AUTORS NOTES: I know I said I would publish this chapter, but a few days ago I got an idea. Something I really wanted to be in here, so that is also one of the reasons it isn't the biggest chapter ever. I tried to make it longer, but this was the longest I could make it.
The next chapter (that actually was this chapter) is almost done, so in a day or three I will publish it.
Again I used some songs. This time it was "Het Donker" (the dark), "De Bestemming" (the destiny) and "De Waarheid" (the truth) all by Marco Borsato and all sung in Dutch (that might also be the reason the titles are in Dutch).
I don't own Glee or the characters. How much I'd like to, I don't.
One last thing: I hope you enjoy this chapter :)
The room I stood in was dark, I was alone. My body wasn't visible, but I could feel it. The darkness pressed on my skin, scaring me. Where was I?
I'm fine during the day, but as soon as the lights go off, I feel it again.
The darkness lights all my questions and fears, it breaks the silence of my breaking heart, making the distance between us bigger, dimming the lies and letting the truth speak louder. Why are we born and why do we live? Show me this. Let me feel the things I give. One moment, so I know, that it had not all be for nothing.
You make your own rules, you're free in that. The beginning and the end are given, but that is it. There is no guilt, but every step has consequences for everyone. Still, this game is played alone. I don't get it, why am I here? Searching for an answer to a question no one knows. I want to play this game, but how if I don't know what to do. Should I believe everything has its reason, that no one can tell me why I live this life? That everything comes back to trust, something I don't have.
It started when I left her behind. It must hurt her that she's losing me. For her, the birds will no longer fly, the earth will no longer spin. The love she feels will disappear. It must hurt her to know there is someone else holding my heart.
The darkness makes his image appear. I close my eyes and imagine being with him. It hurts me, because I know how much she needs me. And it hurts, because I wasn't there for her. I was everything to her. It hurts me to know I bring back the smile on her face. It hurts me, because I recognize love in his eyes. It hurts me to know what I did. But what hurts the most, is that I will hurt her.
Everything starts to spin; the room, me, my mind. My thoughts are going wild, souring my brain, souring my body. They are attacking me. Punching me, exploding on my skin. It hurts so much. All over my body. And it doesn't stop. I'm still spinning, while my thoughts are attacking me. Again and again. The pain grows. Soon, it will end. Soon, I will end. I don't even care anymore. I'd let them. I'd let my mind attack me and eventually finish me. Just like it started. I stop resisting. Let them get me. Take my life. You've started everything, finish it as well.
I feel weaker, I can't handle much more. Closing my eyes, I drift off. A warm place, I hope. A nice place. No more mind controlling me. Slowly, the darkness drifts away, my body falls, fast. Faster and faster I fall. Just before I hit something it happened.
Blaine woke up rapidly. Heavily breathing, sweat dripping off his face. He put his hands on his face and went through his hair, both wet from sweat, still heavily breathing. He was in his bed, safely in his house. His body didn't ache, his mind was empty. The room, still dark, but light enough to see the silhouettes' of his drawer, the closet, and the door. It was a dream. It wasn't real.
Or was it? Was he so attacked by his mind he didn't mind to live anymore? Was he overthinking everything and has he stopped to listen to the one that matters: his heart? To stop listening to what his mind said wasn't the trouble, it was starting to listen to his heart. Listen to what he feels and act upon it.