I'm just a sucker for pain.
I struggled. I fought and I kicked and I did the best I could to get away from them. "Get away from me!" My voice was a shrill shriek. I felt- I felt panicked. I was terrified, the fear freezing my blood in my veins, and this was just like every other nightmare I've ever had of that god damn clown. Why did I love him, again? Why? Why was I in love with that crazy asshole?! Because he's hot and he treats you like a Queen that's why. IS THIS HOW QUEENS ARE TREATED, HARLEY?! Clown Queens, yes. Harley's a fucking idiot. The one with that giant goat head- why did he have a goat head on? What? Was this manditory for Joker's minions? Goat heads? What the hell? Well they look pretty funny ya know? And this way, no one sees their faces! It makes it easypeasy for them to pretend to be other important people! Like guards... Oh Jesus Christ. Frankie was a minion, wasn't he? Of course he was. Frankie was a fucking dick. Frankie was a scared dick who tasered Joker ones.. Frankie was probably dead. I'd given up my struggled fighting by this point, and the stupid goatmen strapped me down. I knew what was happening. Joker was going to kill me. After all the things I did for that man, after how incredibly nice I was to him, he was going to kill me. Of course he was. How stupid could I be? Of course I had let Harley cloud my judgment. Harley loved Joker. I did not. Harley loved him. I didn't. We're two halves of the same whole, stupid. I have a degree in psychology. I wouldn't have been manipulated by a clown man if it wasn't for this stupid voice in my head. When did she even get there? When did you get here, Harley? Been here all along sugarplum! Don't call me names. Okay, so I've had her my entire life, she's only just now started speaking. I'm insane. I'm fucking insane. I am entirely ten hundred and thirty percent, insane. Ding ding ding! We have a WINNER! Oh shut up.
"Well well wellll... Look what we have heeereee..." I heard his voice coming from behind me, suddenly I could feel chills going all over my body. I knew what was going on. Ugh, he was probably shirtless. Joker had mentioned he hated shirts in one of our sessions.. Session.. thirty nine, I believe, because they felt too restricting. Like straight jackets. He hated straight jackets. I squinted at the sudden light being shone down into my eyes, and when I could finally open them to look up, I found him right there next to the light. He was going to kill me. "What? Are ya gonna kill me, Mistah J?" Don't be foooolish, he LIKES us! You. He likes you. Same thing!
It was happening again. Sudden flashes. Flashes of pink and blue and I could basically feel Harley's soul combining with mine. What was I saying? We didn't have different souls. I could feel her personality sliding into mine. It was slow. It was kinda painful. I stared at Joker through the flashes, I heard a faint "wha?" And then watched as his face flashed and his body moved in strange manners, like clips flashing from a movie, he even smacked his head a couple times. Was he fighting with himself too? Nah, probably not. Joker knew exactly what he wanted all the time. "Oh no, I ain't gonna hurt ya," He said finally once the flashes stopped. He had these purple gloves on. Signature. He also had these two little.. Paddles.. In his hand. Oh, great great great, look at that, he was gonna give me shock therapy! His file said he had gone through it multiple times daily sometimes, my poor, poor.. Puddin. Wait, wait wait wait, Puddin? No, that was what Harley called him. Stop it, Harley. That was all you, Harleen! Great! Great great great. "I'm just gonna hurt ya," He was going with his hands now, a sick smile on his lips. "Really.. Really.. Bad.." Oh no, you wont. "You think so? I can handle it." I bit back at him stubbornly. Always an attempt to impress, I noted. I was always so desperate to impress him. Suffering through this and coming out of it fine, I could do it. He would be impressed by that, granted.
The look that came over his face seemed to prove that he hadn't been expecting that as an answer, and his lip pulled up into a snarl, quickly moving to get a belt for me to bite down on, and guiding it into my mouth, between my teeth. Oh, oh Jesus this was really happening. I should've listened to my mom. I shouldn't have taken this job. I should've quit after Emily was murdered. I should've gotten outta here. Oh, no you wanted this. You need this. Fuck you, Harley. You're not the one being tortured. Is it really torture if you like it? Yes. I don't like it, either.
