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"Hey, I'm ready," Lorelai informed Luke as he walked into their bedroom three weeks later. "I condensed my bag and everything."
"About time," he muttered as he looked at the suitcase resting on the bed. "Is that it?"
"Yep," Lorelai acknowledged with a proud smile. "Just that and my carry on."
Luke gave her an impressed nod. "You've come along way since that damn backpack you made me drive back to your house," he commented.
Lorelai shrugged as she slid a book into her purse. "Things change," she admitted. "Plus, April told me there's lots of good shopping in New Mexico, so I'd be prepared to buy another suitcase while we're there."
"You do realize that's not the point of this trip, right?" he asked.
"Right, I know, we're going to cheer her on at the science competition thing," Lorelai nodded. She smiled as he lifted her suitcase off the bed. "I'm just going to ask one more time…"
"Don't," he said, glancing over his shoulder as he hoisted the bag down the stairs. "April wants you there. I want you there."
"I know that," Lorelai said. "But we'll be on Anna's turf. I don't want to intrude."
He sighed as he stopped on the front porch and turned to look at her. "You're not an intrusion, you're my wife. April's stepmom. We've come a long way," he told her.
Lorelai crossed her arms over her chest and stared stubbornly at the ground. "We have, yeah," she said. "And I guess Anna has too. But she and I haven't actually seen each other since…before. What if she sees me and gets some sort of reminder of why she hated me in the first place?"
"Then you and I will go have a nice dinner out on the town and go to April's presentation tomorrow," Luke shrugged. "We don't need to spend every second with Anna."
"You're going to see her."
"No, we're going to see April," Luke said. "I really think things will be different, but if Anna's not being nice we'll just do our own thing."
"Okay," Lorelai sighed. He offered her arm a squeeze before he dragged her suitcase down the porch steps and placed it in the bed of his truck beside his own, much smaller, suitcase. Lorelai checked to make sure the front door was locked, then slid into his car beside him. "Do you think Paul Anka will be okay?"
"He'll be fine," Luke nodded. "Babette was excited when I dropped him off."
"Babette's excited when the mail gets dropped off," Lorelai countered. "Maybe I should have left one of my sweaters so he won't forget me."
"We'll be for three days," Luke said. "He'll be fine."
"I know," Lorelai sighed. She watched as Stars Hollow's picturesque landscape began to evolve into Hartford's more urban setting outside the window. "When we get back it will be my birthday week."
He frowned as he looked at her. "Really?" he asked sarcastically. "I had no idea."
She giggled and reached out to smack his arm. "I've been working on your list," she said.
"What list?"
"Hi, just because we're married doesn't mean you get out of your five hours," Lorelai replied.
He rolled his eyes. "That's not fair, I've been fixing stuff around the house since we moved in," he countered.
"Which is exactly why this list entails an entirely different kind of manual labor," Lorelai informed him, a glimmer in her eyes.
Luke glanced at her, suddenly curious to see this new list. "Anything you want to share?" he asked.
"Nope," she shook her head with a giggle. As they began to approach the airport she asked, "Are you nervous?"
"About what?" Luke asked.
Lorelai tiled her head to the side. "Your first plane trip," she said.
"This isn't my first plane trip."
She frowned. "When have you ever flown anywhere?" she asked.
Luke's jaw clenched, then he said quietly, "I flew to Vancouver before that cruise."
"Oh," Lorelai said. "Right." She sometimes forgot that she wasn't the only one who'd stumbled into a spontaneous mistake of a marriage before this real one.
"Plus I traveled a bit before my dad got sick," Luke shrugged.
"You did?" she asked. It was amazing to her that she could still learn things about her husband.
"Yeah, I spent a summer before college touring baseball stadiums," Luke replied.
"You went to college?" Lorelai asked in astonishment. She was beginning to feel like an idiot for not knowing these basic details about her own husband.
He shook his head and pulled into the parking garage. "Just a year," he said. "Never graduated, had too much going on at home."
"Oh," Lorelai nodded. She could deduce he'd dropped out to take care of his dad. "Where'd you go?"
"Connecticut College," he replied. "I was going to study sports management. I wanted to work for the Red Sox one day."
She shook her head slightly. "I had no idea," she said.
He offered her a smile as he pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine. "Got to keep some of the mystery alive, right?" he asked.
"I guess," Lorelai said. "Well, this is completely anticlimactic!"
"Why?" he asked, handing her bag to her.
"I thought I was going to get to experience your first flight," Lorelai sighed. "Now I know you're an expert, so I'll have to find new ways to entertain myself on the plane."
Luke sighed as they walked into the airport. "I hate flying."
"Oh, I bet you have a plane rant!" Lorelai exclaimed, tapping his shoulder excitedly. "Do your plane rant!"
"Let's just try to get through security without being violated," he grumbled as he led her to the check in counter.
"This is the first time I'm going to use my new license," Lorelai reported as she slipped the card out of her wallet.
Luke turned to offer her a smile. "I still don't understand how you got such a good picture," he said, taking the card for examination.
"I took a page out of my mother's book and brought my own camera guys," Lorelai explained.
"You didn't." Luke paused. "Did you?"
"No," Lorelai giggled. "But I did go to Sephora and pretended I was going to buy their most expensive foundation so they'd give me a free make up trial."
"That, I believe," Luke replied. He smiled down at his own last name printed on her license for another moment before he handed it back to her.
"How come we never went on a honeymoon?" Lorelai asked as they inched towards the counter.
"I told you, this summer we'll take the boat out," Luke replied.
"Yeah, but that's like…a normal thing," Lorelai shrugged. "We did that last summer."
"I have a plan."
Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him. "Is this some sort of kidnapping plan?" she asked.
"Yeah, I always have to drag you onto the boat against your will," he said sarcastically.
"It's my boat too now," she reminded him. She offered the desk attendant a smile as they stepped forward. As she handed him her license she offered, "I'll sign any papers you need me to."
Luke sighed as he handed over his own ID, and the clerk gave Lorelai a confused stare. "Usually we just take your bags and give you your tickets."
"Yeah, but if you need a signature, I'm your girl," Lorelai continued. "I've got a great new name."
"We're good, thanks," the clerk said.
Lorelai frowned and crossed her arms over her chest as their bags were weighed. Luke nodded his thanks as he accepted their tickets, then led Lorelai towards security. "You don't need to announce it to everyone," he murmured into her ear.
She shot him a look as she balanced on his arm, unzipping her boots. "I seem to remember you yelling at the poor temporary mailman because mail came to the house in my old name the week after our wedding," she said.
Luke's face tightened. "That wasn't because it was addressed to Lorelai Gilmore," he said flatly.
"Then who was it addressed to?"
He ran a hand over his face. "Lorelai Hayden."
"What?" Lorelai asked, turning to look at him. "What was it?"
"Some dumb magazine," Luke shrugged. "I threw it out, couldn't stand the sight of it."
Lorelai frowned, wracking her brain about what could possibly have been addressed to her with Christopher's name. Changing her name had never even crossed her mind during her brief first marriage. "I don't know where that came from," she promised. "I was never going to…"
"Move it along!"
Luke snapped to attention at the order of the security officer, and Lorelai watched as he stepped through the x-ray machine. His jaw was set as he was waved through, collected his belongings, and sat down to put his shoes back on. She quietly did the same, wondering if she should push the matter or let it go. When her boots were zipped into place and her purse was slung over her shoulder, she stood to meet Luke's gaze evenly.
