A/N: Hello all! Happy Sunday, and thanks again for tuning in to 'To See You This Way.' This chapter finds Emma and Killian facing a few pressure points, but in the end realizing that the best way to handle the stressors life throws their way is together. This chapter of course includes a flashback/Killian's book segment and more fluff than I can say, which is exactly what I needed today. The worst thing about summer is that all the shows are off the air, and I think my fics have all gotten fluffier to cope with that withdrawal. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!
Despite the glorious September afternoon, with the sun and the subtle ocean breeze blowing through town, Killian felt on edge. What started as a lovely day, where he'd not only managed to share a breakfast date with Emma, but made great strides in working on the house to get it ready, was fast deteriorating. He'd been holding off the rest of the world outside of Storybrooke as best he could for a few weeks now, but the bubble could only hold so strong, and now here he was, dealing with the same old mess he'd been subjected to in California.
Pressing his fingers against his temples, to alleviate some of the tension building there, Killian prayed for patience. He'd been sitting on this conference call for nearly twenty minutes, listening to his agent and publisher go on ad nauseam about a plan for A Life in Love. Never mind that he had no interest in it, never mind that he hadn't responded to anything they'd said essentially since saying hello. They continued on and on, droning about what they wanted, when the only reason he'd picked up at all was that his phone hadn't stopped ringing since landing in Storybrooke. It was driving him mental.
The only thing getting him through any of it was thoughts of Emma, and how well things remained between them. He'd never dared to hope that she would find it in her heart to try again so soon. Actually, he'd been prepared for her to never even consider it at all, but here they were, slowly building up to what he wanted – a future where they were securely together, tied to each other from here on out. They had a ways to go, yes, and they were taking it slow since it had only been a few weeks since his return, but for the first time in a long time Killian had hope that he was moving in the right direction. To keep that path though he needed to stay, to be here for Emma no matter what, but the people working on his book were unwilling to see that.
"I think twenty cities is reasonable. It can be done in the month, no problem. We cover our bases, a few outlets in each city and press junkets –," Finally Killian snapped, unwilling to listen to anymore.
"No." Silence descended for a beat.
"No?" His publishing liaison asked incredulously, and he could bet the same skepticism currently clung to his agent
"If you could take a minute to stop talking and to actually read through the contract I signed with both of you, you will see that I protected myself from such ridiculousness. I didn't write this book for the money, and I certainly have no intention of getting on a bloody plane and flying around this country to sell another million copies." In truth, this phone call in itself was enough of a burden for Killian to deal with. He'd just begun work on constructing the porch swing, and after a few delays, felt good about installing the custom piece he'd had built to suit the house. The longer he remained on the phone, the longer he'd have to put it off for.
"No one writes a book and doesn't care about the money." Killian laughed at the publisher's strategy. Fool hardy as it was, at least it was grounded in some honesty. His agent would never in a billion years say something like that, probably because she knew Killian better than that and didn't want to risk the money she did still make off of him.
"Well, mate, that's exactly what I did." His agent tried this time, and as expected used a far gentler touch.
"Killian, I'm not blowing smoke up your ass when I say that this book could be the book of the decade. It's fantastic, but there's no way it's ever going to get the kind of accolades or attention it deserves without the right kind of press. It's all an investment into the viability of this novel. Is it annoying? Yes, but its part of this business." That was his point exactly though, this book wasn't business to Killian. It was a means to make amends with the only person in his world who really even mattered.
"You all are the platform on which I get to tell the woman I love that I fucked up and will never do anything so bloody foolish again. I'm not going to do interviews and press about it, because it's private. The world may know the baseline of our story, but that's all they get. I'm not willing to give anything else."
Killian would wager in that moment that the silence through the speakers of the phone was either the result of incredible stress, or harried rereading of the contract in question. Regardless, Killian had no more time left for this.
"Now let me make this perfectly clear – I can give you each five minutes every week. There is nothing that you would ever need to run by me that would take up more time than that. Are we clear?" Both parties agreed that they were begrudgingly, and happily Killian ended the call, chucking his phone across the porch.
