disclaimer: boo I dont own fma...but I do own the posterxD
Title: The Chimera
Chapter Two: Teasing
Rating: K+
Type: humor, yaoi, adventure, romance
Pairings: Roy/Ed
Summary: Ed and Roy manage to narrowly escape the wrath of Lt. Hawkeye's wrath
The next morning Roy woke up at 5 to 11. He blinked sleepily then yawned, stretching his arms and stretching. "Oh it's only 5 to 11 I'm sure that I have 5 more minutes before- wait 10:55! Riza's going to kill me!" Roy jumped out of bed as if he'd been lit under with a firecracker and ran to the room where Edward was asleep.
"FULLLMETALL! WAKE UP!" Roy pounded on the door frantically. "Wake up! We're late!"
Edward squeezed his eyes in irritation and clamped the pillow to his ears in order to block out the stupid older man's voice. "Go away colonel bastard!"
"It's almost 11:00!" that woke him up. Suddenly the door flew open. "Ah fuck! Riza's going to kill us!"
Roy rolled his eyes. "no duh genius!"
"Shut up! this is all your fault! If you hadn't kept us up all night with your chit-chat-"
Roy rnarrowed his eyes, 'it so was not' he thought, opening his mouth to retort back but was cut off by Al.
Will you two just shut up!" yelled the younger Elric. "Instead of wasting time and blaming each other who's fault it is that you slept in, use that time to GET READY!"
With the help of Al's ranting and raving the two alchemist were out the door in half an hour.
"And stay out of trouble" Al called as they pulled away in Roy's car. Ed rolled his eyes. "Yea cause I totally go looking for it."
Meanwhile back at the Central HQ
Riza frowned and looked up at the clock for what she felt was the hundredth time. "i wonder what is taking the Colonel so long? He's unusually late this morning."
Havoc snickered. "He probably slept in." "yea probably had a late night" added in Breda. riza rolled her eyes, "I'm sure he's not idiot enough to do that, the Colonel knows full ell what the consequences will be if he ever pulls that again."
The rest of the male crew shuddered. 'oh they knew all right."...
The Two alchemists made finally made it to the headquarters. Roy frowned at the door wondering how he was going to sneek into his office without having to confront the scary blonde female lieutenant, who no doubt was probably waiting for him behind the door with her gun cocked. "Ok here's the plan, you cause a distraction that way I can sneek into my office and pretend I was there."
"The hell with that! So you can throw me to the wolves aye? well I got news for you! fuck you!"
"I sure hope not cause I'm not really into little boys."
Ed snapped. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT IT'D BE EASIER FOR HIM SNEEKING INTO AN OFFICE THAN YOU DUE TO THE FACT THAT IM SO SMALL THAT I WOULDNT ATTRACT ATTENTION!"
"Although you do look cute whenever you get mad, your face turns this cute shade of red."
"Are you fucking flirting with me?" before Roy could mess around with the blonde's head even more however he was interrupted by a voice. " I sure hope not."
Roy groaned inwardly. 'Stupid shrimp and his sensitivity to height and loud voice' all the noise the blonde had made had attracted the attention of the person that he'd been trying to avoid.
"Colonel sir, it's almost noon, you're five hours late."
Roy scratched the back of his trying to find an excuse that wouldn't leave him with bullet holes. "uh...yeah.." he cringed. 'Oh wow great excuse Mustang.'
But to his surprise instead of Hawkeye pulling out her handy pistol she just arched an eyebrow." Is that the best that you could come up with? uh yeah?"
Havoc, Breda, Feulman came onto the scene. "who's flirting with who?"asked Breda munching on a doughnut in one hand and drinking coffe in another, in which Mustang was eyeing enviously.
Havoc snickered. "Looks like the two lovebirds are at it again." Feulman frowned confused." Roy and Ed are dating?"
"uh hell no!" Ed shrieked. "like I'd ever date the smug bastard. He's got an ego the size of Saturn!"
They all stared at him. Havoc shot him a skeptical look. "Right even if he was the last man on earth?"
"...well...wait.. wtf am I saying? I'd rather screw a plant!"
Havoc, Breda and Roy all nodded. "riii-ght we believe you." Havoc patted him on the back. "admit it shrimp, you-"
"yoo-hoo, hey guys!" they all groaned while Riza rubbed her temples, she was beginning to get a headache and the last thing sh needed right now was Hughes.
"you guys wanna see the new photos of my adorable darling Ely-" but stopped when he saw the look on everyone's faces, particulary Ed's which was growing steadily more and more red.
"whats going on?"
"we're trying to get the chief to admit his crush on the colonel."
"for the last fucking time I do not like the smug bastard! I hate him with every fibre of my being!"
"that's how people who are in denial talk Edward."
"shut up bastard! no one asked your opinion!"
Roy smirked, "since when do I wait to be asked?"
"why are you living with him if you don't like him?" questioned Feulman curiously. "for someone you really hate it's odd that you'd be living at his house."
Hughes eyes sparkled. "they're living together, eh?"
neither Roy or Ed liked the look in Hughe's eyes, even Hawkeye was sporting an amused look.
"yeah chief, we all know that the Colonel would invite you just for the sake of having fun to mss with you, but its kinda funny that you'd accept the offer."
"oh for crying outloud me and Al are living with the bastard beacuse we got kicked out of our apartment! so until we find our own place we're going to live with him! any questions!"
Havoc raised a hand. "yeah, um why'd you get kicked out of your aprtment?"
"he used the rent money to buy boots."
"shut up bastard! they don't need to know that!"
"why on a pair of boots?"
"they made him look taller apparently" Roy shrugged. All the subordinates including Meas turned to look at the chibi alchemist.
"what?"
Hawkeye sighed. "I dont know why we're all surprised, its an Edward thing to do."
"whats that supposed to mean?"
tbc...