In the few days since Bel had agreed to date Takeshi, he had found that sleeping next to the younger male helped greatly with his insomnia; while he still struggled to get to sleep, he was waking up less and less throughout the nights, especially once he had been reassured it was okay to go back to sleep whenever Chiara awoke because Takeshi would look after her for him.

It was strange that Bel had found himself so comforted by sharing his bed with someone; even as a little boy, he had never had someone sleep beside him – not his parents, not his brother; not even the other Varia members when he was young and battling the nightmares of his childhood.

But with Takeshi, Bel found that he enjoyed having the other next to him. He didn't want to be cuddled or touched in any way, and he always moved to the edge of the mattress if the Japanese male came closer to him; he wasn't yet comfortable with the idea of intimacy, but knowing that the younger was there beside him helped soothe the restlessness inside.

Takeshi never minded the way Bel would keep distance between them; he understood, and he was happy to keep things at the boy's pace until the blond could tolerate more.

Currently, the two were laying on their own sides of Bel's bed. Takeshi was humming quietly as he watched a movie on the giant TV across from them, and Bel had Chiara in his arms as he rested his eyes. The boy was half asleep, but he jerked back into consciousness when he heard the younger call his name.

"Hey, Bel?"

Bel didn't open his eyes; he just mumbled a reply. "What…?"

Takeshi rolled onto his side so that he could look at the other. "If our relationship works out, would you come to Japan and meet my pop?"

Bel tensed at the question; he had hated his parents for as long as he could remember, and all of a sudden, he felt jealous; parents had always been a touchy subject for him because he was a prince and he deserved only the best – but for some reason, peasants had better parents than he did, and that was completely unacceptable. "…Why just your father…? What about your mother…?"

The happy look on Takeshi's face vanished at this question; it was replaced instead by a look of despair, and Bel didn't have to see it to feel the sudden damper on his boyfriend's mood. "…She died…"

"…"

"I remember looking out of the window and…" Takeshi's voice dropped to a whisper. "…I saw them… The drunk driver… They slammed into the side of our car, where my mother was sitting… Our car split at the chasis; we were hit that hard… I remember my pop, trying to calm my mother's screaming, but when she stopped… And my baby sister… They said she hadn't suffered; she had gone right on impact…"

Bel looked down to Chiara at these words. He tightened his hold on her as he remembered all of the other babies that had been taken from him. He closed his eyes as he remembered the ones who had survived the birthing process. He had no idea what had happened to them, or if they were still alive, but he would give everything he had if it meant he could have his other children back in his arms alongside Chiara. He understood the pain Takeshi had suffered in having lost his little sister; he had lost so many of his children, and all he had ever wanted was to be a good parent who could give his kids all of him.

"When I was with Verde…" Bel looked over his shoulder at the younger out of the corner of his eye, "…I… I had a few babies that survived… He took them away before I could even get a chance to look at them… I don't know what happened to them… I hate myself so much… for not going back for them when I got away… But in my gut, I know… They're gone…"

Takeshi couldn't stop himself from reaching out and putting his hand on Bel's shoulder; it was just in his nature. Bel, however, was in a heightened state of anxiety. Pulling away from the touch, he whimpered and braced himself for the abuse he had been forced to endure for so long.

"It's okay." Takeshi pulled his hand back to himself. His voice was as comforting as ever. "You're safe here. It's okay. You're safe."

Bel swallowed thickly as he tried to calm himself down. It took him a few minutes of fidgeting and licking his lips until he was able to whisper, "D-don't touch me…"

Takeshi nodded. "I'm sorry, Bel. I didn't mean to scare you."

"…"

In an effort to change the subject, Takeshi asked, "What about your parents? What are they like?"

"They're dead..." Bel didn't care enough to see the other's reaction; he just continued on as he felt waves of anger rush through him; it had been so long since he had thought about the people who had helped shape him into the vicious little brat he had been before the abduction, he had almost forgotten just how bent out of shape the thought of them made him. "I killed them and my brother..."

Takeshi cocked his head to the side. While Bel expected him to be frightened of these words, the other instead didn't even seem to judge; he didn't recoil in fear or make a disgusted expression; he instead looked as if he were trying to understand why Bel could do such a thing. "You didn't like your parents?"

"No. I only liked them when they were dead." Bel looked down to Chiara. He hoped so much that he would be a good parent to her and that she would never have to suffer the way he had because of his parents; he knew he would kill himself if he ever made Chiara feel the way his own parents had made him feel on a daily basis.

"Did they hurt you?" Takeshi could feel his joy dying down now; how could he be happy when he had heard that someone else had had a hard time?

Bel nodded. He spoke in an almost stoic manner, but Takeshi saw through it; he knew that whatever the boy was thinking about was hurting him deeply. "They physically and mentally abused me. The day I killed them all, it was when I tried to tell my mother that one of the servants had molested me. She didn't care, and neither did my father. Rasiel had overheard, and he waited until I went back to my room. He followed me and questioned me about it. So I told him… I told him that the servant had rubbed my dick and orgasmed me before they fingered me. …He could see how much it was upsetting me, and… And he copied them… My brother gave me my second orgasm…"

Takeshi could see how heartbroken Bel looked, but he didn't know what to say; he had never been in this situation before. "Bel…"

"I tried to tell my mother again, and she and father said I was disgusting for letting it happen and that it was all my fault… My father… suggested that since I was already tainted, they might as well sell my body since I was no good to them anymore… I didn't understand what that was, but I killed them anyway… I got Rasiel last for what he did to me…"

Takeshi closed his eyes as he responded. It was then he knew what to say, not because he was thinking about his words, but because deep inside, he could feel that they were the right things to say. "You're not disgusting, and it's not your fault, Bel. No way. You didn't want it to happen but someone did it to you anyway, and there's definitely no way that whole thing with Verde was any different; none of that makes you disgusting or your fault in any way because that was just so sick on their behalves for doing it to you, and I only wish that I could have been there to get them away from you. You didn't deserve any of that, and just because your parents didn't listen to you, doesn't mean we don't care. We want to help you and Chiara, because that was something you should never have been put through."

"…" Bel looked down to the baby in his arms. "…I'm scared that I'll… be a bad parent to Chiara…"

Takeshi shook his head. "No way, Bel. You're only young, and there's lots for you to learn, but I can see how much you love her, even if you can't feel it yourself; you're doing your best for your child, and that's all that can be asked of you."

"…"

"You're going to be a great parent, Bel. I know it." With that said, Takeshi leant across the bed in order to place a gentle kiss on Bel's lips. "Now get some rest; Chiara will wake up soon for her next bottle."

Bel nodded. He allowed his eyes to slip closed again, but he wasn't tired now; he just wanted to stop thinking about the conversation he and Takeshi had had because he hated how he couldn't seem to stop thinking about his childhood, or picturing Takeshi's own in his head – he just wanted to sleep, and he couldn't.

Thankfully, when he finally did doze off again after an hour, Takeshi was more than happy to take care of Chiara for him as he slept. At least now, Bel understood why the younger was so genuinely happy to look after her.