"I don't know why that came," she said quietly. "I never even thought about it, really."
"I know," he said. "It's not your fault, I'm not mad. I just don't like even thinking about it."
"I know you don't," Lorelai said quietly. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head and reached for her hand, tugging her out of the busy security area. "It's forgotten," he said. "There are just…insecurities that pop up sometimes, you know?"
"Trust me, I know," Lorelai said, taking a shaky breath. "I'm really nervous about this, Luke."
"I know you are," he murmured. "But nothing's going to change. Anna's okay with you, really. She's had over two years to realize you're not going to steal April away."
"Just don't leave me alone with her?" Lorelai requested. "I hate sounding needy or clingy or whatever, but…please?"
"Don't have to ask me twice," Luke promised.
"Good," Lorelai said. She glanced at the departure board and nodded. "Twenty minutes until boarding, that means we have time to find coffee!"
Luke trudged after her, wondering what he'd gotten himself into. He loved Lorelai, but he was starting to question what he'd been thinking when he'd volunteered to sit beside her for six hours in an enclosed space with very little to do.
He hoped the playing cards and Red Vines he'd stashed in his own carry on would be enough to keep her happy.
XXXXX
"Oh, thank God we're off that plane," Lorelai sighed, holding her arms out and spinning in a slow circle in the middle of the airport as they deboarded the plane in New Mexico. "I was seriously bored."
"I had no idea," Luke said sarcastically.
She frowned as she turned to look at him. "It was a long flight!" she defended herself.
"You were complaining of boredom before we flew over New York," Luke said, striding ahead of her. "It takes longer to get to your parents' house than it did for you to start whining."
"I didn't hear you complaining over Kansas when we had our little meet and greet in the bathroom," Lorelai smirked.
"Yeah, that worked well."
She shrugged. "It looks easier in the movies," she said. She reached for his hand and looked up at him with a smile. "I'm glad you're excited. This is nice, a new adventure together."
He offered her a smile as they approached the exit. "Yeah," he said. "It is."
As they walked through the security checkpoint, Luke dropped her hand to embrace a waiting April tightly. She hugged him back eagerly, practically bouncing as she told him how excited she was to have them there. As Luke planted a kiss to the top of April's head, Lorelai could feel someone staring at her, and she looked beyond the reunion to see Anna standing several yards away. She swallowed hard and plastered what Luke called her fake smile across her face before she offered a small wave.
"Hi Lorelai!" April cried, hurrying from Luke's arms to Lorelai's. Lorelai relaxed as she wrapped her arms around her stepdaughter. She hadn't seen her since two days after the wedding, and she'd missed the teenager more than she'd realized.
"Hey, sweetie, you look beautiful!" Lorelai said. "Inspection!"
April smiled as she stood up straight for Lorelai's inquisitive eye. As Lorelai circled around her, she commented, "You're growing up. Stop it!"
"Sorry, can't help it," April relaxed. "I'm so glad you're here!"
"Well, it's not every day a member of the family gets a fancy science award," Lorelai replied. "Plus, your dad was going crazy without seeing you."
"I missed you guys too," April affirmed.
Lorelai took a deep breath as she and April walked over to where Anna and Luke were exchanging pleasantries. Anna offered Lorelai a small smile. "Hi, Lorelai."
"Hi," Lorelai answered, tucking her hair behind her ears as she looked down at her feet. "Um, thanks for getting us tickets to the ceremony."
"Of course," Anna commented with a nod. She wrapped her arm around April and said, "This one's dying to show you her room, but I can drop you off at your hotel first, if you want to settle in."
Luke glanced down at Lorelai, who shrugged. "Up to you."
With a nod towards April he asked, "What do you think, kid?"
"Come see our house!" April pleaded. "I'm so excited for you to see it!"
Luke nodded. "We can head to the hotel later," he nodded.
"You've seen one, you've seen them all," Lorelai agreed.
"Yay!" April cried. After they'd collected their bags, April looped her arm through Luke's and chatted all about the events she had planned for the day. Anna charged ahead, and Lorelai trailed after them, watching as April rested her head on Luke's shoulder while they walked. She wondered if it was growing up without him or having been separated from him for so long that made April latch onto him. Lorelai noticed the almost childlike way April clung to her father, and marveled at how natural it seemed. Which, she supposed, made sense.
When they reached the car, April slipped into the backseat and Luke offered Lorelai a nod. "Sit with her," he encouraged, holding the back door open.
Lorelai glanced into the car and asked, "Are you sure?"
He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Positive," he nodded. "The two of you can cancel each other out with your yammering."
She giggled and slipped into the backseat beside April. As she reached to buckle her seatbelt she briefly caught Anna's gaze in the mirror. Anna quickly made work of turning the car on, and Lorelai turned to April, asking a question about the science award and wondering whether she'd gotten herself in over her head with this.
An hour later, Lorelai was perched on the end of April's bed, looking around her room. April was showing Luke the collection of arrowheads she'd collected during a science field trip, but Lorelai was only half listening as she took the time to admire how very April the room seemed. The walls were a soft lavender, but the rug and bedspread were turquoise. Book were piled on top of the desk and dresser, and Lorelai couldn't help but smile when she saw the pictures that were shoved into the corners of the mirror. A few were of April and Anna, most were of April with nameless other teenage faces, but the picture that drew Lorelai's attention was the familiar one from her own mantel of their perfect family of four during her wedding. With a smile, Lorelai recognized her own face beaming up from another picture, during their mini golf outing the summer before. It was the first real day she and April had spent together, and it touched her to know that April remembered that day just as fondly as she did.
"Oh, I should show you the backyard!" April exclaimed, breaking into Lorelai's train of thought. "It has a sun dial!"
"Sure," Lorelai nodded. "I'll meet you there in a minute."
"You okay?" Luke asked, reaching out to touch her arm gently.
"Yeah, just call of nature," Lorelai said, slipping towards the bathroom.
Luke nodded, then turned to follow April. With the door closed behind her, Lorelai splashed some water on her face and then looked at her reflection in the mirror. "You can do this," she murmured. "For Luke."
Realistically, Lorelai knew that things were better with April's mother. Gone was the woman who'd judged her without knowing her, and in her place was a quiet, but inviting, woman who had welcomed her ex-boyfriend's wife into her home with courtesy. Lorelai had been touched by Anna's request that she be named April's emergency legal guardian, but she still couldn't shake the fact that Anna had been a huge rock that had fallen on her first, fragile relationship with Luke.
"You're not made of glass anymore," Lorelai reminded herself. "You're a damn lead brick, rocks can't shake you."
With a final sigh of determination, Lorelai pulled the door open and stepped into the quiet house. She could see Luke and April through the sliding glass door, but as she walked through the living room, she stopped to examine the pictures hanging on the wall.
April had been a beautiful baby; Luke hadn't been lying about her pictures. Lorelai smiled softly at a picture of Anna and April on what was presumably April's second birthday. Anna was crouching beside her daughter, a wide smile stretched across her face, and Lorelai knew that she and Rory had a very similar one at home.
Lorelai frowned when she saw another picture, of Anna and April standing outside Anna's store in Connecticut. In this picture, Lorelai was drawn to Anna's features as she smiled for the camera. For the first time, she was noticing how strikingly similar they looked. The shiny black hair, the blue eyes, even the way Anna was holding April close to her, were all similar to Lorelai's own features and mannerisms. She wasn't sure why, but it unnerved her.
"Can I get you anything?"
