The ride home from the hospital was awkwardly quiet, the only sound being the soft hum of the engine and Blaine unconsciously rubbing his knee. Kurt stared out the window the whole ride home, fully aware Blaine's glaze was fixed on him and Rachel's eyes kept fleeting to the rear view mirror, just to make sure he was still there. He sighed and turned to glare at Blaine, then addressed the pair.
"I'm not going to disappear if you look away from me for one second. I'm not glass that will break if you don't cover me in cotton wool. Stop staring at me like you are better than me. Stop giving me your pity because I sure as hell don't need it." He snapped, "Quit the act Blaine, I know you still think you love me but you don't and Rachel I know you are only still here so you can use me as a sob story when you get on TV talk shows. You are both wasting your time!"
"Grow up Kurt!" Rachel snapped back. "We care! Blaine is hurt here too so stop making this about you!"
"Rachel!" Blaine growled, angry at the girl for losing her temper so easily.
"No Blaine! I know all you want to do is help him but you can't do that if he's acting like a brat!"
"Just like you have been since middle school!" Kurt yelled back to the girl. "Now focus on the road. Unlike you I do really care if Blaine gets hurt." Kurt muttered as he returned his gaze to out the window. Blaine's gaze fell back on the boy, the sun hitting his pale face in the same way it did in Ohio last summer. Where all that mattered was Kurt and Blaine, planning their future. We'll still have it, Blaine thought, I promise I will make you happy again.
"So here we are." Rachel stated once the trio got into the apartment, "Home."
"Really? I thought we walked into a strangers flat." Kurt drawled sarcastically. He walked past Rachel to his room and slammed the door shut. Rachel let out a sigh of releif and Blaine glared at her.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He snarled, "He needs support not you being a bitch!"
"He was being a bitch first." Rachel replied.
"That is childish Rachel, c'mon. He needs us right now, he needs his best friend." Blaine insisted, Rachel just shook her head. "He does and he knows it. It is a hell of a lot to take in right now so understandably he wants to be alone."
"What if he kills himself?" He whispered, "What if we screw it up Blaine, and we lose him?"
"I won't let that happen." Blaine replied, leaning on his crutch. "If I wasn't stupid enough to think Kurt wouldn't get hurt by me pretending you were my girlfriend then he would be ok. He might have never gotten a trigger and he wouldn't be depressed. Its my fault..."
"It's not, you know." Kurt said from the door frame of his room. Rachel spun around, wiping her eyes as she turned.
"Kurt, how long have you been there?"
"Since you called me a bitch." He shrugged then turned to Blaine. "It isn't your fault Blaine. I've been having dark days since Karofsky kissed me in junior year. Some days were really really bad, like your slushie incident or Dave trying to kill himself. Other days were great, like when you surprized me on Valentines day. This just happened to resurface too many memorys of Rachel always beating me. It isn't your fault Blaine, and it isn't yours Rach. It's mine. Look I'm sorry, its been a rough day. But we don't have a guest room and I doubt you want to share a bed with Rachel so, my doors open." Kurt nodded then walked back into his room. Blaine stared after the boy, wondering how he hadn't seen his boyfriend slowly breaking. Rachel look at him and smiled.
"Go on, it's late. You can unpack in the morning." She said, nodding to Kurt's room. "You two need to talk." Blaine smiled and hugged Rachel before hobbling off to Kurt's room.
It was different to what he expected. Sure the Broadway lights mirror and super organized closet were there but the room seemed different to what his Kurt would make it. The walls were grey, the carpet a deep blood red that matched his red bedding. He had twisting red and blue fairy lights wrapped around his head and foot board and the playbills Blaine expected to grace the wall were of darker musicals like Sweeney Todd and posters of gory televisions shows Blaine never watched like Dexter and American Horror Story.
"I know it isn't what you'd expect, but they made me feel better if that makes sense." Blaine spun to see Kurt standing by the door of his en suite in his navy blue pyjamas. He walked closer to Blaine as he elaborated. "No matter how messed up it seemed in my head, no matter how hopeless, they're minds always seemed worse. Mrs Lovett resorted to cannibalism, Tate and Dexter to murder. I related with all of them but only in one way, I'd do anything to protect the people I love. I'd kill for them, kill any problem that could hurt them. Then I figured out the only problem that could hurt them was me, and I could get rid of that problem so so easily. So I thought about it, I never found a reason strong enough to do it. Then I realized if there was no me, there would be no reason for your Dad to hurt you. I mean I'm still here, and look at you." Kurt gestured to Blaine's beaten up appearance. "You got hurt."
"Kurt you can't possibly think you are a problem." Blaine sighed. "You are the only thing that has kept me going at that hell of a school." Kurt shook his head.
"I was the reason you transferred. Ergo I created the problem." Kurt said, his voice a little teary.
"And if you hadn't I'd be stuck in a miserable relationship with Sebastian who would cheat on me but convince me to stay with him." Blaine took Kurt's hands in his own. "Ergo you prevented the problem."
"I missed you so much." Kurt cried, letting the flood gates open as he fell into Blaine's chest. "I'm so sorry. Please still love me. Please don't be lying to me." He whispered.
"Hey shush, baby shush." Blaine soothed. "You have nothing to be sorry for, just don't ever try and hurt yourself again Kurt. I love you so much, I'd never lie to you. I love you, I promise." Blaine whispered back kissing the top of Kurt's head. "I promise."
Update! Yay! I've been off school sick for the past few days so I need to do something intelligent before my brain turns to mush, therefore updates! PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!