Chapter 3
"So, what did you think of your first day?" Christian sat comfortably behind the wheel of his truck, driving with ease through traffic. Rose never would understand the need of a truck in a city like this.
"It was…nice." She wasn't sure how to put her feelings into words.
"Can you elaborate?" Christian laughed. He knew Rose was taken off guard with her new job, but he was optimistic that she would settle in and love it.
Rose thought about it. She did like it so far, but what could she say it was only her first day. After she had went to her desk and started setting everything up like she wanted Dimitri had come out and gave her a folder of papers she was supposed to log into some kind of Excel spreadsheet, and type up something that she hoped was what he wanted.
She had almost fallen asleep multiple times since she hadn't slept well the night before. She would have to constantly pinch herself to stay awake or her head would have been slamming to the desk, which in turn would have left a huge red mark in its wake.
When lunch had come around she realized she was starving, which took her by surprise, considering her circumstance. She hadn't thought about taking anything for lunch with how rushed she was. So when Dimitri had told her he was headed for lunch and told her she could do the same, she had to embarrassingly reply that she didn't think to bring anything and she didn't have her car to go and get anything, but she would be fine.
Dimitri, being the gentleman he was, refused. He told her to lock her computer and follow him to his truck, which she obeyed.
The lunch wasn't as awkward as she had expected it to be. They mainly talked about the few times she had come into the office with Lissa. They had never really said more than a 'hello' and a 'nice to meet you'. She had secretly told Lissa after meeting him the first time that he was a major 'hotie'. But of course that hadn't been brought up at their lunch.
After lunch Rose had fell into a groove working on the paperwork he had given her and was shocked when she found it time to leave and go home with Christian.
"I liked it, it was different than I'm used to, obviously, but I didn't mind it. I think it's going to take some time to get into a routine. When we lived in Oregon, I woke up and had a plan for each day. Now I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants. I just don't know what to do, or what to expect." Rose sighed and looked out the window, feeling a little afraid of what was to come in the future.
Christian grabbed her hand and squeezed gently before letting go and saying, "You will get through this be better for it. I've never known anything to knock you down for long. I know this time is different, but the Rose Hathaway I know will come back stronger than ever."
Rose smiled and wiped a tear away before turning and looking out the window for the remainder of the drive to her new home.
"So?" Lissa was waiting for them when Christian opened the door for them to enter.
"Liss, why don't you let Rose get into the house, take off her shoes, and sit down before you start bombarding her with questions?" Christian laughed at the way Lissa was acting. He knew she loved Rose and just had her best interest in mind, but after the ride home he could tell Rose didn't want any more attention wasted on her.
Christian loved Rose. Not like he loved Lissa, but he looked at her like a sister. She used to argue, and fight with him. She could even give him a run for his money on comebacks or winning arguments. But that was what made Rose who she was, or who she used to be.
"I'm going to let you ladies chat, I'm going to change and get something going for dinner. What would you two like, any requests?"
"Oh, I don't care it's up to Rose." Lissa never was one to make a decision, even if it was just picking something to eat.
"I'm not really hungry, Dimitri made me go with him to lunch and I'm still stuffed from that. But you guys go ahead. I'm going to head to bed early tonight; I didn't realize how exhausting it could be to use your mind." Rose was surprised that she had kept her food down this long. She assumed her mind was too busy trying to comprehend everything else she was throwing at it, instead of dwelling on the aspect of the obvious.
Of course she thought about Mason while at work, but she was surprised when she realized it hadn't been every second of the day, which made her feel slightly guilty but she was relieved at the same time. Maybe going back to work would actually help with the suffering.
Rose couldn't help but see the look that the couple shared between them when she made that comment. She thought that she had been hiding her 'problem' well but it seemed that everyone had just let her think she had been. She understood their worry, but she couldn't do anything about it. She would have to be more careful in the future.
"Are you sure? You didn't eat breakfast and you didn't eat much last night." Lissa let her words die off, and Rose knew that her 'secret' was no longer safe. She knew that one of them had heard her the night before and told the other. No wonder they shared a look between the two of them.
"Yeah, I just wasn't feeling well last night." Rose tried to play it off and of course she failed miserably. She could never lie to Lissa, and she knew Christian could sniff out a lie a mile away. He was like a blood hound, which was what made him a good lawyer.
