Chapter Fifteen: The Parting of the Ways
"Should I sit down for this?" Emma asks giving him a nervous chuckle.
Killian sighs and holds his hand out for her in a tentative manner. Very slowly Emma steps forward and links her fingers through his, and allows Killian to gently guide her towards the small stone windowsill. It is just big enough for the two of them to perch themselves comfortably.
"You can tell me anything." She whispers clutching his hand tighter. "If something is going on at home or in the Slytherin common room, I'm here."
Killian turns to look at Emma and gently tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, allowing his fingers to graze her cheek lovingly, trying to convey that he does really care for her before he finally tells her the truth.
"You know that I care for you. Deeply." He says hesitantly.
Emma raises an eye-brow, but nods. "Of course and I with you."
Killian gives her a bashful smile, before it quickly disappears. "I'm not sure how you are going to look at me when you find out what I am about to tell you."
"Killian…"
"When I first started to get close to you, my intentions weren't so noble. I was a cocky ass, who like Neal did, saw you as a conquest." Killian flinches when Emma quickly retreats her hand. "At first you were just a game to Greg, Tamara and I. I never knew that Neal had done what I was planning to do to you and as soon as I found out I immediately told Greg and Tamara that I was calling it off, as I realized that it was bad form, and not fair…"
Emma's breathing becomes deeper and Killian can see the small tears that are welling up in her eyes.
"Even after I called it off I still wanted to get to know you. The real you. Not the person who hides behind her tough stance. I could the see the hardship of your life behind your eyes and you reminded me of myself. I can't explain it, love. You ignited something in me that no one had ever done before and I felt a strong connection with someone finally since Liam's passing. Emma I never wanted to hurt you when I broke the bet off. I never wanted you to find out. Milah…"
"Did the right thing!" Emma hisses. "Whether she was bitch about it or not… I should have known. You should have told me right from the start. Instead you thought you would be sneaky and believe that it would never come back to haunt you. News flash Jones, in the Muggle World there is such thing as karma and right now you deserve any shame that you feel. How could you?"
Killian looks at her with wide eyes. "Emma… please. I called it off long before I developed deeper feelings for you. You are not a simple conquest to me. I think our Patronus' are a clear example of that."
Emma stands and glares at him. "I never said I was a joke to you. What I'm pissed about is you not telling me and to make matters worse you had sex with me with this hanging over your head. How could you do that? Knowing deep down that you were keeping something from me? How could you take everything from me, knowing damn well that you were never honest with me?"
Killian also gets to his feet. "Emma please be reasonable about this. I knew if I told you we would never have gotten to this point where we are now. I care about you so much…"
Emma spins round and faces him. "How do you know that? The one thing I admire most in people is honesty. If you had told me I would have forgiven you, but instead it takes a jealous ex-girlfriend to get you to finally tell me the truth. I…I can't even look at you right now."
"What does that mean?" Killian whispers.
Emma allows a tear to slip from her eyes. "It means that I- that I can't do this."
"Emma…"
"I'm sorry. I have to go."
Killian reaches out to take her hand but Emma brushes him away. And before Killian has time to register what is happening Emma is taking off down the corridor, not even glancing back at him once.
…
The common room is empty when Killian returns or so he thought. As soon as his eyes land on the brown mass of Milah's hair he suddenly feels the urge to hex her to Mars.
"Judging from the sad look on your face I take it she didn't forgive you." Milah sneers.
"You know she didn't, you bitch. Stop playing innocent. You purposely tore apart our relationship."
Milah shrugs. "Oh Killian I only played a part. You should have been a man and told her from the start. You didn't seriously think you could live the rest of your life with that hanging over the pair of you. She was eventually going to figure it out."
"She has a name." Killian spat. "It's Emma. So I suggest you use it."
Milah rolls her eyes. "I don't care. Anyway you got what was coming to you. Liars don't deserve anything. She'd be much better off with one of her loyal Gryffindor buddies instead of a snake…"
Milah freezes mid-sentence when she sees the devastation written across his face and very slowly she breaks out into a smirk.
"Now I see why you're so upset…" Milah whispers. "You love her. Who would have thought that the Slytherin Prince, Killian Jones would fall in love at the age of seventeen with the Gryffindor orphan? You messed up Jones. Move on. There is no way that Emma will ever take you back now."
