His mouth felt it had been filled with sand, but not as bad as it usually felt after he had been testing death sticks. That much Ezra knew.
For a moment he was confused. He was laying comfortably, he had a blanket over him, someone had obviously managed to get a bit of water into him and he was laying somewhere safe. This wasn't the usual state a drug tester found themselves in.
And then it came back. He hadn't been testing drugs for anyone. The drug peddler, Ghost crew, Kanan yelling at him and...and soft hands in his hair, blanket around his shoulders, water being given him.
The padawan sat up slowly, feeling muddled, the force around him fluctuating and pulsing as he came more to himself, the blanket sliding down of him as he looked around.
He was in his and Zeb's cabin, on the bottom bunk of all things. Then he grew alarmed, his clothes had been changed. Ezra grasped the blanket tightly around himself, looking around in horror as he did. Where was his clothes, had Kanan changed him? Had anyone seen?
Slowly, on unsteady feet Ezra got up, looking around before sliding his feet into his boots and making his way to the door, intent on finding his clothes and covering up before...before...
He shivered and looked around, biting his lips before making his way to the crew lounge, the Force directing him towards where he could feel Kanan. The bond between teacher and padawan weren't to deep yet, but he could tell where Kanan was on the ship at least.
He hadn't expected to find the whole Ghost crew minus Hera there. Chopping beeped something when Ezra came over and the teen held the blanket more tightly around himself, slapping on a half smile. "So, that was a interesting mission. Someone care to fill me in on where my clothes are?" He tried nonchalantly despite the steel grip he had on the blanket to keep it around himself.
"In the wash. They really needed it." Sabine offered, eyes on Ezra.
It caused the teens shoulders to tense before he looked at Kanan, struggling to retain his expression. "Oh well I'd like them bac-"
"Ezra, sit down." Kanan said quietly, gesturing the seat between himself Zeb.
'They know. They know.' Ezra tensed fully, standing a bit straighter. "I, uh, I think I just want to get some water and return to my bu-"
"Kid, you aren't leaving until we talk." Zeb stared at him. Not pityingly, not angerly, but with a odd worried but compassionate look in his eyes.
Where could a teenager run on a ship like the Ghost. Well out the airlock but Ezra hadn't spent this long surviving only to space himself. So he did the only other thing he could think of. Get angry.
"And if I don't want to?" He snapped, holding the blanket as if it could protect him.
And then a callused arm wrapped around his fabric covered elbow, the person sending soothing waves through the Force as blue and green eyes meet. "Ezra...sit." Kanan murmured, carefully guiding the teen down beside him. "You're thirsty right? Sabine, get some juice from the galley since you're closest."
The Mandelorian got up without a complaint and fetched a jug of it. Ezra really did look parched and the vitamins would do him some good, she was sure of that. She knew when you were hungover, vitamins and fluids were the best cure and she was sure the same was true after ingesting a whole death stick.
"Chopper, would you inform Hera that Ezra is awake?" The Jedi asked, receiving a few rude beeps before the astromech started rolling away.
"...Is this really necessary?" Ezra finally asked after a few seconds, staring at the pitcher of juice and the glass, itching to grab it and fill it but unwilling to leave the blanket of for even a few moments. Kanan, taking pity on his padawan, reached out and filled the glass, bringing it over to Ezra.
"Yes, now here, drink." He held the glass out to him, letting Ezra take it from him without more then a hand leaving the comfort of the blanket.
The teen drank slowly, focused on that task while the keeping his blanket shield tight so it wouldn't slip of him. It was quiet until they felt a slight jerk, signaling that Hera had landed them somewhere and soon she and Chopper were coming to see them.
Hera sat down on the other side of Ezra, smiling slightly at him before reaching out and touching his face, examining it and ignoring how tense Ezra was at the light touch. "Good, your pupils aren't dilated anymore and your coherent." She pulled her hand back.
"I'm fine..." Ezra muttered, drinking more from his juice.
"You see, you say that but...I don't think you've been fine in a long time Ezra."
Ezra didn't answer, drinking more juice.