As soon as the word- or the uh, thoughts, left me, I felt a sudden jolt of shock vibrate roughly throughout my head, throughout my body. I clenched down hard on the belt between my teeth, a muffled cry exploding from my lips as I arched against the restraints. My eyes were squeezed shut, and all I could hear was faint laughter. I couldn't tell if it was Harley or the Jokers laughter, but, it was there, none the less. This shock lasted about 30 seconds, before he pulled the paddles away and I relaxed back into the table again, panting against the belt in my mouth. "Oh, so you can uh.. Take it.. Can ya?" J whispered melodically into my ear. His voice was husky, harsh and.. Kind of sexy, it definitely held a sexual undertone underneath the words. My eyes fluttered and I found him watching me with wide eyes and slightly parted lips. Oh, he was enjoying this. He was.. Enjoying this. Harley was quiet. Hey, shouldn't you be making a stupid comment on that? Silence. Radio silence. Hey, maybe the.. Shock Therapy was making me sane again! I nodded numbly up at him, and he smirked back down at me, and pressed the paddles back against my head. Another jolt of shock and pain and... Tingles. Tingletingletingle! Oh, it felt kinda nice. Those tingles... Another scream, more jerking against the restraints, worse than the last time. It was so.. It hurt, it hurt so bad, and he was enjoying hurting me like this. This time, the shocks lasted a good minute, maybe a little less, but he was still loving it too much. When he stopped this time, he was giggling, watching me come undone like this must be a.. A kink of his. Pain kink. He was a sadist. I know this. I knew this. "Just a few more, Harley-girl.." He purred and then the paddles were back. But this time, it felt so.. So good. So good! I could hear laughter again. Harley's laughter. Harley's loud laughter, and my eyes were open, watching his face this time. He looked concentrated, excited, delighted. Then the flashes were back. Pink and blue mangled mess and I couldn't breathe, why couldn't I breathe? IT was at that point that I realized I had opened my mouth, and started laughing around the belt. Oh fuck. That wasn't a good sign. Goodbye, Harleen. A giggling mess! I was a giggling mess, and good ol'Harleen had done her job! She got us this far, that was for sure. But oh.. Oh now I had my puddin to get me the rest of the way. Good ol puddin. He'd do it. He stopped after a minute and a half, he set the paddles down, and began to laugh with me! Oh, we'd make such a perfect beautiful couple!
I looked up, his arms hands slid first back through his hair, and then extended out to the sides, head jerking as he let out a sigh of relief.. Of pleasure. "How are ya feelin now, Harleeeen...?" He purred after, and his gloved fingers stroked my head where the pads use to be. "Ohhhh.. Harleens.. GONE! She's long gone.. I'm Harley.." I giggled and he seemed to be pleased with himself. "Happy birthday, Harls." He grinned and moved to untangle me. It was finally time to realize that well, he was just in sweats. Ah, to be expected. Clothes were such a bore anyway! He could work it anyway. Did I just say anyway twice? Yeah, gross. I slid off the table with his help, and then, he had stroked my hair carefully, holding me for a second. "Just had to help ya get ya real self out n about." He said simply, before he had pushed me, roughly, back into the guards. He walked, swaggered, head swaying, body swaying. He stopped at the door, the guards keeping their rough grips on my hands. Assholes. He whispered something to the one guarding the door, and then left. The guard came over, and with the butt of his gun, roughly smacked me in the head! Ouch! Can't a girl catch a break after being electrocuted?! Oh no, black. I was out cold. Why don't I have control over my body? Harleen, sugar, I'm in charge now. No!Nono! Byebye, Harleen!
I woke up in my own bed again, when I woke, things were off. I felt a little Harley, a little Harleen. I felt crazy as all hell, that was for sure. But I felt rationally insane. Was that a thing? Probably not. Oh shit, and my head hurt! I guess that was to be expected, though. I was on my side, my eyes fluttering to the time. 2:02 AM. OH, why had I woke up, then? Then I heard it. I heard something tripping, and a loud curse of words in.. In his voice. Jokers. Oh jesus christ was he in my room? I turned over slowly, to find him frozen like a statue. One that was in the exact position as one of the Bruce Wayne ones around town. Really, Joker? "Mistah J.. That you?" I asked quietly, squinting at him. His skin practically glowed, and his hair was glow in the dark, apparently. Of course. What a clown. What a beautiful clown. God, I loved this man. "Shhhh," He whispered. "Harley's sleeping." "But Mistah J-" "Harleys sleeping." I let out a long sigh, and nodded my head. "Harley's sleeping," I repeated, rolling back onto my side and curling up into the fetal position, tucking the pillow comfortably under my head. "Goodnight, Mistah J." "Goodnight, Harley-gril! Ooops!" He was a fit of giggles then, and I actually found myself falling asleep to the sound. The next morning when I actually woke up, I found. 'Sweet dreams, kiddo!' On my mirror in.. Blood? Nice. Classy, J. And in pink crayon on the wall, Fun fact: Green represents envy and love! Oh, how cute. For three weeks, that's how I woke up, until I had forced myself to quit the job at Arkham and decided to go after him.
