Chapter 14: 'The Balancing Act'
Author Notes:
General Warnings for this chapter:
-Violence
-Anxiety
There's a lot of time jumps in this one, so I do recommend you reread some previous chapters if you feel up to it. Plus you'll see everything lines up really nicely and understand certain reactions and actions a lot better!
Thank you for reading, please don't forget to leave your thoughts on this big ass chapter.
"We'll never get out of here. I'm not leaving you in this place Korra."
Even through the exhaustion, the incessant pounding in her head and that dull ache in her stomach, Asami's determined voice cut through the stiff air with ease. It made Korra smile just a little despite herself. She'd chosen her companions, her friends, very well.
She replied with as much strength as she could summon. "You might...you might not have a choice...I...whatever Zaheer does to me, I'll fight. I'll fight my hardest. But I don't – I don't know if I can win-" No lies. I don't know what the hell Zaheer's going to do when he comes.
"But Korra-"
Korra shut her down quickly, hoping Asami would hear her desperation, would take this pledge seriously. "Promise me...promise me Asami, that if, if you get the chance to escape here, even if I'm not with you, that you'll...that you'll take it."
There was a long pause before Asami answered. Korra pulled on her chains briefly in the silence. Still tight as ever.
"I promise, Korra." Steely. That had sounded genuine, and Asami wasn't a good liar, though she would have to become one if either of them were going to survive this place.
Korra nodded her head as much as the constraints would allow. "Alright, good. Now please go...go to sleep. You've got to stay strong, for both of us. You staying awake until you pass out isn't going to...going to help either of us."
Asami didn't do as she was told in this case. Korra could hear her friend's erratic breathing through the cell wall, but she wouldn't push her any further either. If Asami wasn't going to listen, she wasn't going to listen. Nothing Korra could say would change that. Thankfully, after 20 minutes or so, Korra heard the light thud of a body collapsing to the floor nearby. Asami. Exhaustion finally having caught up with her after all these hours.
Korra felt like doing the very same, but knew fine well the guards stationed outside her cell would allow her no such reprieve. Their master's instructions. The Avatar was not to be given the luxury of sleep, or food or water or anything, really.
An hour passed, or what seemed like an hour. Could've been a few, given her current lack of brain power, or any power really. Trying to meditate into the Spirit World had proved fruitless. Her body was simply too exhausted for Korra to concentrate on anything or focus on emptying her mind. She was too scared to silence the terrified voices in her head. Amon had made her feel like this for most of her first few weeks and months in Republic City, and she'd hated it.
But it was worse now, with Zaheer. Amon hadn't been in prison for almost two decades for his cause, Zaheer had. He was much more deluded, and far more dangerous. It was worse for other reasons too...now Korra had something to protect...someone to protect...she wasn't just trapped here herself. There wasn't just her own safety to think about.
And that frightened Korra more than anything, more than she could possibly rationalise. This intense feeling to protect Asami felt like it had come out of the blue...but on reflection...those feelings had been bubbling away for weeks.
Only now, when pushed to extremes, seeing Asami in this much peril, could she begin to clearly comprehend those feelings.
Another hour trudged on by and Korra felt herself slowly surrendering to the darkness at the back of her eyes. A gentle knock on the door snapped them back open.
"Raava...now would be a really good time for an Avatar State boost, just a little one, enough so I don't bring this place down," Korra muttered quietly as her cell door was pulled open.
The light spirit didn't reply. Figures...maybe she's just trying to protect me...going into the Avatar State like this would probably shut down all my vital organs or something...
"Avatar. I think it's time we had a proper conversation, don't you?" Zaheer stood in the doorway, flanked by P'Li and Ming-Hua.
P'Li stepped forward cautiously, her huge figure casting a tall shadow across the cell. "Don't do anything stupid. P'Li will take off your restraints and you will follow me."
Korra nodded as P'Li unlocked her chains slowly. Even with the Avatar State, dealing with P'Li at such close range would be suicidal. They'd both be blown to bits, and Korra got the feeling P'Li wouldn't think about such a sacrifice twice. Not if it kept the Red Lotus safe. Korra would have to meet their extremes in equal measure.
"I'll come along quietly..." Korra murmured as the chains came away. She immediately slumped down to her knees. The strength in her legs was gone.
"Good...otherwise I'll redecorate your pretty friend next door's face," Ming-Hua warned with a crooked smile.
"Leave Asami out of this," Korra snarled as she was pulled to her feet by P'Li, having to be supported by her as Korra stumbled forward and out of the cell. This is humiliating. My enemies are helping me walk now? What kind of Avatar am I...
"I'm glad you've come to your senses, Avatar, we have much to discuss," Zaheer stated as he guided them through the cave. Got to make him believe. Buy into his ideology. Give Asami a chance. She'll keep the escape plan going. I just have buy her sometime. Not that hard.
Korra stared at herself in a small pool of water on the cave floor.
She'd cut her hair with a knife, a change of appearance had seemed necessary if Zaheer was to believe she had fully changed. Was his puppet to control. But she wasn't. She never would be, never could be. She was Korra...Korra from where?
She wanted to say Republic City. That place made her feel warm. And that's what home should feel like. But her home was cold too. The south, Zaheer had told her she was from the south, an orphan. But her parents weren't dead. She was sure of that. She could almost see them, the outline of a broad, muscular figure – her father – and a petite, but still physically strong woman – her mother. Their faces however, were a blur. Blue lights sat where eyes were supposed to be, like some kind of mover camera that refused to focus, no matter how hard she slapped her forehead.
