The couple stopped at the door. They stood there, motionless during a long time before Julia looks up at her husband. She saw the smile she loved so much, as he simply moved one side of his mouth and she liked the feeling of plunging his eyes into hers. This gesture he always did to make amends, to charm. She sketched a shy smile in return. He knew she always creaked when he was playing this game, and this time did not escape the rule.
-Can you let me in William? She asked shyly looking at the floor.
-I give you the honor of spending the first, he replied slowly turning the doorknob so that it opens.
They shared another look and Julia entered without a word. She felt the hand of William in the middle of her back and a pleasant shock pierced her through and through, as the fingertips of her husband left a nice burn on her skin. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, the space of a breath, savoring the soft touch, remembering how she had missed him, how she had missed his tender attentions and gestures of love. She quickly came to her senses and walked away from him, walking in the hallway of their entry. She still saw the material hanging around them, missing windows in the room that was to be their dining room. On the left, a door opened into the living room, she entered without a word, noticing the huge fireplace, moldings on the ceiling, all new flooring but still covered in places by tissue to avoid damage. There was a bed on the floor, a single mattress and sheets, pillow in the center of the room.
-There is still much to do, threw William behind her as she slid her fingers over the dark stone of the fireplace, I sleep here during the work.
-You well advanced, she muttered without watching him, can I go to other parts?
-It's your house Julia.
She looked at him and finally she simply smiled before passing another door on the other side of the room. It led to the kitchen, which was almost complete. Only lacked luster, paint on the walls and a second chair around the table. She looked through the glass door into the garden, then she continued her visit, eager to see more. She passed by the bathroom which were simply a sink and a toilet but the walls were still simple wooden boards that had covered with plaster. There was no bath, only the pipes, the ground was still waiting to covered with tiles that lay in the corner. She saw their bedroom on the other side of the house, the small room that would serve her as her boudoir right next. Nothing was done for the moment, only the roof was in place and William was working to put windows.
-I thought we could put the bed opposite the windows, he said shyly, I know the decor is your task, but this is what we have at the hotel and I like .it .. a lot. The room faces west, we would see the sun when we wake up each morning.
-And every morning I am dazzled, sighed Julia.
-Yes, that's why, William nodded which made her frown, every morning the sun caress your skin and I like to see it reflected in your hair down. When you wake up, you shoot a small grunt of discontent and once you approach me to place your face in my neck. I love those moments.
Julia did not reply. She did not know what to say. She also liked the moments when she woke up in his arms, when the sun dazzled her, was just an excuse to snuggle a little against him. But she would not admit it, not now, not at this time as she tried to appear strong and distant, not now she wanted to let him win back her heart. The heart he had broken a few weeks earlier by abandoning her simply. She did not make things so easy for him, she wanted him to understand. It would not be enough to smile, to make him innuendo, the charm as he did so that she forgets everything, that she forgets the pain, despair, anger and misunderstanding that she had known. It would take much more than his smile and sweet look to her to let her guard down, not this time.
-We are not there yet, she muttered under her breath before moving next to him to leave the room.
He looked her walking away, up her skirt and go through another window which looked into the garden. Julia walked quietly there, enjoyed the cool air caressing the tall grass that surrounded the building. She went to the big tree on the edge of the property and her fingers slipped on small birdhouses. There were a dozen, some were rude and misshapen, but they became more and more beautiful, until the last one she took over.
-Do you spend time by making birdhouses now? She asked, turning to William who was still following her.
-It was to train and see my progress.
Julia just nodded and rested the hut next the others before turning to him and breathe in deeply. He knew, he knew it not looks good, she tried to calm her anger to take control of her emotions. He didn't blame her, but more than anything else at that moment, he wanted to take her in his arms and cover her with kisses, not listen to him reproaches what he did to himself since weeks.
-William, she murmured, I'm glad you're fine, you ... you seem fine. Your sight came back, I see it in your eyes, they are as before, soft and tender and you have that little spark when plunged into mine.