Lorelai was pulled from her thoughts when she heard Anna's voice from behind her. "Oh, no thanks," she said automatically, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked down at the floor.
"April's so happy you're here," Anna offered.
Lorelai smiled as she glanced over her shoulder to where April was showing Luke some sort of plant contraption. "Luke's glad to be here," she said. "He's been looking forward to seeing where she's lived all this time."
Anna nodded, but her gaze shifted back to Lorelai. "He seems really happy," she commented.
"I think he is."
"That's good, he deserves that." Anna sighed deeply and said, "Our situation doesn't have to be weird."
Lorelai took her olive branch and lowered her arms. "I don't want it to be," she admitted. "I mean, we're all here for April, we're never not going to be involved with each other."
"You're right," Anna said. "I um…I wanted to thank you. For everything you did to help April get into Chilton. She never would have been able to do that without your input."
"That was all Rory," Lorelai said. "Trust me, I wasn't exactly a private school success story."
"Well, regardless, the only reason I'm so comfortable letting April be so far away is I know you and Luke will take good care of her," Anna said. "I know I said and did horrible things, but I hope we can put that behind us. Because you're right, we're all going to be here for April forever. We might as well be…friendly about it."
Lorelai nodded slowly. "I think that's a strong possibility," she said. "April's amazing, Anna, you've done a wonderful job with her."
"Thanks," Anna said, her gaze softening as she looked through the glass door at her daughter. "She's the best thing I've ever done."
An image of Rory walking across the stadium to receive her Yale diploma flashed through Lorelai's mind, and she nodded. "I get it," she said.
The door slid open and Luke followed April inside, his eyes apologetic as they met Lorelai's. "Everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said, hoping he could tell she wasn't pretending. "Just swapping motherly war stories."
Surprise registered across his face for a moment, but then he nodded, examining her face closely for any signs of distress. Finding none, he offered her a grateful smile.
"We're going for tacos tonight," April announced. "There's a great place downtown, near your hotel."
"Sounds perfect," Lorelai said, then turned to Luke with a smirk. "We'll see if it gets your dad's seal of approval."
"I'm not that bad."
"You once made us leave a restaurant because they didn't bake their tortillas on the premise," Loreali argued.
"You can't use the prepackaged ones!"
"Well, not everyone has the Luke Danes gift of tortilla baking," Lorelai replied.
"And not everyone will eat anything that's placed in front of them."
She gasped. "Excuse me, I have my limits!" she exclaimed.
"Right, I forgot fruits and vegetables are never an option," he rolled his eyes.
"Completely useless foods that taste disgusting and fill up valuable stomach space," Lorelai replied, her eyes beginning to sparkle.
"They also keep you healthy…"
As Luke and Lorelai continued to banter back and forth, April rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch, cracking open a book and ignoring her father and stepmother. Anna watched the couple closely before she sat down next to her daughter. "Is this normal?" she asked.
April glanced up from her book, noting the way Lorelai's eyes were dancing and the way her father's face was one of annoyance, though a was smile trying to fight its way across his face.
"Then you shouldn't have given me a turkey burger!" Lorelai was saying.
"All the decaf, Lorelai!" he insisted. "It was a new shipment!"
April turned to her mother and nodded. "Seems about right," she said.
Anna nodded and watched the couple before her closely. It was clear that through all their bantering, they were both very much infatuated with each other. After a moment, she cleared her throat. "I can get us some lemonade if you're thirsty," she said. "We've got an hour or so before our dinner reservation."
Luke and Lorelai both seemed to snap back to reality, and April smirked at their faces. Lorelai looked somewhat guilty, and her father's face turned red the way it always did when he was embarrassed.
"That sounds great, Anna, thanks," he murmured.
When she disappeared into the kitchen, April turned to look at them. "You really should let that coffee thing go, Dad," she said. "It was pretty dumb to think Lorelai wouldn't taste the difference in a turkey burger."
Lorelai shot Luke a triumphant smile. "We all know Rory's on my side on this too," she said. "You're outnumbered, hon."
He rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch, grumbling under his breath and causing both April and Lorelai to giggle. "Don't worry, I'll forgive you if you forgive me," she said, sitting down beside him.
His eyes softened as he looked at her. "Deal," he said, reaching out to rest his hand on her knee.
"Here we go," Anna said, coming back into the room with a tray of glasses in her hand. She set it on the table and took a seat beside April, eyeing Luke's hand as she did so.
Lorelai caught Anna's gaze and almost felt sad for her. She could remember how hard it had been to see Christopher with Sherry all those years ago, and that relationship had been nowhere near as strong as her current marriage to Luke. This must have been incredibly difficult for Anna.
Shifting to switch her legs into a crossed position and effectively shoving his hand off her leg, Lorelai offered Luke a quick smile as she asked April, "So what are the chances of finding time to shop this weekend?"
XXXXX
Lorelai looked up from the hotel's welcome book when Luke slid into bed beside her later that night. "You actually read those things?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's like being a secret shopper," she confided. "Sometimes I can get tips for the Dragonfly. Or, more frequently, I realize what we shouldn't do."
"Got it," Luke nodded. He watched her for a moment before he commented, "Things weren't too bad today, were they?"
"No," Lorelai conceded, closing the book and putting it on the bedside table before she turned to look at him. "Anna was almost…nice."
Luke nodded as he ran a hand over her thigh. "I'm sorry I broke my promise," he disclosed. "I didn't realize she'd cornered you."
"She didn't corner me," Lorelai replied. "We actually had what bordered on a civil conversation."
Luke nodded slowly. "So why were you pretending all afternoon?" he asked. At her shocked expression, he reached out to push her hair over her shoulder. "Give me a little credit, Lorelai. I've always known when you were pretending. I've just stopped letting you get away with it."
"I know," she sighed. She looked at a spot on the wall beyond him for a moment before she said, "We're a lot alike."
"Who?" he asked.
"Me and Anna."
He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head. "No, you're not," he objected.
"Luke, you can admit it, I'm not going to get mad," she said. "The hair, the eyes. She's me. Or I'm her, I guess, since she knew you first."
"Well, first, you're way more attractive than she is."
Lorelai smiled. "Quick acknowledgement of my beauty noted," she confirmed with a nod.
"And maybe you look…similar, but the comparison ends there," he murmured. "She was…I don't know, she was someone to keep me company at a time when I had no one. I met her about a year after my dad died, and I was still pretty much a mess. Rachel had left right after his funeral, and Liz had disappeared again. I'd lost everyone important to me in the world, and Anna was…there."
Lorelai frowned. She hated to think of Luke so scared and alone. It was strange that he went through all that pain just a few miles down the road from her, while she'd been changing sheets at the Independence Inn.
"Her dad had died recently too, so…I don't know, I guess we were just there to give each other some sort of comfort," Luke continued. With a sad sigh, he admitted, "April was the result of two lonely people, trying to find a way to feel again. We broke up pretty much right after the diner opened. It was amicable, we both just realized that we'd never loved each other. You know the rest."
"I'm sorry," Lorelai whispered. "I hate thinking about you being so alone."
He shrugged and offered her a side smile. "It was only a year or so later that an annoying woman breezed into my life," he said teasingly.
Lorelai smiled slightly, but admitted, "I guess that's what scares me. Anna and I look alike, what if the only reason you noticed me was because I reminded you of her?"