"Kid...Ezra." Zeb sighed, leaning forward, peering at the youngest crew member. "After the fall of Lasat, after joining the Ghost...don't you think Hera and Kanan made me talk?" He prodded gently, smiling grimly when Ezra gave him a quick look.
"Hera wouldn't let me get away with hiding for long." Kanan offered up beside him. "She made me talk about...well the whole of the Jedi order being eradicated. Living my life in hiding."
Sabine smiled at him when Ezra glanced at her. "I got left for dead, my friend betrayed me and my family splintered because of the Empire. Yes they had me talking to. I told you that first day, we're a family. And we want to be your family too. That means this too."
"...I don't think Chopper wants to be family, I think he wants to zap us all." Ezra offered.
"Chopper!" Hera shouted over the rudeness the astromec was spewing, Zeb sniggering. "Kid's not wrong Hera, that mec likes zapping us to much."
Kanan snorted and slowly wound a arm around Ezra's shoulders so not to startle him.
"Getting back on track." He said louder, silencing them. "What we mean Ezra is...talking about the past is good for you. To help. To get help when its needed."
Ezra looked away, studying the glass. "...I don't need it. I'm not weak. I'm not helpless." He got out.
"We're not saying you are kid." Zeb leaned forward and placed a strong furry hand on each of the padawan's knees, making him look up. "If you were weak Ezra, you wouldn't be here." Serious green eyes peered into sapphire blue, never looking away before Zeb slowly leaned back. "Sometimes you need a shoulder to lean on, I certainly needed my fair share."
"Yeah, the flea beast has." Sabine punched the man playfully in the shoulder. "...But then again so have I. We all have Ezra." She looked to him, smiling earnestly.
Ezra swallowed, squeezing the glass before he slowly shifted the blanket and Kanan's arm of him, reaching for the pitcher and refilling it with juice. Hera barely kept her gasp in as she got a look at the teen bare arms.
He sat back slowly and glanced at them. "...Alright...but I get to go back to my bunk if I want to." Ezra finally settled on, sliding his arm protectively around his own stomach while holding his glass tightly with the other.
Kanan nodded before gesturing to Ezra's arms. "Death sticks not the only one you've tested is it?" He started of gently, watching Ezra closely as he shook his head. "No...it paid well and...I didn't always have the strength to steal...so I traded I guess, I checked the merchandises and they knew it was proper stock you know."
"Didn't it bother you that it could go wrong?" Sabine stared at him.
"...Course it did. Did a few times. One time Stormtroopers interrupted the trade, I wasn't quick enough to hide." Ezra shifted, rubbing the star burst scar on his shoulder Kanan had seen. "I got shot by... I don't know, could have been any of the sides really. I managed to crawl into a vent though after a while and stayed there."
"Ezra..." Kanan prodded gently.
"...Okay I passed out in it." Ezra grumbled a bit. "I was high and hurting at the same time."
"How old?"
"Nine I guess." Ezra shrugged and then drank more juice.
"Did you do drug testing often?" Zeb covered the silence quickly and almost sighed in relief when Ezra shook his head. "No. Just when I needed money for things I couldn't steal or I was to weak to steal."
"Things you couldn't steal?"
"Goods to heavy to steal, medicine, services that I couldn't do myself, things that were kept locked up you know." Ezra shifted a bit.
"...You had to do drug testings to get medicine?" Hera couldn't keep the pain out of her voice as she hugged the teenager tightly to him.
Ezra tensed and squirmed. "I...I got sick sometimes." He muttered.
"Oh Ezra." She held him tight.
Kanan took a deep calming breath through his nose, calling up on his training to remain calm and not scare Ezra though from the way Ezra was glancing at him under the mop of dark hair, he could feel his teacher through the Force.
"The scar on your abdomen Ezra, you had one that was...very clean." He managed to settle on, watching the way the arm tightened around his stomach.
"I..." Ezra started haltingly. They were going to know eventually. "...I sold a kidney?" He managed weakly, flinching as Hera tensed with her arms around him, the Twi'lek staring at him with shock before looking at Kanan.
