It's been so long lol sorry ! But I'm here with an update again! I would totally write this just a couple weeks before school starts up again (I'm going into my last semester of university!) but here's hoping that I can update again real soon. I have 20 chapters planned out for this fic, so long as I don't deviate from my original idea and so long as the fic doesn't take some drastic turn lol so there's that at least, just 7 chapters to go! I will do my best to update soon !

Light stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and using a smaller towel to dry his hair. He and Matt were long since back at home and Matt was currently fast asleep. It had been a couple weeks since he and Matt had slept over at L's place, where he met the lively Wedy.

She was an interesting lady, that's for sure. Light still felt his cheeks warm at the thought of her kiss. She stayed for another day, as did Light and Matt on L and the boys' extreme insistence, then she left again, going off to no one knew where, not even her. She was a whirlwind of a person. Mello and Near gave her a big hug when she was leaving; she smiled at Matt and blew a kiss at Light before waving cheekily at L. And then she was gone.

Other than saying goodbye to their mom, Mello and Near hardly left Matt's side. His son didn't know what to do with all the attention but he had a lot of fun with them.

Light dressed for the night and climbed into bed, getting his phone out to check if he had any messages.

There were three. One from Sayu asking him to take her shift tomorrow (he replied with a resigned yes), one from Mikami asking the next time he's free (Light figured he'd reply in the morning after having time to think about it), and one from L asking if he and Matt would like to join him and the boys at the waterpark this weekend.

Light was in the midst of replying that he was down for it but he'd have to ask Matt in the morning, when a soft knocking came from his bedroom door.

Light put his phone away and made his way to the door, opening it to reveal his son shyly staring down at the ground, sporting quite the wild bedhead. "Everything ok, Matt?"

Matt nodded, stepping closer to his dad. "Could I sleep here tonight?"

Light picked him up and took him to the bed. He carefully set him down, Matt not hesitating in clinging to him as his father wrapped his arms around him protectively. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Matt squirmed a little, but then spoke in a soft voice, "I've been thinking about mom," he sniffled a bit, "can we go visit her grave soon?"

Light tugged him a little closer, kissing the top of Matt's head. "We can go first thing tomorrow morning." He felt the tension leave Matt's small body and his heart broke. He had a feeling Matt, who tended to keep his feelings quietly hidden away, had been feeling this way for some time. "Have you been thinking of her since we met Wedy?"

"It's not that I feel like you're not enough for me," Matt buried his face into Light's chest. "I'm so thankful that I have you in my life, I would never trade you for anything in the world but sometimes I see other kids with their moms and I just," he sniffled, "I don't want to be jealous of anyone but I always wonder what if…" He trailed off, sniffling more and Light squeezed him a little tighter, never wanting to let go of his son.

"I wish I could wave a magic wand and bring her back but I can't."

"I know." Matt was growing and he was no longer the tiny baby Light first held in his arms but at this moment, his son felt so small to him again.

"She's watching over you now, and I know how much she loved you."

Matt stayed quiet, his small hands clenching tightly on Light's shirt.

"Try to get some rest, alright? We'll go to her grave in the morning."

He thought Matt was asleep but his son whispered, "ok," leaving Light to wonder about his son and hoping he wasn't doing things wrong by being on his own.

He never considered dating again after Matt's mom passed because he was too busy to focus on anyone other than his son and Sayu, but now with L…

Light wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that if they dated and stayed together, there would be a merging of two families who lived under very different circumstances. L had his own kids and with Wedy coming and going, he didn't know how he'd feel being a part of that dynamic. He didn't want to come in and break anything. He didn't know how having more people in their lives would affect Matt.

Maybe he and L weren't even serious enough for him to start considering their families coming together like that. Maybe L would find someone less complicated to bring into his family and Matt and Light would just be a happy memory.

Either way, as Light noticed that Matt was finally asleep while he gently brushed away the stray tears, he knew he himself wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.

The next morning, Light woke up earlier than Matt and felt a lot less rested than he had in a long time. He took in a couple deep breaths before quietly walking out of the room to go make some breakfast to start the day.

