Here's chapter three. I hope you enjoy, and happy Labor Day!
Chapter Three
Sand Castles
.
Days came and went.
Aaron was doing exceptionally well emotionally, it seemed. He had started seeing Dr. Caroline Gilbert twice a week for counseling sessions through the Bureau. He was working through the emotions brought on by the visions and flashbacks due to the drugs Lewis had dosed him with.
He made good on his vow to get rid of all the alcohol in the house.
He was a loving and devoted father to Jack and a doting boyfriend to Spencer.
He was trying.
He was finally making an effort.
He was succeeding.
Spencer was spiraling.
The doctor was putting on a good front. He kept everything together for Aaron and Jack. He had no idea how he kept up appearances and how Aaron, a seasoned profiler, hadn't noticed anything off about him when he felt like he was falling apart at the seams.
He was thankful that the team had hit a slow patch in their caseload. There was still plenty of paperwork to go around, but Spencer didn't mind that. It helped him to focus on something. There was an occasional custodial interview, but Rossi or Callahan usually went to those. There were no out of town trips.
He had become accustomed to shooting up right before he left for work. Usually he'd only do 2mg to get through the day. When he'd get home he would dose another 4mg and then again right before bed. That was just enough to keep him feeling the high, keep the irritability in check, and keep the tremors away.
.
Maybe that's why Aaron hasn't noticed anything.
.
It helped.
He could deal if the memories were dulled.
He could look at Aaron and not feel his heart ache with the pain of brutal betrayal.
Most of the time.
Maybe he was in denial.
"You wanna tell me what's eating you, Kid?"
Morgan looked over toward the passenger seat of his truck at the young genius. He'd been very quiet while the older agent drove him home per their Unit Chief's request.
"I've just got some things on my mind, Morgan. It's fine. Thanks for the ride."
With a slight smile and nod at his friend, Spencer hopped out of the vehicle and started up the driveway.
He heard Morgan call out to him once more.
"You know you can call me anytime, Reid….if you need someone to talk to or something. We could go out…grab a couple drinks? Or, you know, see a movie if you need to."
.
A 'movie'.
That's not happening anytime soon.
.
He turned back to the passenger's side window, "I know. Thanks again."
"Any time, Pretty Boy."
And with a thousand watt smile, Derek Morgan drove down the road heading back to the office.
As Spencer walked into the house he desperately needed a fix. He could see the tremors beginning in his hands.
It had been a stressful day.
Aaron had been in a great mood. He had been exceptionally affectionate.
Hence, the stress.
...
...
Earlier today…
Aaron walked into the kitchenette area where Spencer was fixing his….sixth? Yes, sixth cup of coffee for the day. He had just dumped an obscene amount of sugar into the brew when he felt arms snake around his waist as his back was softly pressed up against his superior's chest.
He immediately tensed, his body trying to go into fight or flight mode. They hadn't been intimate since the night Aaron had gotten black out drunk…..if you could call what had happened intimate.
Slowly, Aaron moved his hands from Spencer's waist, lightly trailing his fingers up the sides of his arms to rest on either shoulder. "I've missed you," he murmured as he gently placed a kiss to the young doctor's neck.
Spencer tried to school his erratic breathing and calm his racing heart as he forced his body to relax under the touch.
Aaron continued, "I was thinking we could see if Jessica would keep Jack tonight. We could have some time alone; maybe stop at that Chinese place down the road, take it home and eat dinner in bed like we used to."
That seemed like so long ago.
Spencer subdued his nerves and attempted to keep his voice steady. He turned in his lover's arms and looked up to his face. His features were soft and soothing. His eyes were loving and warm as he watched the genius look him over.
Those eyes, though.
They looked warm now but all he could think about was that cold glare from the night he was attacked by the person he trusted the most.
He dropped his focus back to the floor.
"Um, actually Aaron, I'm not feeling that well. I think I may just head home a little early. Get some extra rest. If that's alright, of course."
That was an acceptable excuse, right?
He'd only be leaving a couple hours early.
He just needed to get out.
Aaron moved a hand up to cup Spencer's cheek and gave him a concerned look.
"Of course it's alright. I'll see if Morgan can drive you home."
….
...
Aaron really was trying, Spencer could see that. His efforts were beginning to break through some of the high walls he had constructed in an attempt to protect himself. It was slow, but Spencer could feel himself wanting to open back up and begin his own healing.
However, healing takes time, and not all demons are vanquished so easily.
With that thought, he proceeded to the bathroom with his vial in hand.
Two and a half hours later, Spencer was lying on the bed half asleep, half riding his high.
He heard his phone ring. Groaning, he looked over to the clock on the bedside table.
6:20pm.
He fumbled to grasp the blaring device off the table and flipped it open, clearing his throat.
"Reid."
"Spencer, it's me. How are you feeling?"
"Um, fine. Better. I slept a bit." He looked back at the clock once more and rubbed his eyes. "Shouldn't you be home by now?"
Aaron let out a weary sigh, "Yeah, I wish I was. There's just too much paperwork that needs to get finished before the end of the day. I was hoping you'd feel up to picking Jack up from Jessica's for me."
.
Yeah, ok.
I can do that.
I'll be fine.
It's been hours since the last time.
My head's clear.
.
"Um, yeah Aaron. It's no problem. We'll see you at home later."