Luke was quiet for a moment before he shook his head. "No, that wasn't it," he said. "Anna was…a step in the healing process of losing my dad. She was there and it was fine, we had some good times, but I'd never have woken up in the middle of the night to fix her hot water heater or made her disgusting food to cheer her up. Just like she never teased me and made me feel special at the same time, or encouraged me to shake up my routine and do something spontaneous."
A blush crept across Lorelai's cheeks. "You mean like the time we did dirty, dirty things in the lake during the 4th of July Fireworks?" she asked.
He laughed slightly, rubbing her leg through the blankets. "Exactly," he said. "I never loved her. Not the way I should have. I don't regret her because of April, but it wasn't ever going to work."
Lorelai nodded slowly. "I get that," she said softly. "I wish I'd accepted it sooner."
"It's okay to feel conflicted about him," Luke said gently. "You know how I feel about the guy, but when it comes down to it, he helped bring Rory into the world. He was your first love."
"He was," Lorelai murmured, wondering how far she could push this conversation. "But I was fifteen, Luke. I mistook love for…similar disdain for our parents' lifestyle. And then Rory came along and I guess I felt like I had to love him, for her sake." She glanced at Luke, and when she saw that he was listening without a hint of anger or hurt, she continued. "He didn't even hold her when she was born. I mean, I'd turned down his proposal because I knew it wouldn't work out, but I still remember being shocked when he refused to hold Rory. He came to see us in the hospital, watched her through the nursery window for five minutes, and then he left. He took the SATs and went to prom and graduated, then spent years traveling the world. He kept trying to pull himself together, but he never quite could do it." She shook her head slightly and said, "God, I should have listened to my sixteen year old self in when I was in Paris. She may have gotten knocked up, but she was at least realistic about that relationship."
"I'm still amazed at how brave you were, to run away without a plan," Luke whispered.
Realizing she'd never told anyone, not even Rory, the catalyst of why she'd run away, Lorelai cleared her throat before she spoke again. "It was March," she whispered. "Rory was starting to crawl, and she had been laughing for a few months. She was so perfect, and I just wanted to spend all my time with her, watching her, playing with her, reading to her. But my parents would have none of that. My mom had been trying to control everything. The only real control I had was feeding Rory. Those moments, just the two of us, were so perfect. No one could take that away from us, because I was the only person who could do it. I refused to stop breast feeding, I didn't want to give up those precious moments alone with her. Anyway, this one afternoon, in March, my dad was at work and my mom was out at some lunch thing, and it started to snow. I'd always loved snow, even back then, so I bundled Rory up on the snowsuit I'd sewn for her. She was perfectly warm, she had a hat and mittens, and even tiny baby boots on. I brought her outside to the backyard, and we sat in the garden, just watching the snow and I showed her how to catch snowflakes. She was so happy, I can still hear her giggling in that moment. It was probably going to be the last snow of the season, and I wanted to enjoy it. But then my mom came home early and saw us outside. She kept telling me how irresponsible it was, and how Rory was going to get sick and I had no idea what it took to be a mother. I probably had some words of my own, but it was the last straw. For months I'd been hearing these ridiculous comments. 'Lorelai, you're not dressing her properly,' 'Lorelai, if you kiss her she's going to get sick,' 'Lorelai, you need to bring Rory to see Christopher because he's too busy to come here.' Finally I'd had enough. I waited until they were getting ready for some sort of party the next night, put Rory in her stroller, and got on a bus as far as it would take me. I got off in town square, in front of your dad's store, I guess, and went to Fran's. She brought me to Mia."
He shook his head slightly, a look of wonder on his face. "Every day," he breathed. "I still marvel at how brave you were for doing that. Not even seventeen and on your own in the world with a baby."
"I had to do it," Lorelai insisted. "God, if Rory had been brought up in that world, it would have been so horrible. She wouldn't be…Rory."
"I'm glad you did it," Luke said softly. He paused, then said, "I bet I was in the store when you got off the bus."
Lorelai smiled softly. "I never thought about that," she admitted. "Good thing I didn't sweep into the hardware store in a caffeine frenzy, huh? You would have seen the teenager with the baby and headed for the hills."
"I don't think so," Luke said. "I'm sure Rory had the Rory look down even that young."
Lorelai giggled, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "That she did."
Luke leaned forward to kiss her. "You're you, Lorelai," he said. "You know I love you."
"I do," she admitted. "It's just been weird being here, seeing Anna again. But I think we're past everything that happened. She seems…calmer."
"She does," Luke agreed. "It's been nice, seeing where April's spent so much time."
"Yeah, it has been," Lorelai agreed.
"I'm really proud of her," Luke confessed.
"I know you are," she said. "I am too. She's a special kid."
"I can't wait to have her with us," Luke said. "I know it will change our life a bit, but I've always been…her secondary parent, you know? I'm excited to have her around all the time, to not have to have one of us spend an entire day flying just to see each other."
Lorelai smiled. "It will be nice," she agreed. "I don't think I ever realized how spoiled I was, with Rory. I had her all to myself for eighteen years and I took it for granted. We had so many wonderful years together. I wish you'd had a chance to have that with April."
"Me too," Luke sighed. "But…" his voice trailed off and he shook his head.
Lorelai tilted her head to the side as she regarded him curiously. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing," Luke replied. They'd limited their discussions of their efforts to have a baby over the past month, and he wasn't sure whether he should bring it up or not. Lorelai's pregnancy test the previous week had been negative, but not for a lack of trying.
"Luke," she sighed, reaching to stroke a hand over his cheek. "It's me."
He sighed and hooked a finger through one of the button holes on the flannel she was wearing. "But…I'll have that with our kid," he said.
Hope and fear both washed over Lorelai's face, and she leaned over to kiss him. "You will," she promised.
He kissed her one more time before he turned the light out and they both settled into the pillows. "Am I a horrible father if I dread how boring the parts without April are going to be tomorrow?" Luke asked her into the darkness.
Lorelai giggled as she settled onto her side. "Get used to it, Chilton Dad," she said. "You're going to have to go to all kinds of boring stuff at that place. I once had to listen to Paris give an hour and a half speech about corrupt politics in America so I could see Rory get sworn in as class vice president. Even my mom was bored."
"Damn our kids for being so smart."
"Go to sleep, Cool Hand, tomorrow we can celebrate April."
XXXXX
Anna Nardini was glad for a chance to celebrate. For nearly two years, she'd been taking care of her sick mother and slowly accepting the fact that her daughter was growing up, no longer needing her in the way she had in the past.
Today, in a convention center conference room in downtown Albuquerque, Anna could feel her heart swelling with pride as she watched her daughter stand before her science display, speaking with ease to a set of scholarly adults with ease and confidence. April had always been interested in science, but it was becoming more and more apparent every day that this was her daughter's future, not just a hobby.
It killed her that April would have to return to Connecticut without her to pursue that dream.
With a small smile, Anna turned towards the corner of the room where the refreshments were set up. She still had a little time before the presentations started, and she'd sat through enough of these events to know that it would be helpful to have some coffee and a bottle of water on hand to get through the endless slew of speeches. Although she always loved watching April's involvement, it was sometimes painful to sit through other kids talking about the human genome and the cross pollination of herbal plants.
She stopped a few yards away from the coffee station when she saw Luke step up to the dispenser, glancing over his shoulder as he filled a paper cup. A moment later, he walked to where Lorelai was placing a donut on her plate. Anna took a moment to take in how perfect Lorelai Gilmore looked, as always. Her smooth curls, black and white patterned dress, and tall black boots made her look like some sort of perfect movie star. Anna glanced down at her own red sweater and black skirt, suddenly feeling incredibly frumpy.
