When Life Gives You Lemons: Eat Them

All the colors
Of the rainbow
Hidden 'neath my skin

Hearts have colors
Don't we all know?
Red runs through our veins

Feel the fire burning up
Inspire me with blood
Of blue and green

I have hope
Inside is not a heart
But a kaleidoscope

~Sara Barielles, Kaleidoscope Heart

Chapter 12-A Rainbow Smile

There is a moment in waking, when the dust of sleep is still clinging to our eyes and consciousness has not yet spread its steely tendrils through our minds. These moments are brief bliss, a cloudy haze in which you are not yet tainted by thoughts of burdens, responsibilities, or needs. It is the simplest feeling of untainted existence, but of course it fades. You need to eat and pee, go to work, or begin your day with some other responsibility. All the worries and weight of the waking world come crashing down as you are forced to trade in your dreams for memories you'd sometimes rather forget.

Like the fact that your smoking hot trainer kissed you, and you responded by slapping him. That certainly wasn't the best realization to wake up to.

Equally disturbing was the movement caught by my peripheral vision that caused me to jump upright in bed and let out a terrified squeak. The frightened exclamation melted into a frustrated sigh when I realized that it was Rosalie squatting at my bedside.

"Wakey wakey sunshine," she prodded in an irritatingly sweet falsetto.

I groaned and rolled over. "Five more minutes."

"Hell no. No more hiding for you, Bella. It's almost noon, get your slap happy ass out of bed. "

Wincing at the 'slap happy' comment, I pulled my covers up to my chin with stubborn commitment. "I'm not hiding."

Rose snorted, and then my covers were roughly pulled away. "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt ya know."

With the protection of my covers gone, I was forced to hide under my pillow. "The river of denial is warm and cozy, and I am going to live here forever, or till someone offers me a less sucky alternative." My voice was muffled by the pillow, but I knew Rose had heard me. My last barrier of defense was wrenched from my hands and then brought down upon my head forcefully.

I rolled over with a glare. "You're gonna assault me with a pillow? That's how you want to start my day?"

She raised her weapon in preparation for another assault. "Sorry sweetie. The rainbow and sunshine wake up call was at eight. Noon is the painful torture fest." She gave me a gentler swat with the pillow. "Rise and shine princess. Make me come back for you again and I'll bring my laptop and make you listen to that godawful Rebecca Black song till you get up."

Suffice it to say I got up after that threat.

I prepared myself a meager lunch, a lean turkey and cheese sandwich on a low carb wrap with a fruit salad and a tall glass of veggie juice.

As I finished my meal and headed to the kitchen, Rosalie passed me, fully dressed and carrying her shoes. I was curious. She had gleaned from me every detail regarding last night's drama and called me stupid in every way humanly possible before I fell asleep, but normally she'd be using the day after to give me a repeat performance.

"And where are you off to?" I asked, curiosity lacing my voice.

"Emmett's coming over. He's gonna take me on some of his favorite trails."

"When did you become such a nature lover?" I teased, raising my eyebrows.

She gave me a mischievous smirk, and turned her attention towards tying her shoelaces. I finished washing my dishes and settled down to watch some TV, intent upon distracting my thoughts from settling on Edward. A mindless, gory horror film was my distraction of choice.

Only a few minutes into the opening murder scene, I heard the crunch of a car coming up the driveway. Rose waved goodbye and ran out to meet Emmett. The car pulled away and I returned my attention to the hack job being done upon a busty redhead. Then there was a knock on the door. Thinking that it was Esme, coming by to check upon us as she was prone to do, I didn't hesitate in answering the door. The hesitation came when I saw auburn locks and green eyes and realized it was Edward standing in front of me. I gaped at him, unable to move past the shock until he opened his devastatingly beautiful mouth and spoke.

"Bella."

At that moment I became painfully aware that I was standing before him with greasy hair, an unwashed face, and a worn Tinkerbell nightgown that showed far too much of my legs and gave me no reason to bother wearing a bra.

In short I looked like ten kinds of shit.

Edward was opening up his mouth to speak again. I didn't catch a word because I was busy slamming the door in his face. I fell forward against the smooth wood, cursing whatever twisted deity kept putting me in these situations.

"Well, I guess I should be glad that you didn't slap me."

Mortification tore through me. "What do you want?" I wailed in horror.

"To talk. You know, it's that thing where people stand near each other without any slamming of doors or slapping of faces and share words."

Right, cause I've done so well with conversation up till now.