"You tell em' brother." The laughter in Liam's voice was evident as Killian looked over his shoulder to where his brother stood by the gate. With ease, Liam unlatched the front portion and stepped onto the stone path, closing the space between them. Killian ran a hand through his hair, trying to somehow shake the lingering tension off his person.
"How long have you been there?" Liam smirked.
"Long enough to know you don't give a shit about the money." Perfect, so that meant he'd heard everything really. Without a word, Killian moved towards the porch swing and nodded towards it to Liam, who joined him in setting it just so. His brother waited until Killian secured the chains on both sides, effectively harnessing the swing into place before speaking again. "Have you talked to Emma about it?"
"About the touring? No because I've no intention of going."
"I meant about the book being published at all. You said it yourself, this is your story for Emma, but you're daft if you think that not touring means it won't be read the world over. They won't just be talking about your writing or your characters this time. This is you and Emma, changed names or not." Killian clenched his jaw. It wasn't that he was angry at Liam, but he was definitely ticked at the insinuation that he'd be doing anything to put Emma in the line of fire. Still, Liam had a point in a way.
"Despite what everyone thinks, no one really cares about the writer, and it's not going to matter to anyone that it's what really happened. If it does, what more is there to say than that I love her and she's everything to me?" Liam's face remained impassive despite Killian's escalating emotions. Taking a deep breath, Killian supplemented. "Besides, all Emma has to do is tell me to stop and I will. I've been very careful about keeping her rights to the content safe and protected. Nothing and no one is going to hurt Emma again."
"Okay then." Killian wasn't sure what he expected from his brother in that moment, but it wasn't the wide grin and slap on the shoulder that came with the quick acceptance.
"Just like that this little inquisition is over?" Liam nodded.
"Aye. I only asked because I promised Elsa to. She has it in her head that all of this progress you and Emma have made might be undermined by the book. I told her she was worrying for nothing, but I'd rather ask you silly questions than see her unhappy."
Despite the discomfort of the queries, Killian appreciated that Emma's friends cared enough about her to look into it. Everyone who met Emma should be so inclined to facilitate her best interests. She deserved no less than that.
"They're all on your side, you know," Liam said amiably.
"Who?"
"Emma's friends. They're in your corner, and those are not allies to overlook." Killian smiled at that, musing about just how true that statement was. It was clear that all of these women had become even more important to Emma as time went on. They were her family as well as friends, and the approval of those people closest to her would go a long way.
"Definitely not, and to be honest I'd appreciate all the help I can get. It might just kill me if after everything she turned away in the end."
"To be frank, I think that's about as likely as me waking up tomorrow and deciding to be an Icelandic reindeer herder." Killian barked out a laugh.
"What?" Liam mumbled something about Elsa's sister's boyfriend studying reindeers for a living in Iceland, until meeting Anna and rejoining the real world. Needless to say, Liam was unimpressed with such a life, and the comment was a vote of confidence in Killian and Emma finding a happy ending. To show him how much, Liam remained on through the rest of the day, assisting Killian with some other odd jobs around the house that required more than one person.
Soon enough, the edge that came from his phone call was but a distant blip in the history of his day. He knew it would all be made better if he could just wait a little longer, for he was seeing Emma again tonight, and hopefully every night hereafter.
….
"Nothing like the start of football season to push us past the summer lull," Emma nodded at Tiana's words. They'd had a completely full day today, swamped with patients, most of whom were a part of the Storybrooke football team. Their ailments ranged from mild dehydration to sprains, but one boy had come in with the season's first concussion, providing the sad reminder that this was a very dangerous sport for young boys to be playing. None of her other student athletes who made their way in for treatment were as prone to these impact injuries, but try convincing the masses that this might be a game better not played in high school.
"Did you get Mrs. Johnson that information on the best protective helmets? I know the schools don't have the money to invest in them, but if anyone can get those funded for the kids, its her." Tiana nodded that she had, giving Emma a little relief. It might not eradicate the problem, but that extra padding would go a long way to helping alleviate the higher numbers of concussions she saw this time of year.