Killian doesn't even stop the tear that leaks from his eye as Milah saunters away from him and into the female dormitories.
She is right though. He does love Emma Swan.
…
By morning the entire school knows that the shocking golden couple, Emma Swan and Killian Jones have broken up but more importantly they know the reason.
Killian has barely stepped foot into the Great Hall that Monday morning when he is punched in the face. The entire hall gasps in shock and when Killian manages to open his eyes to see who had punched him, he isn't surprised to see David standing there, a seething look upon his charming features.
"You're a right fowl git." David spat. "How could you do that to Emma? You know how broken she was and how it took a lot of trust on her behalf to open up to you and you go ahead and repay her like this. You take everything and then decide you're going to drop the bombshell on her. How could you do that? What made you think that that was okay?"
Killian takes a couple of steps backward sensing that David is still on edge. As the two teenagers stare at one another they don't hear De Vil and Hellar storming towards them until De Vil's shrill voice rings throughout the hall.
"David Nolan come with me right this minute!"
"Professor I deserved it." Killian argues not even attempting to soothe his aching jaw which he is fairly certain was already bruised.
"Whether you deserved it or not is not the problem. Physical violence is against the school's rules. My office now Nolan." De Vil hisses.
David glares at Killian once more before he exits the hall a very angry De Vil following him. Hellar remains behind.
"You might want to get that checked, Jones. It looks like he could have broken a cheek bone…"
"He didn't. He just gave me a well-deserved punch." Killian doesn't even give Hellar a chance to respond as he walks towards his table.
His gaze lands on the Gryffindor table and sure enough Emma and Mary Margaret aren't there, but the rest of the Gryffindor students are making sure to give him the most intimidating glares they can muster and even Emma's friends from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are joining in.
…
Robin and Regina sit overlooking the grounds of Hogwarts from the inside of the library. Things are silent between the two of them.
"I'm sorry for what Killian did." Regina says after a few moments. "I know he can be an idiot at times, I just didn't think he would do something like that."
Robin's grip on his pen tightens. "He's a complete ass. He's completely destroyed her."
Regina turns to look at Robin. "I might be a Slytherin but I'm on your side. He behaved like a jerk and he needs to pay for it. If Emma needs someone else to talk to other than her friends, she can always come to me."
Robin smiles at Regina. "I'm sure she'd like that."
…
"You got two weeks' worth of detention?" Mary Margaret gasps as David sits in front of her and Emma.
"Yeah. I really did wallop him in the face."
Emma rolls her eyes. The sadness and hurt from earlier has disappeared and now she feels herself just consumed with anger, and she knows that if she had been in David's place this morning, she too would have slapped Killian. She is already wishing she had done that last night.
"Did you leave a bruise?" She asks her voice slightly hoarse.
"You can always count on me to leave one, Emma." David smiles.
"You couldn't have handled it better? David I know what he did was really wrong but was your good reputation in the school really worth it? This incident could affect your future and really it's Emma's place to hit him, not yours." Mary Margaret scolds.
Emma sighs. "David's like that. If any of his friends are hurt he'll be straight in there."
"I know." Mary Margaret squeezes Emma's hand. "What are you going to do tonight? For patrol I mean?"
Emma shrugs. "I don't want to be near him today. I'm so glad lessons are cancelled because of the teachers marking our exams. I might ask your mom if I can give patrol a miss. I'm sure she'll understand."
"Of course she would. Do you want me to come with you?" Mary Margaret asks.
"I'll be fine. I know where your mum's office is." Emma stands up and slips on a thin sweater over her singlet. "I'll be back."
…
People are pretending not to stare but Emma can feel their glances burning the back of her head. Emma knows it isn't because she and Killian had broken up… it was because the entire school knew that they had had sex and Emma is surprised that none of the teachers have told her off for it.
She descends down the main staircase and sets a direct path to the teacher's lounge only she doesn't get very far as someone blocks her path.
"You know he does really care for you, right?"
Emma looks up to see Tamara standing in front her, a cross expression on her features.
"He made a mistake and he told you. I don't see what the big problem is."
