Halo halo. Yup yup yup. I'm back back back. Enjoy enjoy enjoy. It's one of my odd hour updates and please, enjoy the 3,900k+ words of goodness. Please excuse any errors if present.

HAUNTING MEMEORIES

Alice stroked Lucas' hair gently and looked down at him lovingly. The fading sunshine illuminated his soft features.

"Lu," she whispered.

Lucas slowly opened his eyes and regarded her carefully.

She smiled at him gently. "You don't have to push yourself. I know that you aren't ready and it would be very selfish of me to push you to progress our relationship. It took you a lot of courage to kiss me, didn't it?"

At that moment, Lucas tried to turn his head away from Alice, but she cupped his cheeks and pulled him to face her.

He quickly averted his gaze and settled with glaring at Mitch and his partner.

"Hey! Look at me," she ordered. Slowly he obeyed her command. "I just want you to know that I'm not forcing you to do anything that you don't want to do."

"I just want to make you happy," he blurted out.

Alice moved forward and chastely kissed him. "You already are."

"R-really? I thought I was doing a terrible job..."

Alice sighed and looked at him hopelessly. "When will you learn to value yourself a little more?" she muttered.

He placed his hands on hers and brought them down from her face.

"Lu, what's wrong? Your hands are shaking..."

"I-I'm just a bit nervous."

Alice opened her mouth to ask him what he was so nervous about, but he cut her off.

He stared at the blanket between them. "U-um...Remember the night that you found me drunk? Well, I've been counting and today makes it one year since that incident happened. I realized that even after you told me how you felt about me, I never really find anything to show my gratitude. I had been thinking about what to give to you for some time and I finally came up with this. It's nothing much, but I hope you appreciate it."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flat rectangular black velvet box. He took the cover off and held up a beautiful necklace that shimmered in the sunlight. A delicate silver chain supported a finely wrought atom. The four shells that intersected one another were also skilfully crafted with silver, and at the atom's nucleus was a perfectly round amethyst gemstone.

"It's supposed to be something like a friendship bracelet. Even though it's childish, I liked the idea, and it suits the occasion. Alice, you dragged me out of my darkness. You reached out to me, and didn't judge me, no matter what I did or said. You are the first person who's never scorned me for my habits or history or personality. You're the first who's ever stayed. I know I haven't done anything to deserve it, but, Alice Gehabich, let this token symbolize our friendship."

Alice threw her arms around Lucas. She hugged him tightly, and some of her tears dampened his collar.

"You're free to grind it to dust any day you choose."

"Stop saying those things. You may not see it, but you're a great help, and whenever you're with me, I feel like I'm on top of the world. Thank you so much! The necklace is beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." He clasped it around her neck and brushed some of her hair that was covering it aside.

Just then, a mischievous glint flashed in Alice's eyes and she grinned deviously. "You said this was a friendship necklace, right. Where's yours? Don't they come in pairs? Both friends have to have a piece, don't they?"

Lucas coloured instantly. "Y-yes I have mine, but I just haven't worn it in public yet," he sputtered.

Alice cooed, "Come on. Put on yours. You'd look absolutely adorable in a necklace."

"It's not a necklace..."

"Wait! Don't tell me! Let's make this interesting. If I guess right in three tries, then you have to wear it as long as I wear mine."

She started guessing before he could decline. "Let's see... Is it a ring?"

Lucas shook his head.

"An anklet?"

He flinched but shook his head. Alice noticed and purred.

"I see...It's a bracelet, isn't it?"

Lucas moaned, then pulled out a matching bracelet and fastened it to his left hand.

Alice lifted his hand to the sunlight and smiled. "I can see why you're embarrassed. It accentuates your small feminine hands perfectly!"

Lucas childishly puffed out his cheeks and whined. She laughed. He sat back on his hands and watched as she covered her mouth with a hand and he smiled sadly at the beautiful sound that escaped her lips.

I don't deserve her.

After a while, Alice sobered down. She looked up at Lucas curiously. "Hey...I was wondering why you're so...you know...uncomfortable with deepening our relationship." She played with the atom on the end of her necklace.

"I'm scared," Lucas whispered. At that moment, Mitch and Sally, the other horse, lay down behind him.

Alice's head shot up. "Scared? Of what?"

He gripped the blanket. "I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into a pool with tall slippery walls all around it. No matter how hard I try to swim up, I keep sinking deeper..."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that I'm scared of becoming too involved with you. I'm afraid that you'll find someone better and leave me behind when I'm already deeply in love with you."