He took his coffee today as black as he could make it, forgoing the sugar this time around, just to ensure that it would be strong enough to wake him, and keep him awake. Light leaned against the counter of his kitchen while nursing his coffee, thinking back to last night.

He had a shift to take at Stylin' Cute today. He hadn't replied to Mikami yet and he hadn't gotten around to sending the message to L about the waterpark. He sighed into his coffee, seeing his distorted reflection staring back at him.

Matt was a sensitive boy, so sweet and kind but despite all the love he gave him, Light knew he couldn't make up for not having a mom. With his own parents gone, Light knew how it felt, but at least he got a chance to know them. And Matt finally makes some friends that are so similar to him but then he sees they're so much happier and it breaks Light's heart that he can't do anything to help his son other than what he's already been doing.

Light started on some French toast to make for himself and Matt and while he was making them, his phone started ringing from his bedroom. He checked to make sure the toast wouldn't burn and walked back to his room, hoping the phone wouldn't wake Matt.

He saw his little boy sitting up on the bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly, his bedhead even worse than it had been last night. Light greeted him with a kiss to the cheek before he picked up his phone, seeing that Sayu was calling him.

"Matt, I'm making breakfast right now, ok?"

His son nodded, still a little more sleepy than awake.

Light answered the call as he walked back to the kitchen. "Morning Sayu."

She was in the midst of a yawn when he picked up. "Morning bro, I got a ting in the sibling bond, what's the haps?"

Light stared at the slice of toast that was nearly finished. "Huh?"

"Y'know, like twin telepathy only different because we're not twins and you raised me and all that. You telling me that you've never had your, I don't know, parental or brotherly senses tingle when I'm out doing something I probably shouldn't be doing?"

"Yeah, but I just assume that's the default setting."

"… Touché." She groaned as she stretched in bed, bringing her other hand to try to tame her wild hair. The only one in the family who didn't wake up with horrendous bedhead was Light and it wasn't fair. "So, what's on your mind that's got you all worried at," there was some shuffling and, "fuck, six in the morning I didn't want to be awake this early I'm off today."

Light rolled his eyes as the last piece of toast finished and he set it on the plate. "Only because I'm taking your shift." He sighed, shifting the phone so it rested between his shoulder and his ear, then carried the two plates to the table. "Anyway, it's nothing."

"You ain't fooling me, bro."

Light picked up his phone normally again and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as he debated whether or not to tell her. "Matt came into my room last night, he couldn't sleep because he was thinking about his mom."

Sayu winced. "Poor kid. I'm guessing neither of you got much sleep then?"

"Hopefully tonight goes better."

The two talked about work then said their goodbyes because Sayu still wanted some beauty sleep.

Light put his phone down on the table by his plate and turned around to call Matt to get his breakfast before it got cold when he felt small arms wrap themselves around his waist.

"I'm sorry, dad." Matt's voice came out muffled but it sounded steadier than it had last night. Light hugged him back and the two stood for a while, neither wanting to let go.

"It's ok, Matt. You know I love you."

"I love you too." Matt tugged at the bottom of Light's shirt to get him to bend down closer to his height and once he did, Matt kissed his dad's cheek, then shyly looked down.

Light smiled at his precious son and guided him over to their breakfast which wasn't as warm as Light had hoped it would be.

But that was ok because Matt seemed to love it, and when he finished his French toast and his chocolate milk, there was a smile on his face as Light told him to get ready because they were heading out to the grave, then to Stylin' Cute right after. Light asked him about going to the waterpark and Matt's face lit up even more at the thought of hanging out with his friends again.

It was tricky sometimes, just the two of them. Light didn't have anyone to go to for help, so he was on his own for Sayu and Matt. He did his best with Sayu and she's fine now, and he's doing his best for Matt so he can only hope that he'll turn out alright too.

Light and Matt sat down at the back table in Stylin' Cute after having gone to visit the cemetery. They had taken some pink and white carnations, not for the meaning which Light wasn't even sure about, but because they happened to be her favorites. They had talked to her and Matt cried a little; Light didn't hesitate to bring him in close. Once Matt had calmed down so that he was just sniffling, he felt they were ready to go.

"I'll always love you," Light had said to her grave as they turned around and walked away.

