Chapter 18

What up my glib globs? Back at it again after a few weeks. Apologies for that. Real life (conventions) got in the way.
Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

"I saw Korra in Ba Sing Se, with the Red Lotus. She was unconscious. But she was with them, in their uniform and everything..." Mako muttered softly whilst he sipped at a large mug of coffee. He'd entered the small infirmary room a few minutes after Kya had finished checking her patient's current condition.

Not much had changed. Korra was still asleep, for two days now. Luckily they'd be landing in Republic City soon enough where she could receive proper medical care. The airship's medical inventory wasn't designed to deal with the seriousness of Korra's many injuries, only broken bones and minor wounds. Without Kya's healing skills and expertise, it was unlikely that Korra would still be breathing.

Asami didn't look directly at Mako as he spoke. He'd been awkwardly silent until now, his current tone clearly suggested he wanted to know everything that had happened over the last few weeks, and Asami was no where close to organizing all of that information to even try to explain it. She hadn't even told them about the whole airbending thing yet. It hadn't seemed of much importance, especially given the powerful sensation hadn't returned since.

"...I know I can't even begin to understand what happened in that place. What you had to do to survive. Honestly...I can't believe you're both here, intact." Asami narrowed her eyes as she looked across to Korra. Mako grimaced. "Well not quite intact – but alive none the less. I doubt many people the Red Lotus have held prisoner can say the same."

"Because they're dead, dead people don't have much to say," Asami snapped quickly before rubbing her eyes frantically. Her sleep had been plagued with nightmares, feelings of suffocation, flashes of Zaheer's face, and of Korra, when she was Rei. Her expression was cold and unforgiving, like a predator eyeing up its pray. It was the switch that was the most disturbing. One minute, Korra would be smiling warmly, her old self, the next her gaze was that of daggers. Piercing and horrific.

"True enough..." Mako muttered with a hand in his hair. His sharp features softened slightly. "Asami...you know you can talk to me, about anything. I won't blame you for doing whatever you did to survive. There's plenty of things I did when I was younger that turn my stomach now...but I wanted to keep Bolin safe, make sure he had something to eat every day. That meant doing less than legal things."

"How about killing someone...?" Asami asked quietly, glancing across to him with wide eyes.

"Eventually that would've happened. I was lucky we found Pro-bending when we did, put as much distance between me and The Triads as possible. If you and Korra hadn't shown up not long after...I could've ended up back there trying to make ends meat," Mako explained grimly. "...do you regret killing who you did?"

"No, Ming-Hua was in my way, she would've ruined everything," Asami answered instantly. "I'd do it again if I had to."

"Me too," Mako agreed, though his eyes were much wider than before. He probably didn't think Asami was capable of doing something so extreme. "To keep Bolin safe, I'd do anything. Doesn't mean to say I have to like doing it. Like I said...you can only clean your hands so much. Some things will stay with you forever." He glanced towards Korra. "The important thing is that you don't regret it. Then you know you didn't make a mistake, that it was the right thing to do."

"I don't think I'm a good judge of right and wrong anymore, if I ever was," Asami admitted with a heavy sigh. She tightened her grip on Korra's bandaged up hand.

"Protecting the people we love from harm is never wrong," Mako stated firmly before he leaned back in his chair with a yawn.

"And you still love Korra, right?" Asami asked with a raised eyebrow. She kept her tone soft, it wasn't a challenge or meant to be malicious. She genuinely wanted to know.

Mako twitched profusely in the chair. His mouth hung open incredulously for a few seconds, staring right at Asami, before he shook his head frantically. "I mean – I do – but I'm not – you know – I'm not in love with her – if that's what you're asking. I was, for a long time, a really long time. But things change...it wasn't meant to be. Some people just don't work together, others do. Tends to be the less obvious ones." He stopped looking at Asami and stared at Korra who shifted slightly in the bed.

Does he...does he know? Asami was fairly sure that Tonraq had almost figured it out, mainly because Asami hadn't exactly held back her affection for his daughter. Whenever she went off to a proper bed for a few hours instead of straining her neck in the chair, she kissed Korra's forehead goodnight. She'd talk to her too, about anything. Tonraq actively encouraged the talking – he firmly believed that Korra could hear everything in her comatose state. He'd sing to her sometimes, lullabies from when she was a baby in the water tribe. Those would often lull Asami into a sleep too.

