Hello everybody. Sorry it's been a while since I last updated, but this chapter was really difficult for me to write and I've hit a wall with where I want this story to go. I suppose I'm lacking inspiration. Plus, to be honest, feedback on the last chapter wasn't that great so I'm not sure how you all feel about where this story is headed and it's all a bit confusing and overwhelming really.

This is a shorter chapter than usual (waaay shorter) and you can blame the writer's block for that.

As usual I don't own any of the characters.

Chapter 24: Old Friends

It had been three days since Emily told me about her plans. Katie and Effy were ecstatic and had decided that Katie would carry the baby. Emily was happy because she was doing something nice for her sister, and she was hopeful that I would agree to having a baby with her.

But I couldn't do it. I felt completely betrayed and left out of the loop. I was completely alone. I couldn't go to Effy and talk to her about things because she was too excited about her baby with Katie. I couldn't talk to my mum because my mum would want me to have the baby with Emily. And of course, I couldn't talk to Emily because she was crazy at the moment, what with all the hormones that were coursing through her body. I was the one to inject her with fertility drugs and hormones every night. I couldn't let anybody know how upset I was.

I hated it. I just wanted my Emily back. I didn't want a baby yet. I wanted normalcy and commitment before I could even start to think about having a baby. Emily and I weren't stable enough to have a baby yet and I'd only just got her back. I loved her, but I wasn't ready to have a baby with her.

I had to tell Emily. I knew it was cruel, to lead her on like this. She assumed that I'd decided to have a baby, even though I really hadn't given her an answer yet. She just seemed so happy. But I was sure that our relationship wasn't strong enough to handle this yet. I was almost positive that she would leave me when I told her.

I just wanted my old Emily back. I didn't want any of this baby craziness. I wasn't even sure that Katie and Effy were ready to have a baby, considering they didn't even have a place of their own. Even if Emily and I decided not to have a baby, we'd be stuck helping Effy and Katie raise their baby since we lived with them. I didn't want that either.

I was supposed to be happy. I loved Emily. I loved Effy, and I even loved Katie on occasion.

But if I was so happy, then why did I want to pack my bags and run away?

For the first time in a long time, I longed for the days before I met Emily in Paris. The days where I'd date someone and judge them too harshly and never have to see them again if I didn't want to. I missed my independence.

It was three in the morning. Emily was sound asleep next to me, her back rising and falling as she breathed. She was gorgeous. I knew I loved her deep down, but I was just so mad at her. She failed to talk to me about one of the most important decisions of her life. And now I was stuck.

Well, now I wanted to be un-stuck.

I grabbed my cell phone off the bedside table, and walked out of the apartment. I hit speed dial 3 on my cell phone as I continued to walk down the hallway.

"Hello?"

"I'm coming to yours. I need to talk to someone and I need your help."

The flat was in a not-so-nice area of town, but I'd walked these streets so many times before that I became immune to the hardness of the area. I let myself in the building using my own set of keys, but decided to knock on the door rather than just let myself in the flat.

"Naomikins, what's wrong?" Cook asked as he opened the door and cuddled me into his arms.

"So much, Cookie. Katie and Effy want to have a baby and now Emily wants to have a baby," I said as he pulled me into the flat. It was a one-room flat that wasn't in the best condition, but for a long time this place was my second home. I sat down on the edge of Cook's bed as he poured me a drink.

"So Ems wants a baby and you...don't want one?" Cook asked as he took a sip of his own drink.

I nodded. "I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. She's only been back a month and I love her but I just... I'm so mad at her right now, Cook. Sometimes I look at her and I think a little part of me hates her for doing this to me. We haven't even had sex since she's been back and suddenly she wants a baby. I'm 25, I don't even have a proper steady job. How the fuck can I possibly take care of a baby?" I asked as Cook grabbed me and pulled me into him tightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he lightly kissed my hair. "I should have been there for you."

I nodded against his chest. He hugged me for a long time before he finally suggested that we get some sleep. Even when we lied down, he hugged me against his chest, holding me tightly, telling me he missed me and that he was sorry.

After Effy and Freddie got together, Cook and I were the two abandoned best friends. We grew close...very close. For a long time, Cook was the very first person I went to with any problem, Cook was the person who I'd go out with, and Cook was the person who took care of me while I was sick. And I did the same for him. We'd slept together a few times, and Cook was the only bloke I'd ever been with that I actually felt anything for. But we were both too scared to figure out what it meant if we slept together and eventually we'd both moved on.

After waking up in Cook's flat that morning, I knew exactly what I had to do as soon as I possibly could.

I had to come clean to Emily.

I knew I had a lot of things at stake, but I couldn't pretend a minute longer. It wasn't just about being honest with Emily; I had to be honest with myself. I wasn't ready for a baby and I wasn't going to be ready for that level of commitment for quite some time. I couldn't change that. And neither could Emily, no matter how much I loved her.

Please give me some feedback and let me know what you thought about the chapter in a review - they are much appreciated and really do make writing easier!