Today was a particularly special day, I was with Emily in the cafeteria before our session with J, and in fact, the gorgeous clown was sat down, eating away at a fantastic looking cup of vanilla pudding. He seemed to be enjoying it too, his face looked content as he suckled the treat off the spoon. I parted ways from Emily for a moment to take a seat across from him, a smile gracing my lips as he looked up and met his eyes with mine, a wide grin matching on his the moment he saw that it was me.

"Ohhhhh Haaaaaaaaaaaaarleeeeeeyyy~" He cooed in greeting, head doing that cute little swaying thing that it usually did. "What a tAAAHHHH-REAT to see you so much! This'll be the first of uh.. TWO times today right?"

"That's right, Mistah J, our session is at one." I nodded, giggling quietly at the genuine excitement that came across his face. "Ahhhh thats riiiighttt..." He purred, leaning back to push another spoonful between his lips. "What's that you're eating there?" I questioned.

The question seemed to take him by surprise and he stared down at the little treat with slight thought. Then, confusion crossed his face as I suppose he realized he didn't really know what it was. His head whipped to the side quickly those eyes staring up at Stanley. He was quiet for a moment before, "Stanley ol chap, what's this called again?" Stanley looked annoyed, and refused to answer him. It seemed to agitate J that he was being blatantly ignored. His lips curled slightly, twitching into a snarl. "Stannyboy... I asked you a QUESTION." He barked, and Stanley rolled his eyes. "It's Puddin." He responded simply.

"Well there ya go!" He grinned, all anger gone as soon as his eyes were back on me..

I'd actually been right about to reply when Emily had called me over. One look in her direction and I could see that she was seemingly thinking about something as she watched us. Her brows were furrowed and lips curved down into an unpleasant frown. What was going on?

"Oh noooo.." Joker began to drag out. "Soooomebody is gonna get a uh.. SCOLDING from granny! Try not to get yourself GROUNDED before our next meeting, would ya kitten?" He reached out then, and just like before, his fingers traced along my jaw, brushing over my lips after as he sent a wink in my direction. At this point I couldn't fight the blush that came to my lips at his flattery and flirtatious behavior. I was sure he was like this with plenty of his female therapist. Even if his profile said otherwise.

"I'll try my best, Mistah J." I promised with a smile, standing from the table and trailing back to Emily. I couldn't help but glance back to him, his eyes were stuck on me again, though no smile was present. He just stared with this intense look in his eyes, lips slightly parted and his breathing seemingly ragged. He seemed.. Fixated on something.. On me.

I met Emily and gave her a charming smile, she however, did not return it this time and sighed as she pushed her glasses up onto her nose properly for probably the hundredth time that hour. "Harleen, darling, I believe we need to talk, privately, before the session with Joker." She said quietly. Her tone held nothing happy, this was indeed what Joker had implied, a scolding. Something was wrong and it was definitely something to do with me and odds are I was about to be in trouble. But for what, though, I didn't know. Did I do something wrong when addressing J? I thought we were making good progress with him, he wasn't half as violent, and he even stopped threatening Stanley. Or, no. That was a lie. He just stopped threatening Stanley as often as he did before. I had obviously agreed in the form of a nod, too lost in my own thoughts and the anxiety that began swarming in my stomach, what if, what she was about to say, could get me fired? No. Nononono. Please, god don't let that be what happens. I could not lose this job, I.. I could not be so far away from the Joker.

We entered her office and she made her way around her desk to take a seat behind it in the big, comfy looking black chair she often fell asleep in after our sessions with Joker. She said they always tired her out. I couldn't blame her, a women of her age, which was sixty-two, by the way, dealing with such an eccentric fella? Well, I'd be tired too! "Have a seat, Harleen." She murmured, gesturing to the chair before the desk. I smiled politely, thanking her and then sitting down. I watched her for a moment, fiddling with the sleeve of my doctors jacket. Emily seemed to be just as anxious as I was, if not more. She sighed out and her hand raised to rub across her forehead a couple times, the stress the woman was feeling showing through in the way her emerald eyes slowly closed behind the dainty pink frames of her glasses, small nose crinkling up into a grimace.

"Harleen," She started. "I'm a mother of three girls and two boys, and a grandmother of three. I've got a degree in psychology and I'm the longest psychiatrist to last here at Arkham.. When I came here I was just a pretty young thing, just like you," She started slowly. "And when I was taking on my first patient I grew so horribly obsessed with him that they had to suspend me for four months. It is not easy to be a women on her own for four months with no work. I had to wait for my previous patient to be released before I could return because people had caught on to how.. Attached.. I was getting.." I could already see where this was going. "And now that I'm older, wiser, I can see that my patient had been simply trying to manipulate me, and now that I've got three girls of my own.. They all want to be come therapist. They want to work here at the Asylum with me, and Harleen I've refused to let them take the jobs here. I've prevented them from getting offers because I know what a place like this does to beautiful young souls like theirs, like yours." She sighed and took the glasses off her face, and placed them before us, folding her hands neatly then on the desk.

