AUTHOR'S NOT:
Thank you guys so much! I really like reading your comments and seeing that you like it :)
I'm sorry this chapter isn't really exciting, it's mostly piper taking care of Alex. Great Alex who is always in control, vulnerable. I always feel like that's something special.
Please leave a comment what you think!
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own ANY of these characters!
PIPER'S POV
Alex is finally asleep.
When she came home, I could definitely see she had been doing drugs, but I didn't dare to say. If I was alone with her, I would probably have let her go again, so I'm really glad Nicky was there to help me. Maybe it's because she is used to such situations, considering she was an addict herself, but she is just not afraid to confront Alex with her drugs problem.
Alex wasn't really amused and still very high from the heroin. I could tell she was tired, since that is what the heroin does after a while. First a rush and after that just feeling numb - exactly where she was looking for.
Nicky tried to convince Alex to go to rehab again, the clinic she went to a few years ago, but Alex refused. She said she would rather fuck a guy than go to rehab again. Well, that's something. We made an agreement: if she can stay clean tomorrow, we are going to try by ourselves. Nicky knows enough about getting clean and I can support her. At first Alex didn't want to agree, I felt really sad when I realised that is because she don't thinks she can stay clean for one day, but after a while she realised she didn't have a choice. So she agreed. After that, Alex started shivering, so we decided it was enough for the day.
Nicky decided to stay for the night, since it was getting really late and Alex could use the support tomorrow, so she is sleeping on the couch in the livingroom. I went to the bedroom with Alex and we cuddle for a bit.
"I really just want you to be happy and better, Al. I don't want to be the bad guy"
"I know, Pipes. I know. I'm just.. tired. It's fine"
She cried. Alex never cries. We didn't talk anymore and I just hold her, until she finaly fell asleep in my lap, while I was rubbing her back.
Carefully, I put her down on the bed. She is still wearing her normal clothes and I decide to change it to her pyjama, that will be more comfortable for her. Quickly, I remove her shirt and bra and put on the sweatshirt she always wears in bed. When I take off her pants, I notice something falling on the ground. It's way to warm for her joggingpants, so I tuck her in and give a little, soft kiss on her cheek. She moves and mumbles for a bit. I watch her sleep for a moment before I bend over to pick up a little package.
"Shit" I say, way to loud. Alex moves for a bit again, but she doesn't wake up. I sigh and walk towards the livingroom.
"Nichols? Are you awake?" I whisper, standing by the couch.
"Fuck, Chapman, I almost slept"
"Sorry, nevermind" I want to walk away again when she grabs my arm.
"I'm awake already, kid. So tell me. Hey, what's that in your hand?" she points at the little package I just found in Alex' pocket.
"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about.. I found this in Alex' pocket while I was putting her into bed"
"That's fucking heroin, Chapman"
"I know"
"It's worse than I thought. I thought she was doing coke or crack or something like that again, jesus. Why didn't she just say so"
"We didn't ask what she was using, you know. I think we would have sent her to rehab right away, without any agreements"
"We can still do that, kid. It's never too late"
"We have to give her a chance, Nicky. She was crying like a little kid, I can't send her away like this"
"Crying? Vause never cries"
"I know"
"Shit man. The incident really got to her"
"That's not weird, you know. I don't know what exactly happened before I found her, but it sure was hell"
"We have to get rid of the heroin, kid"
"She will be so mad"
"Flush it to the toilet and go back to sleep."
I nod and walk to the bathroom. Sorry Alex, it's for your own good.
ALEX' POV
When I wake up, I see Piper is still asleep. It's only 7 in the morning, but I woke up because I need some heroin. I know I am not supposed to use today, but they are both still asleep and I am really scared to rehab cold turkey.
I remember I still have some stuff from Ayden in the pocket of my jeans, which is on the chair next to the bed. As quiet as possible, I slip out of bed. I reach in the pockets of my jeans, but there is nothing in it.
"Fuck" I whisper, as I try to remember where I left it. Did I left it in the bathroom at that bar? No, I had it in my pocket on my way home. I am sure of that.
I put on my glasses as I get on my knees to search for it on the ground, but there is noting there. For a moment I consider to text Ayden again. Piper won't be awake for a few hours, so I have enough time to sneak out the house, get some stuff and be back before she knows I'm gone. But than I remember Nicky in the livingroom. I will never get past her.
"Fuck" I say out loud, again. I lean against the wall as I feel my body getting shivery. I don't want the withdrawal symptons, but I don't think my body is agreeing with that.
Time slowly passes while I'm sitting there, watching Piper sleep.
I am feeling nauseous and I am about to throw up, so I want to run to the bathroom, but my legs are shaking and my bones hurt like hell. I vomit all over myself and start to cry.
