Awakening
Elena had never had a more surreal awakening.
Firstly there was the realisation of Damon's overwhelming closeness that both shocked and excited her. Elena was lying on her back and he had cuddled towards her during the night and was lying half-on-top of her, his arm flung out over her chest, his nose nudging her cheek. Secondly there was the realisation that the lump of his body on her left side was blocking her view of the shattered doorway, thirdly she realised that the doorway shattering had been what had woken her.
All of this happened in in the instant before Damon's eyes flicked open, startled as the stake plunged into his back. He would always wonder why he hadn't woken earlier. Why he hadn't startled as the first sound at the door, had Alaric laced his food with vervain or a tranquiliser or had the comfort of lying in Elena's arms somehow allowed him to drop his guard in an unprecedented manner. Vampires were not supposed to be caught off guard, not by humans, even ones possessed by psycho-killers.
"Oh my God!" Elena cried. "Damon," she shrieked. "ALARIC, NO!" she screamed. But her guardian's eyes were dull and absent. Alaric was not in control.
Elena was sure that she was going to killed as her lover's dead body pinned her to her bed, but then as she tried to move out from under Damon to defend them, all the while still thinking, I can't kill Alaric again, he's not wearing his ring, a fourth party entered the room in a blur and after a desperate scuffle where they both ended up on the floor, Stefan staggered back the vampire hunter laid out on Elena's bedroom floor, his neck snapped a stake still in his hand positioned to cut down the younger Salvatore. Stefan stood over him, panting desperately, his eyes were red and his veins were raised but there was no blood on his mouth.
"Elena, I'm so sorry," Stefan began. "I tried not to, but the stake almost-" He stopped. Stefan couldn't say it. He couldn't tell Elena he'd taken her last parent away to defend his own life.
"Alaric!" Elena screamed, and started howling. "Can't you heal him? Turn him?"
Stefan shook his head, "It's too late. I'm sorry." His face was wrecked with anguish. This was worse than anything he'd done as The Ripper because he hadn't meant for anyone to die. It had all been a horrible accident.
"Damon?" Elena asked, her attention turning to her fallen lover.
"Not dead," Stefan panted, quickly assessing his brother.
"Damon?" Elena repeated desperately, her full attention now on her lover, her grief could wait. Stefan pulled out the steak. Damon groaned and Elena's heart leapt with hope. Together they rolled Damon onto his back.
"Stop - Alaric," Damon rasped, coughing up blood. He was fighting to hold onto consciousness desperate to protect her.
"He's dead. He almost killed Stefan. Don't you die on me too," Elena begged, "You're all I've got left, I need you," she offered him her wrist, "You need to feed."
"I think it missed his heart - just," Stefan reassured Elena. "But you're right, he needs blood. A lot of blood. Mine first," Stefan bit his wrist open and pushed it to Damon's mouth. His brother accepted it gratefully. Damon closed his eyes as he fed, Stefan looked pained but Elena pushed all thoughts of Stefan aside as she kissed Damon's forehead and hand mumbling words of reassurance and encouragement.
"Damon, you'll be okay, I won't lose you too, I can't, not now. Its time Damon, I'm ready, don't leave me now," Elena knew her words were selfish, that he his life meant more than him being another person she loved and didn't want to lose but she wanted him to know it now. He had to know it, she remembered the last time he'd almost died in her hands, after the werewolf bite, and he'd told her he loved her and the best she had been able to give him was that she cared. He had to know that they were beyond that now. He had to know that she was falling in love with him. "I love you Damon, I do, really, stay with me."
"Now you," Stefan gasped, he was pale and when he took his wrist from his brother's hand he took a few steps back, slightly off balance, and lent against the wall.
Damon's eyes opened as Elena moved closer, and she kissed him once, quickly, despite Stefan's blood on his lips before offering her wrist again. Damon's gaze was longing but questioning. "Are you sure?"
"Of everything," Elena answered seriously. "Now, drink," she commanded. He bit as gently as he could in his weakened state, his eyes flared with pleasure at the taste, and a look of hungry contentment settled over him. Elena should have been scared that he wouldn't be able to stop himself in his injured state but at that moment she trusted him absolutely. It helped knowing that Stefan's blood had already begun the healing process, but she also knew with absolute certainty that Damon wouldn't hurt her, whatever the circumstances. Elena bent over him and rested her forehead against his. She closed her eyes and let herself float away, as the blood left her she felt light headed but also warm and content. Safe. Like a baby in her mother's arms. For that long beautiful moment she was safe from the crushing grief over Alaric's death.