Lorelai was frowning as she sipped the coffee Luke had handed her, then looked around him to the two identical, stainless steel coffee dispensers. Although Anna couldn't hear what they were saying, she could see Lorelai gasp and point accusingly towards the coffee. Luke, in turn, gestured to the coffee cup in her hand and then reached for Lorelai's free hand. She seemed to give in as he spoke, and a small smile stretched across her lips at whatever he was saying to her.
After a moment, Lorelai sighed and took the cup, her nose wrinkling as she sipped at it. Luke leaned closer and brushed her hair off her shoulder, offering her an affectionate smile as he did so. Anna was slightly amazed at the sight. Luke had never been one to show affection in public, at least not with her. It was obvious he'd changed a lot over the past sixteen years.
Anna took a deep breath when Lorelai's eyes landed on her and offered her a small wave. Luke's gaze followed hers, and he smiled politely in her direction as well. Anna started to walk towards them, and smiled slightly when she stood in front of them. "Morning," she said.
"Hi, Anna," Lorelai replied. "Where's April?"
"Already charming the judges," Anna said, pointing to where April was standing in front of the stage.
"Wow, she really doesn't mess around," Lorelai commented.
Luke's eyes had softened as they landed on April from across the room. "She didn't get that from me," he commented.
"Me either," Anna laughed.
"Must have skipped a generation," Luke shrugged. "She reminds me of my mom."
Anna tilted her head to the side as she regarded his comment. She'd never met either of Luke's parents, and she'd never heard him talk about his mother before. It was strange to think of such a strong part of April's heritage being completely unknown to her.
"So should we find seats?" Lorelai asked. "If my experience as a Chilton mom taught me anything, it's that seating is critical at these things. You want to be on an aisle, but not too close in case they ask for audience participation."
Luke gestured to the rows of folding chairs set up. The three of them settled into seats in the fifth row, Anna on the aisle with Luke between the two of them.
"I should be taking notes," Lorelai commented as she flipped through the program.
"Why do you need to take notes?" Luke asked.
"So that when April starts at Chilton I'll be able to know what the hell is going on," Lorelai commented. "Give me your pen."
Luke shot her a look. "Have you really not learned that I don't carry a pen?" he asked.
"Have you really not started carrying a pen after the amount of times we've had this argument?" she replied. She shoved her coffee into his hands and requested, "Hold this."
As she dug through her purse, Luke commented, "With all the crap you have in there, you don't have a pen?" he asked.
"Who knows," Lorelai shrugged, her hand buried in the depths of her purse and coming up with nothing. With a frustrated sigh, she took her coffee back and said, "I'll see if I can track one down. Can I get either of you anything?"
Anna shook her head, slightly overwhelmed by the speed at which Lorelai functioned. "No, I'm good, Lorelai, thanks," she said.
"Okay," Lorelai nodded before she turned to Luke. "Cool Hand?"
"I'm okay," he nodded.
"I'll be back," Lorelai announced, sliding past them before she disappeared into the crowd in search of a pen.
Luke offered Anna a nervous smile, and she noticed the immediate awkwardness that had fallen upon the two of them. How strange it was that Lorelai's absence made things more awkward between her and the father of her daughter.
"You're happy," she finally observed, looking at him closely.
Luke glanced up at her from where he'd been flipping through the program. "Yeah," he admitted with a nod. "I am."
"I've never given you enough credit," Anna observed softly. "When we were together, when I got pregnant, or when April found you. I never thought you'd be this guy, happily married and willingly sitting through a science awards ceremony for his kid."
"It's for April," Luke pointed out dismissively.
"It's not just her that's changed you," Anna observed. "I mean, you're a great father, Luke, I can't argue that. But it's Lorelai. She's made you better, more rounded. And she's been nothing but kind and welcoming to April, which is all I should ever have wanted."
Luke smiled slightly. "She loves April," he remarked.
"She understands you," Anna continued, looking down at her hands. "She makes you happy. I never could have been that person for you."
Luke sighed. "Look, Anna, it's not that I knew it at the time…"
"It's okay," she said. "I know you were hurting back then."
"I was," he admitted, looking towards April. "So were you. But we did do something pretty great together, didn't we?"
Anna turned to look at April, a smile coming over her features. "Take care of her, okay?" she requested gently. "I'm going to miss her."
Luke nodded slowly. "I can imagine," he admitted. He'd missed April terribly when she was away, but he knew it was different for Anna. She'd never been separated from their daughter for more than a couple weeks. "I promise we'll take good care of her."
"I know," Anna confirmed. She shook her head slightly as she continued to look at April. "I'm amazed by her sometimes."
"Me too," Luke admitted. "It's hard to believe she's going to be in high school."
"You're telling me," Anna sighed. "Just yesterday she was starting kindergarten."
Anna snuck a glance at Luke as he watched April explain her presentation. His face was one of complete pride, and Anna knew, as much as she was going to miss April, it would be okay. Luke wouldn't let anything happen to her.
XXXXX
Lorelai turned over in bed late that night, automatically reaching for Luke in her half asleep state. When her hand met nothing but cool sheets, Lorelai sat up and turned to look at the clock. The unfamiliar red numbers glowed 2:14, and it took her a moment to realize that she was not at home in their bedroom, but in a hotel in New Mexico. With a frown, Lorelai glanced towards the bathroom door as it clicked open.
"You okay?" she squinted at Luke through the harsh light streaming in from the bathroom.
"Yeah, sorry," he said with a sigh. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't," she said. She tilted her head to the side as he slid into bed beside her. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah."
"Luke," she sighed, reaching for the bedside light. "It works both ways, you know. I can tell when you're upset."
"I'm fine."
"Luke."
He sighed and turned from his side to his back, looking up at her. "I don't want to worry you," he admitted.
"Hi, I'm already worried, so you might as well just tell me," Lorelai said. "Otherwise I'll just talk so you can't fall asleep. Have you realized how ridiculously small the shampoo bottles are in this hotel? I need six of them just to get my hair clean, otherwise with the humidity in this state, people will think you're walking around with Diana Ross, which would be really bad for me, because you'd get addicted to all the fame and fortune, and then when my hair goes back to normal you'll be so accustomed…"
"Okay," Luke interrupted her. "I give."
Lorelai stopped talking and looked at him expectantly.
"I had a dream," Luke admitted.
"What kind of dream?" Lorelai asked.
He sighed as he waved a hand absently through the air. "I guess it could be qualified as a bad one," he admitted.
"How bad?" Lorelai asked.
After a long pause, Luke murmured. "Similar to the ones you've had," he murmured. "Cars being wrapped around poles, ambulance lights, that kind of thing."
"Oh, Luke," Lorelai sighed. He'd spent months comforting her after similar dreams, and she reached out to pull him into her arms, wanting to offer him the same kind of consolation. "We're quite a pair, huh? As soon as they stop for me, they start for you."
"It was just one," he murmured into her shoulder. He was quiet as he traced a finger over her collarbone. "I was with my mom, in the car."
"What?" Lorelai asked.
"In the backseat," Luke confirmed. "I was twelve, she was bringing me back from hockey practice. I can still see the ambulance lights and feel how mad I was that they didn't get there five minutes earlier."
Tears filled Lorelai's eyes. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"This dream, it was weird," Luke murmured. "I was there, watching the paramedics try to get her free. It was like a memory, but then I blinked and it wasn't her anymore. It was you."