But they were alive. The Earth Queen had no hand in their death. That was a definite lie. Hopefully their names and faces would come back with time. She missed them. A lot.
Just got to be patient.
That word made her reflection scowl. Patient. She always had to be patient for everything. But it made her feel other things too, warm again, but a different kind from home. That of respect, mutual understanding.
There were still other people out of her reach, names and faces lost. Little kids who were so full of life and happiness that they could glide along the ground. Brothers too. Both of them made her smile a little, for different reasons. Their image caused a particular tightness to form in her gut, concern. Worry for their safety. That wasn't a lie implanted by Zaheer. That was all from her. She hadn't left them in good circumstances.
Korra rubbed a hand against her cheek, against a light scar.
Those were changes in her appearances she'd had no hand in. The scars. The darkness below her eyes. She couldn't quite recall how they'd come about, but she felt like ice and liquid metal had played a part in it. The latter made her feel heavier somehow, stiff.
Her clothes were all wrong too. Blue was her color. Not the red and black she was cloaked in. She didn't wear those colors well. But somebody else did-
"Rei, with me, now!" Zaheer at the entrance to her bedroom. And that name again. Rei. It kept trying to push Korra away, made the faces in those memories fade even further. But it sounded right too...somehow. It was the way Zaheer said it. No hesitation. No mistake. He didn't like leaving her alone for very long.
She pulled herself to her feet, Zaheer shadowing her all the way as they followed a group of Red Lotus sentries who were ranting on about the Earth Queen and some big announcement. Something about airbenders, which again caused a painful twist in her stomach. That was her legacy. Wasn't it? She'd fight and die for them if she had to...
"How did you hear this announcement? I thought the radio was broken?" Zaheer muttered as he followed them through the tunnels. Rei had never been above this floor. Zaheer hadn't let her yet. The way out must be somewhere at the top of this place...
One of the guards turned their heads. "Ghazan got someone to fix it up just in time to listen in to the Earth Bitch's big announcement. Sounds like she's taking a step deeper into crazy land."
"Earth Bitch? You've been spending way too much time with Ghazan," another guard with a teasing tone.
"Call her whatever you like, it doesn't change who or what she is," Zaheer replied coldly as he pushed his way past them, pulling Rei gently along with him. They entered a large cavern a few moments later. A space where most of the Red Lotus liked to hang around and relax. Rei didn't like it too much. It felt very lonely. "What's going on Ghazan?"
"Earth Bitch just made an interesting announcement," Ghazan grumbled as he gestured to a nearby radio.
Rei spotted a flash of red and black at the corner of her eye as she stared at the little orange light illuminated on the front panel of the radio.
"Korra! Korra it's me!"
Rei tore her head away from the radio at the sound of that voice. Her name. Korra...not Rei...Korra is my name...
And that voice. That voice filled Korra with something very different from any of the other faded memories that she held. This warmth was different. Like the light of the sun – well maybe not quite that bright – the lights of Republic City – stable, constant. Keeping away the darkness instead of casting a shadow. But there was still a fire there too, a little flame. One that made Korra's heart pound rapidly as firm hands suddenly gripped her arms like a vice.
"What's she doing here Ghazan?! Get Sato back in her cell now!" Zaheer sounded anxious.
But that name he'd used wasn't right. She was sure of it. It wasn't this girl. This beautiful, green eyed girl that Korra couldn't tear her eyes away from even if she'd wanted to. The warmth she felt under this intense gaze was one that made the stiffness in her bones, the exhaustion in her brain, even the dryness of her lips, all fade away into the background.
"I didn't know you were bringing her down here!" Ghazan, angry.
Korra ignored them both, examining this girl's face intently, with all her brain power. Remember. You know that face. You really know it. Not Sato though..that's not quite right. Too formal. Not how you'd address her anyways... A gust of air blew past them.
"Korra! Korra look at me!" the girl was begging, she seemed so desperate, on the verge of tears. And Korra wanted to hug her, to wipe away any tears that fell. But that felt dangerous. The wrong thing to do, for this girl as much as for herself. Buy into his ideology...buy me time...buy me time...
Korra looked right at her instead. Right into those glistening, green eyes, and almost lost herself in them.
Ghazan and Zaheer continued to shout at each other, started hauling on her waist and that of the other girl's, but the green eyed girl wouldn't let go, gripping on more tightly as Ghazan pulled her. Zaheer did the same to Korra, and she was half tempted to grip onto the other girl's black jacket sleeves, even if she ended up ripping them off.
"You know me Korra! I'm Asami!"
Asami.
That was right...that name was right. No lie. No illusion. Absolute truth.
Asami Sato... Korra felt herself start to tremble in place as a wave of memories came flooding back, threatening to make her cry out. Asami...Asami was going to get them out of this place...she was...digging – no cutting – cutting a hole in the floor of her cell. And Korra...she had to...had to...nab some batteries.
But that wasn't even the most important thing. Another instruction this Asami had given Korra. To buy into Zaheer's ideology. She had to make him believe. She had to become Rei.
That would keep Asami safe. Keep both of them safe, for a little while. And Korra really wanted to keep Asami safe. The thought of anything else...it turned her stomach.
What was it Zaheer had said...? Tried to make her believe about her past? That she had someone she loved...someone she loved that was dead, killed at the hands of the Earth Queen. Play along Korra...like you're in a mover or something...
"You're dead...you're supposed to be dead..." Korra murmured. And Asami would have to be kept in the dark too. For her own safety. If Asami believed in the lie, Zaheer would too, everyone else would. Korra would be able to operate in this place much more freely as a result. Keep my distance. Gotta keep my distance.