After a few moments Damon let go. Damon licked at her wrist and then kissed it. He was slowly recovering control of his body and lifted his own wrist and bit, "just a sip."
Stefan hung behind them, he'd been ready to offer his own wrist but moved away realising that it was no longer his place. It was an odd feeling, being the intruder between them, being in her bedroom and knowing that his brother had been here before him. That Damon had been invited in. that he was the monster who had taken away her guardian. How their roles in her life had reversed.
It hurt, the sense of loss and the guilt over killing Alaric threatened to crush what little was left of Stefan, but he realised something, even before Stefan had left her and gone to Klaus, Damon had meant something to Elena, enough that she had cried and worried over him when she thought he had been about to slip away from them. If Damon had meant something to her when she had been with Stefan that Stefan could still mean something to her if she was with Damon. It was not like Katherine, playing them for fools, using them as her toys. Elena offered friendship to both of them, whomever she was with. Stefan cold only hope that might still be possible after what he had done that morning. If only she could understand how desperate he had been, how close Alaric had come to ending him.
Stefan was faced with a choice, fight for her and lose her, walk away and lose himself in the soulless existence of The Ripper, or stay and be the stronger man, the man that Damon had been. Stay and keep his brother and be a friend to the woman he loved – if that was still possible. Never before had Stefan appreciated the hard road Damon had travelled in the way that he did in that instant, watching the woman he loved feed his brother then accept Damon's blood in return, watching them embrace and kiss and mumble their I love yous.
Damon sat up carefully and pulled Elena against him in a crushing embrace that reassured her that he was whole again. He would need more blood, the craving was more desperate than he was letting on, but he was breathing normally. "I'm sorry Elena, I shouldn't have been asleep. I shouldn't have let my guard down. I shouldn't have let Alaric sleep here. I failed you," Damon's voice was bitter with self-hatred. Nothing hurt him more than to fail her at this, the one thing he should be good at was protecting her.
"No you didn't, neither did Stefan. The Gilbert ring did this to him, to us," tears poured down her cheeks and Elena wanted to get mad, wanted to blame someone, the universe or God, but she knew that if she pushed Damon and Stefan away now she would be more alone than she had ever been in her life and she couldn't lose anyone else. "Stefan, thank you for coming, if you hadn't I'm not sure either of us would have reacted fast enough, we really thought if the door was locked we'd be safe…" she paused awkwardly. "We would have told you about us eventually but you've been doing so much better, we were afraid if we told you…. " she trailed off.
"You don't owe me any explanations' Elena. I've been back awhile and I can only blame Klaus for so much. I'm no good for you Elena," he wanted desperately to add, right now. "It's okay to move on," Stefan couldn't believe he was really saying this. He was week from feeding Damon, from drinking as little blood as possible in the past few weeks, and the world was beginning to spin around him with the intensity of his grief for the relationship he saw slipping further and further away from him, but he was determined and he hung on by his teeth. "I need some blood, Damon will too, and you've given all you can, we'll have to go to the boarding house."
"There's some in the fridge. I almost forgot. I'll get it," Elena offered robotically. She was still leaping from emergency to emergency, not yet ready to let the truth hit home. Soon she would, and then she would be almost catatonic. Her body had grieved before and she knew how paralytic the tears and the pain would be.
"Of course," Stefan replied sardonically after Elena slipped from the room. He couldn't complain she'd never kept blood in the fridge for him, for one he'd been on his special diet, for two Jenna hadn't known about him. Life in the Gilbert house was a universe away from the family he'd first stepped into. Thinking about all of those changes was a comfort, the longer the time seemed since they had been together the less it hurt to accept that she had moved on. Stefan tried to imagine what it would have been like if she'd started dating Matt or Tyler or another normal boy from school. If it had been a normal boy he would have been relieved that she could have a normal life, but he would have worried forever that he couldn't protect her. At least with Damon he knew she was safe, mostly. This morning had been a close call, they'd all underestimated Alaric's possession and if Stefan had been a little less prompt in checking up on them… he shuddered to think. Alaric had been holding a second stake when Stefan caught him off guard and he knew the second was probably intended for Elena. He could have to remind himself of that many times if he was to cope with what he had done to defend himself.