"Is that why you've been distancing yourself from us these past few days?"

"Yes...It hurts to know that you guys will go...but what scares me is that I don't know when."

Alice moved closer to him. "What makes you think we'll leave"

"You just will. They always do." He was haunted by memories of his mother turning her back on him, his adopted sister taunting him, his father scorning him, and his dear brother drowning in his own blood.

He didn't notice when Alice wrapped him into a tight embrace, or when she started stroking his hair and kissing his forehead.

"Please Lu. Just give us a chance. I promise, none of us will ever hurt you. As for me, let me drag you down to the floor of that pool, and let me prove to you that you will be the only guy I'll ever love, despite your flaws."

"S-stop... I don't deserve you. I don't want to trap you... I'm tired of being a burden."

"You are not a burden. Not to me or anyone else. Don't hold me in such high regard either. I have lots of faults. Just...Just give us a chance."

She slid her forehead down to his and kissed him passionately and by no means chastely. She pushed him back against Mitch and deepened the kiss.

Sometimes we need to be prodded to move forward.

After breaking apart for air, she slid her lips down his exposed neck and began kissing, nibbling and sucking on a random spot.

Lucas kept silent and only flinched when she bit too hard. He wouldn't stop her. He knew that's what she wanted, and she knew she was frustrated with him.

When she was satisfied, she glanced up at him.

"You liked it, didn't you?"

He tensed, but nodded all the same.

"If you don't go for what you want, then you will never get anywhere." She crawled off of him and started packing up. "Come on Louisa!"she teased. "The sun set a few minutes ago."

Lucas cracked an eye open and looked at his watch. It was around six. Wow. I really was tired. He stretched and surveyed the area. There was a whole litter of apples around him, and nonchalantly, he picked up one and dropped it into a bag he saw near the tree.

Suddenly, Apple Pie seemed very appetizing.

He got up and scratched the back of his neck. "The squirts won't notice I'm gone anyway. A few more minutes can't possibly hurt.

And so, in an attempt to clear his mind, Lucas hummed an old French favourite of his while raiding the trees.

"That should be enough," he said after twenty minutes of picking and a bag that was practically bursting at the seams. I can replace that later. He gave the place a final one over then left.

Alice stood at the sink, arm deep in soapy water. Carla was upstairs reading to Zachary. A warm plate of mashed potatoes and roast beef with greens lay in wait for Lucas. She didn't even turn when she heard the door creak open and footsteps approaching the table.

"Evening," he forced out.

"Hey." Alice finished washing the dishes and sat before him. He had taken up the cutlery and started his meal. "You know why I'm here, right?"

"Let me guess. Because of the children and the reunion."

"And the divorce. I asked Joe to deliver these, but apparently he didn't."

She pushed some papers towards him.

He had already steeled his nerves on the way back so he was feeling much more confident.

Dropping his knife with a clatter, he lifted a hand and shook his head. "I have no intention of divorcing you." Alice's breath hitched in her throat not because of his words, but because of the glint of silver on his wrist that caught her eye. There, shining in all its glory was the matching bracelet to the necklace he gave to her so many years ago.

Her hand almost moved to the pocket of her pants to retrieve the necklace, but she caught herself just in time to hear what her husband was saying.

"I will not allow my children to suffer. All I want is for them to grow up with two supportive married parents. I've already spoiled Carla's childhood. I don't want to make Zach miserable either."

Alice grit her teeth. What he said was true, but divorce was the only way for them to fix this mess. She had caused irreparable damage, and there was no way that she could atone for her sin.

"Look…Let's just take things one step at a time then. We'll just focus on the reunion now and sort out this issue at another time."

Lucas raised an eyebrow at the word issue, but kept silent.

"It will be a big problem if the others find out that we're separated. Joe and Chan already know. There's no need for anyone else to get involved." She spoke in a hushed tone while staring at the table.

"I think it would be best if we're not around each other. It'll only spark up emotions – well, on my part at least."

"True, that would be best," she replied, completely ignoring the last part of his sentence.

"If anyone asks lets tell them we made a bet." Lucas speared a piece of beef with his fork.

"A bet?" Alice looked at him, a bit confused.

"Yes. A bet. We can say that you made a deal with me to see how long we can stay away from each other and give each other the cold shoulder. The one who cracks first gets a prize."