-I can see you, I still have trouble seeing clearly when objects or people are away, but my sight returned.
- However, my heart does not heal so fast, replied the young woman, you ... you left me at night for ... why?
-I needed to be alone to heal.
-We are husband and wife William, I swore to YOUR God that I will take care of you, Until Death Do Us Part. And it was you who separated us. You, who rejected me without reason.
-I gave you my reasons.
-Well I did not accept them, muttered the young woman.
William did not answer. She was angry, worst of all, she was hurt. He had suspected and he had terrible remorse. He did not know himself also why he acted like that with her, why he had rejected her. He had not been the man she had fallen in love. He could not protect her, love her as before, he was afraid to forget her face, her smile, the so special color of her eyes which changed depending on her mood and the lighting of the day. He was afraid of losing her. And not to lose her, he had rejected altogether. Away to resume feet, away to rebuild.
Slowly, William took a step toward Julia to tenderly caress her cheek. He felt her shudder again and she wanted to leave immediately. But he put his other hand on her waist to keep close to him and plunging his eyes into hers. This was the moment, this moment where he has to speak, to reassure her, telling her everything he felt. She was facing him, vulnerable, just as he was himself. The words tumbled in his head, hundreds and hundreds of words and yet they do not crossed the barrier of his lips. He knew he had to speak, he knew deep in his heart and it was like it was screaming inside his chest. But his mouth remained closed, his throat dry. He saw Julia sighed deeply and look down at the ground and breathed deeply. If he did not speak now, he would lose her, forever, and he would die.
-Julia, I love you with all my heart, you are my life. All my life. But I had you far from me, I left to become the man you once loved. Even if you swear to me that you never stopped loving me, I hated myself. I hated myself for having hurt you, not to be able to love you as you deserve, I hated myself for having thought you'd have you. Nothing is ever acquired. I want to continue to woo you, to fall in love with you every day a little more. I left to get away from you, to see more clearly, but there is always this connection between us. I could be at the other end of the earth that would not change anything. You're my first thought in the morning, my last at the night. You're in my nights, in every decision I make. I think of you constantly, I wonder what you're doing, where you are, what you think. I imagine you in our bed, in your office at the morgue, on the sofa reading, I see you walking down the street. I always knew you were there to watch over me, from the first day. I wanted you to make you understand, more than anything I have wanted you to know that I understand everything, but I had not the courage. I was afraid of losing you if you understood that I knew. I hurt you and I was afraid to make you flee once again. And I will never bear to make you flee again. I need you with me, watch over me, I need to talk to you, looking at you, touch you. And I could not look at you, I could not see that special spark in your eyes. I'm sorry, terribly sorry, but I know I made the right choice. I had to get away from you to understand once again how vital you are to me. How much I love you. I needed to rebuild myself, and today, if you still want me, I promise that I would take care of you again, I will love you as I always have, from all of my heart , with all my soul. As anybody on this earth will never love you. Nobody except me Julia. You and me.
She stood there, silent, motionless, catching her breath she had been holding as William had said almost everything in one sitting. He never had been so open, he had never let his heart speak thus. She was touched, deeply. How could she blame him? How could she not forgive him? He had suffered all these years because of her. And yet there are a few weeks he had been the one who had suffered. It was only a man after all, even if she considered him as her hero, William was a man with strengths, weaknesses, his modesty and pride. The man of her life.
Julia pursed her lips for a second before looking down at the floor and in a jump, she curled up in his arms. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. Peace. This is what she was feeling at that moment, peace be to where she should be, with him in her place, home. He was her world, everything she needed. Never in other place she had also felt at peace and alive than when she was in William's arms, when she felt his hands behind her back and his breath above her ear. He tightened his arms around her to hold her even closer. And one word crosses the barrier of her lips.
-Thank you, Julia whispered.
He did not answer, kissing her temple. And they stayed there, entwined in their garden, leaving the night to fall a little more and the stars appear above their heads.
to be continued...