Asami decided to avoid the topic with Mako for now. She wasn't hundred percent sure how he'd take it, and drama was the last thing her tortured, sleep deprived mind needed at the moment. He'd find out eventually. If Korra would just wake up. ...please...I need you...

"Could you ummm...go out of cop mode for the moment?" Asami asked hesitantly, she pulled up Korra's blanket slightly which had slipped down a little from her body twisting in sleep. Dreaming perhaps...

Mako's brows narrowed in confusion. "Cop mode? I have a cop mode?" Asami nodded firmly with a light smile. He smiled back. "Alright – cop mode off. Just regular, every day, firebending street rat, Mako. At your service." His choice of words were clearly meant to be playful, but it only made Asami grimace. That was how Hiroshi Sato had described him after her father's true intentions had came to light.

"This has all got to be off the record, just between us, swear it," Asami insisted seriously.

"I swear, on my life," Mako replied quickly before swallowing hard. "On Bolin's life. I think you know how serious a vow that is."

Asami felt guilty at needing that level of assurance...but after what had happened with Korra in the caves, she needed that kind of commitment to trust in someone again. Trusting people had become so difficult, and for a while, she'd lost her faith in Mako. His absolute determination in searching for them had restored a lot of that broken trust, but it wasn't fully intact yet.

"Korra...Zaheer tried to make her into his own weapon, make her forget who she was, but it didn't work. She played along with him anyway, to keep us both safe, and that meant doing things...things I don't know she'll ever be able to move past once she wakes up..." Asami admitted sadly as she ran a finger across the scar on her nose unconsciously. "I don't have all the details. There wasn't exactly a lot of time for Korra to explain everything, but I think that about sums it up."

"You're not telling me everything Asami..." Mako noted softly. "You can trust me with this. What did Korra do?"

"I think she killed the Earth Queen." The beating...that is something I have to discuss with Korra first.

Mako looked like he was about to throw up. "Chief Beifong told me the person who killed the Queen set her on fire before crushing her skull...that sounds way too cold for Korra. Are you sure about this?"

Asami nodded regretfully. "She was sobbing when she told me, it was right before she-"

"Right before she what?" Kissed me.

"Told me the truth...like I said, I don't have all the details. Only Korra does. I just – I can't imagine she'd go that far, murder someone in cold blood. Even someone as horrible as the Earth Queen, there has to be more to it," Asami muttered, feeling something pull very lightly at her hand.

"There must be..." Mako agreed with a tremble. There was a knock at the door. "We keep this between ourselves for now, until we know exactly what went down." He got up quickly to answer the door. "Who is it?"

Kuvira pulled it open before Mako had reached it. "Chief Beifong wants to see you in the conference room, security preparations regarding some of the airbending refugees taken from Ba Sing Se. Apparently President Raiko is now willing to take them in Republic City. I guess there isn't much of the Earth Queen left to argue with about the United Republic harbouring Earth Kingdom criminals."

"More like clutching at straws to boost his PR," Mako grumbled. "I take it Korra's exile from the city is over?"

Kuvira smiled bitterly. "Yeah...Raiko turning away a seriously injured Avatar really wouldn't do him any favours."

"I won't let Korra's current condition be used by Raiko to improve his image with the public. He was the one who kicked Korra out," Asami stated angrily. Her stern demeanour was stripped away a heartbeat later when she yawned loudly. Mako and Kuvira exchanged a concerned glance, he muttered something quietly into her ear to which Kuvira nodded in understanding.

Mako looked to Asami briefly before exiting, a knowing glimmer in his amber eyes. He hadn't told Kuvira anything about the Earth Queen then.

Kuvira leaned against the door frame calmly. She was dressed in a white vest and dark green pants, her hair wasn't even in its trade mark braid. It was strange, seeing the captain of Zaofu without her metal armour. She didn't look so invincible now. Vulnerable even. Asami couldn't help but wonder what kind of woman she would've been if Suyin hadn't taken her as a child, what her life had been before then. It was probably not a whole lot different to Mako's childhood. No wonder they get on so well...

