Refuge

A/N: This came so thick and fast that I just couldn't help but get it all out there. Hopefully I haven't missed too many major errors in the rush. I think Damon and Elena need the release, and so do I. I hope you like it.

"Damon, thanks," Elena said, dropping her bag on the floor in his bedroom. "But I can sleep on the sofa."

"And deal with Stefan's aneurism when he finds out about it? He might act all nonchalant and above it all but he still thinks he's your knight in shining armour and you're a delicate little flower. Plus this may be the only way I ever get you into my bed, without you know, almost dying, hey remember that? Good times!"

Elena's mind flashed back to the time he'd laid on that very bed dying from the werewolf bite. She'd kissed him and told him she loved him, or close enough. "I thought... never want to go through something like that again," she looked at him, willing him to understand. This was her apology for all the things she couldn't apologize for.

"No problem I wasn't really planning on being werewolf kibble again anytime soon. Anyway mi casa es su casa," Damon breezed ahead.

Elena shook her head. "I'm here, can't we talk?"

"I'm done talking with you Elena, it's exhausting, and it's just so human."

"What are we supposed to do then Damon? Pretend we hate each other? How long is that going to last?"

In an instant Damon was in front of her, standing over her, looking down at her, hate radiating off him, "You'd be amazed how long," Damon glowered, "Hate is what I do, Elena, I'm a monster. Let's stop dancing around that."

"Really? You don't feel anything? You sound like Stefan," she spat in disgust.

"I'm nothing like Stefan," Damon returned, leaning closer to her.

"You told me once that when you brought Stefan back you wanted me to remember what I felt while he was gone. Well I remember Damon, I remember everything. Have you forgotten?" Elena stood her ground and Damon's will power shattered and he closed the distance between them with a kiss, it was hard and angry and though she shouldn't have been able to Elena shoved him off her and he let her.

"Damon," she pleaded, she was on the verge of tears and it was the tears that seeing the tears about to spill down her cheeks he couldn't be mad at her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't want to do that, not like that. I just... you make me crazy."

"I don't want to," she whispered back.

"Forgive me," he whispered back, gently cupping her face, and his next apology came in the form of a gentle kiss. Their soft lips meeting to comfort them both. He kissed the tears on her cheeks and her forehead and then he was kissing her lips again and she was kissing him back harder, less timidly, the fight was forgotten and the kiss became longer, more intense and full of desire and longing.

"Wait, Damon. Stop!" Damon drew away suddenly as if burnt by her words, his eyes dark with rage.

"Of course," Damon sneered, rolling his eyes. "What now Elena? Let me save you the breath, this is a mistake, you still love Stefan, blah blah blah."

"That's not what I wanted to say. Damon, I've never said this... it's not easy," she swallowed hard and forced herself to meet his eye. "I want you, but sex means something to me. I never told you this but I regretted how fast I let things get that serious with Stefan, the first time, I thought I loved him, and I did but I didn't even know about Katherine, can you imagine how much that hurt? I'm not 140 years old, sex means something to me."

That was the last thing he was expecting. Damon lifted her chin gently, met her gaze, and softly, seriously explained, "Look, Elena, I know I tomcat around a bit, but it wasn't always like that, I wasn't always like this. It was something I learnt, to survive, to survive being what I am, just like Stefan and his stupid humanity switch. But if I, if we, EVER, it would mean something," he promised her. As if to prove his point he gently placed a hand on either side of her waist and held her close to him, not touching but close.

Whoa, Elena thought, staring up into his eyes. When he stopped ducking and weaving and let the pretenses fall away Damon was probably the most honest person she'd ever met.

"That and it's fun," Damon smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

Elena smirked and rolled her eyes slightly, "I bet. But don't push me okay? Or you'll lose me."

"I'm probably going to lose you anyway, but I knew that all along."

"When you put it like that I'm worse than Katherine."

"No Elena, it doesn't compare. Katherine manipulated us for fun; this has never been fun for you has it?"

"No it hasn't. It's never been a game to me. This wasn't what I wanted or imagined, it just crept up on me. But it's here now, we're here now. At the ball, what I said, about your emotions, it was wrong. I was right to put trying to stop Klaus ahead of your feelings, he's too dangerous not to, but I shouldn't have said it the way I did. I appreciate you Damon, I'm glad you're in my life, despite everything."

"It's okay Elena, you've asked me so many times to stop," he shrugged. "I wish I could. Maybe, I still can…."

"It would be easier if you could but I'm..." She wasn't sure if she could say this, "I'm not sure I want you to."

And that was all he needed, for her to want him, even just a little bit, even if it was just right now for this one moment, for once she was asking for him. Damon's lips crushed against Elena's and his body pressed against her and she pushed back and they were falling again. Falling into one another in a mess of lips and tongues and hunger for more, for comfort.

Minutes passed, hands grasped backs, painfully aware of the clothing between their skin. Even Elena was finding it hard to remember that she wanted to stop. Dragging his mouth away from hers was the hardest things Damon had ever done. "I'll wait Elena, I won't push," he promised in a low murmur, and he pulled her head against him, resting his chin on top of hers, holding her tight against him, enjoying her embrace and fighting with every inch of his being the craving for more of her. This would be enough, if it was given freely, and for once it was, she was actually his.

"Could you sleep with me? I don't mean-"

"Of course. I'll do anything you want me to Elena," he whispered, his voice a low barely discernible murmur, he sounded like he'd been crying though she knew he hadn't, she wondered with a pang of guilt how many tears had been shed before.