"I would like to ask you why you took this job, Harleen. You do not have anyone who has worked here before that would draw you to it in your family, and you know of the reputation of this place, and you've seen what some of the patients are capable of and yet you show up to work looking anxious and excited and ready to start your day, and after observing you quite closely for the past month, I would honestly like to know why?" Her eyes opened, and I found myself lost in them. I came to realize that Joker was right, and Emily was quite like a granny figure to myself. I could see myself in her, or rather.. See her in myself. I stared knowingly into those emerald pools.. They were so filled with concern..

"Well.." I started, crossing one leg over the other carefully and folding my hands much like she had, in my lap. "To be truthful I wanted to take on this place as a young therapist because, where better to learn the game from? After all after dealing with the patients in this place, one I get to the other places.. Well.. They'd seem like a walk in a park, if I ever do move on from here, of course." I explained, but I wasn't disclosing the full truth of it all. No.. The reason I was so excited and ready to take this place on had more to do with a specific patient in here rather than the experience. I wanted to witness the Joker, observe his psyche and maybe get inside it a little and be able to fully say that I knew the Joker inside and out, knew his quirks and what made him tick, knew every inch of not only his persona but the man behind the laugh.. I ached and itched and craved to be his therapist, or to at least sit in on it because it'd still give the same feeling.. Emily seemed to already know that though..

"And because of the Joker's presence here, too, right? You were interested in his psyche, which is incredibly understandable most psych majors who come here or know of him in general, are always intrigued by him, by his brain and his personality and psychosis. Many of them are very interested in the idea of witnessing this up close and god knows every therapist here in Arkham once wished to be the person that he would give all of his information to. We know nothing about who he was before the psychosis, we don't know his name or his family or what even happened leading up to the life he now lives. He has never so much as gestured a finger in that direction during any session with any doctor, and they all, we all, crave to be the ones who he does go down that lane with. But.. Joker has, quite honestly, never been a big fan of therapist. Every one we've brought in to him he's either pushed away, ignored completely, attacked, or, even in some cases.. Murdered. Which is why it was a very risky decision for me to let you into his sessions. You see, Harleen, I see you as another daughter," She paused to laugh as she closed her eyes. I found myself smiling at the sound of her delightful, lady like laughter that floated throughout the room and broke the serious moment. Maybe that's why Joker had let her play his case for so long. The women could laugh in even a serious moment. "Perhaps with my age I could see you as my granddaughter. Needless, I see myself in you and I would not like to see you get hurt in any way, which is why I have to request that you quit Jokers case-"

I was quick to cut her off this time, shifting forward in my seat and uncrossing my legs. The smile dropped and my eyebrows furrowed tightly, sadness washing over my own eyes and I saw it reflected in hers. "Off his case? Why? He hasn't attempted to hurt me and has done nothing to suggest that it was his intent to do ever-"

"Harleen," She said, cutting me off as I had her mere seconds before. "I am a therapist of many, many years. I can see the signs of an obsession from three miles away, and as up close as I am and was with you, it's not hard for me to see that you're growing this obsession for him that harbors feelings that are beyond a doctor and patient relationship. He's indulged you in his deepest darkest fantasys and you've seemed to revel in it, almost like you enjoy the thought of the sick twisted things he would like to do to people, and.. Well, to be quite honest, I am worried. Not only because of your obsession as that wouldn't be half as unhealthy as the one he's developing. Doctor Quinzel you must have noticed it." I shook my head. "He hates when Stanley looks at you and his romantic advances on you, often sends Joker into a fit of rage and threats, which was what resulted in the incident where he.. Well he told you about how he'd like to cut off Stanley's face, remember? And it's unhealthy and it's dangerous, if he grows much more obsessed with you it could put not only your life but others in danger. Joker is a man who will not sit back and be withheld form something he wants, he will kill anyone and everyone in his way to get to his goal, his prize, his toys. Not to mention his obsession for you, with his manner of psychosis, could lead to him eventually killing you when you don't live up to the fantasy that he's put you two in. So I'm asking you, not as a co-worker, not as your mentor, but as your caring friend, to please, calmly accept the fact that you will be removed from his case, and I will find you another patient to treat, one less likely to grow this sort of attachment to you. Please, Harleen..." Her voice was pleading, she was truly concerned, terrified of the fact that Joker could hurt me for being who I was.

I couldn't deny her that. I couldn't say no when she was so worried about me like this, and her points were very good ones. She had just made me realize that I was indeed growing too fond of Joker, that my obsession was with more than just psychology related adventures into his psyche, but.. Him. I was obsessed with him. Hell, I was even dreaming about him.

