thank you for reviewing!
Beneath the Stars
SIX
Tauriel reached Lothlórien in mid summer. She came to the borders of the golden forest and camped there for the night, unsure of the welcome she would receive when she tried to enter. Most of the elves there were Silvan, like her. Perhaps they would show some kinship to her. Or perhaps not.
The morning rose, and she entered the wood. She walked quietly, keeping her senses alert. She did not wish to be surprised by an enemy.
She had not walked long when she heard light footsteps approaching her. She drew an arrow to her bow and pointed her weapon at the sound warily. It was likely an elf, but she did not wish to risk the chance of being caught by an enemy unawares.
Out of the forest appeared three elves, their bows drawn as well. One was blond, and taller than the rest; he led the group, seemingly in charge. The others both had soft brown hair, though they were all similar in features.
"Who are you, and why have you come to our lands?" the blond one asked her roughly in the common tongue. He must be on a border patrol. Perhaps he was Captain of the Guard, as she had been. None of them lowered their weapons.
Cautiously, Tauriel dropped her weapons at her feet, staring the blond elf in the eyes. He glanced at the the elf on his left, but made no move to pick up her weapons.
"I am Tauriel," she said, responding to him in Sindarin, which he was sure to speak. "I come to seek...a home, at least for a little while. I mean no threat to you or your people."
Cautiously, the blond elf lowered his bow. The other two kept theirs pointing straight at her.
"Where do you hail from, Tauriel?" he asked, switching over to Sindarin.
She paused. The Woodland Realm would be the obvious answer, but it felt like an eternity ago since she had last seen her homeland. "I was born in the Greenwood, but I have been traveling of late."
The blond elf, deciding she was not a threat, put away his weapons. So did the other two. Tauriel leaned down to retrieve hers and put them away as well.
"I am Haldir," he introduced himself. "These are my brothers, Rúmil and Orophin."
Rúmil and Orophin murmured their greetings. Tauriel nodded to them.
"We patrol these borders," Haldir explained. "Lothlórien has not seen bloodshed in many years, but we remain ever watchful."
"That is wise," Tauriel said. "In the Greenwood, we were not so fortunate. Orcs, spiders, and other monsters were commonplace. As Captain of the King's Guard, I saw my fair share of battle there."
Haldir's eyebrows raised in interest. "Captain of the King's Guard?"
"Yes," Tauriel confirmed. "Though...not any longer. Not since the Battle of the Five Armies."
"I see you have quite a story," Haldir said. "Come. My brothers and I will bring you to our halls, where you may find food and rest."
"Forgive me if I keep some of my tale to myself," she said, following them. "It is painful to recall." She fingered the promise stone in her pocket.
"Of course," Haldir agreed.
They walked for a short while. Tauriel commented on her surroundings, and Haldir began to explain the ways of his people and the secrets of the forest, with occasional interjections from Rúmil and Orophin.
"Your customs are different than ours," Tauriel remarked, "for all we are both Silvan."
"Yes," Haldir agreed. "Your conditions are different. You have had a great malice in your forest, and must deal with it accordingly. We in Lothlórien have, for the most part, used our swords only in practice."
Tauriel nodded. Rúmil stopped walking, and so did his brothers.
"We are here," Haldir announced.
At first, Tauriel didn't see where "here" was. Then she noticed the three brothers staring up. She followed their gaze and gasped softly.
Now she saw. Staircases spiraled around huge tree trunks, leading up to houses in the boughs and branches. Elves went about their business, and now that she was paying attention, she could hear them and feel their presence.
Orophin looked at his brothers. "I am hungry. I'll see you all later." He nodded to Tauriel and walked away.
Rúmil unsheathed his belt dagger and examined it critically. "I think I'll sharpen my weapons. Goodbye, Haldir."
"Goodbye, Rúmil," Haldir said. He glanced at Tauriel. "Our patrol is over," he explained. "Now. I can take you to a place where you can spend the night."
"Do I not need to ask your leaders if I may stay?" Tauriel asked. In the Woodland Realm—well, in Thranduil's halls, at least—the Elvenking would have required it.
Haldir shook his head. "You are our kin. If you were one of the race of men, perhaps. But Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn need not be bothered. We trust you, though I do admit that we do not receive outsiders into our lands often."
Tauriel inclined her head gratefully and said nothing. She was glad to be welcomed and trusted, but she had come here with the intent to gain wisdom and counsel from the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien. She did not intend to stay here forever.
Haldir led her to her own small house in the treetops. She dropped her few belongings there and allowed him to show her around. She found the armory, the soldiers' mess hall, and a clothing shop. She was relieved to discover a spring where she could bathe. Baths had been scarce in the wild.
After thanking him for his hospitality, Tauriel bade Haldir farewell and set to recuperating in civilization. First, she went to the clothing shop. Using the scant coinage she had, she bought a new outfit of brown forest colors. Next she took her new clothes to the spring.
She bathed there, then washed her old garments. Dressed in her new clothes, she returned to her house and hung the wet ones out to dry.
Next, Tauriel took her weapons and headed to the armory. After explaining her situation to the head armorer, he was happy to help her. She traded in the man-made bow Bard had given to her for one crafted by the Galadhrim, much higher in quality. She restocked her arrows, sharpened her daggers, and thanked the armorer for his assistance.
Now both clean and restocked, Tauriel found herself suddenly exhausted. She put her things away, laid down on the cot that had been provided for her, and decided to take a long rest.