I try to get up again, as I feel another wave of nausea coming up, but I fail to. Vomit goes over my body again and I feel so gross. This isn't even the worst stage yet.
"Pipes? Pipes, please wake up" I want to get past my shame, but I can't just yet, so I just whisper. At least I tried.
My head feels like it's spinning around and another wave of nausea comes up. I don't even try to stand up anymore.
PIPER'S POV
I wake up because of a weird noice. It sounds like someone is throwing up. I rub my eyes and look around. A quiet sob comes from the corner of the bedroom. It's Alex.
As fast as I can, I get out of bed and run towards her. Carfully I put a hand on her shoulder. She is covered in cold sweat and vomit.
"Al? It's me, Piper. What happened? Did you vomit over yourself?"
She nods. "I don't want you to see me like this" She covers her head in her knees, which she pulled up to her face. With a little force, I put her legs down. She doesn't have the strength to fight it. I hold my breath when I see her body. She is covered in more vomit than I thought. She starts sobbing again when she sees my face seeing her.
"I'm so sorry, Pipes. I'm so sorry"
"I know, Al. I know. Come, let's get you cleaned up"
I don't even mind my hands in her vomit, I just want her to feel better. When I try to lift her up, she shakes her head wildly. "I'm gonna throw up again, Pipes" she says waving with her hands, and before I can reach the bucket on the other side of the room (which stands there because I was too lazy to put it in the garage, after cleaning the windows), she vomits over herself again. I kills me to see her like this. When she is done, she tries to hide her face. She is ashamed, I can see it.
I cup her head, without caring the slime leaking in my hands. "It's okay, Al. You don't have to be ashamed of yourself. We will get through this." She stares at me, as if I'm some kind of weird alien. I can tell she is confused.
"Come on, we can try again, right?" She nods slightly and I try to get her up again. Her face changes, caused by pain in her muscles and bones probably. I read that are withdrawal symptons of heroin.
We reach the shower without Alex vomiting again and I help her get off her clothes. Her eyes are slightly closed and she looks so far away.
"Why are you doing this?" she asks, while sitting on the ground of the shower. I put shampoo in her hair.
"Because I love you, Al. I will always love you"
She remains quiet.
I wash the soap out of her hair and rub her skin with body lotion. She is so amazingly beautiful and I feel so horrible for her feeling this way. Her head hangs down and she mumbles things to herself, which I can't hear.
When I reach her abdomen, her hips push forward. I look to her face, as she starts to blush. She didn't mean to, but I know it turns her on when I massage her abdomen. I smile to her. "It's okay. I have seen you doing that before. But I really have to put the body lotion on your abdomen too, or else it will smell like vomit the whole day.." She chuckles and nods.
I put my hands down on her skin again and rub the body lotion on her abdomen, hips and inner thighs. Out of nowhere, I hear a sob. I look at Alex' face and see some tears in her eyes.
"Alex? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" I stop my rubbing her skin and wait for her to say something.
She just shakes her head.
ALEX'S POV
I feel really ashamed, being washed by Piper, but I try to ignore it. I know I can't do it myself and I don't want to smell like vomit all day.
When she reaches my abdomen, my hips push forward withouth warning. Piper looks at me and I start to blush. I didn't mean to, but my body isn't always in control when it comes to sexual things. Piper smiles. "It's okay. I have seen you doing that before. But I really have to put the body lotion on you abdomen too, or else it will smell like vomit the whole day.." I chuckle and nods.
I try to keep my hips down as she continues, but when she reaches my hips and inner tighs, something else shoots through my head. Two week ago. I don't want to scare Piper away, so I try to hold in my tears as she continues to do what triggers the memory of the most horrible thing ever happened to me.
Tears build up behind my eyes and before I know, I hear myself sob. Piper immidiatly stopped rubbing my skin and looks at me.
"Alex? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" I can't answer. I can't tell her, although she can already guess. I shake my head in order to try to say something, but I just can't.
"Al? Should I stop?"
I don't want to smell like vomit so I shake my head again. I can handle this. I lean my head against the wall as Piper continues putting body lotion on my body. My bones hurt, my muscles hurt and I can't hold my legs still. I feel horrible and it only has been 18 hours since my last shot of heroin.
PIPER'S POV
When I'm done, I help her up again and put some clothes on her. It only took two minutes for Alex to slap me on my arm and pointing to her mouth.
"Are you going to throw up again?" She nods and looks down. I try not to give notice to her being ashamed right now and I help her to the toilet where she bends over and throws up. I hold her her hair back and rub her back. When she is done, her legs give up and she collapses on the floor before I can catch her. She leans her head to the wall and I see tears streaming down her cheeks.
"It's okay, Al. Ssh.. I'm here, I will always be here" I cup her head and wipe away her tears. For the first time since we got in the bathroom, she looks me in the eyes.
"I love you too, Pipes" she whispers.