"You can go to bed you know. There's a whole list of people who could take your place right now. Bolin won't stop offering actually," Kuvira explained, still keeping to the edge of the room.

Asami smiled a little at that. "Are you volunteering?"

Kuvira screwed up her face. "What? No – No, I – I – I'm not good at this sort of thing. I don't really have the patience. Besides, I think she needs to be with someone she knows right now. That's what I'd want if I was in Korra's position." Asami nodded in understanding before mentally preparing herself for the pain that was bound to shoot through her when she stood. All those bumps and bruises hadn't made sleeping any easier. "One of your employees has been radioing the airship since we got into range, the head of your board of directors or something. They wanted to speak to you."

"What did you say?"

"That you'd speak to them when we got to Republic City. That you're in no fit state to discuss Future Industries matters at this moment in time," Kuvira replied with a smirk. "He ended the transmission pretty quickly after that."

Asami smiled in appreciation. Future Industries was the last thing on her mind at the moment. "Thank you. If you could keep Korra company while I fetch Bolin, that'd be great."

Kuvira nodded awkwardly before stretching out a hand. "Can you walk okay?"

"Okay would be a bit of an exaggeration, but I can manage," Asami grimaced as she started to rise from her chair. "I have to."

Kuvira seemed to understand that sentiment through and through, such was the sudden seriousness of her expression.

Before Asami was able to shift away from the bed entirely she felt something pull at her hand again, much more strongly than before. The first time had been so faint she thought she'd been imagining it. But this time...

"Korra...?" Asami croaked as she dropped back into the chair, leaning into the bed and examining Korra's expression frantically. Her eyes were still firmly closed, but her breathing had changed, and she was groaning very quietly. Had she awoken from her comatose state?

"What's going on?" Kuvira asked in alarm and she darted across the room.

"I think she's waking up..." Asami answered distantly, all of her attention, every one of her senses focused on the dark haired girl in the bed. "Go get Kya!" Kuvira disappeared instantly. At least she was as good at following orders as delivering them.

Asami tried to keep her emotions in check, her tears at bay, as she pressed the back of a hand against Korra's forehead. The cloth draped there was extremely hot. Maybe from a fever. Being in ice and cold water for so long would definitely do that. The Avatar was muttering something unintelligible. Asami removed the rag from her head, replacing it with a much cooler cloth. She couldn't help herself from brushing some stray hairs behind Korra's ears.

"Korra...can you hear me?" Asami asked softly, leaning her head in to optimise the chances of Korra hearing her voice. "If you can...just say...say something...anything will do...I really don't care if you burp in my face right now. That'd be great actually. Pretty sure you can do that, just channel your inner Meelo."

Normally, Korra would've laughed at such crude humour, especially coming from Asami's normally polite mouth. Instead, Korra's eyes remained firmly locked in deep sleep. Did I imagine it then?

"So maybe you can't talk...maybe it was a fluke. Listen to be carefully, Korra. If you can hear me, squeeze my hand twice," Asami murmured softly. Instantly, she felt fingers pressing into her hand weakly, two times, no more, no less. Asami smiled in relief. Not a fluke then. "Great job, I'll need to stop gossiping about you in the room from now on. Or at least tell your dad to hold back on embarrassing childhood stories."

Asami swore Korra's scarred lips curled up into a smirk before settling back down to a more vacant expression. "Kuvira's taking longer than I thought she would, so I'm gonna go see what's happening. I'll be back in a minute, promise."

When Asami hauled herself up to leave the chair, the grip on her hand tightened considerably, desperately. So much so that Korra's fingernails dug into the pale skin of her palm. Asami dropped back down immediately, squeezing Korra's hand in reassurance. Her lips were quivering feverishly, as though trying to speak. Korra appeared to mouth the words please stay, but it was difficult to tell, before groaning quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere yet," Asami cooed as she examined Korra's face for any glimpses of movement, she was gritting her teeth a little. "Does something hurt? Squeeze my hand once for yes."