"She's already got a slew of ideas. I'm sure they'll be bake sales and raffle nights enough to get them in no time." Emma smiled at the thought. Storybrooke was a town that supported its neighbors, a place where people came together around common causes to make their town better. Because of that, they had an awful lot of fundraisers.
"Knock knock." Emma and Tiana looked up to find Elsa, carrying in her hands a tray of coffees, and a box wrapped in the same style of every gift Emma received from Killian.
"Ooo I think I love that man," Tiana said as she checked the cups. "Yup, he got the order right. Major brownie points. And look at this – actual brownies!" Emma grinned at Tiana's reaction to Killian's gesture. Over the past few weeks, he'd managed to supply them with a caffeine or sweet fix on their most harrowing days, as if he had the place under surveillance. Emma knew better though – her man was somewhat magically inclined. Tiana placed a brownie on a napkin, handing it to Emma along with her cocoa, and proceeded to run away with the rest of the baked goods.
"I take it this isn't a one time thing," Elsa teased.
"Not exactly. Though I'm surprised he sent you today." Elsa gave a small smile that hinted at her being here for a reason.
"Actually, I volunteered. I've been meaning to talk to you about something." Elsa took a seat across from Emma's desk and handed her the gift from Killian. Emma accepted it, carefully placing it in her drawer for later.
"What's up?" Elsa fidgeted a little.
"I just wanted to check in with you to make sure you're really doing okay. A lot has happened in such a short time, I wanted you to know I'm here if you ever need to talk."
"Thanks Elsa. It's been kind of a whirlwind, but I don't know, I feel like it's all going to work out. Things are really good, better than they've been in a long time." Elsa nodded, but she was still holding back. "Do you think I have a reason to be cautious?"
"No, not at all! I mean I know you missed him all these years, and I want you two to get back together. You make each other happy, and you deserve that Emma, you really do. I've just been thinking about the book. It's one thing for him to write it for you, it's sweet and considerate and honestly one of the most romantic things I've ever heard of, but…"
"But he's a world renowned author and in a couple months this book is going to be on book shelves across the country and beyond." Elsa waved her hand in agreement.
"Exactly! I just worry that it'll be too much, that that kind of public scrutiny might not be the best place for you guys to see if this can be the happily ever after you're both hoping it will be." Emma blushed at the wording, knowing that was exactly what was happening. Emma was testing the waters with Killian in hopes that they could someday make a go of forever, but she needed to set the record straight.
"It doesn't scare me that everyone will know our story. Reading it piece by piece over these past few weeks, it's like… like the most intimate snapshot of who we were and what he thought, but it only feels that way because it's about us. It's not that different of a story from the one's the rest of the world knows, so I don't expect anyone to go gaga for us in particular. But I know that if a moment came when it got to be too much, Killian would handle it. He'd never let this come back to hurt me, not when he's trying so hard to fix us."
Saying the words out loud made something click inside Emma's chest. This was the truth – she could trust Killian to protect her, and so by extension, she could trust him with her heart again. That was an amazing feeling, and she couldn't keep the smile from her face. Her eyes shifted from Elsa to her desk sometime during her declaration, to a note he'd written her a few days before that simply read 'You are everything, love.' Only a sniffle from her friend brought Emma's attention back up to Elsa, who was full on tearing up.
"I'm sorry, it's just that was so beautiful. I shouldn't have doubted that this was the right way –," Emma came around the desk and placed her hands on Elsa's arms as the woman stood.
"No Elsa, it's fine. You're just watching out for me like a good friend. Besides, you pushed me to be honest with myself, so really I should be thanking you." Elsa sniffled a bit more, grabbing a tissue from the desk.
"Okay, but I should warn you now that now that I'm really on board, there's no shaking me, especially since if you two get married, that will technically make us sisters." Emma hadn't thought of that, but just the mention of marriage set butterflies soaring through her.
"I always wanted a sister," she said softly, before composing herself again, "but still, way too early to be talking weddings. Let's just focus on getting you married, okay?"
Elsa nodded and said her goodbyes, leaving Emma to her own thoughts once more. It was impossible not to imagine the dream life Elsa alluded to, one with a big white wedding a groom who had her whole heart, and had since they were kids, but Emma had to try. She did her best to focus on her work and other things until six o'clock came once more, and then she returned to the pages of her incredible history, courtesy of Killian.