"Ok. Tell Jack I'm sorry I couldn't pick him up myself."
Spencer smiled slightly, "Of course. I'll let him know his Daddy misses him." There was a playful tone in his voice as he teased.
Aaron let out a small chuckle and Spencer could picture the expression he was wearing on the other end of the line.
"I love you, Spencer. See you soon."
Spencer's heart leapt at the words. He'd heard them so many times, but lately they had felt hollow to his heart.
He knew Aaron loved him.
He knew Aaron was seeking help and getting better every day.
"I love you too, Aaron."
His lips slowly curved upward as he hung up and prepared to leave for Jessica's house.
He'd just pulled up at Jessica's house to retrieve Jack and was walking up the driveway. The boy noticed him arrive through the window in the front room and was out the door before Spencer could even knock. Jessica was right behind him with his backpack and a permission slip in her hands.
"Hi, Spencer," she smiled at him and handed over the bag and slip of paper, "Jack's already done his homework and had a snack."
He took the offered items from her, "Thank you so much for all your help, Jess. We really appreciate it."
"Oh it's no problem! You know I love spending time with him. He reminds me so much of Haley…." she trailed off as her fingers gently brushed through the boy's hair.
Jack tugged at Spencer's shirt to gain the man's attention, "We get to go to the museum next week, Papa! Do you think you could go as a parent helper? My teacher says they need some parents to help out." Excitement shone in the boy's eyes as he looked up; a pleading look on his face.
Spencer eyed the slip of paper, reading it over at 20,000 words per minute.
"It looks like you're going to the National Museum of Natural History." He leaned down to Jack's level, "You know, Jack, that's one of your Papa's favorite museums. If I can get your dad to let me off I'll be there," he said with a smile at the bouncing boy.
"You just leave Daddy to me, Papa. I've got this."
.
Jack does know how to get what he wants out of Aaron.
.
With a laugh Spencer and Jack started toward the car.
Jack sat shotgun and they buckled up.
He felt a bit tired on the drive back to their home.
Everything was slightly fuzzy.
.
Coffee is definitely in order when we get home.
We can get dinner ready; keep some warm for Aaron when he arrives.
Maybe go to the park after.
Jack would like that.
Ice cream after that?
I think we'll be ok.
It'll be ok now that Aaron's better.
.
"Papa."
.
If we're not on a case this weekend maybe we can go on a small family trip….
The beach.
Aaron loves the beach.
.
"Papa?"
...
...
Two years ago….
The sun felt warm on Spencer's skin as he lay on the beach towel under an umbrella, sunglasses shading his hazel eyes. He was reading a book while Aaron and Jack threw a Frisbee back and forth along the water's edge.
Spencer savored the moment. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the beach: waves, seagulls, kids swimming, his family playing in front of him.
He thought that if he believed in Heaven, this would most certainly be it.
Suddenly he heard footsteps and Jack's voice breaking through his meditation.
"Papa, do you wanna come build a sand castle with us?"
Spencer looked up at the excited boy looming over him and smiled, "Of course, Jack. I would love to."
He placed the book down as Jack eagerly threw his hand out to help his Papa up off the towel.
"Jack, did you know that there are yearly sand castle competitions held around the world?"
The child looked up as he shook his head, "Really? That sounds like fun! Can we do one sometime, Papa?"
"Well…," he laughed, "the people who enter those are pretty competitive. I don't think we'd fit in," Spencer added, "but maybe we can go watch one sometime. The world's tallest sand castle was built at the Sun Fun Festival in 2007 on Myrtle Beach, South Carolina by Team Sandtastic. It was 49.55 feet tall, took the team ten days to assemble, and required 300 truckloads of sand."
"Wow!" Jack's eyes grew to saucers as he absorbed the information.
He grabbed his Papa's hand as they began to walk toward Aaron.
"Hey Daddy, did you know that there are big contests to see who can build the best sand castle?"
Aaron's eyes shifted up to gaze at his lover and his son, "I didn't know that, buddy," he smiled.
"Papa did! He knows everything!"
"Well, statistically it's impossible to know everything, Jack. I do know a lot about sand castles, though. For instance, did you know that grains of sand will always stick together unless the sand is reasonably fine? While dry sand is loose, wet sand is adherent if the proper amounts of sand and water are used in the mixture. The reason for this is that water forms little 'bridges', if you will, between the grains of sand when it is damp due to the forces of surface tension. Furthermore—"
Aaron stood up then and whispered in Spencer's ear, "I love you, you know. I love your rambling. I love everything about you, Spencer."
Spencer felt his cheeks heat up and leaned into the older man.
He placed a chaste kiss to the doctor's lips before gesturing for them to sit. Spencer turned to Jack and they all took up residence on the sandy beach as they began to construct their masterpiece.
Spencer looked up and realized that this, right here, Aaron and Jack, were the family he'd always longed for but never thought he'd have.
He knew, with perfect clarity…..
He'd found his solace.
…
...
Yeah, everything can still get back to the way it was before….
"Papa!"
Jack's scream shook him out of his drug induced haze of daydreams and memories. It was the last thing Spencer heard before everything went to hell.
CRASH!
Sounds of squealing tires, shattering glass and grinding metal filled the air.
Spencer's information about sand castles came from Wikipedia.