Well, I'm finally back! Sorry for the wait, but I first went on a camping holiday, and when I returned home, my internet connection was malfunctioning, so I had to wait a week to be reconnected. Anyway, I'm really happy to see that I've got so many likes and follows since I was last here, and the Robotnik war hasn't even properly kicked off yet! So, as promised, this is the chapter where Eggman makes his opening move, and things start taking on the general shape of an avocado...
TIME: 13 August, 3324
PLACE: Guardian Units of the Nation HQ, Central City, United Federation.
The main control room of GUN headquarters was a vast semicircular space in the basement of a shining glass and steel tower on the southern edge of Central City. Right now, as Commander Abraham Tower walked into the room, something was obviously happening, and it didn't look good. Technicians scurried around like spooked rabbits, handing each other sets of paper printouts, while other technicians tapped frantically at their console stations. Commander Tower cleared his throat pointedly. One of the GUN operatives noticed and yelled "Tenshun! Commander on deck!" This managed to subdue the noisy babble as the soldiers in the room acknowledged their leader.
"So, dare I ask what's going on, or do I just chalk it up to the curse of Friday the thirteenth?" Commander Tower asked with his typical dry humour. A few technicians laughed nervously. One of their number, who hadn't joined in the laughter, walked up to his commander and handed him a report with shaking hands. Commander Tower scanned the report and frowned. "Total radar blackout over a four hundred mile radius south of Station Square?" he asked. "I reckon you'd better show me the radar screen, Taylor." Taylor and his superior walked back to the radar screen. A large portion of the screen was taken up with nothing but swirling static. Commander Tower scratched his head. "Taylor, did you break this sonofabitch?" he grunted. Taylor shook his head. "No sir. I didn't do anything to it, sir." Commander Tower huffed in semi-satisfaction. "Good, because you know I'd throw your ass out of GUN if you did." Taylor nodded. "Yes sir. I know you would, sir."
There was a brief pause as Commander Tower tried to work out if Taylor was being sarcastically insubordinate. In the end, the commander of GUN decided that there were bigger problems brewing than a slightly cheeky comment from one of his soldiers. "You've run the standard diagnostic?" Commander Tower asked. "Yes sir. But I don't think it's a problem with the radar. The blackout area has moved about sixty miles since it appeared on our screens. I'm pretty sure someone is jamming us."
"If we can't see them on radar, maybe we can see them by other means." Commander Tower rubbed his chin. "Can we get an infrared scan of the area?" A technician at another console pressed some buttons, and his eyes widened. "I think we're in trouble, sir." He stated nervously. Commander Tower joined the soldier in looking at the infrared scan. The screen was showing the same area as the radar, and the colours indicating the background temperature showed that the sky was significantly hotter than it should have been. "According to these readings, sir, there are only two possibilities. The first is that the sky in this area has somehow spontaneously combusted. The second…well…" Commander Tower glared at the nervous soldier. "Spit it out, man. The second possibility?" The technician swallowed. "Maybe it's a whole heap of jet engines all burning away at once."
"Transmit the yellow alert command." Commander Tower ordered. "We don't fire yet, but I want all GUN forces on weapons posture one. Warning red, weapons tight. I want everything loaded. And someone get me a line to the president." As the GUN soldiers scrambled to obey their leader, one ran up to Commander Tower. "Sir, the president is on Screen Six." Commander Tower nodded, and marched briskly up to one of the large video screens on the wall. The jowly, grey haired face of the President of the United Federation stared back at him. Commander Tower decided that beating around the bush was pointless in the current situation, so he spoke first, before the president could open his mouth. "Sorry for the lack of protocol, sir, but GUN has reason to believe that a large hostile force is currently approaching United Federation territory. I strongly suggest that you evacuate the White House and get Air Force One to Fort Saturn." On screen, the president's flabby face visibly paled. "A very good idea, Commander Tower. After all, we must maintain a working government in a wartime situation."