"Dead. Dead. Dead. You told me my friend was dead...the Earth Queen..." Korra murmured quietly, feeling her heart ache painful at the utter devastation suddenly etched across Asami's pale features.
"This isn't your friend. This is a traitor to our cause, now step away Rei," Zaheer replied sternly as he loosened his grip on Korra's waist slightly. Korra reluctantly shook herself free of Asami's hold, watching the other girl's arms drop to her side in defeat. I'm so sorry...
Korra could only hope that Asami was emotionally strong enough to ride this one out, to keep the escape plan going and her promise.
"No..." Asami muttered quietly before her expression suddenly shifted to one of absolute fury as she craned her head to look at Zaheer, trying to launch herself at the airbender. Ghazan grabbed her viciously from behind before she could even get close. "What the hell did you do to her?!" She began pounding the muscles of Ghazan's arms relentlessly with her fists. "You monster! You're all a pack of monsters!"
Did that include Korra now? The Avatar bit her bottom lip firmly, until it hurt.
"I think this prisoner has spouted quite enough lies, don't you?" Zaheer suggested coldly as he placed a hand of Korra's shoulder and guided her out of the room.
"I concur," Ghazan replied.
A little bit of blood trickled down her chin as she heard Ghazan's last words in the distance followed by the sound of a small piece of earth shifting. "I'm not taking any chances with you Sato. There's no way in hell you're going back to your cell quietly is there?"
A small thud followed and Korra closes her eyes over. So she couldn't keep Asami safe then. The best she could do was keep her alive. And that meant living the lie. Becoming Rei in every way.
"Are you okay Rei?" Zaheer asked softly as he noted the blood on her chin.
"I'm okay, I just...I got a bit of a fright when that girl jumped on me..." Korra replied with a slight whimper, rubbing her sleeve against her jaw to clear away the mess that her frustration had caused, not her fear.
Korra had tried her best. Her absolute best to avoid Asami.
Avoid was probably the wrong word. She always stayed as close as possible without instigating any kind of interaction or conversation. Korra watched instead. Stayed vigilant, she'd prevent guards entering Asami's cell when they went in to take away left over food. That was about all she could do.
As the pieces of her past came back bit by bit, like a shattered mirror trying to reassemble itself, Korra remembered all the things she'd grown to like about Asami in recent weeks and months, things she'd been too jealous or too preoccupied to notice before.
Asami's smile. That little, light laugh of hers, or the snort she would produce when Korra really killed her with a joke. Her voice as well. How it could be soft and reassuring one second and hard as steel the next. It was easy to see now how Asami managed to survive the cut throat world of business as well as remain the nicest person who existed, who would ever exist. She remembered that Asami didn't like being alone, despite the isolation of her upbringing, she relished the time spent with Team Avatar. Mako and Bolin (whose names had come back to Korra few days ago).
Korra felt her heart twist painfully as she watched Asami now, staring at Ghazan's record player which was playing a calming melody. It was almost enough to make Korra cry, just at Asami's posture. She looked so defeated. So broken. So lost. Asami really believed she was alone here...maybe Korra was too good a liar.
But then Asami seemed to straighten herself upright, marching past Ghazan who nodded at her lazily from his chair. That nod...some kind of agreement that Zaheer has laid down? Restrictions about interaction with me maybe? Or just moving around this place generally?
Korra's voice caught in her throat when Asami planted herself on the seat directly across from her. Korra raised an eyebrow at her and considered getting up and leaving, but then that probably would've looked really odd to Ghazan. Besides, Asami's downtrodden expression when she glanced up to Korra's face briefly was easily enough for Korra to stay rooted to her seat. Asami had to know she wasn't alone here, even if it was Rei that offered that support, not Korra.
Asami pulled out two cocoa bars and began eating one of them carefully, still staying silent. Where had Asami gotten those? Asami was brilliant, but Korra was pretty sure she wasn't a chocolate bender. Maybe Ghazan...Zaheer seemed to have assigned him to keep an eye on Asami, and Asami had fixed his record player. So was it some kind of gift? A branch of friendship even? Don't trust him Asami. He's a monster. He'll turn against you as quickly as the rest of them.
"Gonna finish that?" Korra asked hesitantly as she pointed to one of the sealed cocoa bars.
Asami smiled brightly at that and Korra had to steady herself not to do the exact same. "What – um this – oh – no you can have it. I wasn't going to bother," Asami fretted as she passed the bar over gently. Again, Korra really struggled to control herself, fighting off the desperate urge to take a hold of Asami's hand as their fingers brushed briefly. Asami was shaking.
"Right, thanks," Korra half smiled as she started to chow down. "The music in here, did you do that?"
"I fixed the record player, yeh," Asami commented distantly. None of her usual pride in her many technical achievements was present.
Korra allowed herself to listen to the music briefly. It was definitely an emotional piece, a tearjerker even, and not the kind of music she'd have ever expected that brute Ghazan to listen to. "It's...it's beautiful...I don't remember ever hearing music like this back in Republic City, but then...I can't really remember much." You're beautiful... Korra scratched her head awkwardly. That had almost stumbled into very dangerous territory.
Still, Asami's pleasant smile in response was probably worth the risk in this case.
Korra knew Asami had entered the sparring area before she'd even seen her. The sudden increase in shouting from the crowd of Red Lotus gathered around the edge of the room on all sides confirmed it. Korra's stomach had been churning for a while, but now she felt just about ready to throw up. This situation wasn't going to end well for either of them.