"You... You sold a kidney?" Sabine repeated, eyes wide.
Ezra shrugged awkwardly, yelping in surprise as Zeb slammed his fist into the table, huddling back into the firm seat behind him. "Tell me who bought it and I'll go hunt down the sonofa-"
"Zeb." Kanan said and for a moment Ezra thought he had a voice of reason only to twitch at the raw anger on Kanan's face, the man wasn't far of letting Zeb do that. "Ezra...when and why?" He asked instead.
Ezra really didn't want to answer that but it was obvious even if he called a out he wouldn't get it right now. "...The Tower got...freezing. None of the heating worked and I was running low. None of the traders that...that accepted favors were around and the locals...never...I mean..." He licked his lips nervously.
"...I went to one of the gangs. Seeing if they had a job or something. They didn't but...I..."
"They had need of a kidney and your blood type matched..." Sabine finished for him.
He gave a short nod. "They offered me a lot of credits for it. Told them...told them they paid me first, let me stash it, buy the repair service the tower needed and then I'd give it to them." He gave a half smile, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.
"And then?" Hera asked quietly.
"...They had a droid. It knew what to do. They gave me some drugs and let the droid do the job. It...it went fine. I was just sore for a few days after...I mean..."
"Days or weeks?" Kanan slid his arm around Ezra's lower back, holding his padwan along with Hera.
"...Months really." Ezra confessed. "But...but I got the Tower patched and the heat returned. And I had enough to survive the winter months." Not that he had been able to leave the Tower for a full month, surviving on what he had bought before the surgery.
He spent that first day just laying in his tower, crying every time he moved as much as a inch, his breathing thick and shallow, tears streaming down his face and wishing desperately that his parents, that anyone had been there for him.
Kanan arm tightened around him as did Hera's and Ezra noticed both Zeb and Sabine moving closer, their presence comforting.
"...When did you sell it Ezra?" Kanan asked again, his voice quieter. "...Year before I meet all of you."
"Ezra..." The Jedi held him tighter, burying his face in the others dark hair. If they had come just a year earlier. Just a year before. Would that really have hampered them to much if they had meet Ezra just a year earlier?
"...I'm fine really...bit hungry though." Ezra whispered, almost making a noise when Hera stood.
"Well lets get some food into you...and then a trip into the medbay to check your blood levels...and I think lower your protein intake just in case for now..." Hera moved to the galley, leaving Ezra blinking after her. "I'll go fetch a sweater, you're gonna catch a cold like that Ezra." Sabine stood, hurrying to the cabins.
Zeb grunted and got up too. "I'll help Hera, we all need food I think."
Chopper beeped something rudely but instead of zapping Ezra he bumped lightly into his leg and then rolled to check on some of the ship equipment.
The teen blinked slowly and looked up at Kanan, finding the other already staring at him with a intense look in his eyes.
"...We are so proud of you. For becoming who you are. For living. For surviving." He murmured quietly. "We are so happy you're here, with us Ezra. You are stronger then even I thought possible. And right now, you shine like a bright star to us." He smiled slightly.
Ezra stared at the older man, confused, scared and feeling so warm deep inside as Kanan reached out with the Force, gently sending waves of love and comfort through the still forming bond the two had.
He settled his forehead against Ezra's "For all that you survived, you're still here and still bright and you have no idea how proud that makes us." He repeated quietly, feeling a tentative response from Ezra reaching out with his own Force.
"...Kanan...thank you."
The Jedi smiled and closed his eyes, sitting there quietly with his forehead against Ezra's, both tentatively exploring the bond that tied them, Jedi and padawan, together.
Author note: Once again, thank you all for the overwhelming reviews to Safe here. This is the last part of the fic I have managed to crank out and I don't think I will be making more though I'm not ruling it out that I will once I have watched one or two more episodes of Star Wars Rebel. As of now I have only watched two episodes. Oh, ps, I KNOW Ezra is canocally 15 as of Empire day but can you blame me for shaving of just a year to get him safe? Heh until next time people.