Emma glares. "He wasn't honest with me. That's the problem. Now please get out of my way."
Tamara narrows her eyes. "Are you an idiot? His Patronus is the same as yours. There is a genuine connection between the two of you. Stop being so bloody stubborn and you'll see that he cares for you… a lot. He made a mistake, he's human…"
Emma shoves Tamara out of her path not at all interested in listening to what she has to say, before continuing down towards Eva's office. Emma is fairly certain that Tamara calls her a bitch under her breath.
Eva, sure enough is in the middle of grading the Potions exam when Emma knocks on the door. The elder woman looks up and straight away her expression turns soft when her eyes land on her.
"Honey I'm so sorry what happened. I heard all about it…" Eva says as she beckons Emma in and to shut the door. "I wish there was something I could do to make it better."
"I just need to learn to be careful with who I let in." Emma whispers as she takes a seat opposite Eva. "I wasn't hurt because of the bet, but it's the fact that he kept it from me and let me develop deeper feelings for him when he had this bet hanging over his head."
Eva sighs. "I'm not going to say he doesn't care for you because everyone in this school can see that he has fallen hard but if I was in your shoes, I would have done the exact same thing as you. He shouldn't have kept that secret and he should have been honest with you from the start. I don't blame you for getting upset and needing the time to process it. Killian needs to let you have your space and understand that what he has done cannot be undone. Emma, take all the time you want to forgive him. If he really cares for you like I suspect, then he will give you the space."
Emma smiles softly. Eva Blanchard is the closest thing she has ever had to a mother and she will always love this woman.
"Thank you."
"I take it you've come here to ask me a question then?" Eva asks as she looks at Emma in a motherly way.
Emma sighs. "I don't think I'm quite ready to face Killian today… I was wondering if I could maybe give patrol with him tonight a miss. It will give me more time to work on the final Potions essay."
"I understand." Eva smiles. "I'll let De Vil know. Now would you like some good news?"
"Sure." Emma nods.
"You passed potions with flying colours. Highest mark you have ever received. Congratulations."
…
Emma doesn't see Killian until the next day during their Defence Against the Dark Arts class. Killian has been sat at their usual desk, with his head hung low. He didn't even look up as Emma very took her seat leaving as much distance between her as she could. She could feel nearly half the class had their eyes on the two of them. Once she was seated, Emma couldn't help but look in his direction, only to see that he was staring straight ahead, his posture suddenly rigid.
"Okay, everyone please listen up." De Vil said, as she came to stand in front of the classroom. "I have some good news. Everyone in this room successfully passed their exam, so congratulations. Bad news is, this doesn't mean the rest of the year is for free time. We are now going to start preparing you for your final year at Hogwarts. I am sure you are all just as excited as you are saddened that another chapter of your life is coming to an end."
Emma couldn't help but relate De Vil's words to her and Killian. Was Killian just another chapter of her life coming to an end, or was he in her epilogue. She glanced at Killian, and her heart skipped a beat to see that he was watching her too. Emma knew they needed to talk. She had to do what was right for her, and right now, she knew that she could not be fully happy in their relationship until she had some time to recover, and judging from Killian's saddened gaze, he knew what was coming.
After class, Killian could sense Emma following him, so he purposely headed towards the fifth floor corridor. He knew they had to talk. He had promised himself that he wasn't going to argue with her decision but that was not going to stop him from fighting for her.
"We can just talk here." Emma called and Killian heard her stop behind him.
"Emma…"
She looked down at the ground before finally meeting his eyes. "I meant what I said yesterday. I can't do this. At least not at the moment. I'm hurt, and I am struggling to figure out how I can trust you again, especially so soon. I have no doubt that you care for me. I know you do. I just need time."
Killian stepped towards her and very slowly reached out to place his hand on her cheek. Emma shook her head and stepped back.
"I understand, Swan. I will give you all the time you need, but I won't stop fighting for you."
…..
The last week of term arrived and July brought warm weather and lots of sunshine. Emma and Killian hadn't really spoken to one another since their official break up, but Emma knew that he always had an eye on her. Classes were semi-awkward. They managed to communicate when they needed to, and had to deal with the stares from their classmates. And at the end of each lesson, he would leave with his Slytherin friends and her in return with her fellow Gryffindor's.
