Chapter 19: The Business of Secrets
Asami had always found the atmosphere on Air Temple Island very calming, even when Meelo was clawing at her legs for attention, or Ikki was shrieking in her ears. It was a reminder that life went on, no matter what chaos occurred in the rest of the world. On top of that, it was a sign that people could endure. After all, for a long time these kids had carried the hopes of an nearly extinct nation. I have to endure too.
The walk between the main building of the temple where the airbenders ate and socialized and the healing hut was only about five minutes, but each time the journey felt more and more exhausting. Mainly because Asami knew exactly what she was going to find. The same Korra. Unresponsive, argumentative. One that wouldn't look her in the eye. She wondered if Senna got the same treatment.
Korra's mother had been staying on the island for the last two weeks, and though she'd tried her absolute best to hide it, it was clear that she was devastated by the state she'd found her daughter in. Bound to a wheelchair, body littered with new scars, and long brown hair now sitting a few inches below her chin. Asami had managed to avoid her for the most part. She didn't know how to speak to this woman, she didn't want to. All she would do is end up getting angry at Korra or more likely at herself. She saved Korra, yes. But not all of her. It was a salvage more than a rescue.
"Asami, are you going to go and see Korra?" a voice called brightly at her side. Jinora looked up at her with wide eyes.
Asami shook her head before reaching a hand down to rest on top of Jinora's shoulder. "I've just been. She's...she's just the same..." Jinora frowned at that. "But maybe you could go and see her? I'm sure she'd love that, and I think she needs some cheering up." You don't remind her of the Red Lotus.
"I will, a little later, I'm actually going to go and practice some of my airbending stances right now at the Baguazhang circle if you want to come?" Jinora asked softly as she look a light grip of Asami's hand. It was late enough in the day that there wouldn't be any other airbenders around, most would be eating. Right now, quiet was all Asami wanted.
"That'd be great."
Jinora wouldn't stop smiling as she led them there. Asami took a seat at the edge of the circle, giving the younger girl the space she needed to practice. Not that she needed to practice at all. Tenzin had recently anointed her a master of the element, meaning she'd be getting her tattoos very soon. Apparently, the temple they'd been staying at in the Earth Kingdom was attacked by the Earth Queen, and Jinora had led a group of inexperienced airbenders in repelling them. All those refugees from Ba Sing Se had been kept out of the Queen's clutches as a result. That'd happened before Asami had spoke to Jinora in the Spirit World.
"Are you not worried about shaving your head?" Asami asked playfully as she leaned back a little. The breeze from Jinora's movements as she pivoted back and forth blew Asami's hair softly now that she'd stopped tying it up, though she still carried the water tribe armband that had held it up previously, and the ragged blue shirt. That was back in her office in Future Industries.
"Not really," Jinora smiled. "It'll grow back quickly I'm sure. Plus, it'll totally be worth it. Ikki and Meelo will be so jealous, once they stop teasing me about looking like dad."
Asami laughed lightly. This was proving to be a good distraction from recent trouble with Korra and Future Industries. Some of her employees had tried to oust her from her position as CEO in her absence, whilst others had remained totally loyal. Mainly people from her father's time that she'd kept on, which was...a little confusing. Still. She'd give up the company if she had to. Right now, it really wasn't worth the stress. She needed to take a step back, focus on Korra.
"You're pretty spiritually tuned in, right?" Asami asked hesitantly. Jinora nodded firmly. "And you said something about my spiritual energy spiking in the Spirit World, not long before that monster attacked me..." She clenched her fists tightly. "I just – I need to know if this thing that happened is normal."
"Thing?" Jinora questioned with a quirk in her brow. She slowed down her intricate footwork slightly.
Asami opened up her fingers and moved her hands back and forth. "See, when I was with the Red Lotus. When Mako and the others came to rescue us, there was this, this crazy storm. It made the air feel alive, full of energy, and it kept sending these weird pulses of power down my arms. Like all my chi-paths were opening up or something." She punched her hand forward to demonstrate. "And when I – when I fought with Zaheer, I could airbend. Actually airbend., but I haven't been able to do it since."
