Chapter Sixty-Five
Syaoran allowed Fai to lead him back to the train station, on the condition that Fai wouldn't stray behind his back and that he would leave as soon as their hunt was over.
"Why are we stopping here?" Syaoran asked as they pushed their way through the revolving doors. Speculating was all well and good, but a solid answer was better.
Fai's eye drifted over to him, blue and unthreatening. Still, Syaoran tensed, ready to bolt at the first sign of betrayal. If the others were lying in ambush . . . Then what? Are you going to kill them? Run? What can you do? His eyes scanned the shifting masses of people. As daybreak drew nearer, the flow of traffic increased, and identifying any one face became almost impossible. He caught sight of a girl who looked like an older version of Chun-yan, from Koryo, and this world's Arashi. Fai raised a hand to point to a blond man with sapphire eyes. The other Fai, Syaoran thought, a lump forming in his throat.
"Maybe this wasn't a good idea."
"There's no harm in asking," the magician said, giving him a sad smile. It was nothing like the exuberant grin he'd favored the Other with, but it was more than Syaoran was used to seeing. "And isn't it better to find a willing donor instead of hunting someone down?"
He winced, images of Souma's corpse flashing through his mind.
"I'll talk to him," Fai said. "Will you wait here?"
Syaoran nodded, eyes sliding back to the door as he contemplated fleeing. The farther away the magician strayed, the easier it would be to slip away.
But he's right. It's better to take from a willing donor than to kill someone by accident. And asking Seishirou about this would be . . . painful. He remembered his mentor's annoyance at his unwillingness to feed on Souma. I needed blood a lot more then, but even so . . . Asking me to take her blood against her will, while she was screaming about us being monsters . . . There had to be a better way. Like what Fai's doing now. He watched the blond cut through the crowd and speak to his two-eyed double. With all the chaos of a busy train station, he couldn't make out the words, only watch the strange copy of Fai react to the magician's explanations.
The conversation seemed to go rather fast, given the subject matter. Fai beckoned him after just a minute, and Syaoran made his way to the doppelganger.
"Syaoran, this is Yuui," the magician said. The other man started a little at the name, but Fai swept on. "And he's agreed to help us."
Does he know what he's helping with? Syaoran wondered, his gaze sliding over to the human copy of Fai. Yuui. His name is Yuui in this world. Remember that, and maybe you won't end up killing him. He took a hesitant step forward.
"I know just the place we can go for some privacy," Yuui said. "There's a staircase leading up to the roof. No one will notice us up there."
Syaoran looked down. "Thank you."
"You can thank your friend for explaining everything to me beforehand."
He looked up sharply, deciphering Fai's expression for any hint of a trap. For all he knew, the others were waiting on the roof. The magician returned his gaze evenly. "Thank you, Fai-san . . ."
The other man glanced sharply at the magician, but quickly refocused. "I'll lead the way," Yuui said. Despite his issue with names, he had no problem turning his back on either of them. He led them to a stairwell tucked away at the end of a narrow corridor and held the door open for them. Fai went up first, keeping his promise to stay in Syaoran's line of sight. Syaoran followed, knowing that if Fai's human look-alike tried to attack, he'd be able to retaliate or run. They ascended quickly, stepping out onto the windy rooftop. "No one will find us up here, and it's out of sight of all the nearby buildings, so . . ." Yuui turned, giving them both a wary look. "I'm not going to make a habit of this, but if there's no better way . . ." He rolled up his sleeve, leaving the pale skin bare.
Syaoran took a hesitant step forward, glancing up at Fai. The vampire nodded once and stepped back, leaning against the wall where the stairwell rose up above the roof.
It occurred to Syaoran that if Fai was going to attack him, it would be now, while he feeding. Everything else in the world would cease to matter, and all his concentration would be devoted to not killing his prey. If Fai attacked, he'd be vulnerable.
Then again, if he wanted to kill me, he could do it any time. Especially now that I'm starving. Or does he think that because I got the upper hand in one fight that it's not worth the risk? He couldn't have forgiven me for Tokyo . . .
Either way, I'm not going to get another chance to feed on a willing donor. If I don't feed now, I might have to kill someone for my next meal. Souma's face, pale in death, flashed in front of his eyes. Even now, I can't be sure of my self-control. And if I hurt Yuui while I'm feeding off him . . . Well, that's just another reason for Fai to kill me.
Tremors ran down the length of his arms, making his hands shake. Syaoran did his best to steady them, then slowly unsheathed his claws. Yuui flinched and went pale.
"It's okay," Syaoran whispered, looking down at the grotesque growths on his fingertips. "I won't hurt you."
Yuui closed his eyes. "Just do it. Get it over with."
Syaoran glanced at Fai, still leaning against the wall. The magician wasn't looking at him.
Just get it over with, he thought, drawing one of his claws across Yuui's arm. A line of crimson rose up wherever his nails brushed the skin. When the smell hit him a moment later, a rush of desire overtook him. He swallowed thickly and brought his lips to the wound.
The taste exploded across his tongue, even sweeter than the smell. All at once, he was back in the jungle country, drinking the ambrosia that had been Souma's blood. His claws jutted out another inch, and a sudden pain in his gums alerted him to the sharpening of his teeth. Instinct urged him to bite. Syaoran fought the impulse, fought for control.
He felt Yuui's arm stiffen as he drew blood to the surface, and Syaoran realized this was probably not the most comfortable position for a human to be in. Trapped on a rooftop in this frigid weather with no guarantee of survival . . . Humans didn't handle the elements as well as he could. Yuui was probably freezing even as his body was drained of blood.
Gradually, the pit in his stomach began to shrink. His drinking slowed as he struggled to control himself. I should stop, he thought, swallowing another mouthful. I'm strong enough. I must be, to have come this far . . . His mind darted to his time in Fei Wang Reed's magic prison, watching through the Other's eyes. Not once had his clone faltered when searching for Sakura's feathers. I cannot falter either, if I want to defeat him.
Yuui's blood pressure dropped. Panic jolted through both of them at the development. Souma's blood pressure dropped before she died. I have to stop, or I might . . . His lips closed, cutting off the stream of blood. He released the man's arm. Yuui backed away, clutching the flesh above the wound, breathing hard.
In that moment, Syaoran didn't care that Fai could kill him, or that Seishirou might be waking up right now. All that mattered was that his victim wasn't dead.
"It's healing nicely," Fai commented, his voice perfectly level. Syaoran sank to the ground and closed his eyes, trying not to smell the faint scent of iron in the air.
Several minutes passed. Fai tended to his doppelganger, making sure the wound had closed, then sending him downstairs with a bundle of money and orders to eat something. When Yuui was out of sight, Fai walked up to him.
"How are you feeling?"
Like a monster. Like I'm still not in control. "Fine."
The magician took a step in his direction. Syaoran shrunk back. "It's okay," Fai said, lifting one hand in a peacemaking gesture. "Everything's okay."
Okay? I'm a traitor and a monster. I left Sakura to help an enemy. My clone is hunting down her feathers in another world, and if I don't take my medicine, he can slip into my dreams and take control of my body. And Fai-san thinks I'm okay? He chuckled darkly, the first attempt at laughter he'd made in years. "You're wrong. Nothing's okay."
The magician knelt down in front of him, his expression sympathetic. "You don't have to stay with Seishirou."
"Seishirou-san's not the problem."
"Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"
Syaoran stood, relieved when none of the dizziness of an hour ago accompanied the movement. "Why don't I tell you?" he echoed. "It's because you'd never understand."
He walked past the magician and down the stairs. He didn't stop until he reached Adele's apartment.