Emma kept thinking about this promise to fight for her, but every time she saw him, Emma couldn't help but think he had given up. So far, he hadn't shown any signs of his truly wanting to fight for her and their relationship.
Emma was currently sitting at the Gryffindor table on the last day of term. Her head was in the palm of her hand as she finished writing the last of her speech. She and the other prefects had been asked to prepare a speech for after dinner that day, and the idea of talking in front of the entire school was nerve-wracking.
"I told you that you both should have done this last week." Mary Margaret chided, as she looked between Emma and Robin.
Robin sighed. "We have all day to finish it. We don't have any more classes. It's a free day."
"That isn't an excuse for leaving your speech to be written at the last minute. Anyway, do you know who's going to get head boy and girl position yet?" Mary Margaret asked. "I heard rumours that Ariel and John will receive the positions."
"None of us have been informed yet, so it's all speculation." Emma answered. "Regina will probably be head girl and maybe Robin."
"You don't think you have a chance?" Robin asked, as he turned to Emma.
"I've been in too much trouble this past year." She chuckled, before returning to her speech writing. "Anyway, we're supposed to be informed at midday. All of us prefects have to be in the teacher's lounge for the announcement."
"I hope you two get it." Graham said, as he parked himself down next to Emma. "I don't think anyone can handle two more Slytherin prefects again."
…..
By the time Emma and Robin arrived at the teacher's lounge; Ariel, Victor, Marian, John, Regina and Killian were all already standing there, all looking nervous. Emma knew why. They all wanted the head positions. Immediately, Regina made her way over.
"I think it's you Emma." She whispered. "I heard your name earlier. By the sounds of it, it's you and John."
Emma noticed that no one was listening, so she gave Regina a small smile.
"I don't think so." Emma glanced at Killian, who was now busying himself looking out the window. "Anyway, I think…"
The door to the teacher's lounge opened, and Headmaster Leopold was standing there, a kind and welcoming smile on his face.
"Good afternoon. Would you all like to come in and take a seat? I'm sure you're all excited to find out who will be leading our school next year."
They started to make their way in, and Emma noticed that Killian was hanging back so everyone could walk ahead of him. Emma gave him a slight smile, before entering the room. Even though she couldn't see his reaction, she knew that he had smiled in return. Once seated in between Robin and Ariel, Emma shuffled around until she was comfortable, finally realizing how nervous she actually was.
"Okay, I know you're all excited to find out who we have chosen to be the student leaders next year, but before we do, we have to explain what will be different." Leopold started, as he sat down in an arm chair opposite the others. "First of all, the head boy and girl will receive their own living quarters. You will have two bathrooms, two bedrooms, but a shared common room and even a small kitchen. Obviously, we trust you."
Ariel shifted next to Emma, clearly wanting the job.
"This year, we have also decided that the heads will be from separate houses. The Ministry is certain that Hogwarts houses need to continue merging." Leopold said, before a small smile formed on his face. "So, our head boy is Mr Jones. Congratulations."
Killian looked shocked, and even though Victor, John and Robin looked a little jealous, they still clapped politely. Emma joined in, and she could see that Killian was beaming on the inside though.
"And our head girl, is Miss Swan."
Emma's eyes widened, and so did everyone else's. Both Emma and Killian turned to look at one another before glancing back at Leopold. Awkward times would be ahead.
….
Gryffindor ended up winning both the house and the Quidditch cup. The Great Hall was decorated with red and gold banners, with the Gryffindor Lion on them.
"And we owe our Quidditch win to Emma's amazing Seeker abilities. To Emma!" David cheered, and the entire table raised their glasses.
Emma blushed, but threw back her pumpkin juice with the others, before pouring herself some more.
"Hey, I can't take all the credit. I have the best team ever and I'm looking forward to flying with you all next year as well." Emma replied, and the team cheered again.
"Sorry to interrupt the festivities, but it is time for our prefects to give their speeches and for us to introduce your head boy and head girl. Obviously, the other prefects have been asked to keep it secret, so we hope it is a surprise for you all." Leopold said.