Jinora stared at her with awe. "Airbending?" Asami shrugged. "...I mean...air nomads have always sought out spiritual enlightenment. It's why we meditate all the time, why I can project my own spirit and sense that of others. And opening the portals brought about a bunch of airbenders...so maybe increased spiritual energy equals airbending?"
"If that was true then everyone would be airbending right now," Asami reasoned. "The whole world's climate has changed with the portals opening."
Jinora pinched her brow. "Good point." She stopped her practice and stepped over to Asami, sitting down cross-legged in front of her. "So it's something more specific then. Specific to you." She closed her eyes and clasped her hands together, silently breathing for a solid minute before speaking again. "Your energy does feel different, but not any more than it did in the Spirit World. I guess you must have some airbender blood, somewhere along the line, but it took a really special set of circumstances to activate it for a little while. The effects of that storm you mentioned."
"So it wouldn't come back?"
"It's hard to say," Jinora replied. "How did you handle it? Being able to airbend?"
"I crashed into a wall," Asami admitted as she stared down at her boots.
Jinora giggled lightly at that. "It's not as easy as it looks, is it?"
"I think my Fire Nation blood might've meant I overcooked it..." Asami sighed with a slight smirk.
Jinora offered out a hand to pull Asami up. "Well, airbender or not, I've always found that walking the Baguazhang circle is really therapeutic, and it fits perfectly with your fighting style of constant movement and spinning. Like a leaf in the wind." She stretched her hands forward a little, gesturing for Asami to do the same. "Bend your elbows and knees a bit more. Straightened joints are better for firebending and building up raw power."
"That would probably explain why I ended up smashing a wall instead of actually hitting Zaheer," Asami replied bitterly, though she followed Jinora's instructions.
"Is that who gave you the scars?" Jinora asked hesitantly as she pivoted from one side of the circle to the other. Asami followed suit.
"No, he tended not to get his hands dirty, that was other members of the Red Lotus," she replied cautiously.
"Ikki said they make you look badass," Jinora grinned. "I think so too."
Asami couldn't help but laugh at that, despite where they'd actually came from. Her board of directors at Future Industries had the exact opposite reaction when she'd walked into the meeting room. They looked a terrible mixture of horrified and appalled, and didn't stop staring throughout the meeting, like she was going to fall to pieces at any second, which she hadn't. It was only two red lines on her face for crying out loud...and if they hadn't been inflicted by certain people, Asami would've thought they were pretty badass too.
"Thank you," Asami smiled gratefully as she finished pivoting, having reached the other side of the circle. "And for what you did in the Spirit World. I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't come along when you did."
"The Spirit World isn't always like that," Jinora assured. "That was just one really nasty spirit, and I haven't actually see them there since. I've looked pretty hard."
"In between saving the Air Temple from the Earth Queen," Asami winked. "You're a busy girl Jinora. It's a miracle you find the time for your boyfriend."
Jinora went bright red as she waved her hands frantically. "Kai's not! He's not!" Asami narrowed her brows. "Okay...maybe I want him to be. But he's not, not yet. Don't tell dad. Promise?" She stretched out a pinky.
"A pinky promise?" Asami chuckled.
"The most sacred oath, just don't trust with Meelo with it," Jinora grinned as Asami shook her hand.
"Promise," Asami confirmed before gripping Jinora's hand tightly. "As long as you go and see Korra."
Jinora nodded sheepishly. The airbender kids didn't seem to like visiting Korra in the healing hut. Asami couldn't blame them. It must've hurt, seeing there surrogate sister so sad, and so far from herself, barely even smiling. Even Jinora was too young to properly understand what Korra was going through. Asami had trouble figuring it out herself, and she was normally so patient.
"I'll go right away, maybe we can practice again sometime?" Jinora asked with bright eyes.
"I'm not an airbender..."
"You're my friend, that's enough!" Jinora called as she skipped off in the direction of the healing hut.