A second figure, tall and thin with brown hair and intelligent brown eyes in his aquiline face, whispered in the president's ear. The president harrumphed and turned back to Commander Tower. "The vice-president informs me that he will remain here to coordinate suitable evacuation and rescue operations. Emergency broadcasts, that kind of thing. I will be at Fort Saturn within two hours, Commander. Please let them know to expect me." The screen went blank, the president's face replaced by the star and laurel symbol of GUN. A young officer wearing major's rank insignia spoke quietly to Commander Tower. "I don't want to sound critical, sir, but the Vice President seems to have a lot more guts than the president himself." Commander Tower gave a short bark of laughter. "Our esteemed president has a knack for saving his own skin. Don't blame me though, major. I voted for the other guy."
A tense hour slowly passed. The radar dead zone crept closer to Station Square, the coastal resort city known as the "Emerald Coast." Reports came in from GUN military bases signifying their readiness. Admiral Inglebard of the United Federation Navy reported that the naval battle group based at Metal Harbour was en route to the waters surrounding Station Square, while a report from Dr. Isara of the GUN R&D centre near Megacentral stated that the GUN robotic forces were 80% activated. Another report came in from Empire City, seventy miles up the coast from Station Square, reporting that the Seventh Mechanised Cavalry, riding walkers designated as "Hotshots" or "Bigfoots" depending on the weapons fit, was advancing to Station Square under the command of Colonel Ogami. Then, abruptly, one after the other, every screen in the GUN headquarters flickered off. "What now?" growled Commander Tower in irritation. One of the technicians frowned incredulously. "The whole system is down. Looks like someone got a virus into the GUN mainframe somehow. I don't know how, though. The firewalls and antivirus we have are state of the art. Completely unbreakable!"
"Never did like the phrase 'unbreakable.'" Commander Tower grumbled. "Always reminded me too much of the word 'unsinkable.' Like the Titanic. You know, glug glug glug!" Commander Tower tried to lighten the serious situation with comical 'sinking ship' noises. No-one laughed, and the commander was relieved when something happened to draw attention away from his failed joke. One by one, the screens came back to life. But instead of showing the symbol of GUN, the symbol that appeared on the screen was a stylised rendering of a grinning face with a massive moustache. Commander Tower started having grave suspicions as to the origin of the attacking force, suspicions that were confirmed when the central and largest screen in the room lit up and revealed a fat, bald man with a huge moustache.
"Robotnik." Commander Tower hissed. The fat man scowled. "No one told you then, Commander? I go by the name Eggman now." Commander Tower snorted. "Eggman, Robotnik, who cares? You're still a fat geek with delusions of grandeur. So, I suppose this is your revenge? If so, I'm not impressed." Actually, Commander Tower was quite rattled, but he tried to hide it from Eggman. Eggman grinned widely at the comment, and did a terrible impression of Al Jolson in the classic film 'The Jazz Singer.' "You ain't seen nothing yet." A dark-skinned technician manning one of the defunct consoles rolled his eyes at the borderline offensive accent that Eggman had affected. On the screen, Eggman noticed, and grinned even wider. "Oh, so you don't like my mimicry act? Well then, how about a song?" Eggman's face disappeared from the screen, replaced with the symbol on all the other screens, and Commander Tower grimaced as music started playing from the control room speakers. The song was Take That's release 'Rule The World.'
The president of the United Federation settled back in the seat of his private jet, Air Force One, tapping his fingers impatiently. Bad weather had meant that the jet had been diverted to a different flight path, south of the original plan. Still, if it meant a safe arrival… The president wondered idly how the Vice President was doing, trying to calm the no-doubt hysterical populace. He allowed himself a slight smile. Beneath the jovial, chubby veneer he presented to the public, the president was as ruthless and scheming as any politician. You had to be, to get the top job. And this was a golden opportunity. If the Vice President made a hash of the evacuation plans, his political ambitions would be over, he would go down in history as a bungling idiot, and the president would lose one rival for the top job. And if the vice-president succeeded in his efforts, he was part of the president's cabinet, so it counted as the president's success.