"What will the prize be then?"

"It's a secret. The winner's choice of course."

"Alright. That should be good enough." Of course it's perfect. It sounds exactly like some childish game that we'd play if we were still together. Apart from that, Lucas is taking this whole thing pretty well. He's recovered a lot since that day. She was staring at the table for so long that she did not notice when he had finished his meal and rose from his seat.

"Well…are we done here?"

"Eh?! Oh…Yeah." She got up and trotted to her room, not failing to notice the huge bag of apples sitting on the floor. Oh. So that's where he went to clear his mind. No doubt he's going to bake something. I might as well put those two to bed.

In the kitchen after washing his plate, Lucas donned an apron and a chef's hat. He grabbed a few huge bowls and filled some with water, then he sat around the table and began washing the scores of apples that he had brought home. Lucas Grendahay always baked when he was troubled or depressed or upset. The worse he felt, the longer he worked, and he was feeling really horrible right then.

After two and a half hours of carefully washing apples and removing the stems, he carefully dried them for another two hours and after that, he decided to turn his attention to the dough for the pastry. He cut and folded and kneaded fat into flour for two more hours and put the whole thing into the refrigerator. He then peeled some of the apples and made about three jugs full of apple juice.

At one o'clock, the man finally took a break. He went out the front door and collapsed onto one of the chairs on the veranda.

My eyes feel like they're on the verge of withering and falling right out of my head, my feet and arms feel about ready to drop off, and my head feels ready to explode. Yet I still can't sleep. His thoughts drifted back to a certain red head. Wow. She didn't even show any remorse. She didn't look sorry or one bit regretful for what she did. Shivers travelled down his spine at the cold heartedness of his wife. The sun would rise for a few more hours, and the dough was resting anyway, so he could afford to laze around for the time being. He lay back and stared up at the moon. For some reason, he couldn't clear his mind.

Lucas stumbled into his apartment and locked the door behind him. He looked at the calendar. It was May 26. The anniversary of a day he wished he could blot out of his memory forever. He bolted to the wine cooler in his kitchen and pulled out a bottle of Osborne Sherry.

He reached up into a cupboard for a lighter and a box of cigarettes before plopping onto his sofa. Not even bothering to get a glass, he wrenched the cork off and took a long swig. After fumbling around with the lighter and a cigarette for a few seconds, he was comfortably stretched out in his sofa smoking and drinking and having a jolly good time cursing his father, mother, sister, and practically everyone else with a negative influence on his life.

He was dragging himself back to his spot with another bottle of sherry when there was a knock on the door. He cursed under his breath and strode over to it. Flinging it open with an annoyed tone, he was slightly surprised to see a familiar red head staring at him wide eyed.

"What do you want?" he spat out.

Alice wanted to speak, but she was so shocked that no words came out. Getting more aggravated at her delayed response, Lucas dragged her inside and slammed her against the door, locking it shut at the same time.

She took in his appearance. Adrenaline coursed through her veins. He was dishevelled, with a full bottle of alcohol in his hands. His breath stank of it and cigarette smoke clawed at her lungs. His eyes were glazed over and his face flushed, but he looked angry and dangerous. He was feral.

She wanted to run. She wanted to scream. She wanted to hide or call for help, but neither her legs nor his arms would let her. She stared at the ground in fear as he continued to survey her face.

"Hey beautiful. You're the perfect addition to my celebration."

Alice shivered. He whispered into her ears, his breath ghosting across her neck, "Yeah. You're just like a present for me to unwrap."

Suddenly, all of the messages that her brain was sending to her feet came through. She tried to wrench her hands free and pull away from him. That only angered him further and he twisted her wrists and pulled her body flush to his. Cold eyes stared into hers. "Hey. It's no fun if you go running about."

"Let go of me! Lucas get a grip!" she tried in vain to bring him back to his senses, however, he only began ravaging her neck.

"Stop!" she pretended to snake her hands around his neck then dug her nails into it. When he pulled back, she stomped on his foot with her boots and grabbed the sherry bottle and crashed it into his stomach, praying that the shards of glass didn't stab him. Lucas fell to the ground unconscious.

When he woke up, his stomach was wrapped in bandages and a cool cloth was on his forehead. With great effort he sat up in bed but his heart flipped when he saw Alice huddled up in a corner of his room. Each of her soft sobs felt like a blow to the chest.