Tauriel stayed in Lothlórien for a few months. She ate and trained with the soldiers, befriending some of them. She never told anyone exactly why she was there and not still residing in the Greenwood. The Lothlórien elves respected her privacy. She imagined they had their own ideas about her circumstances, though she doubted any were near the truth.
She took to wandering at night. She was not the only elf in the wood to do so. Many times she heard quiet murmurs or footsteps, but she was never disturbed. In daylight, she might seek out company, but at night she desired only to be alone with her thoughts.
A strange numbness had crept over her. It had been nearly a year since the few fateful days that had changed her life so irrevocably. She had burned with a fire and a passion then, speaking her mind and never second-guessing her instincts. Now, she was more subdued. She had seen the harsh realities of the world, and the grief and heartbreak that accompanied willful battles.
She remembered her own deep, heart-wrenching, soul-shattering sorrow after Kíli's death. She remembered her slow, painful recovery, alone in Dale with nothing to comfort her save for Thranduil's last words to her, It was real. She knew that. The pain she felt was proof enough of that. She had been so bitter and angry at the world, at him, at herself. It was only at the funeral where she let that anger go, knowing it was not what Kíli would have wanted her to feel.
But some of her fire had passed with the anger. She was sadder, now, and more pensive. She spoke less, and not just for lack of companions to speak to. This troubled her, but not as much as it should, perhaps.
Traveling with the dwarves had given her a sense of purpose, an end goal. Reaching that goal had only reopened her painful wounds that had just begun to heal. Dís's fresh grief and quiet acceptance pained her. No one deserved to have lost as much as she had. Tauriel knew. She had suffered loss as well, though after a different fashion.
When she had gone her own way, she had begun to wander. She had hoped it would give her some new purpose, a new light. It did not. After months of aimless wandering, she had come to Lothlórien. But dwelling here, even among her kin, she still felt alone. These elves were not her people. She missed her friends in Mirkwood. She missed her forest. She missed her duty, her passion, her fire. But she could not return. Thranduil had never rescinded her banishment. She was not welcome in her home anymore.
Home. Did she even want a home? A literal, physical house—that she had, here in Lothlórien. It gave her no peace. It did not feel like it was hers.
Tauriel missed the stars. In the Greenwood, she had traveled beyond the forest to see them in all their splendor. But she did not do that now. She was too afraid of the memories they might bring her.
"Tauriel," said a soft voice behind her, startling her out of her deep thought. She whirled around, unsheathing her daggers instinctively.
She beheld before her an elf of impossible beauty. Her hair was long and golden, her eyes blue like a pond in sunlight. Her skin was fair and smooth, her smile soft. A power, or magic, seemed to emit from her—subtle, but strong. Though Tauriel had not before seen her in her stay in Lothlórien, there could be no doubt who this elf was: Galadriel, Lady of Light.
Tauriel resheathed her knives and bowed to her. "My lady, I am honored," she murmured. She had long wished for Galadriel's counsel—it was the reason she had come here in the first place—but now that she was face to face with her, she did not know what to say.
Galadriel walked toward her. "Tauriel, there is no need to bow."
She rose. "My lady, what brings you here?"
"You are troubled," she said quietly. "I have known you were here for a long time. I did not know why, but..now that I stand before you, I can see." She leaned forward and touched Tauriel's chin. Tauriel stiffened, uncomfortable with the level of close contact.
"You have suffered a great loss," Galadriel continued. "You have been changed by it. You are lost. You do not know where to go."
"Yes, my lady," she said, her voice trembling.
"Whom did you love?" Galadriel asked softly, releasing her.
"My love," she whispered, purposefully being vague. "He fell...he died in the Battle of the Five Armies."
Galadriel nodded. "And you mourn him still?"
"With all my heart." Tauriel's voice cracked. "I will never see him again—we had such little time together...I have wandered ever since. I do not know how to go on. I thought coming here, receiving counsel from you, my lady, being surrounded by my kin...I thought it would give me some solace."
"But it has not," Galadriel murmured. She looked Tauriel in the eye. Tauriel shivered slightly, awed by her beauty. "The past brings you no comfort, but it will do you no good to retreat into yourself and ignore all you have faced. Find an outlet for your pain. Do not let it consume you."
Tauriel nodded. She had found a hole in her life since the battle, but she had done nothing to fill it. She took out Kíli's promise stone and turned it over in her hands, mulling over her options.
"Thank you, my lady," Tauriel said, bowing to her again. "Your counsel has done me good, I hope. But..." She hesitated. "I do not wish to stay here. Lothlórien is not my home. I do not know where my home is, but it is not here."
"Go to Rivendell," Galadriel suggested. "You may find it not to be your home, either, but Elrond may have further guidance for you. He is caught between worlds as you are, Tauriel who has been touched by dwarven hands, and he, too, knows great loss because of it."
Tauriel stiffened. She had not told Galadriel that Kíli was a dwarf. Was it that obvious? Or was she that powerfully observant?
However she knew, she was right. Lord Elrond Peredhel, the Half-Elven, knew loss. If the stories that had reached the Greenwood were true, he was half man, and his brother had chosen to die among men. He could, perhaps, comfort her, being much older and wiser than she. And Rivendell was a kindly place, she knew. She would go.
"Thank you, Lady Galadriel," she said again.
"You are welcome, child," Galadriel said, smiling softly.
Tauriel looked down briefly to put away her promise stone. When she looked up, the Lady of Light was gone.