Chapter 151
Ari awoke with a start, sitting up in the bed, her heart pounding. Her eyes quickly scanned the room, breathing faster than usual. Even as her eyes fell on the various items in the room, such as the rug on the floor and the desk in the corner, she knew she wouldn't find anything amiss. It had been a nightmare. That was all. Even as she tried to remember it, the details of the nightmare slipped away, like grains of sand would slip between her fingers. She knew it wasn't a vision, but the more she tried to remember, the faster the memory of it disappeared until she was left with just the discomfort it left behind along with her racing heart.
As her heartbeat slowed back to a normal pace, she opened herself up to the Force, releasing the discomfort. It wasn't difficult with so many calming things around her. The dull roar of the waterfalls seemed quiet and almost soft from this distance. Aside from that, it was quiet. A quiet she was unaccustomed. She was used to being in a base with hundreds of others. Or in a ship where there was always a hum of the systems, at the very least the engines to keep the ship moving and the life support to continue to recycle the air. The times she was on planets, there had been sounds there, such as the traffic on Coruscant or the sounds of the jungle on the moon, Yavin 4. Even on Tatooine there had been the hum of systems, especially security ones at night as well as the sound of the wind. Here, it was just quiet and though it was strange to her ears, it was a refreshing change that aided in calming her.
There was a very slight breeze, so light that she could barely feel it, that came through the open window and archway, carrying with it the clean, refreshing scent of water and the faint, sweet smell of native flora.
Ari pushed back the blanket and went to the window, taking a deep breath, letting the scent wash over her, tension leaving her muscles as she looked out over the water, which she could see from her window.
The moon and stars were bright and helped illuminate a night that would have otherwise been plunged into darkness. They reflected off the smoothly flowing water, making it seem as if the water itself had an aura about it.
Though she loved the water, her eyes went back to the stars. She knew Tatooine was not that far from here and wondered where it was, which of the two stars were the twin suns she had seen every day? She also wondered about the rest of the stars. Which ones had she traveled by? Which ones were suns that provided light to planets she had been to? Which ones were places she still had left to go?
"Even as a child you dreamed of traveling."
Ari whipped around quickly, even as she registered the voice. Familiar, though she hadn't heard it in years. Even as her eyes focused on the speaker, her heart racing, her mind told her it wasn't possible.
Yet, there she was, Katri. Ari's mother.
She looked just as Ari remembered, though she was different. She seemed to shine faintly like a distant star, making all of her features look pale and subdued. On closer inspection, Ari noticed that she was somewhat translucent. Ari could see through her.
She had heard of such things being possible and had even seen it happen on Endor. Yet, she hadn't been this close to the ghostly figures of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Anakin Skywalker. She also not never expected to see her mother again.
"Mom?" she asked after a long pause, finding it hard to breath, let alone speak.
Katri offered her a small smile. "I felt this might be a shock for you. I apologize for that. Yet, I wanted to talk to you. You have grown into a fine young lady, Ari. Your father and I couldn't be more proud of you."
Ari quickly glanced around the room, wondering if she would see her father as well.
"No. It is just me. And only for this one time."
"What do you mean?" Ari asked. "Only for this one time?" She knew that Ben Kenobi had spoken to Luke on a few occasions and shown himself to Luke more than once.
"My training was limited at best and this is not easy. Besides, a lot of time has passed. It is harder when more time passes."
"Why now then?" Ari couldn't resist asking. She took a step closer and though she wanted her hug her mother, she held back, knowing her arms would go right through her form.
"Soon it will be too difficult to visit. As for before…you were following your own path without without needing to speak to me like this."
Ari shook her head. "I needed you."
Katri sighed. "I know. We did attempt to flee the troopers, but we couldn't. I am just so thankful that you were not there."
The mention of what happened was painful and Ari winced. "I might have been able to help."
"Or you more likely would have been killed as well."
Ari knew that was probably true. "That doesn't mean I didn't need you then. Or so many other times."
Katri smiled faintly and motioned for Ari to sit down on the bed again. "Do you think those things happened by chance? I am now part of the Force. So is your father, so is Jett. Everyone else that has perished. We have never truly left you, Ari because the Force has never left you."
"What do you mean? You caused some of this?" Ari asked as she sat down on the bed again, her mother just mere feet from her now. She could reach out and touch her, if she had been more than a specter.
"Wasn't it the Force that helped you in the space above Yavin? Wasn't it the Force that allowed you to fight against opponents that could have destroyed you? Wasn't it also the Force that brought people into your life, like Siri and Taylor?"
"You did that? Then what about all the bad things, like Biggs being killed? Or Han being frozen in carbonite? Or Luke's hand being cut off?" Ari questioned.
Katri shook her head. "Dear Ari, there is bad and good, the dark side of the force and the light side of the force. The Sith and the Jedi. There is a balance that has finally been achieved. A balance that has been offset for many years, even before you were born. The Force is in all living things and while it can be used for good or evil, it is up to each person to decide. The Force clearly had meant for you to overcome obstacles, some caused by the dark side. As part of the Force, we can't control it like a living Jedi can. Yet, we can use it to assist. Such as this visit, or when Luke heard the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"You never came before," she protested.