One squeeze.

"Then you've got to let me go and get-"

The door slamming open behind them made Asami spin around, readying herself to attack immediately. She hadn't really come down from that state of constant alertness which had become second nature during her time with the Red Lotus.

"Everything okay?" Kya asked calmly as she made her way over to bedside.

"I think she's waking up," Asami explained with a tremble as she peered around the grey haired woman. "What's going on? Why did Kuvira take so long to fetch you?"

Kya avoided her gaze when she spoke. "We just got some garbled message through the airship radio..."

"From who?"

Kya pulled some healing water from a nearby bowl and hovered it above Korra, scanning every inch of her body. "They said something about loose ends...but the transmission was full of interference. It could've been anything, it might not have even been for this airship. We're very close to Republic City, there's bound to be hundreds of radio signals going back and forth."

Asami's eyes widened considerably. "It's the Red Lotus."

"We don't know that – it could've been anything. Besides, there aren't many of them left. All their leaders died back in the Earth Kingdom. They aren't a threat anymore."

"You don't know that – you can't know that!" Asami replied sharply. "What if it's Zaheer?! Or P'Li?! Any of them are dangerous!"

Kya silenced her with two firm hands on her shoulders. "You know both those people are dead. The Red Lotus were practically dismantled by your hands." Her blue eyes narrowed. "Asami – have you been sleeping at all?"

"Kinda..." she shrugged before shaking off Kya's grip. "But I'm not the priority here. Korra's in pain right now, I don't know where. Treat her first, then when can talk about me."

Kya nodded slowly before raising the glowing sheen of healing water again. "Korra, it's Kya. I'm going to run this healing water over you. When I hit the place that's the most painful, I want you to squeeze Asami's hand."

Korra grunted incoherently, but didn't make any move to grip Asami's hand more tightly as Kya moved the water. "Please don't be stubborn now," Asami warned. Again, Korra grunted in reply, sounding somewhere between incredulous and irritated. "Let Kya help you."

"Help me turn her over," Kya asked after finishing a thorough scan of Korra's front.

Asami complied immediately, gripping the upper half of Korra's body whilst Kya took charge of her lower half. "On my count, slowly," Kya murmured calmly. Asami nodded quickly, but she couldn't keep her hands steady like Kya. "Three, two, one."

Korra cried out in pain at being shifted so much, despite how gentle the movement was. "Sorry," Asami muttered quickly before gasping in shock. The white sheet below Korra's back was stained with fresh maroon liquid. "What's going on?!"

"Get some fresh towels," Kya ordered. She started pressing a hand firmly against a small dark circle on Korra's skin which was streaming with fresh blood. "She seems to have developed a blood clot on her back which has ruptured, I'll need to seal it up again." Asami passed her towels a second later with still trembling hands. Kya was a stark contrast, remarkably calm. Guess that's what you get when you combine an airbender and waterbender together.

"Press this towel firmly against here," Kya indicated. Asami complied immediately, feel warm liquid against her palms. "Keep that pressure up until I tell you to move the towel. I'll seal up the wound." She turned to prepare more healing water.

"Will that still work?" Asami asked anxiously, trying to keep Korra still.

"Yes, it's not been open too long, I should still be able to close it over without needing stitches," Kya assured softly. "Once we land in Republic City I can give her some medication to thin her blood, prevent more blood clots. For now, we'll just need to keep a closer eye on her."

"Yeah – yeah, okay," Asami muttered, staring at Kya desperately. She wasn't good at this sort of thing at all. Engines didn't complain when they were tinkered with. They didn't feel pain.

"Don't worry, you're doing a great job," Kya assured once again before walking over with a fresh bowl of healing water. "Ready?" Asami nodded very slowly. "On the count of three."

"One, two, three."

Asami stepped away immediately, allowing Kya to take her place. It only took the grey haired woman 20 seconds or so to completely seal up the rupture. When she removed her calloused hands, all that remained on Korra's skin was an incredibly thin red line, barely visible to the naked eye. It probably didn't matter anyway. Just another scar for a steadily building collection. The only solace Asami could take in all those marks was that she hadn't been the one to inflict any of them. That was all the Red Lotus.

