Chapter Forty-Five
It took ten minutes to learn the technique Seishirou had shown him, and while he knew his teacher was purposely allowing himself to be taken down, Syaoran couldn't help but feel a little satisfied when he heard him hit the ground.
"I think you've got it," Seishirou said, stretching out his shoulders as if the multiple impacts had actually hurt. That's something else to learn, Syaoran thought. I have to react to my injuries like they hurt, even if this body is more resistant to pain.
"What do we get to work on next?"
The older man shrugged. "What do you want to work on?"
Syaoran thought about that for a moment, his mind flitting through the dozens of techniques Seishirou had used since they'd started traveling together. "You picked that lock at the shipyard. Can you teach me how to do that?"
Seishirou arched one black eyebrow. "We're going from fighting to picking locks?"
"It seems like a useful skill. I might end up in another situation like that, where picking the lock would be less conspicuous than kicking down a door."
"Not all locks are created equal, Syaoran-kun. What I teach you here might not be useful for locks in other countries."
"I know, but it seemed to work here just fine."
"We got lucky. In a world like this, an electronic keypad or retina-scanning device would be more common. And in other worlds, the lock system will be more complex than what I can show you."
"I'd still like to learn," he said. Any piece of information was potentially valuable, and he didn't want to lose the chance to pick up this particular skill. It would've served me well half a dozen times already, he thought.
Seishirou smiled. "I suppose you would. Come on then, there's a lock we can work with on the bedroom door."
Syaoran followed his teacher to the door, then watched as he slipped two pieces of twisted metal out of his shirt pocket. "You slip this piece in first," he said, holding up the appropriate tool. Syaoran nodded. "It acts sort of like the body of the key, stabilizing the lock so that you can manipulate the mechanism inside. Then, you take the second piece and move it just above the first one. Now, it'll depend on exactly what tools you have at your disposal, but this kind of lock is fairly easy to break through, so we'll start here."
He nodded again, watching the thinner piece slide on top of the other.
"You'll have to practice this part to get the feel for breaking in. It's both a twisting motion, and an up and down motion. Once you're used to that, you should be able to feel the gears sliding around inside the lock and . . . There." Seishirou turned the knob and let the door swing open. His hand caught around the other side and locked it again. "Now you try."
Syaoran took the tools in his hand and knelt down next to the lock.
"I'm going to tend to my brother," Seishirou said. "Practice until you can pick the lock in less than thirty seconds."
"Okay." He turned his attention back to the lock and started working. Behind him, he heard Seishirou running water in the bathtub. By the time Syaoran inserted the second piece of metal into the lock, his teacher had dragged Fuuma into the bathroom. It seemed so strange. Back in Clow, Seishirou had seemed like an interesting, if somewhat cryptic, warrior. Seeing him in a caretaking role was somewhat jarring. Everyone has someone they would do anything for, he thought, his concentration slipping from the lock as he thought of Sakura.
I would do anything for her, he thought. I would die for her, kill for her, suffer for her. And she will never smile for me.
It's not your place, some distant part of him thought. His shoulders slumped a little. It shouldn't matter to you what she thinks. You're nothing to her. She doesn't know anything about you. She doesn't even know your real name.
He frowned, a familiar expression on his face. None of them knew my name. That's something else I lied about. He hadn't meant to lie about that, hadn't meant to keep such basic information from his friends, even after the painful ostracism he'd experienced at their hands. But somewhere along the line, he had gotten used to being referred to by the Other's name.
Names have power. It's better if they don't know who I am. Better if they don't even know I'm alive.
He continued manipulating the lock, trying to get a feel for the mechanisms. It was a lot more difficult than Seishirou had made it out to be, and he spent almost half an hour working before he heard the distinct series of clicks that marked his success. He turned the knob and let the door swing open, pleased with his work. Then he locked it from the other side and shut it. Let's see if we can do it faster this time.
"We should probably be moving on to the next world," Sakura said one day, after they collected their winnings from the another game of human chess. Fai glanced over to see the solemn look on her face.
She didn't look back at him.
"There's not much point in staying unless there's another feather in this world," Kurogane said.
Mokona poked its head out of the ninja's shirt. Fai noticed Kurogane showed no reaction to the invasion. "Mokona senses no more feathers in this world."
"We'll go tomorrow morning," the ninja decided.
"If we're going to go, don't you want to leave as soon as possible?" Fai asked, the longest handful of words he'd said in the two weeks since his curse had been activated. The ninja glanced over, his gaze as sharp as the edge of a sword. Fai went on, trying to ignore the silent accusation in that stare. "You're trying to go back to your home world, aren't you? Don't you want to hurry?"
"We'll get there when we get there." Flat and emotionless, the words served no purpose except to stave off further conversation. Empty words, Fai thought, wondering how things had come to this. He'd realized the others were grieving, realized it when Sakura had run off and sobbed in the stairwell for an hour the other day, but this was something beyond mere sorrow. It was as if both the others had lost their will to move forward. Just like me.
They walked to their apartment, and headed up in the elevator. The silence, though expected, pressed on Fai's eardrums like a heavy weight. It was every bit the ostracism the new Syaoran had faced after Tokyo, but now directed at him. I deserve it, he thought bitterly, wrapping his arms around his chest as if for warmth. I destroyed everything.
They reached their apartment and went inside. Like always, Sakura grabbed the first-aid kit from the medicine cabinet and handed bandages to each of them before retiring to her room.
"Kurogane," he said after a moment.
The ninja ignored him, bandaging the small cut he'd gotten in the fight. Using his sword to deflect an oncoming dagger had saved him from the worst of the damage, but the enemy's blade had still left a narrow slice in his upper arm, and Fai could smell the sweet blood dripping from it. He bit his lip, trying to fight off the sudden hunger. It's been too long, he thought. If I don't feed soon, I'll start getting weaker.
And isn't that exactly what you deserve? another part of his mind demanded. After all you've done, after all they've suffered because of you, don't you deserve to starve?
"Kurogane," he said again, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"What?" the ninja demanded, refusing to look at him.
All you have to do is ask. No matter how furious he is, he won't let you starve. Fai lost his nerve, eyes dropping to the floor. "Never mind."
The ninja sighed. Fai stood up and started walking to his bedroom. He stopped at the doorway.
"You haven't fed since the kid died," Kurogane muttered. That was all he said.
"I haven't," he agreed.
"Why not?"
Because I want to die. He swallowed thickly.
"Do you really think the kid would want you to starve yourself like this?" the ninja asked. The question hung in the air like carbon monoxide, poisoning them.
After several seconds, the ninja went on. "The kid would've hated it. He would've felt guilty if you did something so stupid because of him."
He's dead now. Fai leaned against the doorframe. "I know that."
The dark-haired man sighed, exasperated. "So why don't you ask? You have to ask, when you're hungry."
Stop torturing me like this! Fai bit back the words before they could reach his tongue. I won't ask. I'd rather die. He had that much pride, at least. It would be weeks yet before he starved. The small discomfort he was feeling now was only one more thing toward his eventually atonement. If I can even redeem myself after this.
"I won't ask," he whispered, just loud enough for the ninja to hear.
A cold silence overtook the living room once again. After a while, Fai began to wonder if the ninja was going to reply to that, or if he should just go to bed. Just as he was about to move through the door, Kurogane said, "Then I won't offer."