Lorelai pressed a kiss to the top of his head before she smoothed a hand over his back. "It's okay," she whispered.
"I'll be okay," Luke promised.
"I know how upsetting it is," Lorelai whispered. "I hate that you have to feel that way."
He pulled her closer, wrapping his arm tighter around her stomach. "Don't let go?" he requested.
"You got it," she promised. She reached to turn the light out and then ran a hand up and down his arm. "I love you."
She could feel Luke's lips against her neck in a warm kiss. "I love you too."
"Can I do anything?" she asked softly.
"You're doing it," Luke assured her.
XXXXX
The following morning, Lorelai was waiting in the lobby when April and Anna arrived for breakfast. She offered them a smile and a wave, returning the hug April gave her as soon as she was close enough.
"How's my favorite scientist doing this morning?" Lorelai asked with a warm smile. "That shiny medal they gave you blinded you yet?"
"Not yet, I make sure to wear sunglasses when I look directly at it," April replied.
"Good girl," Lorelai laughed. "Hi, Anna."
"Morning," Anna replied politely.
"Where's Dad?" April asked, looking around the lobby.
Lorelai tried to keep the worry off her face with a bright smile. "Oh, you know him, he can't be seen in public until he's properly groomed," she dismissed. "He'll be down in a minute."
April looked at her suspiciously, then nodded. "Okay," she said.
"We had breakfast here yesterday, it was pretty good," Lorelai admitted as she led Anna and April to the dining room. "Not as good as my favorite diner, but beggars can't be choosers. Be sure to swipe some biscuits for the road."
Ten minutes later, when coffee was poured and breakfast had been ordered, Lorelai asked, "What's the plan for today?"
"I was thinking of showing you some of the sights downtown," April said. "The natural history museum is really cool, and there are some Navajo excavation sites that are quite interesting."
Lorelai tried to plaster a smile on her face. "Sounds great," she said.
Anna waited until April was distracted by reading the nutrition facts on the back of the menu before she leaned towards Lorelai. "Don't worry, both places have great shopping nearby," she reassured.
"Oh, thank god," Lorelai relaxed. "It wouldn't be a vacation without spending some of Luke's money."
"Just what I wanted to hear," his voice came from behind her, and Lorelai glanced up as his hand gently grazed her shoulder. "Morning, kid."
"Hi, Dad!" April chirped.
"Morning, Anna," Luke nodded and she smiled back in return.
"I ordered you the most boring thing on the menu," Lorelai commented. "Tea with an egg white omelet and wheat toast."
"Thanks," Luke said.
"I asked if they could make it more plain, but they said that was physically impossible," Lorelai added.
He looked at her. "Let me guess, pancakes with a side of eggs, bacon, and hash browns?"
"And plenty of coffee," Lorelai agreed, holding her cup up for proof.
He rolled his eyes, but before he could open his mouth she answered his unasked question.
"Half decaf."
"Thanks," Luke offered her a smile before he turned to April. "So what's the plan for today?"
As April launched into her plan for the day, Lorelai watched her husband closely. He'd been emotional that morning, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and watching carefully as she'd blow dried her hair and applied her make up. Although his careful gaze would have normally made her feel self conscious, his dream the night before made her waive the annoyance she would normally have felt. Luke had gone above and beyond comforting her in the aftermath of her dreams; the least she could do was let him hang out with her while she got ready for the day.
He'd been so absorbed with taking her in that by the appointed time for breakfast with April and Anna, he hadn't even showered yet. Lorelai had promised to order breakfast for him and buy him some time with his daughter and her mother while he prepared himself for the day.
Now, as Lorelai watched Luke with April, she saw no signs of the fear he'd displayed with her the night before. He'd pulled a mask on for the sake of his daughter, and she understood that. She just hoped that he really would be okay eventually. She'd finally worked through her own demons, but Luke's were starting to creep back to the surface. At this rate, she figured Abby would have a pretty nice college fund for her kids just from the two of them.
"Do you two want some time alone today?" Lorelai heard herself ask. "I can make myself scarce if need be."
Anna voiced a similar statement, but Luke had turned to Lorelai with an expression she'd never seen on his face before. Confusion, combined with hurt, and what she thought could be fear filtered through her eyes, and she could tell that no matter how normal he was acting, his dream was still very much affecting him.
"No, come with us!" April insisted. "Please, Lorelai, there's so much I want to show you! You'd love the fashion exhibit at the art gallery."
Lorelai looked at her stepdaughter and wondered if this what Luke felt like when Rory gave him what he'd dubbed the "Rory face." She turned her gaze to Luke, and was struck by how similar his eyes were to April's. It was the first time she'd noticed it.
"Of course I'll come," she said. "But if you decide you want some exclusive time with your dad, I get that too."
"I want to show you stuff too!" April insisted. "Dad totally won't care about the anthropological dig for ancient pottery."
Lorelai caught the smirk that crossed Luke's face. He knew that she cared about ancient pottery just as much as he did, but he also knew she'd go through the exhibit with April. Just like he'd let Rory drag him through the rare manuscript book collection at the Mark Twain house when she was fourteen.
"Sounds fascinating," Lorelai managed to muster up some enthusiasm. "But I think your dad would enjoy it more than you think. He's a real pottery fan."
This time it was Lorelai who offered her husband a smirk over April's head. Two could totally play this game.
Anna cleared her throat and Lorelai immediately felt guilty. She'd almost forgotten about her presence at the table. "I have to go check in on my mom," she said. "But I'll bring you guys to the museum if you want."
Lorelai wondered if she should force the matter. She could remember how uncomfortable she'd been being forced into attending Sherry's baby shower, but she also didn't want to seem like she was commandeering Anna's daughter.
Luke caught her eye and she nodded slightly. He offered her a flash of a smile before he turned to Anna. "You're welcome to join us," he said.
"Thanks, Luke, but it's okay," Anna replied. "I wasn't there at all yesterday, I have to check in today."
"I get it," Luke nodded, and Lorelai saw gratitude flash in Anna's eyes. She fought a brief feeling of jealousy. Luke and Anna may both have known what it felt like to care for a sick parent, but that didn't diminish anything about her own marriage to Luke. She had to stop being so paranoid.
Their plates arrived at that moment, and Lorelai looked up at Luke with a pout. He rolled his eyes, reached across April, and scraped her eggs to the side of her pancakes so they were no longer ogling her.
XXXXX
"I don't want you to go."
Luke sighed as he held April close. Their trip had gone too fast, and he knew April was trying to make their goodbye last as long as possible. "Just a couple months, kid," he promised. "Then you'll be sick of me."
"He's right," Lorelai tried to lighten the mood from beside them. "In six months' time, after he's chased your boyfriend down the street and gotten into a fist fight over the Bop It, you'll just be a regular teenage girl, embarrassed by her overprotective dad."
April giggled slightly from her place against Luke's chest. "It's a good thing you went through this with Rory first, now I know what to expect," she said.
"There will be no dating," Luke grumbled.
Lorelai met April's gaze and held her thumb and pointer finger together, promising that she'd convince him to allow a little dating.
"I'm going to miss you," April stated, finally pulling away from Luke.
"Me too, kid," Luke stressed. "But spend some time with your mom, okay? She's got a lot going on with your grandmother, and she's going to miss you when you leave."
"I know," April sighed. "Are you sure you don't want us to pick you up in the morning?"
"No, we've got an early flight," Luke replied. "You don't have to wake up for that."