"What if her blood clots again?"

Kya wiped Asami's bloodied hands clean with a damp cloth before placing a firm hand on her shoulder. "Then we'll deal with it, like we've dealt with everything else that's been thrown at us so far. A little blood clot really isn't much to worry about. I've dealt with plenty of them in my time." She tilted her head to the Avatar. "She probably has too, being a healer."

Asami smiled a little at that before crouching down to Korra's level. She seemed to be much less irritated now, her breathing much more even. However, she was still somewhere between consciousness and sleep. "She healed me too, back in that place," Asami recalled quietly as she ran a hand through Korra's hair. Kya took a seat beside her, listening intently. Asami felt a desperate urge to tell this woman everything that had happened. What Korra had done to her. It was becoming difficult to swallow all of that pain. She needed to talk it out properly, with Korra ideally, but there was no telling when the Avatar would be in any state to hold a conversation.

"Your nose, I take it," Kya presumed more than questioned.

"How did you know?"

"The healing job is a little haphazard. My mom would complain about Korra's lack of patience when she was trying to teach her more advanced healing techniques back in the south. She picked up the basics alright, but never developed the delicacy required to cleanly heal injuries without leaving a scar," Kya explained softly. "I suppose precise bending isn't so easy when you have all the power in the world at your disposal."

"She bent a really small metal lock easy enough," Asami replied bitterly. "She's not the same girl you knew in the south. Not even the one I met less than a year ago in Republic City. She's changed."

"For the better?"

"Absolutely," Asami nodded. "She's more patient now that ever. The Korra who took on Amon wouldn't have been able to play and fool the Red Lotus, Zaheer especially, the way she did. She even had me fooled for a long time, normally I'm pretty good at reading people."

"Maybe she'd take to my mom's training a lot better these days," Kya suggested with another warm smile.

"Maybe..." Asami replied distantly. She hadn't really thought about Korra being anywhere else than in Republic City to recover...but who better to help her than Master Katara? Korra would have to go back home, to her true home. Asami would follow her, if Korra's parents allowed it, if Korra herself agreed. But maybe she wouldn't...after everything that had happened...maybe Korra would want some time alone, away from all possible reminders of what happened to her.

Perhaps Asami would need the same. Without the threat of death at her back, her brain had been given a chance to think, to go over everything she'd shoved firmly to the back of her mind in order to survive. Now...all those dark thoughts, all those moments she'd been afraid of Korra and the others, were allowed to bubble back to the surface. Silence really wasn't bliss in this case.

How would she possibly cope back in the normality of Republic City? With nothing to distract her from all those painful memories? The threat of death really was a good distraction, and now that was gone. She'd be forced to process everything again.I'll need to take up some illegal drag racing or something...

"Asami..." a voice muttered from the bed, so quiet that neither herself or Kya reacted to it at first.

"Asami..."

This time, Asami did turn her head, spotting a bright blue eye peering at her from the bed. Her heart pounded frantically.

Korra tried to lift her head up, but to no avail. Her body was still incredibly weakened from the poison.

"Good nap?" Asami smiled through tears as she lowered herself down to hug Korra from behind, always mindful of the wound on her back. That didn't some Korra from grunting uncomfortably from the contact, her body probably much more sensitive to pain that Asami could possibly be aware of.

"Not really," Korra replied quietly. Her pupils weren't quite focusing. "I feel like I've been sleeping in the boot of a Sato-mobile for days on end. Everything's really, really stiff."

"Technically a block of ice," Kya added.

Korra raised a confused brow at that before she tried to push herself up by her violently shaking elbows. Asami held her down in fear that she'd break yet more bones. "Hold on a sec, we'll turn you back over, if that's what you want."

"...What? I can't do it myself?" Korra replied incredulously before trying to move once again with a pain filled cry. She dropped back into the sheets with a frustrated groan, her eyes suddenly widening in panic, finally out of the post sleep haze she'd been in. "Why can't I feel my legs?" I'm so sorry...