Asami waited until Jinora was out of sight before she stretched her arms out again, bending her elbows and punching forward with some force, feeling air rush against her hand, but not her own. Just that of the evening sky.
Still, she didn't stop, punching out in a frenzy and gritting her teeth furiously. Quickly, she lost the poise and grace that characterized the art of airbending and ended up stumbling forward onto her knees, grazing them slightly
"Shit..." Asami muttered as she stared down at the black markings painted into the stone at her legs. She swung a fist against the ground in another burst of anger, making her already damaged knuckles scream in protest. She disregarded it, smacking the earth again, and revelling in the pain with each hit. It helped her to ignore the rest of her sorrow and heartache.
The only time Asami had felt in control in her entire time with the Red Lotus was when she'd been able to airbend. It was that power which had saved Korra from being infected with more poison. And now that was gone...she was back to being useless. She wasn't even able to get through to her best friend. Some control was exactly what she needed right now. Maybe Future Industries would give her that...
"If you were something more than a nonbender then maybe none of this would've happened, Korra would be okay," Asami berated herself as she watched blood pool between the gaps of her fingers. "You're not worthy of her...and Kya's going to kill you for messing up your hands again..."
Asami nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Jinora!"
"I guess we do look pretty similar," Bolin teased as Asami spun around, hiding her hands at her back. "I'll forgive you. It's an easy mistake to make. We're both geniuses, and I think I projected my spirit in a dream, straight into a bowl of steaming noodles in Narook's."
"I thought you were in Republic City helping some of the refugees move into their new homes?" Asami asked anxiously as she shot upwards.
Bolin scratched under his chin suspiciously. "I was – it's night time now. How long were you sat here?"
"A few minutes," Asami replied. She was sure it hadn't been long, but the sky didn't exactly back up her story. It was pitch black and filled with stars. Am I losing my mind?
Bolin wrapped an arm around her, his forehead wrinkled in concern. "Pema's still got some food left over, and I'm always hungry. Let's go get something to eat, okay?"
Asami nodded reluctantly, allowing herself to be guided indoors and out of the cold.
"Raiko made sure that the press where there, like every member of the press, before he let the refugees into their homes. It ended up taking two hours longer than it should have," Opal explained bitterly as she drank from a cup of freshly poured tea.
Pema, Bolin, Tenzin, Asami, Opal and Tonraq were all sat around the dining table, finishing off whatever leftovers remained once the airbenders had consumed most of the meal and disappeared back to the dormitories for the night.
"I'm sure President Raiko had his reasons," Tenzin sighed, though he made sure to emphasise the word President. He had to stay on good terms with Republic City's leader in order to make sure the refugees were taken care of. Otherwise, they'd be sent back to the less than suitable Eastern Air Temple which had sheltered them for a few weeks.
"PR reasons," Opal decided. "He practically got a picture with every single refugee instead of letting them just get indoors and out of the cold. They aren't used to this weather."
Tenzin narrowed his eyes at her. "Miss Beifong, I suggest you stay on the President's good side. The United Republic didn't need to take in these refugees at all, let alone offer them accommodation, especially given the current state of the city's infrastructure. The amount of money that will need to be spent on rebuilding around the vines could make or break our economy." He turned his head to Asami who was currently stirring her soup incoherently. "That reminds me Asami, President Raiko would like to meet with you in city hall with some of your engineers tomorrow."
"Right..." Asami muttered. "Thank you, Master Tenzin."
"Any word from Ba Sing Se?" Tonraq asked softly, his eyes occasionally glancing towards Asami. She couldn't help but wish he was in the healing hut with Senna and Jinora.
"Nothing yet," Pema said calmly. "I doubt Suyin has arrived yet. She said she'd update us as soon as they have boots on the ground." Asami hated that they'd gone, but the city had become a black hole. Anarchy had taken over and the military had long since abandoned it. Somebody would have to take control, she just wished Mako hadn't gone with them. With Kuvira. She couldn't stop him either, because his reasons for going were far more noble that Asami's reasons for wanting him to stay.