…
This was a bloody mistake. That was the resounding thought pounding through my head as I stood on the sidelines watching the veteran team members lining up to eventually pummel each other to death.
Maybe that was a bit extreme, but to a foreigner, it was hard to view American football as anything but the stopping and starting of huge bodies slamming into each other with the purpose of inflicting enough harm to throw you to the ground. No single element of this game appealed to me, in all honesty I was sick to my stomach just standing out here for tryouts, but it was out of my hands at this point. I looked over to where the cheerleaders were holding their tryouts across the football field in the back corner, and reminded myself why I was here. There, amongst the fray of girls trying out was Emma, looking skeptical but beautiful with her hair tied back and her running clothes on.
I had absolutely no idea why she'd settled on cheerleading as a new potential hobby just before our sophomore year, but I did know that her green eyes lit up with the possibility when she spoke of it. She talked in that excited way that she always did when something intrigued her, and her hands flew about as if illustrating her point along with her words. I'd missed parts of her argument, focused as I was on her full lips, but I understood enough to know that she wanted this. If she was going to be on this field every afternoon, I needed then to find a way to do the same without seeming like a bloody creep. Football it was then.
"Jones!" Coach Adam's calling my name brought my attention back front, just in time to see him flinging a hard pass my way. It was just beyond my reach, but about to hit another student in the gut. Instinctively I moved to catch it easily, frustrated that the man had risked the other unaware kid to test my reflexes, but he just grinned at me. He'd been hoping I'd join the team since first day freshman year, but I'd opted to stick with boxing as I had in England at a gym nearby. My being here was somehow a victory in this man's eyes. "I want to try you out at receiver."
Great, so while my job wasn't to pummel the others, it was to catch the ball and then pray to god I didn't get pummeled by another player. I winced as I pulled the helmet over my head, feeling bulky but still vulnerable and took my spot in the line up. The senior who currently held the position glared at me as he ran the play first, showing me what to do and then smiled triumphantly when he caught the ball. He celebrated with a stupid handshake with the quarterback, Arthur King, before muttering about my being a foreign bastard. Charming as the starting receiver was, he didn't bother me nearly as much as his friend.
"Try and give me something to work with, Jones." Whether Arthur King knew it or not, I would have loved nothing more than to punch him in the face. Seriously the guy was terrible, walking around campus as if his last name and spot on the team made him royalty. One of his favorite pastimes was ranking girls based on their hotness level and then pursuing the one's he deemed fit just to discard them like they were nothing. It had always bothered me but when I'd heard him make a comment about my Emma the first day of school this year, I'd nearly fucking lost my mind. Thinking about it now made me ball my fists up in anger.
I guarded my emotions, not wanting him to see the boiling rage I felt, as I took my spot among the line up. When the play started I easily dodged the blockers and was wide open, making far better time and a better outcome than the starter had, but I didn't care, not about the congratulations from the others trying out or the resentment from the veterans. I simply took my spot back on the sideline and looked out to make sure Emma was okay.
"You should have tried out last year, you'd already have a spot on the team," one of the freshman besides me answered. I just shrugged, not wanting to explain that I was only here at all because my best friend and the girl I was in love with had it in her head that we needed more after school activities for our college applications. It didn't matter that we were sophomores and that college was three years away, once Emma set her mind to something it would happen.
Emma's enthusiasm and determination were endearing traits, and some of the reasons I loved her, but her presence on the squad would make her an easy target for Arthur's attention or slander. I knew Emma could handle herself, but that didn't mean I would ever let her walk into the lion's den alone. I didn't have the heart to tell her that's what she was doing, but I'd try to see her through it all the same. As long as it made her happy, I'd grin and bear it.
About an hour later coach allowed us a water break and I noticed the cheerleaders doing the same. Emma though had reached for her things on the bleachers, her bag swung over her shoulder as if she was leaving. I waved at her and she smiled, running down the steps to see me.