"How did you even get here?" I demanded with a little more aggression coloring my tone than I had intended.

"I came with Emmett. Are you gonna let me in or am I going to have to keep shouting at you through a slab of wood? Personally, I think the first option would be more enjoyable for both of us."

Oh hell.

"Can you give me 15 minutes to attempt to look slightly less disgusting than I already do? I know I already scarred you for life with what you saw before I shut the door, but the little piece of dignity that remains in me would appreciate it."

It was gentle, but I thought I heard him sigh.

"First of all, you don't look disgusting, and secondly you didn't scar me for life. But yes, I'll wait."

Breathing a sigh of relief, I raced to the bathroom, trying to rush to clean up and calm my racing mind at the same time. It became apparent almost immediately that I was not going to be good at multitasking right now.

My face was vigorously scrubbed, hair speedily washed over the side of the tub, and then there was a desperate race to find a clean outfit that was nice enough to show I wasn't a lazy grease ball but still gave off a casual vibe.

When I finally made my way back to the front door, it was with the same hesitant creeping steps utilized in horror films when the character was about to open the door to the psychotic masked murderer.

Note to self, take a serious break from horror movies for a while.

Of course it wasn't a twisted serial killer I opened the door to, but pools of green that watered my soul like a desert oasis, streaks of auburn flames that warmed me like a cozy night by the fireplace, and a smile that dazzled me like there was a rainbow being reflected from his upturned mouth to my heart.

All of the above led to a dumbfounded freezing of my limbs, as my mind struggled to rationalize the completely illogical feelings playing bumper cars inside my brain.

"Bella, are you okay?"

I managed to wipe the half drooling 'the lights are on but no one is home' look from my face.

"Yeah, um, I'm fine. What did you want to talk about?"

Edward shuffled his feet and then took a deep breath. "About last night…"

His words trailed off into a black abyss. It hurt to see him look so uncomfortable, as he searched for the right way to say what was on his mind. I was positive that I knew where this conversation was going; therefore it seemed only logical for me to cut to the chase and hopefully make things less awkward for the both of us.

"Look Edward, I get it. You'd just finished, what, four rounds of beer pong with Emmett? Alcohol makes people do things that they regret, I understand. No harm came from it, everything is fine. I don't want there to be any awkwardness between us during training, so I'm more than happy to just pretend that the whole thing didn't happen. So there's nothing for you to worry about, okay?"

The confusion on his face surprised me. I'd been expecting to see relief.

"Bella, that's not…I mean…yeah I'd had one too many beers, but…I don't regret kissing you. I certainly regret the way it happened; if my left cheek remembers correctly you weren't particularly pleased about it, and for that I am sorry. Honestly I'm not quite sure what that was between us last night, or where it came from, but I am certain that I don't regret it."

He looked up at me with questioning eyes, waiting for a reaction to his words.

Utterly talented wordsmith that I am, the best thing my shell shocked brain could come up with was "Oh…"

Yes, my sheer poetic aptitude astounds even me.

I wanted to slap myself silly for lacking the ability to hold a semi-descent conversation with members of the opposite sex.

Edward met my eyes with an uncertain gaze. "So I suppose my question is…do you regret it? If you do…then I'll be one hundred percent on board with your 'let's pretend it never happened' plan. But…if there's a chance that you don't regret what happened, then I'd really like to take you out to dinner tonight."

"Edward, don't say this because you feel sorry for me."

I hadn't intended for those words to come out, and I wasn't quite sure where they'd come from, but I regretted saying them when I saw the hurt in those beautiful green eyes.

"Is that the kind of person you think I am?"

"No! I'm sorry…I didn't mean…Jesus Edward; in case you hadn't noticed I'm not a very skilled conversationalist. I don't think you're that kind of a person, it's just…" I held my hands out before me, an attempt to give him a visual representation of my helplessness in this situation. "I don't know how to answer you. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, and I'm so overwhelmed right now that I literally do not have the mental capacity to even begin to decode where my head is at." I took a breath, and having used up all the energy my brain seemed to possess at that moment, lapsed into a helpless silence.

My rant pretty much screamed 'Beware! I contain immense quantities of emotional baggage. Run away while you can!' If Edward had truly been interested in me, I had probably just nipped that in the bud.

"Okay."

I wasn't prepared for 'Okay', or the understanding and empathy in his voice. It quite literally took my breath away for a moment. He wasn't done yet either.