Emma grabbed her piece of parchment, and she and Robin made their way up to the front of the room, before joining the other prefects.
"So before they give their farewell speeches, it is my absolute pleasure to introduce you all to next years, Head Boy and Head Girl, Killian Jones and Emma Swan." Leopold announced.
Immediately the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables erupted in cheers. Benches scraped the floor as the students stood, congratulating their new heads. The cheering went on for another couple of minutes before Leopold finally told them to settle down, and for the prefect's to start their speeches. So, we will start with Emma…"
Emma took a deep breath as she stepped up to the wizard microphone which had been set up for them.
"Good evening everyone. Another year has passed and I can hardly believe it. This year, I have learnt so many things about myself and have grown so much as a person. I started to have faith in myself, and the new relationships I've made have made me stronger. I don't have much to say, as everyone has experienced different things, but I think it is safe to say, that we are all excited for what next year will bring. I'd like to also wish good luck to everyone who will be graduating and that you all succeed in the wizarding world beyond school. Thank you."
A few students didn't know how to react at how short her speech was, but clapped anyway. Killian was next, and the room instantly went silent, as he stood at the podium, with no parchment in front of him.
"To think we have already made it this far in the year is crazy, and that tomorrow we will all be back on the train to London tomorrow. This year, I served as a prefect once again. I have enjoyed my time as a prefect. We have learnt dedication, commitment, patience and how to appropriately discipline, even though I might have needed reminding about that in the beginning. This isn't just a thank you speech, it's also an apology."
Immediately, the entire hall went silent and Emma froze on the spot; she could feel herself starting to shake slightly.
"As you all know, I made the biggest mistake of my life this year. You have all heard what happened, but please allow me to explain my side of the story. At the start of the year, when I disliked Emma Swan, I made a stupid and arrogant bet with my friends, Tamara and Greg. The bet was to get Emma to fall for me and then break her heart. What I was thinking, I will never know. And then everything changed. Emma opened up to me and I instantly regretted the bet, and called it off as soon as I could. I never intended for her to find out, because I actually fell for her and I didn't want to break her heart. I understand now though that I should have been honest, and maybe all this drama could have been avoided. Of course, it all came back to bite me in the back, and I deserved all the hate that came my way, but I wanted to let people know. Emma was not a game to me. I… I love her. And I just wanted to let everyone know about the mistake that I made. I just need people to hear my side of the story and my feelings, and more importantly, how sorry I am."
He turned to look at Emma and he wanted to reach for her when he saw a tear slipping down her cheek, before he turned back to the rest of the hall.
"Thank you."
….
By the end of the feast, Killian was looking around frantically for Emma, wanting to see if she was okay. Only she wasn't there. She was gone.
…..
The train ride back to London was quiet. Emma was still in a daze from Killian's admittance, and the fact that he said that he loved her. Her friends knew better than to try and talk to her about it, and they kept quiet the entire carriage ride back. Killian hadn't attempted to find her on the train, and she found herself wondering whether he would try, especially considering that she had practically ran from the hall as soon as she had the chance.
"Emma, we're here." Mary Margaret shook her shoulder slightly.
Emma came out of her daze and looked around. Sure enough, they were at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, and Emma could see all the families waiting for their children. She would be going home with Mary Margaret for the holidays, and she couldn't help but smile when she saw Mary Margaret's housekeeper, Johanna, waiting for them.
"Are you going to talk to Killian before we leave?" Mary Margaret asked.
Emma sighed. "Let's just get off the train."
Once they were on the platform and reunited with Johanna, Emma couldn't help but look around. Through the crowds of people, she couldn't see Killian anywhere. She turned back to Mary Margaret and Johanna, shoulders slumping.
"Are we ready to go then?" Johanna asked.
"Yeah, let's go." Mary Margaret smiled. "I think we'll be happy to get back to a proper house."
The small group of three made their way over to a small object, which would take them to Mary Margaret's house. Their Portkey was an old football.
"Remember to hang on to your bags." Johanna warned.
Emma gripped her bag tightly, before reaching out to touch the deflated football with Johanna and Mary Margaret.
Her world began to spin and her feet took flight.
And she didn't hear Killian's frantic voice calling for her in the middle of the crowded station.