Chapter 20: Secret's Out

Becky collapsed on her bed Wednesday in the early evening, sore from her match the night before, and exhausted from the events she had to take care before returning home. Finn poked his head in from her doorway, smiling.

"It feels so good to be home," she curled up against her pillow, inhaling deeply. The scent of his shampoo was still lingering.

"Miss me?"

"Miss you? No, I missed the bed I haven't seen in two weeks."

"Ouch." He sat down at the edge of the bed, fiddling slightly with the wrist brace. "Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, I grabbed something at the airport."

"Aiight, there's some leftovers if you get hungry. Made 'em all by myself too."

"Wow and didn't burn the place down? Very impressive."

"Yeah, thanks." He rolled his eyes. "Well, gotta admit, I've missed you."

"Have you?" She pulled one leg up to her chest and leaned forward.

He nodded, "you really made being on the shelf bearable."

"I thought I made it harder."

"I didn't mean that," he looked over, embarrassed, "you made it so much better."

"You'll be back at it soon. This isn't forever."

"It feels like forever."

"I know," she scooted closer to him, placing a hand on his knee, "but I've never in my life seen you get knocked down and not get back up."

He chuckled, dismissing the idea, but she kept on it.

"No, Finn, don't toss that to the side. I've never known anyone who has worked harder, or been more focused, or more dedicated. Or for that matter, anyone who carries themselves and treats people the way you do. You're gonna come back from this little bump in the road and you are gonna be champion again because when you set a goal, there's nothin' and no one that can stop you."

"What'd I ever do to make ya believe in me so much, huh?"

"Everything," she said earnestly. "Everything you do makes me believe in you."

"Becky, you are," he glanced up at her with a twinkle in his eye and that thickness in his voice. "So in love with him, aren't you?"

"I hate it when you transition that quickly."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't give me a great hold on 'im. But am I wrong?"

She paused for a moment, and then said, "no, you're not wrong."

"He's an idiot." The Demon shook his head and leaned into a soft kiss against her lips.

For a moment she paused, thinking about what Sasha had said about ending it. Thinking about letting Sami walk away because he knew he'd come second to Finn. Thinking about how much it hurt to hear him tell her how much she meant to him knowing he'd never cross that line. Thinking about how many lies she told him over the past months to keep this up.

For a moment, she almost stopped him. But then he was pushing her down gently, the fingertips of his right hand playing a strand of her hair, and his left teasing the hem of her t-shirt. She surrendered into the kiss.

Maybe it was being away from her, or the dress for the wedding, or the revelation of how much she wanted to be with Finn, but the Demon was particularly passionate. He still worked fast, but seemed to be extra attentive. She'd missed him so much since that Saturday night, cursing what she'd come to expect those last two weeks. It was harder now to be without him. Normal couples would send kissy faces back and forth, but that wasn't an option. Like usual, he got her gasping for air and tightly holding onto the sheets not long after they'd started. He chuckled, kissed the top of her head and began to lift himself up.

"Wait, Finn." Somehow, it wasn't enough this time. "Can you keep going?"

"Well, 'o course I can love, but," he said, half breathlessly, "I don't know if I should."

She pulled him down towards her. "Please? I really need you."

"Aiight…" he said, looking nervous.

She closed her eyes and went with the rhythm. The smell of his shampoo, the little dimples on his back, his calloused hands running all over her. She took them all in, holding onto that feeling for when he would slip out of her bed and back to reality. For when she couldn't have him. Her hands found their way into his hair and he shuddered. He was unraveling quickly, but she didn't mind, more focused on the ride than anything else. Finn gasped and started to move a little slower, and she meet it with a moan into his ear.

"Becky," he whispered. She loved it when he said her name.

"Finn," she said breathlessly.

"No, Becky. What the hell is goin' on?"

Her eyes snapped open to find that Finn's blue eyes were not on fire like before, but looking down at her, half mortified and half furious. That wasn't The Demon.

"What. The hell. Is goin' on here?"