He'd just robbed a bank. So I had been there, and of course, he got the goons to bring me home. Yeah, good job at trying to hide that you don't stalk me, J. Good job. But then, then was my time! he'd just had fun at some diner, and I had showed there on a motorcycle. Don't ask where I got it. She stole it. Shut up, Harleen. We're working here. I couldn't get his attention, not good enough, so of course I had to get it myself! It was left in a car chase in the end, and I was behind that pretty purple Lamborghini that he was always driving. How come he has a Lamborghini and I don't? Well he was a mastermind criminal who was definitely rich. Obviously thats how. He could definitely drive it too! Swerving around traffic and going like 200 almost. I'd managed to cut him off though, driving in front of the Lamborghini and blocking the road, his pathway. I stood there and watched as he slammed the brakes on in an act of desperation. He couldn't kill me. He could have just ran me over, but he chose not to. I tossed down the bike and walked, quickly towards the car, slamming my hands down on the hood. "You can't keep ignoring me, J!" I yelled, and slammed them again. "You have to let me in!" He got out of the car and walked towards me, head swaying and looking, oh so good. God, he cleaned up well.. Fuck him. I want to fuck him. But fuck him. "Well well well.. Hello Haarlleey.." He grinned and walked towards me. I came prepared this time, and pulled a gun out of my waist band, pointing it at him. "Why do you keep ignoring me, J?" I hissed. "Oh you can't kill me."
What an ass.
"I can!" "No, you can't." He cooed. I stood there, finger trembling on the trigger. I'd never killed anyone before. But then.. Oh but then, then I could see someone coming up around behind him, yelling something about being in the way. That angered me. Didn't he know not to disrespect the King of Gotham!? My aim went from J to the man behind him, pulling the trigger and watching him fall dead. J actually looked surprised. Impressed. A grin on his lips as the gun went back to him. "Oh look at you, killing to avenge my honor.." He cooed and came closer until the gun was directly against his forehead. "Pull the trigger, kiddo. Put poor ol' J out of his misery. I'm miserable without ya, after all.. I miss ya.." He cooed. I felt myself softening. I felt myself crumbling. "I want to see where you became.. Joker. I want to see where you made your.. Your change. I want to be with you." He took that moment to take the gun from me, laughing out that incredible laughter, placing the gun to his temple and swaying again.
"You wanted me dead a second ago, Harls. You want me dead? Oooh.. Just one FINGER twitch away!" He sang and I found myself growing worried, taking a step forward, but just as quick as that he was putting the gun away, and he was silent. "Take me there." I requested, before he pulled his hand back. I hadn't seen the hit coming, but his hand collided with the side of my jaw and I was knocked to the ground. I landed with a gasp from the impact of pain, hand raising to rub, hold my bruising cheek. Joker watched for a second before he was down before me, hand moving mine and gently caressing where he hit.
"Oh, I'm sorry, kitten. Ya just frustrate me sometimes, ya know? Gets me all.. Irrational." He was purring, head swaying, hypnotizing me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't.. Breathe. He was so.. I loved him. "Will ya.. Take me?" He looked conflicted for a moment, but he nodded his head. "I'll take ya, kid. Get in the car." He stood, and I used his hand to stand, moving into the car.
The ride was silent, but about half an hour later, we were standing above a bunch of vats of acid. This is where he made his transformation. It would be where I made mine. I stared down at it, mouth kinda open, eyes lost. That's when I heard his gruff voice from slightly behind me, "Question," He started, and I turned my head, then my body to watch as he moved his head to exaggerate his words. "Would you die for me?" He questioned as I moved closer to him. His hand was up, fingers wiggling slightly. A moment of silence. Barely a few seconds. "Yes.." I said quietly, and he turned his head away, fingers wiggling again. "That's too easy.." He started. He turned back, and he started again. "Would you.." He paused, his hands moving with his words. "Would you live, for me?" I was quiet again, but smiling in the slightest. "Hm?" "Yes.." His hand came up, index finger on display, shaking it at me cautionally. "Careful," He said slowly, lack of eyebrows raising slightly. "Do not say this oat.. thoughtlessly." His body was swaying this time, the entire of his being. His hand came up, the one with the tattoo of a smile, and he placed it over my mouth. His face looked thoughtful. Eyes closing during his words. "Desire becomes surrender becomes power." With the last word, his eyes opened, as if to symbolize the opening of ones eyes that power could bring. His hand was slowly sliding along my face, fingers caressing me, and then his index finger was against my lower lip. "You want this?" I thought for a moment. I wanted this. I did want this. "I do.." I murmured. He caressed my face again with his fingers, his face contorting into something different. It was like he was being.. Excited again. "Say it," He hummed. "Say it, say it say it," His fingers went up under my chin. "Pretty pretty pretty pretty..." "Please.." His face looked.. Enthused. He seemed happy by the words, and his hands extended by my face. "Goooodd..." He whined out. "You'er so.. Good~" He grinned. I had nodded, and he took a few steps away while I walked to the edge.
