Chapter 5

Author's Notes: Song credit goes to My Chemical Romance's "Ghost of You."

October 9, 2007

And all the things that you never, ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

"What's up Doc? What's my diagnosis? Is it cancer? Is there a cure?" Aussie Kaplan persisted, swinging her black-and-raspberry-red braids from side to side as if she were trying to portray Punky Broodster. According to her chart, she was sixteen years old and attended Blackmore High School. Her eyes were a translucent green and there was a faint memory of a dimple in each of her cheeks. For now, she looked flushed, folding into herself as she awaited Robin's news. If she had been standing, she would still be a good six inches shorter than Robin. This fact almost made Robin want to call up everyone who had ever called her short and shove it in their face. Patrick had called her travel size much to her displeasure. When they would get into arguments, he would simply pick her up and kiss her, winning a reproachful look even as her body melted into his. He had made the mistake of holding a chart above her head, teasing her, to which she had responded by kneeing him in the crotch. He hadn't done it again.

"Are you always this optimistic?" Robin half-mocked, opening her chart to give herself something to focus on. "You have mononucleosis." She stated, sitting next to Aussie so that she could answer any questions the girl might have.

"Mono? From what? Oh, that asshole! He gave me mono? Are you sure?" Each time she finished a sentence, her voice rose. It was as if Robin had just presented her with a life-threatening disease.

"It's called the 'kissing disease,' but you can get it from simply sharing a straw with someone." Robin informed Aussie, even as the girl slipped into her alter state of consciousness. "It'll only last about three weeks and then you're in the clear. During that time, I'm afraid your symptoms are only going to get worse, sometimes confining you to bed if you work your body too hard."

"Well that explains my exhaustion and my sore throat. Can you give me anything for it?" Aussie asked, her eyes widening in hope. It was a simple disease, nothing like what she could be facing. Robin swallowed back her unjustifiable jealousy. She wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere begging to die. She was blessed to be carrying the baby that she had always wanted, knowing that it had been conceived in love.

"For the sore throat, I'd suggest chewing gum or drinking tea. You mentioned becoming feverish and, I have to warn you; just because your fever breaks, that doesn't mean I want you trotting off to school thinking you're no longer sick." Robin warned, playing with Stone's ring as it rested on her right index finger.

"Yes ma'am. And, for the record, 'trotting' isn't considered acceptable language anymore unless you want to get beat up." Aussie told Robin, raising her chin as she divulged her facts as if they were a secret.

"I'll try and remember that." Robin smiled, reaching for the teenager's left hand and helping her to her feet. "Are your parents here?" Robin hadn't seen anyone bring the girl in and, as she stuck her head out the door, she didn't see anyone waiting to escort the girl home.

"No. They don't know and I don't want them to. I'll call my aunt and stay with her for a few weeks until I'm better. I don't want to inconvenience anyone." Aussie replied, slinging her cream colored purse over her shoulder as she made her way toward the door.

"All right. I won't tell them, as it is against the law for me to do so, but I hope you will." Robin called after her.

Aussie paused before she could successfully make it to the hallway. "It's just mono, like you said. It's not like I have AIDS or anything." With a quick smile, Aussie turned to leave and Robin made no move to stop her. She felt numb all over. If it wasn't for a swift kick from her unborn child, she might have stayed in that spot for hours, staring at nothing in particular. The world was in full tilt, as it usually was due to her pregnancy and the after effects of her new medications; she barely made it to the bathroom before emptying her system.

*****

"I'm not responsible for who gets it." Patrick barked into the phone, attracting the attention of passersby and nurses. It was nothing new. Patrick shook his hand and swiped his hand over the counter, knocking a stack of charts onto the ground. Epiphany nodded her head, motioning toward Maxie and Georgie Jones, their newest volunteers, and then smacked Patrick in the back of the head for acting like an adolescent.

"Ow." Patrick whined, rubbing his throbbing head. "What? The furniture? She wanted it so badly…send it to her new place. I have no use for anything. She can have it all."

"I didn't know Dr. Drake was getting a divorce." Maxie whispered to Georgie.

"Don't be stupid. He's not even married. He's talking about Robin. Remember her? Our cousin." Georgie supplied, receiving an eye roll from her older sister.

"You don't have to treat me like an idiot." Maxie shot back, planting her hands on her hips.

"You don't have to make it so easy. I didn't know they'd broken up. I wonder what's going on." Georgie mused, tilting her head to one side, mimicking their family dog.