Briefly, Korra considered snapping Asami up and both of them making a run for it, trying to find a way out. But there was way too many Red Lotus here, too many what ifs. Korra would be able to defend herself against them for a while, Avatar State or not, but Asami wouldn't last very long. Not against all these people. She'd be cut down by one of them in a few minutes.
Zaheer silenced their chanting with a raised hand, before he stepped away from Korra, walking until he was a few meters away from Asami, stood in the centre of the room. P'Li had shadowed him every step of the way. Asami stood resolute, even when the guards who had escorted her here marched off. Blood rushed to Korra's ears. She knew what was about to happen. Zaheer was going to beat Asami until she was remorseful. That was the Red Lotus way. If she didn't show any remorse, then she'd be killed.
Korra would step in if Asami was going to be that stubbornly brave, defend her friend even if it killed them both. She firmly believed that Asami wouldn't do that though. Asami was smarter than that. This was just one horrible setback.
"Prisoner. The Red Lotus have treated you with nothing but kindness." Lies. All lies. "Yet you betrayed us nonetheless, for a second time." Korra wasn't sure who'd caused the explosion which had injured several of the Red Lotus, but she was certain it wasn't Asami.
And then Asami started shouting, Korra's eyes widened. "Kindness?! You're all a bunch of monsters who act like they're doing something for the greater good! When you hurt people! When you torture people! When you murder people! Is that how you sleep at night?! By justifying it as some 'great cause' just like every other evil maniac in history?!"
Korra smiled slightly at those defiant words despite the way her hands trembled. Asami was brave. It wasn't in her nature to remain silent at such a grave injustice. The crowd didn't like it so much, shouting angrily instead until Zaheer silenced them again.
"Earlier this evening the portable stove in the recreational area exploded, injuring several of our brothers and sisters, some severely. It was a deliberate act, sabotaged by you, our engineer, the person who had taken it apart a few days ago to 'fix it'. Those who were in the room at the time were very lucky not to have been killed during the explosion."
Asami took a step forward and Korra chewed on her bottom lip. She was going to get herself killed. She had to stop before Zaheer silenced her permanently. "You're a liar Zaheer! Everyone here knows it! They're just too afraid to act!"
"Everyone here knows your expertise and technical ability. Only you could've set up the stove to explode in the manner in which it did." A set up. Zaheer. It must've been him. I'll make him pay for this. "You all know the price for murdering or injuring one of your brothers or sisters, prisoner or not."
Korra closed her eyes and clenched her fists. She didn't want to watch what was about to happen. But then Korra forced them back open. Not watching felt like a betrayal of Asami. A disservice to her friend's suffering.
"Beaten until remorseful," the crowd started to chant. Korra didn't join them.
"If no remorse is shown then they pay the ultimate price. We the Red Lotus are always willing to give people a chance, not one of you can say after today that this girl hasn't had the same opportunities," Zaheer called.
And Asami took a step closer yet again. Way too close. Korra started shouldering her way through the crowd. "And how many chances are you willing to give Avatar Korra?!" Asami's voice echoed around the room. It was a rallying call, to Korra, to make her remember. A last throw of the dice effort. It stopped Korra in her tracks as several of the Red Lotus around her subtly glanced her way.
But then Korra spotted what Zaheer had done, he'd shoved Asami to the ground. Asami had pushed him too far.
Korra finally broke free of the Red Lotus crowd, about to sprint across the empty space in the middle of the room when Zaheer called on her. "Rei! Step Forward!"
Korra did as was told, watching Asami's eyes widen considerably from her sitting position. Not me. He's not going to ask me to do it? Is he?! But then who else should it have been? Korra was Asami's best friend. Maybe she could make this a little bit less painful. She gritted her teeth and marched forward. This would probably be the worst experience of her life. Loosing her bending and past lives included. She'd endure all of that again if it meant avoiding this.
How am I going to do this...?
"Pick her up," Zaheer commanded.
Korra did as was told as she pulled Asami up by the collar, able to read her expression properly. She was scared. Asami was scared and it was Korra's fault. She chewed on her bottom lip again and narrowed her gaze. This is for Asami. This will keep her alive. She pulled Asami close, so their heads were side by side for a few seconds.
"Don't fight back, it'll make it easier," Korra whispered softly before she pushed Asami back a few paces. At least if Korra was in control of this situation Asami wouldn't have to endure the same levels of pain Zaheer would've put her through. She'd have to be extra careful about how she reduced the pain levels. Airbending. Cushion the blows. Just enough that Zaheer won't notice...and I'm really sorry Asami...but this...this is still going to hurt...
"You helped heal some of those injured Rei, and now you'll deliver justice for that pain. You will bring balance as the Avatar should," Zaheer stated as he placed a hand on her shoulder. Korra wanted to shake his grip off. Actually, she wanted to turn around and punch him in the face. Patience. You'll get the chance eventually."Beaten until remorseful. That is our way. That is your way. When this girl has shown true remorse then you will stop." Zaheer stepped away.
Asami closed her eyes over and stood resolute. Korra figured it was best to just get it over with. To make Asami wait any longer was suffering in itself.
She brought her fist forward quickly, covering it with a light cushion of air as she hit Asami cleanly in the stomach. And then she gasped, felt that sickness in her stomach bubbling up. She'd actually hit her friend. Felt Asami's bones against her fist. Already, she wanted to retch. Korra swallowed hard, glancing to Zaheer at the other side of the room. He was watching with great interest.
Just say the words Asami. Say you're sorry. Then this will all stop.