"Sure, she doesn't have to wake up, but you're willing to book a 5 AM flight without even consulting me," Lorelai sighed. She reached out to give April a hug of her own. "It will be so nice to have another girl in the house. Luke's girl talk has a severe handicap."
Luke rolled his eyes, but turned to April. "Are you sure you're okay on the bus?" he asked.
"I'm fine, Dad, I take the bus all the time," April confirmed.
"Okay," Luke acknowledged. "Call me when you get home?"
"Yes, Dad," April said with a roll of her eyes.
"I'll walk you down," Luke said.
Lorelai offered April one more hug. "I'm so proud of you, April," she said. "I'm glad I got to see you up there yesterday, giving your presentation and showing the world how brilliant you are."
April blushed as she looked down at the ground. "Thanks, Lorelai," she said. "I'm glad you came."
"Me too, sweetie," Lorelai said honestly. "We'll see you in August."
April nodded, then hugged her again. "Happy birthday week," she said.
Lorelai laughed as she hugged her back. "Thank you," she said. "It seems as though you've been talking to your sister."
"I don't know what you're talking about," April said with a knowing smile as she walked towards the door with Luke. "Bye!"
Lorelai called her own goodbye before she turned to her suitcase. She pulled her sleep flannel out of the suitcase and changed quickly, tossing her clothes into her bag in a rumpled pile. Just as she was starting to button the shirt, Luke walked back into the room, his eyebrows raising in appreciation when he saw how little she was wearing. "Don't bother buttoning that," he said, walking towards her slowly.
She gasped and pulled the shirt closed over her body in pretend modesty. "You should get out of here before my husband gets back," she said to him. "He's very protective of my honor, you know."
Luke backed her towards the bed, a dark fire smoldering in his eyes. "And damn lucky," he replied.
"Luke," she gasped at the intense blue of his eyes. They were no strangers to passionate sex, and most nights they ended up in a tangled mess of limbs before they succumbed to sleep. But the expression on Luke's face went beyond desire and arousal. It was bordering on need and desperation, and she'd only seen this look on his face a handful of times.
He leaned down to kiss her then, one hand tangling with her hair while the other went to trace her right thigh. Lorelai gasped as he gripped her hair tightly, and she knew that he was trying to lose himself, to prove that she was here with him and that his dream the night before had simply been a dream.
"Luke," she breathed again, trying to make sure he was okay. "Are you…oh god…"
He'd taken her earlobe into his mouth and was grazing his teeth over the soft skin. After a moment he pulled back and met her gaze, the intensity of his gaze causing her heart to speed up in anticipation. "Are we okay?" he asked.
"We're perfect," she confirmed.
"I want you."
She reached for his hips and held them steady as she rotated her own hips against him, feeling his arousal pressing against her. "I can tell."
He ran his knuckles over her cheek. "I want you badly."
Knowing he didn't want to be gentle, Lorelai met his gaze evenly. "Then take me," she permitted.
With that, Luke pushed her back onto the bed and quickly began shedding his own clothes. "Get yourself ready for me," he commanded.
"Get over here and do it yourself," Lorelai replied bossily.
She could see Luke's body tighten in reaction to her words, and she quickly slipped off the flannel she was wearing as he undid his belt. Years ago, when they'd first started sleeping together, Lorelai had been amazed at how well Luke had been able to please her. He'd known exactly where to touch her, exactly when to kiss her, and exactly what to do to make her forget everything but him. He'd kissed her and held her and made her feel like the most important girl in the world.
She still remembered the first night they'd brought it to a more passionate, less romantic level. Luke had been reluctant at first, not wanting to seem too domineering or aggressive with her. But when she'd promised she'd tell him if it got too far, Luke had quickly realized that there was nothing wrong with occasionally getting a little rough.
Now, propped up on her elbows as she watched Luke kick his pants and boxers to the side, Lorelai could feel her body throbbing with anticipation. She bit her lower lip as she looked at him for a moment, then rolled onto her stomach. She rose to her knees and braced herself against the headboard, looking Luke over her shoulder. "Please, Luke?" she asked.
Without a word, he knelt behind her on the bed and grabbed her hips, shoving himself all the way into her with a single, quick thrust and a deep moan of satisfaction at the feeling of her wetness surrounding him.
Letting out a soft cry of pleasure as her muscles contracted around him, Lorelai hung her head and bit her lip, feeling Luke pull out of her completely before he slammed into her again. He began to thrust into her deeply, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she took in the pleasure spreading through her body.
"Faster," she pleaded as Luke rocked into her. "Please Luke!" His name left her lips in a moan as he obliged, pushing into her at a fast and steady pace. After several long strokes, he pulled out completely and she let out a frustrated hiss. "Luke, please!" she gasped.
Without a word, Luke tugged on her shoulder and turned her onto her back, his eyes searching hers. Lorelai looked up at him, breathless and needy, and pushed her sweat soaked hair out of her face. "I'm so close," she gasped. "Luke…"
He groaned as he pressed a kiss to her chin.
"Luke," she gasped quietly, her hand moving to the small of his back.
"Yes," he murmured, trailing his tongue along the side of her neck.
"You feel so good."
"That's the point," he whispered, his lips moving against her collar bone.
"Oh god," she sighed towards the ceiling.
"You're so gorgeous."
"Luke…"
"So beautiful," he murmured, his mouth moving towards her breasts.
"Luke…" she gasped as he took her into his mouth. She writhed beneath him as his hardness brushed against her thigh.
"God, Lorelai, what you do to me…" he whispered, his mouth moving to her other breast.
"Oh god," she moaned, her back starting to arch.
"Lorelai," he gasped, his hips rocking against hers as he kissed his way back up to her face.
"Please," Lorelai gasped. "Luke…"
He shifted her towards him and pushed inside of her, feeling her body begin to tighten as he rotated his hips slightly against hers. "That's it," he urged her. "You're so close."
"Tell me," Lorelai gasped, her arm wrapping around his neck. "Tell me how I feel."
"You're so perfect," Luke breathed, his hands moving over her sides. "So tight and so wet."
Lorelai shifted beneath him, letting out a gasp as he pushed even deeper into her. "Tell me how you want me," she demanded.
Luke's eyes darkened even further. "I want to hear you," he breathed, his voice hot in her hear. "I can feel you, you feel so damn perfect. I want to hear you scream my name as you come undone."
"Yes…Luke…don't stop," Lorelai was practically begging now, and Luke pulled her hips closer to him.
"Let go," he breathed, pulling out and then rocking back into her immediately. "Let go, baby."
"Luke!" she cried as he pounded into her, wave after wave of pleasure washing over her as he moved above her. "Oh god, Luke, yes!"
He slowed as she became undone, panting and writhing beneath him, but after a moment Lorelai's eyes opened and she saw the desire written across his features. His eyes were smoldering, his jaw was set, and he was leaning over her with both desire and concern written across his features. She reached her hands above her head and he held them together with one of his own.
"I'm yours," she promised. "Do whatever you want to me, Luke, make me forget everything but how hard and huge you feel inside of me."
It was all he needed to start rocking against her again. He kept her hands restrained above her head as he picked up his pace, taking in her cries of pleasure with every thrust.
"Luke," she pulled against his strong grip. "I want to touch you."
He immediately let her wrists go, but started pushing into her even faster, fueled by the way her hands ran over his shoulders. She was approaching the edge again, Luke could tell, and he reached down to run his hand over her thigh, bringing her leg around his waist and allowing him to hit her most sensitive point.