"I owe you one brother. More than one," Damon smiled.
"He was your friend," Stefan observed.
"I'd rather lose a friend than a brother. If it hadn't been you it would have been me. Alaric was already broken, nobody wanted to face that but this was better than watching him go insane. You saved her some pain brother."
Stefan knew that Damon's words were half-truths, classic Damon – oversimplify to make the truth easier to live with, but he nodded gratefully.
"It means a lot. Your, dare I say, blessing?" Damon questioned. "I know that wasn't easy for you."
"I don't deserve easy, but she does. I won't make a fuss."
"I wouldn't blame you for putting up a fight Stefan; you don't have to bow out gracefully like some sort of castrated lamb. I'm not afraid of the competition.
Stefan raised an eyebrow.
"Okay a little. But you can't give her to me like an old pair of your socks."
"I'm not. She chose. If she ever changes her mind, if you ever hurt her, I'll be around."
"So you should be brother," Damon smiled.
"But we both know this changes things, she won't look at me the same way again."
"Maybe not right now," Damon conceded. "But anyone can forgive its Elena. I've done a few not so wonderful things myself."
This was the easiest it was going to get between them, but compared to how it had been, this was rainbows and sunflowers.
"Here," Elena offered, passing Stefan two blood bags, and Damon a third and fourth. "That's all I've got. I think Caroline's been snacking," Elena offered dryly. She sensed she'd walked into a pretty heavy situation, but the lack of any signs of violence was promising. "So, what are we going to do about Alaric? Do I call Sherriff Forbes?"
"I'll sort it out. His family will never know he was the murderer. I'll make it look like he was a hero, like he died trying to stop the real killer," Stefan offered. It sounded oddly like the sort of plan that Damon might have device. "I owe his family that much at least."
"Good," Elena nodded numbly. She knew she should ask more questions but she couldn't. She couldn't look at the body. She knew it was wrong to be relieved that she wouldn't have to give a statement or answer questions. It felt like it was taking all of her energy just to keep breathing. "You'll be careful, I mean gentle, when you move the body," she looked vacant but her tone was full of emotion, she sounded scared for him, even in death.
"He won't suffer anymore Elena, I won't do anything to hurt him, and people will know he was a hero. That he was a good man."
Elena nodded, "Thankyou Stefan."
Damon drew her to him and hugged her against him and nodded to his brother. Stefan picked Alaric up in his arms and carried him downstairs. He wished it wasn't morning and people weren't going about their day but with two bags of human blood in his system he was strong enough to move so quickly that no one would see him putting the history teacher into his car and driving away.
"Let's get you into bed," Damon offered gently.
"It's morning, I have school."
"You're calling in sick, get back into bed."
"He died here Damon. In my room," horror filled her eyes, it transformed her beautiful face into something both ugly and beautifully, she cared so much, loved so deeply, but seeing her in this much pain made him feel things he hadn't known he could still feel. Damon was not built for standing by passively, he needed to do something.
"Elena, please, let me help," Damon pleaded and he gently untied the vervain bracelet she had been wearing since her necklace had been lost to her again. Damon guessed it had been long enough since she'd drunken any.
"Damon no," Elena protested weakly. "I can't forget."
"You won't, I'm just going to help you sleep. Your mind and your body have been through a lot. It's faster than compelling a Dr to give me some tranquilisers."
Elena nodded slightly.
"You will relax and fall into a deep restful sleep, you're safe, and you're not alone. I'm here with you," Damon whispered as he compelled her. He took no pleasure in having control over her, a fact which surprised him, but he was grateful he could do some small thing to ease her pain.
For crawled the bed next to her and cuddled up to her, stroking her hair and whispering to her as she slept, he was exhausted but he couldn't sleep knowing that the last time he had it had almost cost both of them their lives. He would not be so careless again. He must protect her now. She was his. His heart sored as he remembered her words, the confirmation, and the beautiful kisses the night before. There was a small hole where his friend Alaric had been, but already he felt it healing as fast as the wound from the stake. He was after all a vampire, he had seen so many humans come and go; only one really touched him, really mattered. As long as he could keep her safe. As long as she didn't wake up and decide that it was his fault, or Stefan's, or that she'd had enough of both of them. Despite these thoughts he gently tied her vervain bracelet back around her wrist. She trusted him now and he would only break that trust if it was the only way to save her life.