He wanted to check on his family, on Bolin's behalf, and to help stabilise the city. Asami just wanted him here to talk to, but he would make a much greater difference half way across the world. It's why Chief Beifong had been so willing to let him go.
"We'll need to send a group of airbenders to support them," Opal declared and again was met with a glare from Tenzin. She had a lot of Beifong spirit in her, that was for sure. Blunt and to the point. "Mom won't be able to stabilize the city without more support, and there aren't much better peace keepers than the airbenders. It'd be good for the people to see us."
"Firelord Izumi is already considering sending a contingent of Fire Nation peacekeepers to help secure the city," Tenzin explained with folded arms.
Tonraq raised an eyebrow. "And you think that's a good idea? The citizens of the Earth Kingdom would not take well to occupation by the Fire Nation. Old grudges are buried deep. They'll only see it as the Fire Nation trying to take advantage of the Kingdom's current vulnerability."
Tenzin scratched his beard. "I hadn't considered that...surely the people will value stability over all else?"
"They won't see Fire Nation troops as stabilisers, only conquerors," Tonraq explained. "Opal has the right on this. It'd be much more sensible to send airbenders. If Korra was in a better state, then we'd send her. People still trust in the Avatar's judgement, but sadly she's in no condition to go to Ba Sing Se." But they don't know that she killed the Earth Queen. Would they trust her judgement then?
"Without Korra, someone else has to fill the void. The Air Nation could be the ones to do it," Pema suggested. Tenzin stared at his wife thoughtfully, before nodding his head.
"That it what the Air Nation once did. Wandered the world, helping people regardless of their creed or country," Tenzin spoke proudly. "Perhaps it's time we did that again. Isolating ourselves the way the Air Nation did before the 100 year war was not helpful. It turned many an airbender away from becoming a nomad and made us vulnerable." The old master seemed to tremble on that final word.
Asami couldn't help but smile at his words. The Air Nation was Korra's legacy. If they took up the mantle of maintaining balance whilst Korra was injured, surely that would make her happier? Proud even? Of all her achievements, Asami knew fine well there was nothing Korra valued more than the revitalised Air Nation.
The rest of the meal passed without incident, or any further discussion of international incidents, or Korra. Or anything of any merit really, which was extremely relieving as Asami cleaned her bowl out. It was the first time she'd actually finished a meal in its entirety in days, instead of just slipping some to Pabu under the table, or even sneaking some out for Naga.
Eventually, only herself and Bolin remained. Everyone else had gone off to bed. Bolin however, was preoccupied with finishing everyone's leftovers, occasionally slipping a piece to Pabu who had decided to sit on Asami's lap. She run her fingers slowly against the ferret's red furred back.
"Not so quick Pabu! You're going to give yourself a belly ache!" Bolin warned far too dramatically. Pabu simply titled his head in confusion, making a small chirping sound. "Okay – so maybe I'm not the setting the best example. But you shouldn't follow everything I do. I'm only human. If I jumped off a cliff would you follow?" Pabu replied by taking another bit of food from his hand.
"He's not even listening," Bolin conceded.
"And yet you're still feeding him..." Asami pointed out as she rubbed the top of Pabu's head with freshly bandaged hands. She'd managed to sneak away to the bathroom to do some make shift repairs.
"And yet I'm still feeding him..." Bolin agreed with a pained sigh. "But how can I say no to that face? Half the time when we were on the streets I ended up giving my share to this little furry beast." He raised a finger to his lips. "Don't tell Mako. He worked hard for that food. He'd have cooked Pabu given half the chance if he knew."
"My lips are sealed," Asami swore, motioning a zip pulling across her mouth.
Bolin leaned back slightly, bring his hands behind his head. "Sooooooo...since we're in the business of telling secrets, how about you offer up one?"
Asami's eyes widened. "What about...?"
"Whatever the heck's going on between you and Korra," Bolin replied incredulously.
"Korra's injured," Asami muttered quietly.
"Yeah, I got that, thanks," Bolin said sternly. "But ever since you guys came back, ever since she woke up, you've barely been around each other. And I know how close you guys got in the Earth Kingdom. You were like best friends."
