Disclaimer: After 21 chapters of disclaimers you'd think I'd have made it abundantly clear that I do not in fact own Harry Potter. Shocking I know, but true. Harry, may he marry Ginny Weasley and live to be 150, belongs to JK Rowling.

Chapter 22 Awkward Questions

Sunday passed in a flurry of homework. Lily felt like her teachers were operating under the belief that each of their respective classes was the only one the seventh years were taking. Lily was so busy that she didn't have the opportunity to talk to James about the question that had been bothering her since Katie had inadvertently planted it in her brain the night before.

After dinner found her studying Herbology in the common room with Marlene, Katie, James and his friends. Lily had been shocked when Sirius had joined them and actually appeared to be studying.

"Can I quit school?" Sirius asked about half an hour after they sat down. "I mean, how can they expect us to get all this done?"

"Well, if you didn't put it all off until the last minute," Remus pointed out.

"Oh, sod off, Moony," Sirius replied good-naturedly.

"Well, you asked," James pointed out. "And what are you complaining about? It's not like you're all that busy. I mean if I can keep up with my homework between Quidditch, Head duties, and trying to have a life, you shouldn't have any trouble at all."

"Bloody prat," Sirius mumbled under his breath.

James laughed. "Just because you're bitter that I've become responsible is no reason to be snippy," James said grinning cheekily.

"You want to be boring, that's your problem," Sirius retorted.

When Lily woke up on Monday morning she was still preoccupied with her question. In fact as time went on it was bothering her more, rather than less. She found it difficult to pay attention in class as her mind kept wandering to it. Had he? If he had, what did that mean for their relationship? Did it bother him that she wasn't ready? If he had, whom had it been with?

Suddenly she felt someone kicking her in the leg. She looked up and gave Katie, who was the culprit, a questioning look.

"Miss Evans," McGonagall's voice rang out.

"Yes, Professor?" Lily said blushing slightly.

"Well, now that you have decided to pay attention perhaps you can explain the complexities involved in transfiguring a human into an amphibian?"

"Um…" Lily replied.

"Pay attention Miss Evans or it will be detention," Professor McGonagall said.

"Now, who can answer the question?"

This was the pattern of Lily's day, even when she was with her friends and trying to do her homework.

Eventually, nine o'clock rolled around and it was time for James and Lily's patrol. Lily knew that she needed to talk to James or she was going to go mad, but she had no idea how to broach the subject. Thankfully, James brought it up, although indirectly.

"Are you okay, Lily?" James asked after about five minutes of silent patrolling. "You've been distracted all day."

Lily looked at James nervously.

"What's wrong? Have I done something to upset you?" James asked, now looking a bit nervous himself.

"No, I…well…" Lily tried to speak but her brain and her mouth were refusing to cooperate with each other.

James stopped walking and looked around. Then he ushered Lily into the nearest empty classroom.

"All right. Obviously something is bothering you. And although I have no idea what it might be, I get the distinct impression that I'm involved in some way," James said.

Lily bit her lip and shuffled her feet nervously. Now that he had brought up the subject she had no idea how to approach it.

"Hey, it's okay, it's just me," James said taking Lily's hands in his and rubbing the backs of them with his thumbs. "What's wrong?"

A horrible thought suddenly occurred to him. Did she want to break up with him? She seemed happy. But she has been acting rather oddly since Sunday. James's stomach suddenly felt like he had eaten something wriggly, his pulse quickened, and he felt a bit shaky.

"I, well, I was talking with the girls on Saturday," Lily began.

"Okay," James said slowly.

"And I know they were just giving me a hard time, but it got me thinking, and I, well…" Lily trailed off.

"Thinking about what?" James asked in what he hoped was a soothing voice.

He was having trouble suppressing the nervousness rising within him. He found the idea of Lily breaking up with him made him feel rather nauseous.

"Well, they brought up the fact that we have the Head's Common Room all to ourselves…" again Lily trailed off.

Why was this so hard? She never had trouble talking to James about anything. Damn Katie for putting it into her head.

James relaxed slightly, though only slightly. If Lily's worries stemmed from something to do with the Head's Common room he couldn't really see how breaking up with him fit in the equation. Though that didn't mean it wasn't possible.

"And well, they made some rather, suggestive comments about what we do in there…"

James looked at her quizzically now. It wasn't that he couldn't guess what the suggestive comments were, it was more the fact that he couldn't figure out why they would bother Lily so much. They hadn't done anything more than a bit of snogging, and he knew that even if Lily's friends gave her a hard time about it, they would believe her if she told them that was all they had done.

"But it got me thinking…and I, well…"

Lily's mind was going at a hundred miles an hour. Maybe it would be better if she just didn't ask.

"Lily, what's wrong?" James asked still not sure about where this was going.

"And they wanted to know if the rumors about you being a good snog were true…"

James couldn't help the snort that escaped. "Sorry," he said.

Lily was looking at her feet. She couldn't bring herself to look at James. If she did she was sure she would chicken out and she had to know.

"So, what is it that's bothering you?" James asked.

"Well, then we were discussing your past relationships. You do have rather the reputation as a ladies man…"

"You know full well that I've had a grand total of four girlfriends, including you," James pointed out. "It's just talk."

"Yeah, I know. But most rumors are based in truth. And it got me wondering…"

Lily found she was having trouble saying the question she wanted to ask. It was like it was trapped somewhere between her brain and her mouth. The words simply refused to come out.

"Yes?" James prodded gently.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd ever…" again Lily trailed off.

"If I've ever what?" James had a feeling he knew where this was going but he wanted to be sure first.

"If you'd ever…you know," Lily looked at him at this point with raised eyebrows.