"Since when are you interested in other people's lives? I mean, I thought you hated to pry." Maxie pointed out, flipping her cropped blond hair out of her face as if it was there just to annoy her.

"I'm not going to pry. Have you heard from Robin lately?" Georgie inquired when they were out of earshot. She handed her sister four quarters for the vending machine directly in front of them and Maxie selected a soda and a candy bar.

"When is that new? She never calls us anymore. We aren't neglecting her; she's clearly avoiding us." Maxie decided without hesitation.

"Do you say these things just to hear yourself talk? Really, Maxie." Georgie patronized, unwrapping her candy bar as Maxie took a long drink of her Diet Pepsi.

Epiphany waited until Patrick was off the phone before giving his head another smack. "Would you stop doing that?" He snapped, jamming his hand into his hair.

"If you're having a personal spat with Dr. Scorpio, handle it on your own time. This is a hospital. You have breaks for a reason. Take them. Don't make the rest of the staff suffer because Robin left you." Epiphany demanded, nodding her head in the opposite direction so that Patrick could take his pouting elsewhere. He stormed past her.

While he was more hurt by Robin's decision than angry, it was easier to just stay mad. The emotions were straightforward and manageable. If you were angry, you had a target. It wasn't like being hurt where you couldn't distinguish one emotion from the other, never knowing how to dull the pain. Staying angry kept him numb and that was what he wanted. If he was numb, he wouldn't have to think about waking up to a hellish hangover and the sight of Robin's key on the side table. There hadn't even been a note. He had checked their room and all of her belongings were gone. When he called her later that day, after his hangover subsided and concentration didn't make his head throb, he finally reached her on her cell. She explained, in a short and emotionless tone, that he didn't have to worry, that she and their baby were going to be just fine. If he wanted a part in the its, he had more than enough leeway. She mentioned nothing of their personal relationship as if she had suffered through it in order to get her baby.

He would wake up in the middle of the night, sweat clinging to his eyelashes. It would drip down his face and down the back of his neck so that it soaked into his shirt. He would instinctively turn to where Robin had been, where she should have been, where she had seemingly always been. He would have to shut off his brain and fall into oblivion once more when he saw that she wasn't there anymore. He struggled desperately for mindless dreams that promised no purpose or meaning.

Patrick wouldn't let himself think about what would happen in four months. He had gotten a call from Kelly Lee, Robin's obstetrician, and she informed him of the visit which would include a sonogram of the baby. At least Robin hadn't cut him off completely. As far as they were concerned, she was done, not even waiting to hear his reasons for going out and getting drunk with Pete, automatically assuming that he had hoped to crush everything that they had. She hadn't given him a second thought or an ounce of consideration. Maybe he was a tad bit angry.

Several times he had called his dad only to hang up when the older man answered. Just his voice offered comfort, but Patrick was too ashamed to tell his father how badly he had screwed things up with Robin. Noah Drake had immediately taken a liking to Robin and had warned Patrick that, if he wasn't careful, she would be gone. It wasn't until Patrick sat here, on a bench in the locker room, having grown tired of punching the defenseless lockers, that he came to the realization that he hadn't ever considered himself capable of losing Robin to anything short of death.

He didn't continue on that particular train of thought, not wanting to deal with this here, not wanting to face the facts that she had decided to stop wasting her time with him, that she had grown wary of his intentions toward her. How had she expected him to react? She had mentioned motherhood to Patrick months ago, a few weeks after he got stuck with an infected needle, and he had meant what he said about her being an incredible mother. She had put their child before her and it wasn't even born yet, had cut ties with him instead of dragging all three of them into a bitter, screaming fight that would only add stress to her pregnancy. The cards were already stacked against her, her HIV status hopeful but still a nagging problem that she had no choice but to deal with. Patrick had gotten a list of all of the medications Robin was on from Kelly not understanding why he had requested it. Maybe it was his way of staying in her life…as if sharing a baby with her wasn't enough.

He had brought this on himself though, hadn't he? He had gone with Pete that night instead of staying home with Robin and reading to the baby or doing whatever it was that expectant parents did. It had been important that she trusted him and, for a little while, he had come to believe that she did. Pete had convinced him to go out drinking; he had needed a break from his life for a few hours. He hadn't intended to get anywhere near drunk, hadn't wanted to give Robin the reason she needed to leave him, the excuse that she had just been waiting for.