"Things change, the Red Lotus changed us," Asami replied. "I'm still Korra's friend. Just because I don't spend every waking moment with her doesn't mean I don't care. It's just – it's hard being around her right now..."
"Because she's injured?"
"That's not the problem..." Asami sighed as she leaned into Bolin's shoulder. She felt him wrap a strong arm around her.
"Talk to me, Asami. We used to be able to tell each other anything," Bolin assured softly, holding her gaze. "Whatever's wrong, maybe I can help."
"I don't think you can..." Asami grimaced.
Bolin's expression was deadly serious. "At least let me try. Pretty sure bottling it up isn't going to help."
"Alright..." Asami conceded as she fiddled with her hands. "This information is strictly between us." Bolin nodded firmly. "I'm kinda...sorta...well – I actually am...god, this is harder than I thought..." Bolin simply smiled warmly. "I love Korra."
"So do I?" Bolin asked in confusion.
Asami waved her hands. "No – I mean – what I'm trying to say is...I'm, you know...in love with her..."
Bolin's eyes widened to a size Asami had never seen. An impressive feat, given Bolin's eyes were practically like spotlights all the damn time.
"What?!" he gasped in shock.
"Please don't freak out!" Asami hissed as she shoved a hand over his mouth. "You're going to wake everyone up!" She kept her hand in place. "Promise you'll keep your voice down." Bolin nodded sheepishly.
"I feel like my brain's about to explode..." Bolin whispered. "How long have you – I didn't even know you were – but Korra's – how have you – scratch that. My brain just exploded..."
"This is why I haven't told anyone, except Kya, but she kinda dragged it out of me," Asami explained frantically.
"Not even Korra?"
Asami shook her head.
"Wow...that's...that's a lot to process..." Bolin muttered. "You have to tell her, Asami."
"I can't...I'm...I'm scared of her...of what she might do..."
"Why?"
Asami shook her head, trying to hold back tears. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "She...she's...I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I have to speak to her first. It's not her fault though...she was only trying to protect me. It's me being stupid. I shouldn't be scared of her."
Bolin nodded in understanding. "Did you guys kiss or anything?"
"Once," Asami smiled slightly.
"Then you have to find out if Korra feels the same," Bolin said, smiling back.
"I can't dump all of my emotions on her," Asami replied instantly. "Now is not the time."
"You might regret it. At least go talk to her...it doesn't have to be about anything. I'm sure she misses you," Bolin suggested with a tap on the shoulder.
"Okay..." Asami conceded. It was really hard to say no to Bolin, let alone Pabu.
Asami walked cautiously over to the healing hut, pulling her jacket a little closer. Republic City could be bitterly cold at night, Air Temple Island especially from the strong sea breeze. The gales seemed to be particularly strong tonight. Hardly a good omen.
Would Korra still be awake right now? It probably didn't matter. Asami would return in the morning if that was the case.
She entered the healing hut with a fierce pounding in her ears, closing the door slowly behind her so that it didn't bang. The main room of the healing hut was in darkness, though Asami could still see the shimmer of water sitting in two bathes which had been created by digging into the floor. That's where Korra spent most of her days, getting some treatment for her aching muscles, but nothing that would help her walk again. Master Katara was one of few healing experts who understood physical rehabilitation.
There was a faint light in a room adjacent to the main healing area. A bedroom, Korra's temporary residence for the moment. Asami pushed the door open cautiously, it wouldn't have been surprising if Korra had fallen asleep and left the lamp on.
Unfortunately, the door creaked loudly as Asami peered round it's edge. "Damn it..." she muttered under her breath.
"It's okay, I wasn't sleeping," Korra muttered from her wheelchair. She was sat at a desk in the room, a glass of water in front of her.
"Can I come in?"
"You're already in," Korra pointed out nonchalantly as Asami closed the door behind her. She began flexing her fingers back and forth, clearly trying to manipulate the water in the glass. It barely even rippled.
"Any luck?" Asami asked softly as she leaned her back against the desk, trying to look as calm as possible.