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"Oh my god." Her eyes were wide and she could feel the blood rushing up to her face as he scrambled off of her. She pulled the sheets up to her chest as he stumbled out of the bed and looked around frantically.

"Where are my pants?" he grumbled to himself and refused to look up at her when she pointed them out on the floor near his left foot. He clumsily pulled up a pair of striped boxers and then searched for his t-shirt and sweatpants. Finally, he sat down on the edge of her bed and buried his head in his hands.

"Finn I…"

"Okay, first of all," his eyes were hot when he met her gaze, "you need to put on clothes before we're having this conversation. I'll be in the living room," he grumbled.

He stormed out and tears were welling up behind her eyes as she pulled on a tank top and shorts. You knew this could happen all along. They'd been careful, like two married people in a heated affair.

"Finn," she called as she entered the living room. He was hunched against the counter of the kitchen, his face was bright red and his brow scrunched. "I…" she began, but stopped. What could she say?

"That was The Demon wasn't it?" His voice was tempered, but he was clearly restraining himself.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"You were having sex with The Demon."

"Yes."

"The Demon that lives inside me, an',"

"Yes, Finn, yes. Yes to all of it. Okay? I realize how bad this looks."

"How bad this looks Bex?" His eyes shot up at her, "I jus' woke up in bed with you, my best friend, someone who was supposed to look out for me when I get like that."

"I'm not tryin' to downplay it."

"Was this the first time?" He looked at her the way he always did when he asked a question he knew the answer to.

She didn't respond, just looked away trying to blink out the tears.

"Fuck. How long Becky?" He kept his eyes steadily on her, but he was losing the temperament in his voice. "How long have you been sneakin' around with The Demon behind my back?"

"It was, uh," she took a deep breath, "it was SummerSlam."

"SummerSlam? As in August?" his eyes were flailing up now. "You've been screwin' The Demon for three months?"

"You came on to me, okay?" Now she was getting angry too, if he could just let her a word in, she could just apologize and they could just move on. But Finn always needed every last bit of information.

"I came on to you? No, I didn't do anything. That was The Demon."

"Why are you so convinced he's not a part of you?" She took a step towards him.

"Are ya really gonna fight me on this? This. This right here."

"Well how 'bout it?" her heart was racing, but what was done was done, she couldn't back down now. "You really think he's some separate thing from you? That he just does whatever he wants with your body from time to time? That he's not you?"

"It is not me."

"Yes, he is."

"The hell do you know? I've been living with the damned thing my entire life, you think because you've gotten cozy with it under the covers for a few months you know it better?"

"He actually talks to me. Yes, he. An' has he ever done anything you didn't want to do? Deep down there? In those animal instincts?"

"I-" he stopped and looked at her, she'd never seen him this angry. "I didn't agree to this, Rebecca."

That sting ran right through her, he saved her full name for when he was particularly pissed at her. The worst part was that he was right.

"I'm sorry," her voice shook. "But…"

"But? How is there a but? You go and fuck The Demon for three months, you lie to me every day for three months, and now you're going to try to defend it? Please, go ahead, I would love to hear what ya come up with."

"I thought you hung the moon!" she spewed at him, tears streaming down her face, "for fifteen years! I've spent half my life waiting for you to just admit that there's somethin' between us. Waiting for you to decide you're gonna love me today. I would've waited another 30, or done anythin' you asked. I've been completely yours since the moment we met, an' you play with me."

"No, I don't,"

"Yes. Fergal." His face scrunched up, he didn't like her using his real name any more than she did. "Yes, you do. All the bloody time! You flirt and you tease and then you pull back the second you get too close. Why? Is it fun, watching me pine over ya?"

"That doesn't change-"

"I know it doesn't change that what I did was fucked up, but I think you know full well that I would've done anythin' to be with you. An' The Demon is you Finn. He's your desires."

"Fine, but it's not my actions. I wouldn't have done that because it's a terrible idea."

