Chapter Twenty-Two

Even if she'd had the foresight to predict the disaster, she still wouldn't have imagined Syaoran reacting like this. His arms were so tight around her chest, it was a struggle to breathe. Her eyes overflowed with tears, the shock of the situation finally hitting her as she found a safe place in his arms. Sobs racked her body, and it took her a moment to realize he was crying, too.

I don't think I've ever seeing him cry, she thought, though there had been times when she'd suspected he'd gone off alone to do just that. Both Syaorans, not just this one.

"Are you okay?" he asked after almost a minute, not loosening his embrace.

"Yeah."

"You're not burnt or . . ."

She shook her head.

"I'm glad," he whispered, pressing his moistened cheek to hers. It was the most intimate contact she'd ever had with him, though that was not saying much given how little they'd interacted since coming to Infinity. She hadn't realized how much she'd been craving this interaction until he'd wrapped his arms around her.

Yet, somehow, it still wasn't quite right. The arms she wanted encircling her were off in some other dimension, possibly being used to kill. However similar the two of them were, this Syaoran wasn't hers like the other had been.

"We have to find Fai-san, and Kurogane-san," she said, unlacing her arms from his waist and lifting them to her face, to wipe away the tears and ashes. With palpable reluctance, he loosened his embrace and finally, painfully, let her go.

"Right. I think I saw them coming down the fire escape."

She remembered watching Fai run back up the stairs, slicing through the crowd. She remembered standing there, staring up at him until the heat of the inferno overwhelmed her and forced her to hobble down the metal steps. If they were coming down, they must've gotten away okay, she thought, turning and looking around to find them.

"There," Syaoran said, pointing. Sakura craned her neck in that direction and saw the faces of her companions. She hurried over, Syaoran on her heels.

"Is everyone safe?" she asked Kurogane when she was close enough, assuming the dark-haired man had stayed behind to help people get out.

"Everyone who found out in time escaped, at least from our floor."

"That's good."

"How did you know there was a fire escape at the end of the hall?" the ninja asked, watching her face the same way he did whenever he asked Syaoran questions. "There wasn't a sign, and the extra room would've prevented anyone from seeing the actual door."

She bit her lip, trying to figure out how to explain the flash of intuition she'd experienced when she'd seen the flames coming up from the stairwell. "I'm not sure . . . I remember Yukito-san teaching me a little bit about how to use my magic, but I left before I could learn much. Or I don't remember all of it." She frowned. From what she knew of her past, she was pretty much acting in line with her old personality, but even so, she found herself uncharacteristically annoyed by the fact that she didn't remember more than a few fragments of what Yukito had taught her. I know he was teaching me how to look into the future, but I can't remember how exactly I'm supposed to do that.

Maybe that's best, part of her suggested. If Seishirou is on the lookout for magic-users, it may be better to act like you don't have any useful magic at all. Her thoughts drifted to Syaoran without her permission. I've only ever seen him use magic once, back in Tokyo, but Seishirou seemed sure that whatever he could do would be enough. But what does he want? A warrior? That would only make sense if Syaoran was just as skilled a fighter as he was. And if that was it, taking me along wouldn't have even crossed his mind. So Syaoran must have other magic that Seishirou could use. She wondered if Syaoran would tell her what kind of magic he had, if she asked.

Probably not, she decided. Fai was right about that much. Syaoran's not going to talk about it, if there's any way to avoid it.

"Are you feeling okay, Sakura-chan?" Fai asked, jerking her out of her ponderings.

"I'm fine. I'm not hurt at all, so please, don't let me be a burden to you."

The magician reached down and ruffled her hair. "It's not a burden at all."

Soot continued falling down from the sky, mingling with the water from the fire hoses. The fire had mostly died down now, leaving the blackened skeleton of the apartment complex behind. Sakura stared at the charred bricks, the now-absent windows, the smoke stains on the walls. The others followed her gaze.

"I guess we're going to have to find a new apartment," Fai said.

"We won't have the money for a payment until tomorrow, after the fight." The ninja wiped a hand across his face, smearing the gray ashes plastered to his skin.

"We could camp out in the park."

"What a pain."

Sakura looked at Syaoran, hoping he'd have a suggestion. He just shrugged. "There's a decent spot near the fountain. It should stay warm enough."

It's going to be a long night, she thought, deflated.

"In any case," Fai said. "we should probably clear out before the building comes down around us."

The ninja rolled his eyes, but started walking. Everyone else followed.

Dozens of others from their building had gathered in the park, but the spot Syaoran had mentioned remained unclaimed. Fai laid his coat, grabbed hastily in their escape, by the fountain. "Sakura-chan?"

"I'm not tired."

Some of the light left the magician's eye. Sakura sat down on the edge of the fountain, feeling guilty for the abrupt refusal, but knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep, no matter how soft his coat was.

Kurogane sat down on the ground, leaning against the edge of the fountain and closing his eyes. Syaoran curled up under the lip of the fountain, laying against the hard ground. Looking dejected, Fai laid down on top of his coat.

Sakura watched the firefighters douse the remainder of the flames. Every so often, one of them would come out of the building carrying an ash-covered body. Some of these were still moving, or crying out in agony. Some, she knew as she took in their dangling limbs and unresponsive faces, were dead. As the streets filled with soot, engines stalled and people wheezed. There was no way she could describe what she saw as anything but a disaster.

The others slept, in spite of their uncomfortable sleeping arrangements. Kurogane fell asleep first, still sitting up. Or, at least, she thought he was sleeping. His body was perfectly still, and his eyes were shut. Without any snoring or indication of dreaming, though, she couldn't be sure. Fai rolled over once so he lie flat on his stomach, face smothered by the soft fur of his hood. Mokona peeked out his shirt and looked around for a bit before plopping down on her lap and going to sleep.

It was Syaoran's sleep that fascinated her most. He didn't fall asleep easily, judging by how many he times he had to readjust before his muscles relaxed. Even then, he moved restlessly, occasionally murmuring things too indistinct to make sense of. Now and then, his body would tighten up, and his forehead would wrinkle, like he was cringing away from something.

He dreams, she thought. And not all his dreams are pleasant.

She wondered what they were about. If she'd been sleeping, her nightmares would've likely stemmed from the stressful events of tonight, but perhaps Syaoran was dreaming of his time in captivity. I wonder what they did to him. He said he'd been imprisoned for a very long time, and that he has all the memories of the Syaoran I knew, but he never said why he was held prisoner.

Syaoran turned restlessly. "Don't," he murmured. She leaned in closer, trying to understand the meaning behind the word. "Please don't . . ."

What are you dreaming about? she wanted to ask, but even if she woke him, what were the chances he'd remember his dream? She settled for eavesdropping on his sleep talk. He muttered a few indistinct syllables, then rolled over again, one hand reaching out as if to restrain someone. After a few moments, he dropped his hand. ". . . not a monster," he murmured. The distress in his voice made her want to wake him, but just as she moved her hand to nudge him awake, he rolled over again. "I'm not a monster."

No, she thought. You're not a monster at all.