"My bending sucks so much," Korra moaned. "I used to be able to bend the ocean. I didn't think a person could fall so far, and then keep on falling."
"You're not falling – I won't let you," Asami replied fiercely.
Korra continued to stare into the glass. "You can't stop it. It's not like I have far to fall anyway. I'm already only a few inches above the floor."
Asami couldn't tell if she was joking or not, such was the bitterness of Korra's smirk right now. "What brings you around here so late at night?" Korra asked distantly as she froze the top layer of water in the glass.
"I wanted to see how you were."
"You know how I am," Korra retorted. "It's painfully obvious. The way everyone looks at me like I'm about to fall apart. And they all think they can put me back together too."
"Can they?"
"No – that's down to me."
"It doesn't have to be – you have so many people behind you. You don't have to do this alone," Asami assured.
"Yes I do."
"No you-"
Korra smacked the glass over in a sudden burst of anger, knocking it flying onto the floor with a loud smash. Asami recoiled to a nearby wall with a start, She cursed herself for that, watching Korra bite her bottom lip in alarm.
"Say what you came here to say," Korra ordered with a grimace. "Or did my dad send you? Try to get me to talk?"
"I came by myself."
"Then speak," Korra mumbled as she clenched her fists, still staring anywhere but in Asami's direction.
"Korra – Korra you kissed me. Are we not even going to talk about it?" Asami questioned with crossed arms. The Avatar didn't reply, instead continuing to stare down at her hands, trembling very slightly against the top of her thighs. Even after two weeks, it was still a shock every time Asami turned to see her friend sat in that chair, so faraway from everything she'd ever been. Will she ever be the same?
"I need to talk about it. Okay? Not with Kya, or Mako, or anyone else. You. The one who kissed me in the first place."
Korra wrenched her head up suddenly. Her expression was one of fury and frustration all at once. It scared Asami half to death, how much she looked like Rei in that glare, ready to burn the world down for her masters. "Fine! You wanna talk about it?! We'll talk about it!" Her scarred fingers shook frantically against the armrests of the chair. "I did it to shut you up! To distract you so that I had time to lock that cell door! To keep you out of the fight with Zaheer! That's all it was..."
Asami felt tears burning at the back of her eyes, but she would not cry now. This was not Korra. Not even close. "Don't you dare say that. You're lying to me." She crouched down to Korra's level, and once again blue eyes would not meet her gaze. "That kiss wasn't acting. You meant it. I know you meant it."
Korra closed her eyes firmly. "I thought you were smart. You should know by now that I'm a good liar, and an even better actor. It didn't – that kiss didn't..." The Avatar's voice became nothing more than a whisper.
All Asami wanted to do was shout at her for saying such terrible things. For invalidating what had been one of the best moments of her life. A moment she felt truly alive. It wasn't all a lie. It couldn't have been. She reached a hand out tentatively, gripping gently under Korra's chin to turn her head around. Getting furious with her wouldn't do either of them any favours. All that did was make Korra close up.
"Say it to my face, Korra. Tell me that kiss meant absolutely nothing to you," Asami instructed firmly. Korra didn't pull away from her hand, leaning in if anything. She opened her mouth slightly to speak, but only a misty eyed croak came out. "You can't, because it's not true. You can't lie about something like that, not to me. Why are you playing these cruel mind games?"
Korra's face screwed up painfully at the words mind games. Likely, she'd been reminded of her time with Zaheer. Still, the Avatar didn't speak another word.
A realization hit Asami very suddenly in the tense silence between them. Korra hadn't meant anything she'd said today, in this room. She was deliberately trying to turn Asami away, to make her angry. To put some distance between them. But why?
"Are you trying to make me hate you, Korra?"
Finally, Korra met her gaze, blue eyes glistening in the low light from the nearby window. "Is it working?"
Asami almost managed to laugh at that, how childish and innocent Korra's voice sounded, a far cry away from the anger which had radiated from her a few minutes ago, and even further from Rei. Asami reached her hands up to rest on top of Korra's shoulders, maintaining a firm grip. The Avatar looked terrified, completely at a loss as to how her friend would react, like she was about to be swatted across the face.