"If I've ever shagged any of them?" James asked quietly.

Lily looked away, feeling stupid at her inability to say the words, but she nodded. She could feel her face burning.

James sighed. It was times like these that he hated the Hogwarts rumor mill. Though when you locked that many teenagers in a building together he supposed it was inevitable.

James reached out with his right hand and placed it on Lily's cheek, gently turning her face so she was looking at him.

She eyed him nervously, trying to deduce the answer from his expression, but it was unreadable.

"This is really bothering you isn't it?" James said soothingly stroking her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

Lily gave him a look that was cross between anxiousness and annoyance that he wasn't answering her question. Why was he just looking at her? Why wasn't he answering? Oh Merlin, he had, hadn't he? Why was she asking? She didn't really want to know. She wasn't sure she could live up to those kinds of expectations. She simply wasn't ready.

"No, I haven't," he replied, not wanting to upset her further. "I won't deny that I've thought about it, what guy hasn't, but have I ever done it, no."

"Oh," was all Lily said feeling stupider and more embarrassed by the minute.

Her monosyllabic answer gave James the impression that, while this was the root of Lily's worry, there was a bit more to it.

"What else is bothering you?" he asked gently.

Lily looked at the floor. James was rather surprised at how shy she was being. This was very out of character for Lily whom was usually straight forward and not afraid to voice her opinion.

"I like you a lot," James ploughed on, hoping his instincts where right about what else was bothering her. "But, you know I would never pressure you into anything you aren't ready for. And, to be honest, I don't want to, at least not right now. I don't want to screw this up and shagging could definitely screw this up."

Lily looked at him with a slightly nervous smile. He hadn't and he didn't seem to think she was a total idiot.

"Are we okay?" James asked.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for being so stupid," Lily said nervously.

"You're not being stupid," James replied. "I know what the rumor mill says. It could make anyone a bit paranoid."

"Thank you," she replied with a grin.

"Now then, we have social deviants to find and punish!" James said grinning and taking Lily's hand to lead her out of the classroom.

An hour, and several social deviants, later James and Lily's patrol came to an end.

As they climbed through the portrait hole Lily yawned loudly, covering her mouth to try and hide it.

"Tired?" James asked smirking.

"Extremely," Lily replied. "I'm going to bed. I'll finish my homework tomorrow."

"Alright, good night," James said giving Lily a quick kiss.

Lily smiled at him and then went off to bed.

James went up to his dorm and flopped down on his bed.

"Rough night?" Sirius asked

"Eh," James replied.

"Did you find out what was wrong with Lily?" Peter asked curiously.

"Oh, yeah, she was acting a bit odd today. Not paying attention in class and all," Sirius said off handedly.

"Yeah…" James said, mildly annoyed that his friends had thought to ask.

He really didn't think Lily would appreciate him sharing her worries with his friends.

"Well?" Sirius asked. "You gonna share or what?"

"I'd really rather not," James replied.

"You mean she'd rather you not," Remus replied.

"Well, there's that too," James agreed picking up a Quaffle that was laying next to his bed and tossing it up into the air.

James repeatedly tossed the Quaffle for a moment thinking that his friends had decided to drop the topic.

"So, what had her knickers all in a twist? I mean, it must have been something big for her to not pay attention in class," Sirius said carelessly levitating his schoolbooks on top of one another.

"None of your business," James informed him.

"Well, now you've peaked my interest," Sirius replied. "Come on, tell us. You know you want to," Sirius said in what could almost be described as a singsong voice.

"Shut-it, Sirius," James said.

"Come on, James, we're you're best mates. You know you want to tell us," Sirius pressed further.

James sighed and continued to toss the Quaffle. It made a lovely echoing sound, rather like a basketball, when he caught it. Perhaps if he simply ignored Sirius, he would eventually give up. No such luck.

"Come on mate. Really, what was up with her?" Sirius asked again.

"You're a prat, you know that right?" James asked.

"So you've told me before," Sirius replied. "But you still haven't answered my question."

"She wanted to know if half the crap the rumor mill comes out with about me was true," James replied.

"Well, if she hasn't decided for herself if you're a good snog yet, you're clearly doing something wrong," Sirius said cheekily.

James sighed. "Those, weren't the rumors I was referring to," he grumbled. "I really don't have any objection to those rumors. And believe me, Lily will happily confirm them," James replied grinning. "Though maybe not to you," he added glaring at his best friend.

"She wanted to know if you'd ever shagged any of them," Remus spoke again and James, much to his chagrin, noticed that once again it wasn't in the form of a question.

"Thanks, Moony," James mumbled.

"She seriously asked you that?!" Sirius exclaimed, laughing so hard that he dropped the book he was currently levitating, knocking over the rest of the stack he'd been working on for the past 15 minutes.

"Yes," James grumbled.

"What did you tell her?" Sirius asked.

"The truth. That no, I hadn't," James replied.

"And I still say it's your loss," Sirius informed him.

"Whatever you say, Padfoot," James replied returning to tossing the Quaffle.

"I don't see why it bothers you so much?" Peter said. "It's not like you have, unless for some odd reason the truth upset her. Though after knowing Lily for over six years I have trouble picturing that."

"Besides the rumors never bothered you before," Sirius added.

"Yeah, well they've never had much of an affect on me before either," James pointed out. "It's not that I really care, it just bugs me. I hate the gossip mill."

"Yeah, well, not much you can do about. Might as well get over it," Sirius said.

"I suppose," James sighed. "And don't tell Lily I said anything. I think she might hex me into oblivion."

"Your secrets safe with us," Sirius replied, turning his attention back to building a new book tower.

"So, when's the next full moon?" Peter asked.