And now here they were, the moment they walked in there were two exclamations of happiness that came from Misa and Kiyomi who were already working with some clients.

Matt had followed his dad to the back after greeting the girls, where Light left his stuff before going out to Sayu/his station, leaving Matt in the backroom with a book and his Gameboy. Light already had some clients lined up and while he did a fantastic job, his eyes kept going back to Matt who seemed like he was doing better now. Light's heart always broke when Matt was sad, especially in this case when there wasn't anything he could do to fix things.

Light took his lunch break and went with Matt to McDonalds across the street. Light finally pulled out his phone to reply to the only two guys he'd been talking to lately.

Mikami, sorry I hadn't replied, but I should be free Friday night? Did you have something in mind? We could go see a movie maybe?

He hadn't hung out with Mikami in a while so he wanted to catch up and see how his friend was doing. He could drop Matt off with Sayu for a bit in case Mikami wanted to go out.

L, sorry for the late reply, it's been a rough day, I asked Matt about the waterpark and he's super psyched to go play with Mello and Near. Thank you for thinking to invite us, it's been such a hot summer.

That done, he gave all his attention to Matt who was telling him about the book he was reading, Flowers for Algernon, and how he really liked it.

Light smiled at him, recalling the book and hoping Matt would like it once he got to the end.

His phone beeped a couple times to tell him of an incoming text message. As he unlocked the screen, it beeped again.

Both Mikami and L were fast at replying—who would've thought.

Light, I am happy to hear that. The boys are already planning out which rides they are going to go on with Matt. And you know, you are always on my mind, mon chéri.

Light felt his cheeks grow warm and Matt looked at him curiously, wondering what he saw on his phone to make him react like that. It was nice to see a different side of his dad than he was used to, but he wondered if it was a good thing. He hoped it wasn't Mikami.

Friday sounds great. I was thinking of just coming over to your place so it can be a chill night for you, and you won't have to worry about a babysitter.

That was surprisingly considerate of Mikami. He texted back telling him to come later at night so Matt would be in bed and wouldn't have to see Mikami if he wasn't feeling up for it. Light had a collection of dvds he and Sayu had started, so he and Mikami could watch one of those while they talked.

When his lunch break was almost over, Light bought Matt a vanilla ice cream cone and they went back to Stylin' Cute.

"Hey Light," Kiyomi began, once he settled into his/Sayu's station again, with Matt playing his Gameboy in the backroom. "Are you free in a couple weeks? My birthday is coming up and I wondered if you wanted to come to my place. Misa and Sayu are coming, you can bring Matt. I'll have some friends from college but it won't be a big party or anything."

Light paused in arranging his work materials. "Are you throwing yourself a party?"

"I know what I like so I do it all myself." She shrugged with a cheeky grin.

Misa giggled behind them. "It's gonna be so much fun with you there! Are you gonna get plastered, Light?"

Light cleared his throat, quickly glancing at Matt who had no idea what was being said in the salon. Misa grinned sheepishly as she continued to dye her client's hair.

"No, I'm not, I've learned from my mistakes. There are too many pictures of me out there with not enough clothes on." He sighed dejectedly, not even noticing that the female clients in the store all looked over at him, interests peaked.

"I invited L earlier but he said he and the boys will be out of town that day." Kiyomi said.

Light nodded. "He does travel a lot." He greeted his next client with a warm smile, momentarily stunning them. Light never even noticed because he was already thinking about what present to get Kiyomi. "At least if I make any questionable decisions, he won't be there to witness them."

"We could always video chat him."

"Please don't."

Matt had long since gone to sleep and Light was waiting for Mikami to come over. He already got the confirmation text and was just wondering when he'd get there.

Light didn't keep Mikami's visit a secret from Matt, but he assured his son he didn't have to see Mikami if he didn't want to.

Mikami was a busy man, working as a lawyer, and Light liked his friendship. He was hesitant to see him since Matt was a little shy around him but Matt had given him the ok for the night so he felt a little better about it. Mikami had been around since Light's high school days, other than the girls, Mikami was his only friend and he appreciated him making time to come see how Light was doing every once in a while.