"I could never hate you...I...I care about you, a lot..." I love you.
"I don't know why you still do..." Korra muttered with narrowed brows. Her expression softened a little as she reached up her hands to hold Asami's wrists, her fingers were trembling just from the effort of holding her arms up. "But what we had, whatever it was...it's over now. It has to be, for both our sakes."
"What are you talking about?"
Korra held her gaze for the first time in the conversation, her sapphire eyes full of sadness and pessimism. She looked ready to apologize over and over again. "I'm going home, Asami. Back to Harbor City. I – you can see for yourself. I'm not getting any better here, I need to see Master Katara, I need time with my parents...time to process stuff..." That's why she's been trying to rile me up. So that I wouldn't care if she left Republic City.
"Then let me come with you," Asami pleaded as she tightened her grip on Korra's shoulders. "As a friend."
"We both know that's not a good idea," Korra shook her head regretfully. "I think...I think you need time to process things too, get back to helping Republic City rebuild. Something to take your mind off everything."
"I'm fine," Asami insisted. "Future Industries doesn't need me all the time. I can take a break."
"It's not just about Future Industries...you need time away from me too. From Rei, from the Red Lotus. Away from any reminders of that terrible place, the things that happened there," Korra started to mutter. "The things I failed to protect you from." Asami opened her mouth to interrupt. "There's no arguing with that fact. I couldn't keep you safe." She started to choke on her words. "And you're scared of me now...I can see it in your eyes, little flashes of fear when we're in the same room. The smallest part of you thinks I might hurt you all over again, and I hate seeing that."
Asami couldn't deny that at all. The doubts would creep in now and then no matter how much she fought against them. It was like there were three versions of the Avatar. Korra, before all this, the strongest woman in the world, and Korra now. Broken. In amongst all that was Rei, who would occasionally overwhelm her counterparts, but most especially broken Korra. The most vulnerable.
"Maybe time apart would be good," Korra decided with a sigh. "We both need to recover, pull ourselves back up. But together...the way we remind each of our our pain no matter how much we fight it – we'll end up dragging each other back down." She squeezed one of Asami's hands. "It'll only be for a little while. A few months maybe, just till I'm back on my feet. Then we'll have a proper talk, about everything. Just like I said we would."
"A few months..." Asami repeated hesitantly. "Okay...if you think it's for the best...I only want you to get better..."
"I know you do," Korra smiled warmly before pulling Asami into a tight hug. Asami really hadn't been expecting that, given how the conversation had gone so far, her arms hovered awkwardly above her friend's shoulders for few seconds. Korra didn't seem phased by her unresponsiveness, instead burrowing her brown hair into the groove of Asami's right shoulder with some force.
They stayed like that for several minutes, in total silence with the exception of some heavy breathing as Asami tried to keep it together. Korra was clinging on with such desperation that Asami couldn't help but wonder if their separation would only be a few months, how long this goodbye was going to last. It wasn't like Korra hadn't lied in the past before...though that had been for Asami's sake...this...this didn't seem to be...
"A few months, right?"
"Right," Korra replied quickly as she released her grip.
"Do you want me to help you pack?" Asami smiled wearily.
"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks," Korra grinned with just as much strain, though it was the widest she'd smiled in days, it was just as false as all the others. "And could you help me get ready for Jinora's ceremony tomorrow? I want to look somewhat presentable..."
"Of course."
End Notes
So now would probably be a good time to let you guys know I'll be doing an entire Book 4 for this story. For just now though, there'll be one more chapter to wrap up book 3, then a couple of chapters after that for a sort of in between for the gap between book 3 and 4. I also want to clarify that my book 4 will pretty much completely diverge from the canon book 4, and follow the canon I've set up in this story so far.
Now back to this chapter. Mako and Kuvira are not out of the story, don't worry. They'll probably be back next chapter actually. As always thoughts would be greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading! Also. Broasami. Huzzah for Broasami.
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