"Here's where I'm at, Bella. I know that I've been admiring your humor, your kindness, and your soft-spoken and humble nature. I've been in awe of the dedication you've shown in the gym and how much you've grown over a mere two weeks. That's what I know so far, but I'd like to know more. So if it's alright with you, I'd like to take you to dinner. No expectations, no strings attached, just two people getting to know each other better.

No really, where is the Twilight Zone music? This is the part where I wake up and have to face the usual expectations of reality, right?

I blinked once, twice…but I was still there, and he was still looking at me with those questioning eyes that made me melt faster than a snowman in the Sahara. Well as long as I was dreaming…

"All right, dinner sounds nice."

His face lit up, and it took me with it. No one had ever lit up in response to me before, unless I counted Rose…which I didn't. Rose's glows of triumph didn't hold a candle to seeing someone shine because you'd agreed to go to dinner with them. It felt unbelievably nice, warmth that soaked up through your fingers and toes and then spread up to your heart.

"Great," he said, tethering me to him with another brilliant rainbow smile. "Does six sound good to you?"

I smiled shyly in return. "Six is perfect."

"Perfect," he repeated, his eyes still on me as he stepped backwards towards the car, "I'll see you then."

Suddenly I remembered whose car it was that he was heading for. "Isn't that Emmett's jeep? Don't you have to wait for him?"

"No…Yes...that is to say…yes it's Emmett's jeep, but no I don't have to wait for him. Rose agreed to drive him back to his place after their hike."

My hands moved to my hips and I cocked my head at him inquisitively. "Rose agreed? So what was I the only one who didn't know you were coming? Did the three of you have a secret meeting or something?"

I suppressed a smile as the tips of his ears turned pink and he let out a nervous chuckle. "There may have been an early morning phone call during which some details were discussed."

He's so freaking cute that it's almost unbearable. Almost.

"So six o'clock, right?" He had the car door open, but was leaning past it to address me. Little glints of sunlight played across his tousled hair, like skipping stones across water.

"Yep, I'll see you then," I answered.

"It's a date," he called back.

The 'D' word immediately gave me heart palpitations. "Dinner," I corrected, "not a…just dinner, right?"

His mouth twitched into an endearingly sexy crooked smile. "Just dinner. You got it."

With a final wave he got into the car and disappeared down the long gravel driveway. The minute he was out of sight and the crunching of gravel under tires had faded, I went into full blown panic attack mode. What would I say, where would we go, and how did I avoid acting like a complete idiot?

Most importantly of all…what the heck did one wear to a 'Just Dinner'?

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"You should really let me do your hair for the date tonight. Oh…and I hope you're going to wear something a little nicer than what you've got on now, because that is not appropriate date attire."

"Rosalie, I love you, but if you don't stop saying the word 'date' I am going to puke all over your $400 Jimmy Choos," I snapped, as I struggled to get my hair to behave. It was a battle I'd been losing for about 45 minutes now.

Feigning horror at my threat, Rose took a few steps back and perched on my bed. "Don't take your nerves out on my shoes."

"Then stop adding to my nerves," I replied, giving up on letting my hair stay down, and angrily sweeping the strands back into an understated bun. "Besides, it's not a date, it's just dinner."

Rose snorted and stalked towards me, pushing my hands out of the way. My bun was loosened, allowing soft strands to fall forward to frame my face and whisper against the nape of my neck. Then she leaned in to whisper teasingly, "No girl spends that much energy on her hair for 'Just Dinner'.

She had a point, but I certainly wasn't going to acknowledge it.

With Rose's approval, I decided on a soft blue, short-sleeved blouse that hugged my bust and fluttered loosely across my stomach. Paired with black capris and strappy, heel-less sandals, it made me feel casual but pretty at the same time. Dressing, however, turned out to be the easy part. Waiting for Edward to arrive without hyperventilating was where I ran into trouble. Rose had only been able to keep me still enough for a light dusting of a sandy pink eye-shadow and a quick coat of sheer, mauve lip-gloss. After that I'd given in to my urge to pace nervously about the living room.

The kitchen clock mocked me with its measured ticks. Slowly creeping seconds seemed to echo in my head like a doomsday siren. Yet when that knock on the door finally came, I wasn't ready and time had suddenly gone by too fast.

Rose nudged me toward the door with a reassuring squeeze upon my shoulder. I talked myself through the walking thing, grabbed the metal handle, and pulled.

I nearly imploded on the spot when I saw him. He was sporting jeans and a light beige v-neck tee with an unbuttoned grayish green quarter sleeve shirt over top. It was sinful how good those clothes looked on him. For a brief second I fantasized about merely being a button on those clothes. Then I acknowledged how creepy that was and reigned in my craziness.