His phone rang, cutting into Light's thoughts. The brunet's face lit up at seeing L's name on the screen. "Hi, L."

"Evening, Light. I hope I did not wake you. How are you?"

"No, I'm still up. I'm good, it's been an interesting few days but things have mostly gone well." Light bit his lip. "I've missed you."

"And I have missed you. We have been busy over here, but we are all excited to see you both this weekend."

Light unconsciously played with the ends of his hair. Maybe it was time for him to get a trim. "Maybe we could do another sleepover after the waterpark, either my place or yours."

"That sounds nice, I will let the boys know and we can figure out whose house we will use."

"I really want to kiss you again." Light blurted out, surprising himself.

L's chuckle on the other end made Light's blush intensify. "I am sure once the kids go to bed we could stay up and—"

The doorbell rang, drawing Light's attention away from L.

"Ah, sorry L, I have to go, Mikami just came over but whatever you were going to say, yes. Have a goodnight, L."

"Ah, alright. Sweet dreams, Light."

He hung up and opened the door with a smile as he put his phone away. "Hi, Mikami, it's good to see you." He gave him a hug and the raven-haired man who returned it walked into the house.

"I hope it's not too late for me to be here," Mikami said as he and Light made their way to the couch.

"Oh, no not at all, I'm not doing anything tomorrow other than taking Matt to the waterpark with L and his kids but that won't be until later in the day so it's fine."

Light didn't notice the face Mikami made at the mention of L, too busy picking out a handful of dvds they could choose from.

"And Matt's asleep?" He picked a random dvd from the pile, letting Light put it in as he watched the brunet in front of him.

"Should be," Light told him, getting the movie set up. He offered Mikami some snacks who politely declined, but accepted a milkshake and went to help Light make them.

Once they had their milkshakes, they returned to the couch and Light started the movie.

Light was sitting close to Mikami, not noticing that Mikami was only looking at him, instead of whatever movie was playing.

"So, you and L seem to be getting along well," Mikami finally asked as he finished the milkshake.

Light had been nursing it at a much slower rate and still had most of it. He looked curiously at his long-time friend with a small smile. "Yeah he's, he's really great. I was just talking to him before you got here. I don't get to see him much."

Mikami's face no longer had the same happy expression he'd first had upon seeing Light, but the brunet remained unaware because his focus was split with his friend and the movie.

"I see. How's Matt taking it?"

Light licked up the bit of milkshake that spilled past his lips and Mikami's stare never left his face. "I think he's taking it well, he gets along with L's kids and he's really happy with them."

"Happy enough that he wouldn't mind you and L combining families?"

Light nearly choked on his milkshake. "Well I mean, I think it's a little early to be thinking about that…" He refused to mention that he had been thinking about that same thing just a few days ago. This was something he and L needed to discuss well before people started making any assumptions.

Mikami smiled at him. "I just want what's best for you."

"Thank you, Mikami, I really appreciate you looking out for me." Before either had a chance to say anything else, Light's phone rang. He put down his milkshake before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Sayu? It's like eleven at night what are you doing still up?" Light turned away from Mikami apologetically.

"Hey bro! I need your car." Sayu greeted happily.

"Sayu, it's late, what are you doing right now?"

"Right now I'm actually walking to your place, I need your car, some friends and I are going out tonight for some drinks and it's my turn to drive."

"Why can't you be asleep like normal people?" Light stood up and walked to his front door, throwing a look back at Mikami and muttering away from the phone, "I'll be right back."

"Because I wanna have some fun tonight!" Sayu giggled as Light walked out of his house, wondering from which direction Sayu would show up from.

"Are you hanging with Misa and Kiyomi?"

"Nah, they're sleeping, they got work tomorrow."

"You do too."

"Come on bro," she sing-songed.

Light stepped out into his driveway and saw a small figure walking towards him from the end of the street. "Ok, I see you." He hung up and put his hands on his hips, reminiscent of when he would reprimand her when she was younger. Sayu walked towards him with a pout.

Meanwhile, Mikami had paused the movie and wondered if it would be worth it to go see whatever drama the Yagami siblings were cooking up. Then he remembered Sayu's dislike of him and thought it better to stay on the couch.

