Androidess Explained:

This is becoming more of a 'diary' than a database of ideas. Though to me a 'diary' is a record of all the stories, poems, or ideas I think that day. Never have I managed to write actual events into some sort of journal. They're meaningless compared to all the thoughts – especially those thoughts of a philosophical nature.

My brain is like a computer, as I've often stated. It feels like there's always numerous 'programs' running. When I do a simple task like drawing there's always story ideas just keep going on and on in the background. Like a computer, I must do something with the results of all my 'programs'. Letting them go on unnoticed will cause a mental 'crash'. I give the results to you, fellow RHPS fans. And I dedicate the results to actors from RHPS. Before I wrote this stuff I was a bit crazier and I would write other things that were less organized (they weren't for specific audience and they made less sense). As the years have gone by I've gotten more and more ideas going 'round my mind.

It's good I have something to do with the ideas. Though now I've begun to expect somebody to acknowledge them. That's silly, I know.

Just read one of my poems for a better explanation:

I am she who writes stories few read

I have little other purpose, it seems

Like a machine I click at the keyboard

My mind processes like a computer

As most androids do, I exist to please

Cold tears appear on this face of tin

When I think nobody reads my work

Some I'll admit is passionless nonsense

That I write when I can think of no else

Dear Actors, I write this in your honor

And for the legions, centurions, senators

Those beings called 'fans' are my masters

I work for them as best I can

No prince would rescue a metal damsel

I'm valued for my mind, my ideas

Like a calculator I'm just a simple tool

Though I have my own mind and heart

I'm just a computerbase to most people

To be or not to be, that's my question

To stab a life away seems too cowardly

There's always more I can type for you.

Just so you know... 'legions' are fans in general, 'centurions' are shadowcasts, and 'senators' are the original fanclub (they're old/"senex").

Though what to do with these thoughts? Well, I've given myself self-imposed "3-law compliancy programming" (based on Isaac Asimov's robot stories). Metaphorically I am the "androidess" whose Duty (sort of like my version of the second law) is to deliver some kind of knowledge to the fellow fans. That's supposed to mean my stories but now it means random knowledge in absence of stories.

Here are the laws, as I think of them:

· I will not let myself harm a human, or let them be harmed, if it's in my power to stop such an event. Though I have little power over any things that aren't my own actions. So that law isn't very important.

· Then we've got the second law. That's the most important, I think. For me this law becomes the idea that I must work for someone – the other fans and the movie's creators, I've decided – by putting all these ideas that can't stay in my mind into something for them.

· The third law is to not let myself come to harm as long as it doesn't conflict with earlier laws. That way of doing things is dangerous I think. Perhaps sci-fi should stay fictional...

That's how I think. If I can't give people stories, I'll give them knowledge instead. I love teaching by conversation! Socrates did something like that, if I remember correctly. Though now I can't really converse with people so I'm both replacing by inability to think of good stories and lack of not-busy people to talk to with this 'diary'. When I talk to people I can usually find a topic I know much of. I know a bit of nearly everything and a lot of certain things. So here I've been finding random things to rant about. In some cases I've done some research to check facts.

Whatever this is about, I hope people will read and enjoy it. This is like me talking to many people at once (or so it seems). I dearly hope Ms. Patricia Quinn one day reads it and is proud of me – and all the other fans, her fans. This is the closest I'll ever get to talking to her. There's a tiny chance she might read it. Though I can't tell her all about Rome and Claudius and Livilla and movie history and everything because the people more likely to read this would get annoyed. That's my greatest wish currently, I think, to get to tell her all sorts of things. But that's so impossible and I've got to stop wishing silly thing. And I'd bet she already knows basically everything in the universe because people her age generally do.

Please... say something? I know people read this.