'Oh my goodness...What did I do to her?'

He crawled off the bed and stumbled to his feet. "A-Alice," he called as he hobbled over gripping his head. Judging by the size of his headache and the state of his room, he concluded that he had gotten drunk.

Finally reaching her, he kneeled down and placed a hand on her head. "Alice. Please, tell me what's wrong. What did I do to you?"

She rose her head and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "Nothing."

He pleaded with her, grey eyes filled with concern. "Don't lie to me…" He surveyed her face and hands. They were okay. There was a scarf arranged carefully around her neck. Feeling suspicious, he quickly peeled it off and nearly got sick at the sight of the ugly bruises on it. They had been dressed and looked after already, just like his own wounds.

He pulled her into a tight hug and apologized. "I am so, so sorry. Sorry that you had to see me like that. Sorry that I hurt you. Sorry that I scared you." Alice started crying once more. He was surprised that she even let him touch her after he had treated her so badly. Not knowing how else to comfort her, Lucas decided to stroke her hair gently. 'Bloody fool. You just can't help dragging others into your problems, can you?'

After she had calmed down, she had passed out. Lucas placed her on his bed where she would be more comfortable, then proceeded to take a painkiller for his stomach and head and clean his apartment. As soon as he had cleaned the last of the cigarette ash and spilled alcohol from the floor, Alice stepped into the living room.

"Why?"

"Eh?"

Alice levelled him with a reprimanding glare and motioned to the wine cooler and ash tray.

Lucas sighed and collapsed onto his sofa. "It's just how I cope."

"Cope with what?"

"Stuff."

"You owe me an explanation, not one word answers." She didn't miss a beat. Of course she was entitled to at least learn the reason behind his behaviour after being a victim of it.

"Today is May 26. Something horrible happened on that day, and I still regret it. Drinking is the only way I cope. My father…No…practically my whole family despises me. My brother, Michael, was the only one who ever cared about me. You probably already know about his death. It was my fault. He always tried to please me, no matter the cost. One day we packed up his car and headed for a mountain. He said he wanted me to experience hiking. About halfway there, I was reading the fold out map, but it got caught in the wind and blew out the window. He pulled up, but before he could say anything, I ran out of the car to get it. I didn't see or hear the car speeding towards me, but I can still hear the screeching brakes, the sound of twisting metal, the dull thud…I can still see his face…covered in blood…not to mention the rest of his body. He was smiling at me, and the last thing he did was pat me on the head. "Lu, how many times have I told you that you're way too clumsy for your own good?" Those were his last words. I don't know how long I shouted his name. I don't know how long I clung to his dead body for. I don't know how long it took for my tear ducts to dry up. I'd begged him to take me with him. For days I prayed that we could switch places...that I was in that coffin instead of him…"

"If you were given the opportunity to switch places now, would you still?" Alice asked him.

"Yes." He answered without hesitation.

When Lucas next opened his eyes, warm sunshine greeted him instead of darkness. He stretched and yawned. Who would've known? I did fall asleep. He checked his watch. 6:30. Alright. Let's start baking. Rising from his seat, he tried to shake the unwelcome memory from his head.

As soon as the others in the house got up, their noses were assaulted with the scrumptious scent of apples filtering up from downstairs. The children rushed down as soon as they had washed up, and Alice followed soon after. On the table was a grand spread. One of the many warm, gooey apple pies that Lucas had baked shortly before was the centre of attraction. With it was a jug of apple juice and stacks of apple pancakes with bacon and eggs. There was also an apple-oatmeal cookie at the side of each plate as well as a jug of water.

Carla's eyes shone with pleasure. Zachary called his father who was leaning against the window and staring at the set of swings in the front of the yard. "Daddy, aren't you going to eat what you made with us?"

"Eh?" Lucas turned towards his son and smiled gently. "Sorry. I've lost my appetite."

Good morning all. If you notice, my view of Ace (Lucas) has been refined greatly. In my imagination, he looks a trillion times better than the original character. The males in my works are usually tailored to fit my tastes. I have never gotten drunk before. I hate alcohol, and drunkenness conflicts with my religious beliefs. I do not know what hickeys look or feel like. I do not know what it feels like to be in love. And I don't know why I am spouting random info on myself. Anyways, I must retire very soon. Farewell.

"Your thoughts are sort of like a rudder, they steer the rest of your body."

-Craig Williams

~ Anne Callendar