"Everything alright, Swan?" She nodded and bit her lip, which told me that something had happened. "What is it?" I reached out to take her hand, not thinking the better of it until the spark of the contact between us shot through me.
"It's nothing, I just… I really hate cheerleading." I exhaled a sigh of relief as I began to laugh. She did the same and though I heard the others getting ready to return to the field I lingered with her.
"Thank Christ. Let's get out of here." Her eyes widened in surprise.
"But I saw you out there. You're really good, you don't have to leave just because of me." Pride pounded through my chest at her words. She'd noticed me, paid attention to me, and kept tabs on me as I'd done for her.
"Trust me, Swan, you'll be doing me a favor. I wasn't cut out for this group." She shook her head, finally realizing that we were still holding hands and squeezed tighter smiling at me.
"Okay, let's go." I broke away from her to grab my things, facing the wrath of Coach Adams and more taunts from the team, one that particularly bothered me.
"I'd leave for that ass too." I turned so quickly to King, I should have gotten whiplash and I lowered my voice to that icy chill that comes with true anger.
"You so much as look in her direction and you will regret it, King." I saw the flash of fear in his eyes and reveled in it, glad I'd managed some level of intimidation. I meant every word I said and had no doubt that if it came to it, I would crush him in a fight, but that would be a last resort. I didn't favor violence, but sometimes a man had it coming, and Arthur King was such a man.
Without another word I grabbed my things and left, returning to Emma once more and heading back towards the school. We made our way out around the bleachers, where unsurprisingly a couple made out undeterred by the tryouts flanking them on all sides. What did surprise me was the culprits' identities. David Nolan and Mary Margaret Blanchard were friends of ours who'd taken up together over the summer, but they were by no means the type to sneak off on school grounds like this. Then again, David had the girl he loved, and if I had such luck with Emma I'd likely be pulling her away to all corners of this town for a kiss.
"Emma! Killian!" David said jovially, clearly far less embarrassed than his girl at being caught. You'd have thought he'd just won a marathon and I shook my head at him.
"If this is what 'debate club prep' is code for, you should tell people. You might get more signups." I bit back a laugh at Emma's teasing and watched Mary Margaret's blush deepen.
"What happened to cheerleading?" She asked Emma.
"And football?" Dave asked. Emma smiled up at me.
"It wasn't right for us." I ignored Dave's smirk, for he knew just how much Emma meant to me, having figured it out near immediately. Instead I focused on how Emma yet again had coupled us together, like we were a team. If that was all we ever had it would be enough for me.
"Well I could have told you that," Mary Margaret said, "Emma, why don't you join debate with me? We need more people as smart as you, and it'll be a great way for you to use that sarcastic wit for good."
"Hey – I'm smart too!" Emma laughed hitting her hip against mine.
"No one said you weren't."
"Not yet anyway. Come on, Killian. Let's leave the answering of the world's big questions to them, while we just kick a ball around for glory." And there it was, the inevitable pitch to get me on the 'soccer' team. I'd heard it before, even been tempted once or twice to accept, but it would have cut into my afternoons too much. Now though, I could use something to fill the time while Emma was busy too.
"Speaking of, why aren't you at tryouts?" David shrugged.
"Didn't seem that important honestly, but they'll forgive me if I claim it was all in pursuit of recruiting you." The sad part was they would. I looked at Emma for her advice, but it was Mary Margaret who replied.
"None of the debate meets or soccer games overlap, you know." That made Emma smile.
"Well then I guess you have to join. What other activities could I go out and cheer you on for?" That was it, I was sold with just the promise that she'd be there, and in the end she was. For every game I ever played, win, lose, or draw, Emma was there, pushing me to do better. I was at all her debate meets too, but she didn't need me there. She was destined to shine all on her own.
….
Running her hands through Killian's hair, pulling him closer for another kiss, Emma couldn't believe they were doing this, making out like teenagers again under the damn bleachers. As soon as she'd finished reading his pages, she texted him, claiming she wanted to go for a walk, all with the intention of ending up back here. Emma wanted to see the place where all these memories happened, and though some things had changed, so much had stayed the same.