The heavily modified airliner shook in the slipstream of something passing it. The president peered out of the window by his seat and yelled in alarm. The escort planes assigned to Air Force One were the most technically advanced fighter jets in the world, flown by the best pilots of the United Federation. But the fact remained that Air Force One only boasted two escorts, and right now, they were being overwhelmed by wave upon wave of strange aircraft. The enemy planes were ugly, stubby, vaguely egg-shaped planes, similar in shape to A-10 attack planes. Some of them, painted yellow, had twin fuselages, but most were silver in colour and had garish shark mouths on their noses. One of the president's stewardesses and bodyguards ran up to the president. "We're under hostile attack, sir. The pilot will try to take evasive action. Please buckle your seatbelt." The president just had time to buckle up before the aircraft lurched to the side in a roll. Outside, three of the silver egg planes noticed Air Force One trying to escape, and broke away from the main group, enacting a secret program embedded in their computer brains. Throttles open fully, the three egg planes rammed the president's plane in a kamikaze run. A wing full of kerosene exploded, the cockpit crumpled from a second hit, and the president's further political ambitions died with him in an incandescent fireball.
In the coastal city of Station Square, the resort city had become a war zone. Small groups of GUN soldiers and mechs fought desperately, unable to call for fire support thanks to the ravages of the Egg Virus. Their opponents, small rotund orange automatons, some walking on stubby legs, some flying with small rectangular wings, kept up a steady stream of fire at the beleaguered GUN forces. In the fashionable downtown business district of Station Square, a short, balding man with a long nose scrambled frantically away from a small group of the robots that were chasing him. He tumbled down a shallow incline into a construction site, his expensive suit getting ruined as he fell in a muddy puddle. Then, his heart sank even further. In front of him was a large, grey robot with green highlights. It had a single, cyclopean optic in its domed head, and its arms ended in anti-tank missile launchers. Next to this robot hovered a small, hemispherical anti-gravity craft. Sitting inside the craft was a figure he'd always dreaded seeing, even as a child. The figure's round form sat superciliously in the craft, a smug smile on its flabby, moustached face.
"Hello Colin." The figure said deceptively pleasantly. "Or should I call you 'Snivelly?'" The small man gulped, sweating. "Hello, uncle Ivo." he said in a tiny voice. Eggman grinned wolfishly at his nephew. "Actually, it's Eggman now. I changed my name. And I hear you usurped my company." The last of the colour in Colin 'Snivelly' Robotnik's face drained away. Eggman continued. "Normally, I'd kill someone for doing that, but you're family, so I'm going to give you a choice. The first option is for you to give me my company back and come and work for me. Consider it a buyout of your post on the board of directors. Or, your other option is to refuse, in which case I will have no choice but to have Missile Wrist turn you into guacamole." The large grey robot raised its launcher arms menacingly. Snivelly needed no further encouragement. Throwing himself down on the muddy ground, he started grovelling shamelessly. "Oh, please don't kill me, Uncle Ivo! I have a girlfriend and a kid! Kill them instead! I don't want to die! I'll do whatever you say! I'll sign over Robotnik Industries to you tonight! Please don't kill me, uncle Ivo!" Eggman stepped out of his Egg Pod hovercraft and patted the trembling Snivelly on the head. "I knew you'd make the right choice, Snivelly. Don't worry, you can continue to run Robotnik Industries. Under supervision, of course. I'll need you to set up a few extra production lines for robot building. Oh, and one more thing." Eggman pulled Snivelly's chin up so his watery brown eyes were looking directly into Eggman's round, reflective glasses. Snivelly tried not to gag on his uncle's fetid, eggy breath as Eggman spelled out his new position in life. "From now on, Snivelly, it's not 'Uncle Ivo.' From now on, you call me 'Sir.' Got that?"
"Yes, sir." squeaked Snivelly pathetically.
Oh, Snivelly. When will you learn?...Just in case it wasn't clear (and it probably wasn't!) the president in this chapter is the president from the Sonic X series, while the vice-president is based on the president from the Sonic Adventure 2 and Shadow the Hedgehog games. And finally, if anyone had their suspicions, yes, the GUN senior officers are named after characters from other Sega games: Vyse Inglebard (Panzer Dragoon), Isara Gunther (Valkyria Chronicles) and Ichiro Ogami (Sakura Wars). Next time, Eggman extends his war with a preemptive strike on the Felis Empire. Join us again soon!