"Alright, alright.." I sighed, pushing my hair back and nodding my head. 'I'll do that.."

And so, that afternoon, while Emily went to the session with Joker, I went on med runs, and the next day, she appointed me to a girl named, Lucy Robinson, a sweet young girl who suffered with depression. She was a low security patient as she was under her medications and wasn't nearly as dangerous as the others, in fact, she wasn't even going to stay here long. She'd made a pact with her friend for them both to kill each other, or rather, Lucy would kill her first, and then kill herself, and well.. The cops reached Lucy before the second part of the plan could be done. I liked Lucy, I truly did. But she was no Joker, and I suppose that was sort of the point. Lucy was quiet and sad, and she often cried during her sessions when she talked about her friend and why they did it, the pain that came with her parents abandoning her. I felt sympathy for her, and I had hoped that I could help her enough that she could be released soon. After all, she was not a criminal. She was not evil. Unfortunately though, Emily had told me that during her session last with Joker, that he did not seem pleased that I hadn't been there, and of course, at a stupid statement Stanley made. Did that man want to die? There was nothing I could do though, not myself. Nothing nothing nothing. I was not allowed to talk to him.

Which is what lead to me walking straight past him in the cafeteria. "Hey, Haaaaaaarley-gril, I missed ya at- wait, where ya goin?" He'd called out to me as I walked past. I put my head down and cringed at the sound of disappointment in his voice when I didn't turn to sit with him. And the nickname.. This man was something that would be hard to let go of, after all with those killer looks and the charisma and the flattery that I definitely would not receive from Lucy.. I had glanced to him as I sat with the girl, reached across and held her hand while I greeted her softly, knowing that the louder tones of voice often made her cry because she had some idea that we would be mad with her when they were used. I caught his expression in that moment. Pure anger radiated behind his eyes and he even looked a little jealous. His eyes darkened and his head tipped forward, eyes staring directly at Lucy this time with this burning hatred, lips pulled back in a snarl. It was session day again, and I felt bad that Emily would have to deal with him in this state.

I did not see him slipping a pudding into his pocket before he left.

There was some sort of commotion later that afternoon, around the time that Emily should have been having a session with Joker. The alarms were going off and there were guards rushing down towards therapy room C. Police sirens could be heard, and ambulance, I could hear screaming and.. And laughter. His laughter.. I felt a bone chilling shiver slide up my spine, there was something wrong, his laughter was loud and demented as always, and it was echoing the halls, heard so clearly above all the chaos. I saw it then as I was, fast walking towards the room. Emily had been in there. Had he done something? I saw the guards then, ten of em all stocked up in some heavy duty armor, dragging a currently black eyed bleeding Joker from the room, the guy was still laughing, wrapped up in a straight jacket and writhing about in their holds.

"Ding dong the BITCH IS GONE!" He was singing through his laughter, but then he saw me, and the laughter stopped. A grin spread across his lips and he wresteled against the guards holds for a moment, I found myself faltering in my step. I couldn't breathe right just then. He was staring directly at me, covered in blood and.. And pudding? And.. Brains..? God only knows. "Harlequin... Haaarrllllequinnnnn... Haaaaaaaaaarllllllllllllquiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... Go see the painting I did for you my little... HARRRLLLQUINNNN..." He sang, as the guards dragged him off. He disappeared, but his laughter still echoed.

I felt goosebumps cover my skin, terrified and enticed all at once. What did he want? What did he mean? What did he do..? I turned and quickly shoved past the amount of guards and such that was around the door, all holding their mouths like they were about to be sick. That's when I saw it.. That's when I felt sick. The first sight was Stanley, on the floor with his eyes wide open, tear stains still on his cheeks with vomit next to him and all over his face and his clothes and a spoon shoved down his throat, the tip of the handle barely sticking out with an empty cup of pudding laid neatly next to his head. Stanley was dead.

Then there was her.. I couldn't help but step over Stanley and rush to her side. Emily was on the floor with bruising around her throat, her eyes were closed and she looked quite content and peaceful. She had a bit of blood dripping from her lips, from her nose, her eye was bruising and it seemed like she had struggled a bit at first, all the chairs toppled over and her notes all over the floor. But she just looked so peaceful. This was honestly the most peaceful I've seen her look, and it wasn't just because she was dead because Stanley over there looked pretty terrified and stressed still with his wide open eyes and vomit covered body.. But her... I couldn't breathe. My chest felt tight and I felt like I was going to scream. I felt like I was going to die and I felt like the world was ending. I looked around the room then, teary eyed and breathing heavy but not breathing all at once, and then I saw it on the wall, written in blood and pudding.

WHERE WERE YOU, HARLEQUIN?

It was my fault.. It was all my fault...

Later that day, Lucy was found beaten to death in a dumpster in the cafeteria.