"You look lovely," he observed, and I sharply reminded my heart that it needed to calm down if we were ever going to make it to the restaurant.

"I like your shirt," I replied; completely tactless as usual.

"Thank you," he said, leading me to his car and opening the passenger door.

Eat your heart out, Cinderella.

Edward settled in his seat, and even with all of the leather of the seats and the gear shift between us, he was alarmingly close. I drank him in like I was a parched desert and he was the first rain in months.

"So, where are we going?" I asked as casually as possible, trying to ignore how much I wanted to reach over and trace his jaw line.

This wasn't the first time I'd been close to him. Physical proximity happened frequently during our workouts. So why was I so discombobulated? Maybe it was because I'd never been alone with him before. There were always people in the gym, and the few times I'd been around him at Emmett's house there had been people around.

Except for that one time in the kitchen…but look how well that turned out.

"I'm taking you to my favorite restaurant. It's this family owned place in Port Angeles; best food in the entire state of Washington.

"I thought eating out was the number one no-no on a diet."

The crooked smile was back, twisting his lips in the most maddening way. "Real weight control is about being realistic. Humans are social creatures. It simply isn't feasible to expect yourself to never go out to eat. So you learn some tips, and you figure out how to decipher which items on the menu are the healthiest options. Now enough about that, you tell me more about yourself?"

I did just that. Edward had this uncanny ability to make you feel comfortable with opening up. It wasn't like he pressured me into speaking, more that he filled me with a burning desire to spill my life story. Oddly enough, it felt so easy that I felt like I wasn't speaking at all, but that he was reading my mind.

His questions lasted all the way to the restaurant. Edward Cullen scoffed in the face of 20 questions. His game was more like 100 questions.

I found that I didn't mind a bit.

The restaurant was small and cozy, decorated with twinkling lights and full of smells that made my mouth water. The hostess addressed Edward by name, flashing him a smile that was both familiar and salacious at the same time. He must have frequented this establishment on a solitary basis, because the woman seemed unpleasantly surprised to see that he was not alone. She led us to a table, and as we sat down, she leaned in towards Edward at an angle which was meant to cut me off.

"Have a wonderful meal, Mr. Cullen, and please, let me know if there's anything I can help you with." The intent behind her words was crystal clear.

The surprising part was that Edward seemed to have missed it all. He was completely oblivious to the batting of the eyelashes and the sultry undertones. It was like he was a dog, completely oblivious to the fact that he was swimming in a tub of kibblesnbits.

I must have had a look of wonder on my face, because he cocked his head inquisitively. "What?"

"You don't realize the effect that you have on people, do you?"

"What effect is that?" he inquired, distracting me with the way his long fingers crept around the edges of his menu.

"You dazzle people," I explained. "That woman would have jumped on the table and done the chicken dance if you asked her to."

That crooked smile played peek-a-boo with me over the top of his menu. "And you?"

The packets of sugar to my right suddenly became very interesting as I blushed crimson under the influence of his attention. "Me what?"

"Do I dazzle you?"

Yep, yes, yeah, uh-huh, oui, si and a big fat yes in every other language too.

"I suppose you could say that. You make me nervous…not that I'm not usually nervous, but you raise the hyperventilation alert from a code blue to a code red. It's your smile, really, that does the most damage. You have a rainbow smile."

A low chuckle escaped his throat, and I ducked my head in embarrassment as he lowered his menu to give me his full attention. "I have a what?"

"A rainbow smile," I responded shyly. "My mom used to tell me that I had one when I was little. Some people…when they smile, they have this brilliance to them that fills you up. It's kind of like the feeling you get when you see a really vibrant rainbow. Stupid I know…"

"No," he shook his head and regarded me warmly, "it's not stupid at all. Nothing you ever say is stupid."

I am not going to make it through this dinner.

"Okay," I said, trying to regain control over my bodily functions, "help me navigate this menu. I don't know where to look. I should probably get a salad, right? That's the healthiest bet."

"Not necessarily. Depending on the dish, some salads have as many calories as a drive-thru meal. Besides…I think you can do better than a salad. Avoid anything that is deep fried or breaded. Think lean meats or fish."

I took in his words and perused the menu carefully. The waitress came and asked us what we'd like to drink. Well…really she asked Edward what he'd like to drink. I kind of hurled my desire for lemon water at her as she left.