He heard some shuffling going on behind him and turned around to see Matt pop up from behind the couch, rubbing his sleepy eyes with one hand while the other held onto a stuffed bunny.

Mikami rolled his eyes at the child before he was seen. Despite his love for Light, he didn't feel anything in particular for Matt, maybe dislike, since he made Light's life so stressful.

And maybe because Light would have been his had Matt and his mother not come into the picture.

The little boy finally noticed him and he visibly jumped back a bit, his arm tightening around the bunny. "Um, where's my dad?"

"He's outside with Sayu, she's doing something stupid probably."

Matt looked uncomfortable. Part of him wanted to turn around and walk right back into his room but the other part wanted to wait for his dad. He'd go outside but didn't want to get in the middle of his dad and Sayu if his aunty really was getting in trouble.

"Say, Matt," Mikami spoke, startling the boy, making him wish he hadn't gotten up because he was having a bad dream and wanted to be with his dad.

"Y-yeah?"

Mikami looked so nonchalant and for some reason that rang some alarms for Matt. Oh he wished his dad would walk back inside quickly. "What do you think of L?"

"L?"

"Yeah you know, annoying guy with the messy hair, ridiculous fashion sense and horrendous eye-bags?" He nearly added thinks he can take Light away from me but refrained since he knew it would scare Matt away.

Matt bit his lip. "I like L. I think he's nice and he really likes my dad."

Mikami rolled his eyes but didn't let Matt see that. "And his sons?"

Matt relaxed a little, a small smile making its way onto his face. "I really like them, they're my friends."

"Right. So will you still really like them when they take your place?"

Matt's smile disappeared. "What do you mean?"

"Oh you know, if Light and L ever hook up, you won't be the only kid anymore, you'll have to share everything with those other two."

"Sharing isn't so bad."

"But you're nothing special," Mikami told him. "Just because you're smart doesn't mean anything. The other two are smart too. Probably smarter than you. And you'll be the middle child. You'll be forgotten."

"No, my daddy would never do that."

"Your dad's attention will be completely taken up by his new boyfriend and the other kids. You won't be important to him anymore. You think L will give you attention when he already has his own kids?"

"That won't happen," Matt protested weakly.

Mikami shrugged. "And with their mom still in the picture, no one will even notice you, you want to give your dad to some kids who already have a mom and a dad? You'll be left with nothing."

Matt's lower lip trembled. He hadn't thought of any of that, just thought that it'd be nice to have more people to call a family.

To have his only two friends, his best friends, always there with him.

To have his dad happy.

Matt started crying silently and he ran back to his room, closing the door behind him.

Mikami made himself comfortable on the couch. If he wasn't sure that Sayu was getting lectured, he wouldn't have said all that, not wanting to risk Light coming in and hearing anything.

Matt was so easy to persuade.

Now, so long as Matt didn't say anything to his dad (he wouldn't, otherwise he would've run outside the moment Mikami said all that to him), then the L problem would resolve itself.

Light walked back into the house just a couple minutes later, with a deep sigh. He dropped onto the couch and smiled gratefully at Mikami who passed him his milkshake. "Sayu's so wild sometimes, I don't know what to do with her."

"What happened?"

"She needed my car."

"Did you give it to her?"

"Yeah, but she's gotta keep me updated on everything she does tonight and she's taking it to the car wash tomorrow. I lectured her about spur-of-the-moment decisions. At least she'll be the designated driver this time."

"I'm sure she'll be fine."

Light sighed again, drinking about half his milkshake. "I know. Well, let's keep watching the movie, I left just before my favorite part."

Mikami found the remote and unpaused the movie. It was looking to be a good night, for him at least.

Don't kill me!

...

It's the intro of the plot... I know the chapter didn't have much L and the boys but they'll make a comeback in the next chapter !

Remember, things get a lot worse before they get better, so yeah. Ahahaha. Look forward to the rest of the chapters lol

Also please excuse any mistakes!

And thank you to everyone who alerts/favorites/reviews this fic! You guys make me so happy :D

Come talk to me about this fic or DN or anything on tumblr- chocomonki

Or twitter, where I'm more active- gummyrubi

Thank you for reading :D