Kya and Asami exchanged a concern glance. Asami had absolutely no clue how to approach this topic. Anything she said was bound to devastate her friend. She prayed that Kya would find a kind way to reveal the extent of Korra's injuries. "Zaheer's poison did a lot of internal damage, as well as your trip through the caves. Your body has taken a pretty severe battering, even by Avatar standards." Korra's eyes darted to Asami anxiously at the mention of the caves.

The Avatar looked back to Kya. "Will I walk again...?"

"In time," Kya smiled hopefully. "You're strong. Already trying to push yourself. I have no doubt, actually." She tapped Korra's arm. "It'll be a long recovery I'm afraid. Lots of physical rehabilitation. Patience will be key."

"Don't start to talk like your younger brother please," Korra groaned before suddenly twisting herself over with a powerful jerk, now collapsing onto her back instead of her front. She'd done it so quickly that Asami hadn't got a chance to stop her. The reckless move didn't come without a price however as Korra gritted her teeth furiously, trying to suppress yet another cry of pain.

"Don't be such a stubborn idiot!" Asami chastised with tears burning in her eyes. "You're barely even here, okay?! Do anything stupid now and you might not..."

"Might not what? Walk again? Are you trying to sugar coat this for me?" Korra questioned with a raised eyebrow, her frustrated glare darting between the two women beside her. "If I can't walk again, then I might as well not be here. An Avatar who can't walk is even more useless than one who can't bend. Guess Zaheer got what he wanted after all, just not the way he expected it."

Kya's eyes widened considerably at those words. "Your time as the Avatar is not-"

Asami interrupted before she could finish. She couldn't quite believe Korra had just said something so pessimistic and final, with so little emotion or concern. "Are you so desperate to die, Korra? Is that why you did what you did in the caves?"

"You know why I did that, to save you," Korra argued back, though there were tears starting to build in her eyes. "I didn't think I'd be around afterwards to have to justify it. What does it matter now anyway...we're both alive, right?"

Asami closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. "I trusted you. It wasn't so easy to do after..." She couldn't finish that sentence without feeling like her throat was about to close up.

Korra glanced guiltily at Asami's nose before wrenching her head downwards, unable to look her in the eye.

"I made it clear that I was willing to die with you," Asami continued, trying to keep her own tears at bay.

"Now look who's so desperate to die..." Korra murmured to herself. A basic Korra defence. Turn the argument back on the other person to avoid the previous topic.

Asami ignored those frustration fuelled words. "You won't even look me in the eye when you speak to me. Korra. Korra look at me."

Korra shook her head and closed her eyes, murmuring something to herself over and over again. There were definitely tears falling down her cheeks.

"Korra, look at me, please..." Asami asked more desperately this time, all the aggression gone from her voice. That only seemed to make Korra shake more as she buried her face in a pillow.

"Korra, I already told you I for-"

Kya placed a firm hand on her shoulder. "I think it's best that you leave for the moment, for both of your sakes." She leaned her head in a little to whisper, so that Korra wouldn't hear. "She'll come around eventually. Waking up to this kind of news has got to be confusing and devastating, especially for a girl as headstrong as Korra. Don't take anything she says to heart right now, or you'll end up saying something you'll regret."

Asami nodded her head reluctantly, wiping away any stray tears. Not exactly the reunion she'd been dreaming of. They were both broken people now. A dangerous combination. She wanted to hit Zaheer again. Tear him to shreds for this. For ruining everything.

"I'll be in my room if you need me, Korra."

The Avatar didn't respond, but Kya gave her a sympathetic smile as she exited.

Tonraq will be better company for Korra anyway. No reminders. No scars.

Ends Notes:

...Is it bad that I enjoy writing Korrasami arguments? I think we all knew that everything that went down between those two was bound to come out in a general bubble of explosions when Korra woke up, especially after Korra had just been given such terrible news. Also I think Asami's point about suddenly being in a calm environment makes a lot of sense. She's never had a chance to process all the terrible things she endured with the Red Lotus. Same with Korra, who can't even look Asami in the face from her guilt. They both have some pretty severe PTSD as a result.

Please leave your rants and ravings below! Always appreciated! And check out my humble tumble where I post regular chapter teases and general trash.
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