I stared over the edge, at the burning acid beneath that I was about to jump into. This was so utterly insane, jesus christ. I turned my body, looking at him. I wanted this. I wanted him. I wanted to be his. His Harley.. He seemed to be watching anxiously, as I threw myself baack into the acid. The normal rush that came with falling hit me, and it was so exciting. I was about to say goodbye completely to Harley, and it would be fantastic.. Before the thought finished, I was under the acid, and god, it burned. It burned so bad. My skin felt like it was melting off my bones, my head felt like it was on fire, around me the once whiteish acid was going blue from, I guess, my shirt. That was being burned off my body too, I bet. And I just sat there for awhile. Burning. Melting. Dying. I closed my eyes and accepted my fate, before I felt hands dragging against me. I couldn't really feel anything but slight cold against the numbness of my body, but then I felt his lips. He was kissing me so.. Passionately. Technically now, we'd been married. I gasped as he parted, my eyes opening, to find him staring down at me, this intensity in his eyes, before he was leaning back down for another one. My hand held the back of his head and we shared another kiss, lips crushed together in a moment of intimacy, before he parted and I was left hugging his neck. He tipped his head back, and started to laugh. Laugh that loud, gorgeous laughter. His body swayed, and a grin shot across my lips, he kept dipping me into the acid with the sway of his motions, and it brought me into a laughing fit too.
Of course we couldn't spend forever in the acid bath, and so he had helped me out and we'd gone back to the car, he brought me back to his.. Apartment. Oh, well this just wouldn't do. We'd have to buy another one. A bigger one. One for two. "Lets get you cleaned up and into some ah.. NEW CLOTHES, Harley, it's honeymoon time." He grinned and, after a hour of trying things on for him, he settled for this little black dress. I admired myself in the mirror. I looked.. Like him. My skin was bleached like his, my hair had gone this incredibly blonde state, the ends of it stained pink and blue from the combining of our shirts. I looked... "Beautiful," He grinned, like he knew what I was thinking.
He took me to a restaurant, we'd ordered, and people around us were staring, staring at me, at him, they were being disrespectful. I felt my lips curl back in a slight snarl, annoyance hitting me like a brick. Joker seemed to notice this, and slowly nudged a knife into my hand. I looked up at him, and he grinned at me. "Teach them to respect their Queen." He said quietly.
Oh.. I'd teach em, alright. I waited til the waiter came back before I had stood simply from the table, and jabbed the knife into his neck. Oh, that felt good. He fell and I placed a heel against his chest, ripping the knife out and moving to bring my flexibility into play. I knew this would be the first time J would see it, it would impress him. He needed to be impressed at all times. I flipped up onto one guys shoulders, legs wrapping tightly around his throat, using him to steer his way so I could bend my body back to grab the other, dragging him into a headbutt. He stumbled and I grabbed his neck, using him to be able to twist my body enough to snap the guys neck who I was on, before I had fell with the body, my hold on the others neck dragging him down, stabbing the knife into his chest. I sat on him, eyes wide, laughing. The noise was.. Creepy, creepy and beautiful. It floated past my lips as I kept stabbing him in the chest. I grew bored though, and ripped it back out of him and moved on to grab the nearest person, stabbing at them too.
With the combination of my flexibility and the knife, I'd killed the entire restaurant in the matter of minutes. J was sat at our table, head rested in the palm of his hand with a dreamy look on his face as he watched, proud almost. I had crumpled against the wall, unable to stop laughing. My knees had been pulled to my chest, fingers up by my lips as I laughed and giggled all the same, hair a mess around my face. Frost, as I heard J call him, had been trying to get me to get up, something about Batman coming, something about needing to go. But I ignored him.
"Ah leave the kid alone, Frost. It's our HONEYMOON!" J's booming laughter echoed from the center of the room, and he'd let me be for another good ten minutes, before I felt his presence over me. "C'mon kitten, daddy's got business to tend to." He hummed, but I just looked up at him, a sickening grin on my lips as I laughed, reaching out to him. He put one arm under my knees, the other around my back and lifted me effortlessly.
We made an amazing, laugh filled exit together.