It was one of the things that made this book so wonderful in Emma's eyes. Only people from Storybrooke could ever know Emma and Killian's story really. Everyone else would just imagine what it must be like, would make their own faces and places and details of how the story went, but this was the truth. These places were a part of them because they were the setting of their history, so even if millions of people read it, there were still parts no one could truly ever know. It was a profession of love both detailed and somehow reserved, that Emma could do nothing but marvel at.
Killian's words today also captured a moment Emma had completely forgotten about, because where he'd noticed their lack of direction Emma never felt it. Yes, she had sometimes gotten it in her head to try new things, to change it up, but it was never needed, just another way to have a small adventure with Killian by her side. Killian was always there to keep her going, and it didn't matter what she did, cheerleading or debate or drama or what have you. She just remembered him being there for her each and every step of the way.
Emma also remembered wanting him in high school too. Seeing Mary Margaret and David together had always been bitter sweet. They had what she wanted, but she wanted it with her best friend and was scared that saying that to him would change things between them. His written words now told her he felt the same, like the risk wasn't worth losing her and Emma was just thankful that they had taken the plunge, and that in the end they were taking another now. He'd written her a book – an actual book – that was still so hard to imagine, but more than that he was making a new story for them. It traced their past while scoping out a better future, one hopefully filled with kisses as hot as this.
"If I had nickel for every time I dreamed of us ending up here, love." Killian said as he pulled back for a moment while Emma tried to catch her breath.
"Well now you have me. So what are you going to do about it?" The fire in his eyes promised thorough, maddening pleasure and his lips crashed down on hers again. Her whole body was ablaze with lust as she arched closer, not wanting any space between them. Grinding against him, Emma smiled when he pulled back to groan.
"For such a smart girl, you seem to be forgetting that we are on school property. They would throw us both in jail if I made good on some of those fantasies." It was on the tip of Emma's tongue to say to hell with it, but an unexpected voice behind them made her jump instead.
"They would indeed." Seeing that the person who'd found them was David, Emma couldn't hold back her laughter. Yes he was a sheriff's deputy, and yes he could technically get them in trouble, but it was just too perfect after today's stroll down memory lane. Emma tried to muffle her giggling by burying her face in Killian's chest, feeling his own rumble of amusement as she did.
"Evening Officer Nolan." For some reason that only made Emma laugh harder.
"Look, I know you two are just making up for lost time, but your twenty-eight, not eighteen, and I gotta tell you, it's a little weird that you don't have a better place to do this." Now Emma pulled away and shot David a look.
"Says the man who caused a scene at Gretta's Groceries last year for kissing his wife into a display of oranges." Killian's jaw went slack.
"Mate, you didn't!" David huffed, going a little red.
"This is not about me!"
"Maybe it should be though. Sounds like a serious loss of property on Gretta's account." Emma shoved at Killian playfully and turned back to David.
"If we leave now, I trust you'll spare us the ticket and any more lecturing." David considered Emma's words for a moment and nodded.
"As long as you kids stay out of trouble."
"David, we're the same age."
"So act that way!" With that, David stepped back into his cruiser and took off, leaving Emma and Killian alone once more.
"I'm not sure if it's possible to rein this in love. I have a sneaking suspicion that my feelings for you will always make me feel like a teenager." He took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers and making her feel somehow more complete with the simple gesture.
"He had a point though," Killian raised a brow.
"Did he now?" Emma nodded.
"I can think of better places for continuing this than under some old metal bleachers."
"Is that right?" He asked, licking his lips and sending Emma's tummy fluttering.
"Take me home, Killian." And so he did, filling her night with more teenage like endeavors and a whole lot of happy.
Post-Note: I definitely wanted just lighthearted fluff on this rainy (where I am at least) Sunday. The next few chapters will have some bigger moments and steps forward in Emma and Killian's relationship, but I loved the idea of my CS babies getting to relive some high school rights of passage they missed out on. Plus, Elsa and Liam interfering but all in the hopes of things working out is one of my favorite dynamics to write, so I was happy to slip that in there as well. Hope you guys enjoyed, and let me know what you thought! Have a lovely rest of your weekend and thanks for reading!