"Oh a terrible idea, here we go again," she scoffed and leaned against the counter.

"Don' start, you know what I think."

"Yeah, well The Demon seemed to think otherwise. A lot."

His eyes shot up at her again, there was so much heat in them, and she recognized the look.

"Spare me the details." His voice was dripping with poison now.

"Are you jealous?"

"Don' be ridiculous, o' course I'm not jealous."

"Oh, 'cause you look a little bit jealous right now." She took another step towards him, closing the gap between them. "God Finn, why is it so hard for you to admit that you want me? Why is it The Demon is the only one who tells me the truth 'bout it? Ya know, if you would just quit bein' a coward about this…"

The word was out of her mouth before she knew it, she instantly regretted it, and a new anger came over his face. In an instant, his hands were on her hips, pushing her against the cabinets. She gasped as his face came within an inch of hers.

"Is it the truth you're after?" his voice was low and his eyes were steady on her.

She tried to keep her eyes on him, stare him down like she always did. But his hands were flirting with the bare skin between her waistband and the tank top's bunched edge, and it was making her knees weak. When the words wouldn't come, she settled for a nod.

"Fine." He pushed against her a little harder. As she gasped at the contact of their skin, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and whispered into it.

"Yes, all of that desire comes from me. You don' need to tell me the things he did for you, I know exactly what they are. I've thought about 'em plenty."

That made her shudder, and he smirked a little bit, but there was no demon in his eyes. This was something completely different.

"An' anythin' he did, he got from me. I'm the one who knows ya, Bex. The one who knows how ticklish the top o' your ear is."

She felt the tip of his tongue running along it, and a moan escaped her mouth as her knees buckled from the touch. He held her tightly with his left hand and chuckled.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he locked his eyes on her. "An' I'm the one who's always catching you lookin'." He licked his lips, grinning and raising an eyebrow. She felt her face flush hard,

"Oh, if you think you're sneaky, let me tell ya how many times I've seen you undress me with your eyes."

His words were making her stomach do backflips and sending shivers down her spine.

"Oh don't be embarrassed, I'm guilty of it too," he was grazing his lips along hers, just barely touching. She almost tried to lean in and really kiss him, but he kept her at bay.

"In fact, I'm also the one who knows just how fantastic you'd look," his fingertips followed the edge of her neckline, making her gasp. " 'Cause you used to wear those tiny swimsuits down in Florida. An' if it was to get my attention, boy did it ever work."

She was struggling to maintain her composure. Every touch made her moan and shiver as he ran his hands over her exposed skin. His smiling lips were hovering just above hers.

"Finn…" she said, half a whimper.

"What d'ya want?" he taunted, "ha, as if I didn't know already."

His hand was around her wrist, guiding it under his shirt, up and down his chest and abs.

"Probably a little of that," he raised an eyebrow as she blushed and closed her eyes, "yeah, I thought that might be what you'd like, considerin' how often you drool over it. "

His hands were running up and down her sides, and she gasped when he brushed against her chest. She grabbed onto his waist tightly.

"Oh is that what ya want? Or maybe…" he pushed up against her, throbbing. She didn't even attempt to hold back the moans, "Like that?"

"Oh god…"

Finn's hands all over her, his lips on her skin, the feeling of him wanting her, it was overwhelming. He slid his fingertips up and down the front of her thin tank top, pushing up against her, and kissing her neck until she was breathing heavy and in a daze.

"Is this what ya want Bex?" He shook his head as she moaned softly, and repeated, "Is this what ya want? C'mon, say it."

Breathily, she managed, "I want you, Finn, I want you."

He stopped suddenly. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, waiting for him to pull her into his room. Instead, he tilted his hips away from her, pushing her hands out from under his shirt, and locked eyes with her.

"Never call me a coward again," he growled, turning his back on her and walking out of the kitchen.

She heard the clink of him grabbing his keys before the front door slammed shut behind him. Breathlessly, she sunk to the floor and ran her hands through her hair. Fuck.