"Ugh. This weekend has been … ambiguous!" Amy sat in Penny's apartment, sipping a glass of wine. "The party was great. I had fun. But after that everything fell apart."

Penny was at the kitchen island, pouring herself another glass of wine. "Did the meeting with Sheldon go that badly?"

"What meeting? He was an ass, so I walked out on him."

Penny perked up. "Oh?"

"He insulted both of us, you and me; he wouldn't apologize; he implied that, if anything went wrong between us for the past two and a half months, it was my fault; he was just an ass. So I walked out on him – not before I called him a socially retarded toddler and told him to stop trying to control people."

"Wow. Good for you."

"Really? Because I don't feel good. I feel like should have had more patience with and at least heard him out."

"Amy, you took control and didn't let him take it back. That's good. I've watched him in action. That's how he manages the guys – he takes control and doesn't let go. He needs someone who'll do that with him.

You're right that he's essentially a toddler – he doesn't realize that the world doesn't revolve around him. I guess his Mom didn't know how to push him out of the nest and now he's a grown man who thinks any nest belongs to him and any person in his life is a part of him, like an arm or a leg or something. Anyway, I'm getting off track. You can't second guess yourself, because then he'll get control and then you either won't have a relationship or he'll control the relationship."

"I don't really want to be in control, I just don't want to be controlled."

"Exactly. And, in order to keep from being controlled you have to start out in control. You may have to keep control for a while, until he gets how it feels to be on the receiving end of being controlled. Then you can talk about a fair relationship. Basically, your choice is between the possibility of losing him and reality of losing yourself. I don't think that, at this stage of the game, losing him would be a loss. There are enough men around, if you really want a relationship, that you don't need to settle. "

"Penny, sometimes I think you may be the smartest person in the room."

Penny chuckled. "I didn't even finish one year of college. And it was a community college at that. I'm not smart."

'There are different kinds of intelligence and different ways of learning. We 'geeks' have academic intelligence, but we're not always intelligent about living. We're very good with microscopes and equations, but not always with people. You're a natural psychologist – you observe people and learn about them, then you apply what you've learned."

"Really? Because I don't seem to have learned much about making good choices where men are concerned."

'You mean Leonard? He's a little wimpy, but not bad."

"No, not Leonard. He's the best of them, so far. Most of them though, have been losers and borderline abusers. Leonard, if anything is just the opposite. He's intelligent and hardworking. The problem is, it's too easy to abuse him. He just takes it. I'd love for him to stand up for himself once in a while and not be passive-aggressive and whiny. I would really like to find a man who's all grown up."

"I don't think they exist: at least not as unattached specimens."

"So you're saying that all the good ones are taken."

"No. I'm saying that all the taken ones - that stay taken - become good because they're taken and they want to stay that way. Wait, that's a complete oversimplification. What I mean is that, in good relationships, people become 'all grown up'."

"Have you ever seen a good relationship?"

"No. Have you?"

"Yeah. My grandparents – my father's parents. They finish each other's sentences and they're always smiling at each other – not fake smiles, but real 'I'm so happy I'm with you' smiles." Penny smiled fondly. "I always wanted a relationship like that."

"Well, it goes without saying; you have to work at it."

"Or, not to shock your virgin ears but, as my grandma says"'when you're doing someone you love, it's not work'."

Amy giggled. "And what does your grandfather say?"

"Nothing. He just waggles his eyebrows and pinches her bottom."

Amy laughed out loud. "I can't see Sheldon or Leonard doing that. Maybe Howard, but not them." She paused, considering for a minute. "You know, with Sheldon, maybe a written agreement is the best way to approach things. He really is clueless about how people interact and how to read social cues. I'm not much better, but I think I can learn from experience and, it seems, I have some people in my life now who are willing to let me know, without judgement, when I've crossed a line.

I'm going to propose to Sheldon that we each write a tentative agreement and exchange them. We can then each edit the other's plan. We can then discuss the changes and, if both agree, consolidate the two into an actual relationship agreement."

"That's going to require compromise. I think you can do it, but I doubt Sheldon can."

"We'll just have to wait and see. Anyway, once I've written my version of the agreement, I think I'll want to go over it with you and Bernadette, I don't want to leave any loopholes. And I most definitely want it to be to my advantage."

"You know he'll veto anything that doesn't favor him."

"It'll be interesting, won't it – trying to out-Sheldon Sheldon."