"I know. I already explained. You had the Force leading you without me having to appear like this. Not just the Force, but yourself. You are so much stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for."
Ari shook her head. "No. I'm not a hero like Luke or Leia or Han. I'm just Luke's friend who got mixed up in all this. I just happen to have some interesting abilities."
Katri shook her head. "Not all heroes get medals. Heroes are normal people who do things for a greater good, no matter the odds. You are a hero. Your friends are too. Even your R4 unit could be considered such."
Ari agreed with that. If not for R4, she was certain she would have fared much worse on various occasions.
There was a momentary pause before she said, "Mom, I miss you."
"I have missed you too. I often wish I could have been there to help you. At least my death wasn't pointless. If your father and I had lived would you have followed Luke? If Jett had survived, would you really risk taking him with you?"
Ari knew the answers to those questions. She might have followed him, but it was also very likely she might have stayed on Tatooine and continued to just dream of things. She couldn't imagine that life now, more years spent under the hot blazing suns.
"I imagine if things had been different, if the war had never started, we would have sent you to the Academy," Katri said, breaking Ari away from her thoughts. "Yet, we couldn't risk too much, even on Tatooine. That is why we did not tell you about it or train you."
"You were a Jedi though…and a handmaiden."
Katri shook her head. "I had a lightsaber, but was not considered strong in the Force. A Jedi Master had taken me to make my lightsaber. He wanted to make me his Padawan, but before that could happen, he died. He had somehow crossed paths with my uncle, who told my parents about being chosen as a Padawan. Yet, I was too old for a new Master after he died and my family wanted me back, instead of letting me be sent to Agricorps. I suppose I was lucky, or I would have been killed along with the others."
"During the purge?"
Katri nodded sadly. "That was when the Dark Side of the Force gained much power, keeping its grasp until the events of Endor."
"Do you know what will happen now?" Ari couldn't help asking.
"The future is always changing, always in motion," Katri answered. "I can't tell you what the future holds. However, I can tell the present."
"What do you mean?" Ari asked, perplexed.
"Your father and I approve of you with Luke."
Ari felt her cheeks blushing. "Yeah?"
Katri nodded. "We always thought it might happen. You two always got along quite well. I felt that when you got older, romance would form. I apparently was correct. So, you have our blessing."
"Even though the Jedi Code forbids attachment?" Ari asked.
"Attachment can be dangerous," Katri admitted. "Yet, I believe it can also make us stronger. You and Luke will be able to rewrite the Code. Perhaps that is necessary to bring Jedi back."
Ari nodded. "Things will be different."
"I have no doubt of that, though I have a feeling that your new way will work well for this new republic."
"Isn't that telling the future?" Ari asked with a small smile.
This made Katri laugh quietly. "No. It is me, knowing that you can do anything you set your mind to. I believe that you and Luke can do many great things for the Jedi, just as I know others will help build the new government. It won't be easy though."
"I am used to hard work," Ari reminded her.
"I know you are," Katri answered. Her gazed traveled to the window and though it was still dark, Ari had a feeling that dawn might soon be approaching. "I will have to be going, Ari."
"No," Ari protested, moving to grab her mother's hands then stopped herself at the last minute. "Please…don't go. You just got here and I have so much to talk to you about." Katri moved one hand and brought it up to Ari cheek's and Ari was almost certain she could feel her mother's touch. "Please."
"Arianna, I wish I could stay," she said. "It is time to let go though. We will be reunited again. I can assure you of that. It just will not be for some time. Just remember to trust the Force, listen to it. That is Jedi advice. As your mother, listen to your heart."
"Don't those sometimes contradict one another?"
Katri paused. "Sometimes it could. You will know what to do if those two things conflict. You will choose the right path."
Ari shook her head slightly. "How do you know that?"
"You are my daughter. I know that you have it inside you." Katri looked at her for another moment, as if studying before speaking again. "I must go, but remember what I have told you. Remember too how much I love you and how much your father loves you and how much Jett loves you. Yet, don't let the past keep you from your future. I might not be able to see the future, but I sense great things waiting for you on the horizon." Even as she said this, Katri started to fade from sight.
"I love you, Mom," Ari said, trying to hold back tears. "And Dad and Jett."
Katri just smiled at this, putting one hand over her heart to let Ari know she felt the same way before disappearing from sight.
Ari couldn't help the fact that she felt tears roll down her cheeks and buried her face in the pillow. She knew the nightmare had been a way to wake her up so she could talk to her mother, but seeing her, then losing her again in that way was painful. Yet, she also was so relieved to talk to her that the guilt she had been dealing with for years was disappearing. There were so many emotions mixed in those tears.
The release of her emotions slowly calmed her and as the tears slowed then stopped, she felt herself feeling exhausted. It didn't take long before she closed her eyes and fell asleep once more.