But Asami just lay there, eyes firmly closed. Trying to imagine she was somewhere else Korra guessed, she hoped it was working. It was hard to imagine Asami would ever forgive her for this once she found out the truth.
Korra continued with assault, concentrating on cushioning her blows as much as possible, and not throwing up. She kept her hits well below Asami's head, just her torso and arms, and was extra careful not to hit anywhere near her vital organs or areas that would be particularly sensitive. And Asami didn't seem to react at all, except by gritting her teeth slightly. She barely made a sound.
Too brave...just say the words...why is she holding out like this...? For pride? No...something else...
Then Asami opened her eyes slightly, staring at Korra suspiciously. She whispered something quietly, so quiet that Korra only just heard it and no more.
"Rei... if you don't want to do this for very long, you have to really hit me. Zaheer won't stop this until you do..."
And then Korra understood why Asami had been holding out all this time. She wanted to make sure that Zaheer firmly believed Korra had delivered a beating just as she had been commanded by her leader. Asami had obviously noticed her airbending then. At least she knows I really don't want to hurt her, even as Rei.
Korra pulled Asami back to her feet and stared at her for a long time. What was she going to do, with all these eyes on her? What injury would look the most convincing? One that had delivered the most punishment...
Asami gave her a slight nod, permission almost. Korra eyed up Asami's nose, an area that would draw blood quickly and end this whole cruel spectacle. She brought her fist back and guided it forward with much more power than she'd intended, feeling the cracking of bone against her knuckles as Asami was sent tumbling across the dirt floor.
Oh my god...I hit her...I really hit her...what kind of monster am I? I'm just as bad the rest of them...Zaheer has already changed me...
And there was that rising sickness in her gut again as Korra clutched at her stomach and almost crumbled over. Asami sat herself up a little just across the way, blood was streaming from her nostrils and down her face, a stark contrast against her pale skin. Korra felt the bile rise up her throat and swallowed it away at the last second, feeling it burn her insides painfully.
"I'm...I'm...sorry," Asami spoke sincerely. "I'm truly sorry..." She spat out some of the blood which had dribbled its way into her mouth. I did that...
Just as Korra was about to sprint over to assist she felt a hand on her shoulder. Zaheer. "Good job," he muttered softy, indicated for her to leave with a wave of his hand. Korra gritted her teeth and nodded, clenching her fists every step of the way.
Korra stood over a bucket in her room that she'd just filled with water, she sat herself down on the stone floor of her bedroom.
"Gotta get clean...gotta get clean..." she muttered to herself frantically whilst rubbing away at the skin of her hands, her knuckles and fingers in particular, cleaning away the dried blood that coated there and between each finger. She did this for far longer that was required to actually clean her hands, rubbing away until her skin started to burn from the friction.
"Not enough...not clean enough..."
Korra rubbed a black sleeve against her eyes. When had she started crying? Probably since the moment she'd sat down to try to clean away her guilt...clean it away with some water. That wasn't going to work. She'd never be able to get her hands clean enough. They were tainted forever.
She opened her eyes briefly, glancing down at the tin bucket locked between her crossed legs. She coughed violently at the sight of the now red colored water which filled the bucket. Her reflection was only barely visible in the maroon dyed liquid, but she could see still see it. Red Lotus Avatar...you're already doing exactly what Zaheer wants from you...
Then that sickness Korra had been feeling all day amplified considerably, her stomach tightening painfully as she titled her head forward, vomiting out whatever small amount of food she'd eaten that day into the bucket.
The sickness only stopped when it felt like Korra had nothing left in her stomach to fuel it. Her throat burned painfully from the effort as she ran hands across her stomach, trying to sooth herself in anyway she could. But she wasn't the one who need soothing, needed comfort.
I won't hurt Asami again. I can't. No matter what happens. I can't do that again. It was a vow Korra intended to keep to just as strictly as her duty to maintain peace and balance.
"Rei, are you feeling alright?" Zaheer asked in concern from the doorway.
Korra hauled herself upwards at his voice. "I'm – I'm fine. Just feeling a little sick – I think I might've ate something bad earlier – or maybe it was treating those people's burns. They were pretty bad – or maybe a combination of both-"
"Would you like to be to fetch one of our healers?"
Korra shook her head firmly and smiled a little. "I think I got it all out. I'm okay, I'm fine."
Zaheer nodded and tried to exit the room, but Korra caught up to him, grabbing his arm and feeling extremely tempted to just dig her fingers in painfully. She resisted. "Actually, I was wondering – since Sato's been through the trial and stuff – if I could go and heal her. You taught me that the Red Lotus aren't unnecessarily cruel to people and she said she was sorry, so it's only right."
Zaheer smiled at those words as he patted her shoulder. "I'm glad you are coming to understand out creed and ways, Rei. It's good to have you back. You may go and attend to Sato's wounds, though I'd advise against using that water."
Korra rolled her eyes. Of course I'm not going to use that water. I learned healing from the best in the world. Not that I can actually remember her name...just her face now...
"I got something for you whilst I was out with Ghazan, pretty sure you'll like it, " Asami explained quietly, she stepped a little closer.
Korra couldn't help but smile at how much more optimistic and happy Asami sounded since returning from her trip to the outside with Ghazan. A supply run. She prayed to Raava that Asami had taken the bate, had been brave in her little excursion. It'd taken Korra a good amount of fiddling with the generator when no one else was around to figure out how to maximise its power output until it overheated and fried what batteries were inside. They'd need to be replaced. She did it. She took the opportunity. Asami can be cunning when she needs to be.