But instead of calling her out and making the situation worse than it was they both let the topic die with a nod of agreement.
"Well in that case I'll go and find something for you and me, Liss." Christian left, leaving the girls alone, which Rose almost dreaded.
"So, tell me about today." Lissa was purposely avoiding the topic that she really wanted to question Rose on but she knew it would do no good. When Rose was ready to talk about it, she would and not before.
"Not much to tell really. I got there and he told me that basically that I would just be his secretary, and he really didn't have time to babysit me." Rose felt awkward talking to Lissa, and she didn't know why. She used to be able to talk to her best friend about anything and everything. She wanted to be able to tell Lissa that she hadn't thought about Mason near as much as she normally did and that she was thankful for it which of course made her feel guilty. But the words wouldn't form in her throat.
"Did you like it though?" Lissa was hurt by the shortness of Rose's words. She understood her friend's pain but once again there was only so much that Lissa could do to help her.
"Yeah, so far I think I do. I know you've said Dimitri could be, more or less, intimidating, but I didn't expect him to be so hard core.
"I walked in his office and I felt like a child that was going to get in trouble for something, and I hated that feeling. But after he got through telling me what he expected he showed me my desk and I got started. That's about it." Rose wanted to tell Lissa that she enjoyed lunch with Dimitri. That she might have enjoyed it a little too much since that was all she could think about since the ride home with Christian.
She didn't want to think about it, and it made her mad that she couldn't stop thinking about it. So she purposefully thought about Mason instead.
"Yeah he's got that way about him, doesn't he?" Lissa let the subject drop since she couldn't seem to coax any more than what she already had out of Rose.
Rose nodded while getting up, "Well, I'm going to go ahead and go up to bed. I think I'm going to have a more hectic day tomorrow."
Lissa nodded while looking down at her shoes. Rose knew she had hurt her friend, and she hated the distance between them but she just didn't know how to fix it.
The next morning, the alarm clock seemed too blare its displeasure of having to be awake so early which woke Rose from her sleep. She blindly slapped in its direction, hoping to hit the thing and make the awful noise cease.
When she finally got the thing to stop, it took her a few extra seconds to remember exactly why she was getting up so early and where she was. Then it all rushed back; the accident, the job, and the man she called her boss, along with her problem with Lissa.
Rose sighed, scrubbed at her blurry eyes, and pushed her hair out of her face. "I have no interest in continuing, Lord." She hoped someone heard her and took her out of her misery.
She showered, dressed, threw her hair into a bun and made her way to the kitchen. She didn't want to eat, but she knew she didn't have much choice. She hoped that it stayed down like it had the previous day. She still wasn't quite sure what had helped, but she hoped to do a repeat of it today.
"Morning Rose." Lissa was, of course, up and watching Christian's every move while he cooked what Rose assumed to be bacon and eggs.
Rose hated the jealous envy that she felt. She should be able to do the same thing instead of suffer like she was. She still didn't understand what she did to deserve the punishment that she had been handed.
"Morning." Rose answered with more of a bite to her voice than she intended.
"Is Bacon, and eggs ok for breakfast Rose?" Christian spoke up before Lissa could, in attempt to diffuse the tension in the air that had built.
"Yea, that's sounds great." She lied, she really just wanted orange juice but she forced herself to sit and attempt to eat a few bites of eggs and a couple pieces of bacon.
"Are you ready to go once we get done eating?" Christian asked around the food in his mouth.
Rose felt the corner of her lips lift into a small smile at the irony of the picture before her. The almighty lawyer: one of the best in the country with the manners of a child.
"Yeah, that's fine. You know I can drive my car to work, you don't have to chauffeur me around." Rose was still kind of irritated at the fact she was hauled around like a child. She knew her way around, or could figure it out.
"What's the point in you driving when we are going the same place?" Christian had gotten up and was grabbing his brief case so Rose followed suit and started grabbing the few things she had realized she needed the day before, all the while fuming at the logic behind Christians answer.
Christian kissed Lissa goodbye, "I might be late tonight, I'm not sure yet. It will depend on how late Dimitri wants to work."
"Well I won't wait up on you then. You guys will be there until tomorrow morning." Lissa's tone was light, but Rose caught a note of seriousness in it.
"No not this time, he has to go to the jail tomorrow and interview a client and I don't think he has that prepared yet."