"Oh my god!" Lorelai's scream brought a wave of primordial pride over Luke, and he felt her reach above her head to grip the railings of the headboard, her hips rocking against his as she arched her back in pleasure. "Oh god, Luke…Yes!"
She came in a long wave, tightening around him as her head thrashed from side to side on the pillow. Her moans and gasps of pleasure were enough to bring him over the edge as well, and after two more powerful thrusts he allowed himself to fall, his own moans of appreciation mixing in with hers.
"Oh my god," Lorelai gasped, still shaking as he rolled off of her a few moments later. They lay side by side, staring up at the ceiling, both of them panting hard. "Wow."
"I'll second that," Luke murmured.
"I just…" Lorelai shook her head. "Wow."
He turned to look at her. "Are you…"
"Don't even think about asking me if I'm okay," Lorelai said. "That was hot. Rough and intense, yeah, but amazing."
"Just making sure," he murmured.
She turned on her side to look at him. "You know I don't have a problem with getting intense sometimes," she said gently. "I like when you take charge. I like when it gets…primordial."
"I know," Luke said. "But I don't really know what came over me just then."
"Well, whatever it was, it was damn amazing," Lorelai replied. "I'm so glad we're not a boring old married couple."
He smiled as he trailed his fingers over her stomach. "God no, it just keeps getting better," he replied. He was quiet for a moment before he said, "that dream scared the hell out of me."
Lorelai sighed and scooted closer. "I know," she whispered. "Not that I minded, but do you think it has anything to do with that caveman act you just performed there?"
He sighed into her hair. "Maybe," he admitted. "It's just…you know I prefer to show what I'm feeling."
"And show you did," Lorelai confirmed. "You were clingy today."
He blushed and pulled away from her. "Sorry," he said. His dream had terrified him, and he'd found himself not wanting to be separated from Lorelai by more than a few feet all day. He felt like an idiotic teenager, afraid that if he let the girl he liked out of his sight she'd disappear.
"Hey, I'm not complaining," Lorelai said, tugging him back towards her. "I'm just worried. I've never seen you like that."
He shrugged as he met her gaze again. "When you had those dreams, you needed me to say that I'm still here," he said. "I guess I just needed to…physically prove to myself that you're here. That's why I wanted to hold your hand all day and…"
"Make me scream your name until I forgot everything but complete pleasure," Lorelai supplied.
Luke couldn't help the self satisfied smirk that came over his face at her words. "Sometimes I still can't believe that I get to do that with you," he admitted.
She smiled as she pushed him onto his back and straddled his stomach. She leaned down to kiss him, then pulled back, her hands roaming his chest. "Who's better in bed?" she asked. "Me or Pedestal Lorelai?" He'd admitted to having dreams about her before they'd ever become involved romantically, to which she'd disclosed that not all of her dreams about him had been everyday morning routines; she'd had a very realistic dream once about how those twins had gotten into her stomach.
He laughed as he ran her hands up and down her thighs. "Definitely you, no question," he said.
"Is there anything she's done that I haven't?" Lorelai asked. At his blush she pointed a finger down at him. "There totally is! What is it?"
"It's no big deal."
"Come on, Luke, everyone has fantasies," Lorelai said. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty adventurous."
He tried to shove her off of him, but she tightened her legs around him, and he sighed in defeat. "It's seriously not a big deal," he said.
"I might do it," Lorelai said. "I'll even tell you my fantasy."
He frowned. "What fantasy?" he asked.
"Ha!" Lorelai cried. "Don't like not knowing?"
Luke sighed as he stared up at the ceiling for a moment. Not seeing any possible way out of this conversation, he said, "Well, there's this clearing out by the lake," he murmured. "It's pretty secluded, and I used to camp there. I just thought it might be…nice to bring you out there sometime."
"You want to do it in the woods?" Lorelai asked.
"I told you, not a big deal," Luke said. "Now tell me yours."
"Hey, I might do it," Lorelai said. "If we bring your truck out. There's no way I'm laying on the ground."
His eyes glazed over slightly, but he squeezed his hands against her hips. "Tell me," he insisted.
"You'll never do it."
"Tell me."
Lorelai bit her lower lip and looked down at him with a playful look in her eyes. "Consider it added to your five hours," she said.
"Lorelai," he groaned. "Tell me!"
"Nope, got to keep you interested," Lorelai said with a giggle.
"I don't think that's ever going to be a problem."
She grew serious as she looked down at him. She reached for his left hand and took it, stroking her thumb over his wedding ring as she examined it closely. It wasn't the first time she'd admired the only piece of jewelry he'd ever wear, and he hoped it wouldn't be the last. "Do you think all newlyweds as amazed by marriage as we are?" she asked.
"I think we know what could have been," Luke said softly. "We appreciate our marriage more because we know what it's like to not have it."
"So that lost year has a purpose after all," Lorelai sighed. She slid off of him and nudged him gently with her foot. "Get under the covers."
Luke sighed and stood with her to pull the covers back. When they were both settled in the bed, she commented, "You know, if we keep having sex like that we might have to soundproof our bedroom."
He laughed. "You're loud enough in your everyday life," he said. "I was never surprised you like the dirty talk."
"And for a man of few words, you have learned to deliver that dirty talk pretty well," she complimented.
"It helps that I have a sexy wife."
She smiled as she leaned forward to kiss him, then pulled back to look at him. "If the dream happens tonight, wake me up," she said, her gaze turning serious.
"Lorelai…"
"I'm serious, Luke," she said. "You don't have to sneak out of bed to try to calm yourself down. I'm here, I want to help."
"I don't want to worry you."
"I'm your wife," Lorelai whispered. "Please, just let me help. I know you like to be strong, but I don't want to circle back to that particular tree."
Luke nodded, seeing through her attempts to make a joke. Knowing she was right, he ran a hand over her arm. "I will," he said.
"Promise?" she asked.
"Promise," he nodded.
"Good," she sighed. She settled into the pillows, looking at him, and requested, "Tell me a story."
He shot her a look. "What?" he asked.
"I like your voice," Lorelai explained. "I miss talking on the phone at night."
"Yeah, being separated by three states felt great," Luke said sarcastically.
She giggled. "Don't get me wrong, I much prefer having you here with me, but I loved those late night talks," she said. "Being here, in the hotel, reminds me of that summer when we met for the weekend in New Hampshire. Remember?"
"Of course I remember," he admitted with a fond smile. "That weekend was a culmination of many a fantasy."
"It was so romantic," Lorelai whispered, tracing her finger over his chest. "I was very impressed."
Luke laughed, knowing she wasn't referring to the inn where they'd secluded themselves halfway through that lonely summer and consummated their relationship. "Me too."
"You know what I think?" Lorelai asked quietly.
"Hmm?" he murmured.
"I think the plane ride will go much faster tomorrow if we sleep through it," Lorelai commented, propping her head up on her hand as her elbow rested on the pillow near Luke's head. "So I think we owe it to our future selves to stay up all night so we're tired on the plane."
"Excellent idea," Luke replied. He reached for the hand that was tracing over his chest and pressed a kiss to it. "Any ideas how we can pass the time?"
She smiled as she leaned down to kiss him, tracing her hand over his face. "How about we take it slow this time?" she requested when she pulled away.
Luke responded by pulling her on top of him, resting his hands on her hips. "You got it," he promised, and she leaned down to seal the deal with a long kiss.