"What about this? Herb-crusted tilapia; it's baked fish with seasonings on top to give it flavor."

"Excellent choice, Bella. Now that meal comes originally with mashed potatoes and broccoli. The potatoes aren't too bad, but you can trade them in for another side if you want fewer calories."

I did want fewer calories. I ordered the tilapia with the broccoli and traded in the mashed potatoes for some grilled zucchini. Edward was amused when I told him that out of all the other options, zucchini was one of the only vegetables I actually liked. Edward ordered the grilled salmon, and got the same sides as me.

"So," I prompted, as the waitress left with our orders, "time for you to tell me all about yourself."

He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands. "Ask away."

"Did you always want to be a physical trainer?"

"No, not always," he responded, playing with the condensation on his glass, "my father is an architect and for most of my childhood I dreamed of following in his footsteps. But when I was ten my mother took her life, and things changed."

"Edward, I'm so sorry."

His smile was sad, but still warm. "After that, I decided I wanted to build people up instead of buildings. I wanted to give them health and a sense of self worth. A good workout in the gym is as good for the soul as it is for the body."

"That's really admirable," I said, playing with a packet of sugar. "I wish I was as sure of what I wanted to do with my life."

"I'm sure something will come to you, and whatever you decide to do I know you'll be great."

I blushed and looked down at the table.

The warmth of his hand covered my own, releasing a colony of frantically fluttering butterflies in my stomach.

"Compliments make you nervous." It wasn't a question, but an observation.

I shrugged and pulled my hand back, because his touch was doing confusing things to my thought processes. "Do I look like the kind of girl who gets a lot of compliments?"

He paused for a moment, regarding me with a look that made my skin tingle. "I think you look like the kind of girl that deserves to get a lot of compliments."

How in the hell does one respond to something like that?

Luckily distraction came in the form of our meals. Conversation remained light as we ate. I asked him more questions and he gave me more answers. He was an only child, who hadn't gotten along very well with his father after his mother had passed. At the age of 18 he had left home and found himself in Forks. A chance meeting with Esme had led to him being taken in by the Cullens. He was welcomed into their family as if he had always been there, and they'd helped fund his certification in personal training.

After that the questions stopped and the equal shares of conversation began. We talked about favorite tv shows, movies, music, books, and other hobbies. Our tastes were fairly similar in every category but music. My musical range was short; I tended to only listen to one radio channel. Edward was horrified at my lack of Beatles knowledge and immediately proclaimed that he was going to give me a musical education. I was not opposed to that plan at all.

I was so satisfied with my dinner that I didn't think about dessert once. Normally, that was the whole point of my meal. The food was a means to an end…a dessert end.

Apparently Edward was providing me with all the sweetness I could handle.

The drive back to the house seemed to end my hazy happy vibe. The closer we got, the more I began to worry. What was the proper etiquette for a 'Just Dinner', and was that all that had just occurred? Did I want it to be more than dinner, and if it was…could I handle it?

There was silence as he walked me to the front door. I saw no sign of Rosalie through the sliver of uncovered window, but I knew she was hiding in there somewhere…ready to pounce and demand that I share every juicy detail.

I stood in an awkward silence, unsure of what to say. The best I could manage was "Um…I had a good time. Thanks for…dinner."

"I'm glad. I had a good time as well." He was standing a polite distance away from me, but the way his eyes bore into mine made me feel like he was inches away. "Do you think that this might be something you'd like to do again sometime?"

Truth be told, I'd had more than just a good time. I hadn't made half as many stupid remarks as I feared I would, and if he wanted to…

"Yes. I think I would."

His resulting smile made me feel like I'd just won a million dollars. "Good. Thank you for a lovely evening, Bella. I'll see you on Tuesday?"

"See you then," I whispered.

He headed back down the steps, and I looked down to shuffle through my purse for the house key.

"Oh, and Bella?"

I looked up to see that he had stopped at the side of his car. The curve of his crooked smile was enchantingly highlighted by the moonlight, and it made me feel slightly light headed.

"Yes?"

"You have one too, you know."

Confusion furrowed my brows. Had I missed something? "One what?"

"A rainbow smile," he answered, just loud enough for me to hear it. Then he was in his car, and disappearing down the driveway, flashing me one more dazzling smile before he disappeared out of sight.

When I finally gathered my wits and headed into the house, I wasn't just walking on cloud nine.

I was walking on every damn cloud in the sky.

(AN) I was really nervous about this chapter. I wanted everything to be perfect. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it!