And cunning she was as Asami reached into her back pocket, pulling out a navy blue arm band lined with white on either end. She passed it over to Korra with a small wink, keeping one eye trained on Ming-Hua behind them. Korra shifted a little to her left, blocking Ming-Hua's view of the exchange entirely.
She took the armband carefully from Asami's grip and studied it intently in her hand. Korra felt her heart begin to race at the sight of it, the feel of the tough cloth against her fingers, the familiar colors. And then the last pieces of the shatter mirror reassembled themselves. Her mom and dad, their faces no longer a blur, their names returning in unison. Tonraq and Senna.
Strong names. Names that filled her with a warmth that even Asami couldn't quite provide yet. Those were her first memories, the first people this face had seen, had smiled at, and they made her smile an awful lot. They were the last memories to return sadly, but they were back now, they were hers now. Zaheer had tried to purge everything she'd ever known, all the people she'd ever cared about. But their light was too bright, their flames burned too fiercely, and Zaheer would never be able to truly extinguish them. He'd underestimated her severely.
Korra was nothing without the people that had supported her along the way, had risked their lives for her cause. She was the sum of their efforts, of their love.
Asami had given her the last piece of herself. She was actively trying to bring Korra back to her senses as well as keep the escape plan going. Asami was amazing. Asami was everything. She loved Asami.
Korra started to cry a little at that realisation, even though it'd been swimming in her head for weeks. Now it started to truly sink it. She'd do whatever it took to get Asami out of here and away from the Red Lotus, even if it meant obeying Zaheer, even if it meant giving her own life.
"Keep it in your pocket, don't let Zaheer or anyone else see it," Asami warned. "Think of it as a good luck charm, my gift from me to you." That was followed by another subtle wink which made Korra smile again as she rubbed at her eyes before any more tears were allowed to fall.
"...yeh...Zaheer's not exactly the number one fan of nationhood or borders or anything like that. He'd yank this off me in a second," Korra replied lightly as she slipped the armband into her pocket for now. Later, she'd put it below her cloak, on her forearm, where it was meant to be. She hoped it would bring more luck to Asami than herself. "But you didn't have to get me that...after the damage I did to your nose, I owe you about a million things."
Asami shook her head firmly, looking at her with that same affection which made Korra's blood feel like fire and ice in the same moment. It made her feel alive. "That wasn't your fault, it was mine." How could she possibly say that? It was all Korra's fault. That terrible guilt was numbed a little a few seconds later when Korra felt fingers brushing against hers and then suddenly Asami was holding her whole hand, entwining their fingers together. That really made her heart pound.
Korra squeezed back with all of her strength, hoping to pour all of her love for Asami, all of her support, into one simple gesture. It wouldn't be enough, it'd never be enough, but it was all she could manage right now. If they got of here together, Asami would get to experience all of that fully, if she could ever find it in herself to forgive the Avatar. If Korra could ever find it in herself to toss away the guilt which ate away at her insides every time she looked at Asami's face, at her nose. It was scarred a little. A little red line running across the bridge.
A constant reminder.
"Get a room," Ming-Hua hissed behind them and Asami bristled.
Korra couldn't hold herself back. "This seems pretty room like to me." Asami abruptly released the grip on her hand and Korra felt herself frowning at the sudden lack of contact. Later. Patience.
"Zaheer's pet or not, I'll cut you up if you decide to speak to me like that again," Ming-Hua warned with a blade of ice.
Korra took a defensive step in front of Asami, prepared to block any water that came their way.
"Nice to see you three getting along so well." Ghazan. Korra eyed him with distrust as he entered the cavern.
"Could I go back to my cell for the night?" Asami asked politely. Of course, she was probably pretty tired after such a long day. Or maybe there was another reason.
"Uhuh, you did some good work today," Ghazan replied casually. "Can't promise it'll be an early morning tomorrow. I've got a lot of whisky left."
"You don't have to drink it all in one sitting," Ming-Hua pointed out coldly.
Ghazan simply smirked. "Yes I do."
"Night," Asami bowed respectfully. Ghazan nodded his head slightly but Ming-Hua eyed Asami with disdain. Why does that water freak have such a problem with her?
Korra ignored them all as she skipped passed them. The least she could do was give Asami a good night hug if she wasn't going to spend the night with her like they'd done several times when staying in Zaofu. She really missed those peaceful, happy nights.
Asami looked a little surprised, but pulled Korra in anyway. Little did she know of Korra's slightly ulterior motives with this hug. Whilst Korra's head rested on her friend's shoulder she took the opportunity to glance downwards, to Asami's back pockets on her pants subtly. Swear I'm not checking out your butt. Swear I'm not checking your butt. Well...maybe a little...
Sure enough there was the slightest bulge in the maroon material. Batteries. It had to be spare batteries. Asami was just as cunning as Korra had hoped. That in turn meant the escape plan must've been continuing. It would only be a couple more days surely until Asami had completed her work, and they could leave. Leave together. Safe.
"Good night, Sato," Korra smiled against Asami's cheek. Good luck, Sato.
"This is taking too long, Korra – Korra, listen to me – I can't get this done in time," Asami muttered frantically as she drove the plasma saw into the platinum, her face showing all the strain of holding the rather haphazard cutting tool. Despite her panic, it did feel very good to be able to say Korra's name again, out loud, even if Korra didn't actually seem to be listening. Or at least couldn't hear her.
"Rei!" Asami shouted louder this time. Korra's airbending wasn't the only noise problem any more. The wind had really picked up in the last few minutes as a strong gust wafted up the escape hole from deep below them. Asami was glad she tied her hair up these days.