Lissa nodded and blew him one last kiss before giving Rose a small hug and a 'have a good day.'
"Rose, you know Lissa is worried sick about you and I am too." Christian's fingers where drumming on the steering wheel while he drove.
"I know I just don't know how to talk to her anymore." Rose seemed to be able to talk to Christian easier than anyone at the moment. Maybe it was because Christian had had such a rough start to life also.
When Christian had been young, his parents and aunt had taken him to the zoo and on their way home they had been hit head on by a drink driver. It had killed his parents instantly, leaving him and his aunt unscathed, save for a scar that ran the length of his aunts jaw.
"Why? It's not like she wasn't there for you after the accident or anything. She's your best friend." Christian face looked flabbergasted.
"I know, and I'm not trying to say she wasn't. I'm just mad. I'm mad at the fact I lived instead. I shouldn't be here; I don't deserve to be here." Rose felt the truth slip out before she could even consider holding it back.
Christian's face changed from concern to anger. "How could you think like that?" Rose could tell he was visibly shaking from emotion. "Do you think it's easy for us to watch you waste away and you not even care? Do you think Mason would want you to live like this?
"You seem to of forgotten, while you wallow in self guilt and pity, we are grieving too. You aren't alone in this, and be damned if I am going to let you make this all about you!"
Christian's jaw clenched, before he continued, noticeably calmer. "Rose we love you. Lissa has been beside herself since the accident. She doesn't sleep right, doesn't eat right, and she cries for you. She feels your pain.
I'm not trying to condemn you, but you need to think of others and not just yourself. I've never sugar coated anything for you and I don't plan on it now. Mason is gone, you lived. Nothing is going to change that. Move on."
Rose sat in stunned silence the rest of the way to the office. She could have cut the tension in the truck with a dull butter knife if she wanted too. She knew what he said to be true, but how did one move on from something like that.
She didn't want Lissa, or Christian for that matter to worry about her, but it wasn't like she was advertising her sorrow. At least she didn't think she had been, she guessed she must have been since everyone saw it so easily.
"Rose, I have left the folders on your desk that need to be finished by two, today." Dimitri hadn't even let Rose make all the way through the hall door before telling her what he had left for her.
"Ok." Rose sighed in defeat, it wasn't that she minded the work, but after her conversation with Christian she just felt worthless.
"I have some clients coming in tonight and I'm going to need some help. Are you ok with staying later some nights?"
Rose was definitely surprised when he asked her instead of telling her she would be staying late to help.
"I-I guess. I won't be able to tonight though since my car is at home." Rose was caught off guard, even though she knew he wasn't truly asking if she minded, it was his subtle way of telling her that she was staying.
"It's fine, I can drop you off on my way home. I'll let Christian know." With that he turned and walked back into his office.
Dimitri had no idea why he offered that, considering it wasn't even close to being on his way, he was the complete opposite way across town.
He walked across the building to Christians' office, wondering what he was thinking. "Christian?" Dimitri asked as he knocked.
"Come in." The response was muffled by the door separating the two friends.
Dimitri swung the door open entered the office and sat in the chair opposite of Christian's.
"What's wrong?" Christian leaned forward, and rested his arms on top of the big walnut desk.
"Nothing, just stressed." The lie rolled easily from his lips. "I'm taking Rose home tonight. I asked her to stay late tonight for the murder case clients. I told her it was on my way." Dimitri scrubbed his hand down his face for what seemed like the hundredth time already that day.
"That's not even close to being on your way." Christian's brows were almost in his hair line, and the question in his voice made Dimitri question his sanity even more. He couldn't seem to get her out of his mind all afternoon yesterday and now he was taking her miles out of his way home.
"You think I don't know that?" He had to bite his tongue to keep the irritation out of his voice.
"Hey, I'm just stating the obvious since you seem to of forgotten it, but that's fine. It will give Lissa and I some time to ourselves."
Dimitri nodded and got up to leave when Christian spoke again. "Dimitri, you know she's damaged right now. I wouldn't even try." The tone of Christian's voice told Dimitri he needed to be careful.
"Not trying anything Christian, just helping out." He tried to believe what he was saying but he didn't for a second.
With that he walked out of the office and back to his own. He didn't know how to get this girl out of his head, he must be sick and twisted if he thought something was ever was going to occur between the two of them considering his past and the elephant in the room, her dead boyfriend.