"What?! What's wrong?!" Korra called in panic as she continued flowing the air around them.
"It's taking too long..." Asami repeated with a firm shake of her head.
Korra smiled at her reassuringly. "You'll get it done. I know you'll get out of here. Keep going."
Asami shook her head again, not in disagreement though, to psyche herself up a little. Get her head in the game as it were. Just treat this like fixing up a car. Fixing up an engine. Patience is the key. She continued cutting, Korra nodding as she turned her back to her, moving her muscular arms this way and that.
About 20 minutes passed as Asami continued to cut, feeling droplets of sweat form on her forehead from the heat the plasma saw generated as it cut through the metal floor, inch by painstaking inch. It was still taking far too long, and Korra had to be growing tired from all that airbending, but she wasn't showing signs of any strain. She wasn't giving up. I can't give up either. Not yet. Not after everything we've done, been forced to do.
"Avatar Rei! Open this door!" a voice boomed outside the cell. Asami felt her blood turn to ice as she powered down the plasma saw and dragged the bed back to its usual position. Zaheer.
Korra gave her a concerned glance. She stopped airbending and stepped over to Asami, kneeling down on the floor in front of her. "Still too small?" Korra asked softly.
All Asami could do was nod slowly, unable to meet Korra's eyes.
"Then remember what I told you. Keep cutting. I'll hold Zaheer and the others off. Escape, don't wait for me," Korra commanded more than suggested as her hands firmly gripped Asami's shoulders.
"No," Asami shook her head again, pulling Korra back to the floor when she tried to step away towards the exit.
"Avatar Rei! Open this door now!"
"Listen to me Asami, please listen. If Zaheer comes in here, he'll find that hole, and you'll be executed. I can't allow that," Korra stated resolutely as she slid her hands up from Asami's shoulders to cup under her jaw softly. Korra's intense blue eyes bore into Asami's soul.
She swallowed hard whilst clinging onto Korra's wrists. "No. I won't...I can't...Korra... please don't do this...I can't lose you..."
"I can't lose you," Korra repeated sternly. "This is the only way. You promised me Asami, don't go back on that now. Promises to the Avatar are sacred." Was Korra really trying to be funny? Now of all times? No – that was just part of her charm.
Before Asami even got another just to put a word in edgeways Korra silenced her in the most decisive and wonderful way possible.
She kissed her.
An incredibly chaste kiss which could have only lasted two seconds, but it'd been on the lips. Right on the lips. Korra had kissed her. Asami felt like she was about to pass out from happiness. It'd been the best kiss of her life and it'd only lasted two seconds, with so much love and strength of feeling. She needed more. A lot more.
But it was all stripped away an instant later as Korra sprung upwards. "Goodbye, Asami."
She was out of the cell before Asami had even taken another breath, closing the door firmly behind her. "No...no you don't!" Asami pulled and hauled on the door, but it felt like it'd been locked such was its resistance. Had Korra metal bent the lock, even just a little bit? As far as Asami knew it was the only part of her cell that wasn't made of platinum, because it didn't need to be. It required a key to be opened. Korra's Avatar designed cell was a different story.
Asami pulled open the small hatch on the cell door which was used to pass food inside. She spotted Korra stood on the other side, Zaheer and several members of the Red Lotus, including Ghazan stood across from her. There had to be at least a dozen of them.
"Did you find out the truth of the matter, Rei?" Zaheer questioned, having to raise his voice above the wind.
Korra nodded slowly. "Yes. Sato killed Ming-Hua in self defence, as she already told you."
Ghazan bristled at those words. "Lies! Let me speak to her!"
Zaheer stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. "It makes no difference. The truth is important of course, but the punishment is the same for such a crime. Death is the only outcome." Korra clenched her fists. "Execute the traitor, Rei."
Korra didn't respond as Zaheer's dark brows narrowed. "Go into her cell and execute her. You are a sister of the Red Lotus, this is your destiny."
"There's no such thing," Korra replied coldly.
Zaheer's eyes widened, he waved his hand to several of the nearby Red Lotus. "That's an order, Rei."
"I don't remember any part of the Red Lotus code saying I had to listen to you, a wannabe airbender."
Zaheer gritted his teeth and shook his head sadly. "Such wasted potential. You could have changed the world, Rei."
"I already have changed the world," Korra pointed out smugly. "I didn't need to bathe it in fire and blood to do it."
"Shoot her," Zaheer ordered.
A series of darts were launched forward from all sides of the room, but Korra was quick, sending several of them shooting into the roof of the cave with a gust of air and dodging the rest with a quick roll to the side. Korra didn't miss a trick, raising herself into a crouch position and sending a wall of earth into several of the Red Lotus stood nearby.
"Get her!" Zaheer boomed.
But Korra formed yet another wall of earth, this one thicker than the last, she clenched her fists with a strain as it was pulled and hauled at from the other side. Korra turned her head to Asami briefly. "Keep going Asami!" She was forced to turn away a second later as the earth wall was blasted to pieces by bright orange liquid. Ghazan.
Korra tried to deflect the lava away, bouncing on her feet to avoid the liquid as best she could, but she'd never lava bent before, and she was seriously struggling to redirect the stuff, or manipulate it all. Ghazan's considerable experience with the skill allowed him to take full control as he forced Korra into a more narrow section of the room.
Korra continued to fire wave after wave of different elemental attacks forward, slowing down the approach of the Red Lotus, and certainly knocking out a few of the sentries, but not the more experienced members who pressed forward inch by inch.
Ghazan tossed his trademark lava disc directly at Korra's torso, the ragged edges narrowly avoiding ripping into Korra's hips as she hopped to the side and batted it down with another gust of air. She lost her footing a second later when Zaheer send a wave of air crashing into Korra's front, winding the Avatar as Korra stumbled forward with a gasp, but still managed to stay on her feet.
"Fire again!"
Korra hadn't managed to readjust her stance yet, still incredibly off balance as another dart came flying at her. She raised a metal bracer covered arm up to block it, a gift from the Red Lotus uniform, and the dart bounced off of the hard material harmlessly.
Zaheer let out a yelp of pain as Korra shot another piece of her armour forward with a sharp flick of her hands, catching the Red Lotus leader on his cheek as blood trickled down his face.
Another series of darts, another series of deflections on Korra's part with the various pieces of metal which were bound to her black Red Lotus cloak. She moved as though she was dancing through Tenzin's ancient airbending gates. A leaf in the wind.
But Korra could only move so fast without the assistance of the Avatar State, and eventually one of the barrage hit its mark, implanting itself into the side of Korra's neck.
It only took one. It'd only taken that many to bring Asami down in the desert.
Korra gritted her teeth as she slumped to her knees, sending a much less powerful gust of air at her fast approaching enemies. It did make a couple of them fall over, but not Zaheer, and not Ghazan, who marched forward relentlessly.
"She's done, put her in chains and get the injured to our healers," Zaheer commanded as he stopped in front of Korra who had now fallen fully on her front. She reached out a trembling arm to grab at the bottom of Zaheer's leg and dug her fingers in. Again, he yelped out in pain, kicking Korra in the side of the head as he tried to shake off her grip.
"Not done yet..." Korra slurred weakly as she tried to push herself back to her feet, getting to her knees at the very least. Zaheer pressed a foot firmly against her spine and pushed Korra back down into the dirt with some force. He kept her in place.
"I guess not, another dart please," Zaheer motioned with a wave.
Korra wasn't able to fight this one as it was shot into the back of her leg. She slumped into the dirt again and twisted her head weakly, to face Asami's cell. She smiled weakly when she spotted Asami watching through the hatch. "Go..." Korra mouthed silently before she closed her eyes over slowly.
Two guards pulled Korra to her feet roughly, attaching chains to her ankles and wrists a moment later. She looked strangely peaceful...and Asami wanted to hit her on the head for it. For not staying with her. For locking her in here.
"What about Sato?" Ghazan grumbled as he looked across to the cell. Asami closed the hatch over quickly.
"We'll deal with her later. Keep two guards on watch, the rest of us must be present for the end of the Avatar," Zaheer advised sternly. "Get her to the chamber now."
"So much for your fucking blank canvas," Ghazan spat as he barged his way past Zaheer.
The end of the Avatar...what were they going to do to Korra exactly? Nothing good.
When the bulk of the guards had moved away Asami started to kick at the door of her cell with every ounce of strength remaining. She timed each hit with the increasingly gusty winds to mask the sound, and the two remaining guards definitely hadn't heard it.
The door didn't budge one inch, even after dozens of hits. Asami's limbs were growing ever more tired as she tried to focus in on one particular area of the door, the weakest section, and rammed her whole body into it. The door rattled a little, but it was no where close to flying off the hinges like Asami was envisioning.
So she picked up the plasma saw, now very low on juice...enough left for the door, or for finishing the job on the floor. There was only ever one choice.
"Screw it," Asami muttered as she began to cut away at the hinges of the door, timing it with gusts once more. The hole would take too to complete, bringing down the door would take much less time. There was no getting out of this room by the original plan.
Trying to prevent Korra from suffering at Zaheer's hand seemed like a much better use of the remaining power in the saw.
Author Notes:
Wasn't that chapter just like a ridiculous amount of highs and lows? Definitely the hardest for me to write personally, and not just because it's freakin long. This is pretty much the last chapter before what I would describe as the beginning of the series finale, so the book 3 finale sort of.
Things I give myself permission to freak out about:
-OMFGGG KORRASAMI KISS
-OMFGG KORRA LURVS SALAMI
-I feel terrible for both of them, but the fact that Korra pretty much locked Asami in so that she couldn't intervene in the confrontation with Zaheer, because lets face it she totally would have, in order to protect her. It just makes me feel a lot of things.
-The fact that after the beating scene, Korra vows never to hurt Asami like that again, because it would just be too much for her heart and mind to take it. And she has kept to that vow for the rest of the fic. It does suck that Korra can now barely look Asami in the face without feeling a terrible pit of guilt for her actions.
-I thought it made sense that Zaheer's manipulation would mean that Korra's oldest memories were the first ones that she would loose, the most recent ones, the freshest memories, were much more easily recovered with time.
-I decided not to include the Earth Queen scene, because I felt like Korra's emotions were pretty clear in that incident, she ended up passing out from the guilt and the horror, so pretty clear.
-I love the irony in the fact that Korra was able to defend herself against the Red Lotus darts for a lot longer because of the uniform they had given her with the metal guards. I do love some poetic justice, and I also though it was hella impressive that she was even able to pull herself to her feet after one, we saw how effective they were in Zaofu.
-I am stupidly happy with that chapter title.
-Next up is the season finale which will be over four chaptersish. Please leave your thoughts and general rants below, anything is appreciated. I know how many of you follow this story now so don't leave me hanging xD The more feedback I get, the more likely I put out the next chapter quickly.
-Thanks for reading!