A/N: Hello lovely readers. It's Sunday which means that I am back with another chapter of 'To See You This Way.' This week brings Emma and Killian moving in together and a hint of an upcoming proposal. We have the usual fluffiness, both of their POVs and a little smut to round out the chapter. Rest assured I have loved writing this installment, and I am hoping you will all enjoy the amount of CS cuteness I've infused in here. Thanks for reading!
Emma expected the overwhelming happiness that came from letting Killian back in her life to settle at some point. That would make sense, for the newness of the feelings to lull a bit, not leaving completely, but at least calming down some. It never occurred to her that she'd continue to wake up every day in Killian's arms and always feel that warmth of love and contentment just as strongly as that first night. She just hadn't believed it possible, but here they were, weeks after her confessing that she still loved him and she couldn't tamper down her good feelings if she tried.
Emma caught herself smiling all the time, seemingly over nothing. She was quicker to laugh, and more willing to say yes to almost everything that came her way. She also never felt alone and for Emma that was a defining thing. Killian reminded her both with words and actions day in and day out that he was here with her and that he wasn't going anywhere. They lived together in this place that had already become her home, and honestly, it was as close to perfect as Emma could imagine a place being.
Three weeks passed from the night Emma and Killian's decided to live together before Emma actually went about moving all of her belongings to their house. It wasn't any sort of hesitation that kept her from doing so earlier, actually quite the opposite. Emma's days were filled with work, and her nights with so much love with Killian that she hadn't wanted to pull away to pack things up. It was silly maybe, but Killian enabled her until a few days ago when he announced that he couldn't wait anymore and Emma agreed. So they'd set out to box up everything in her apartment and they'd hired movers to bring it all here to their home.
The classification of this house as theirs still made Emma tingle with excitement. She couldn't imagine a more beautiful place to start a life with Killian, and he was nothing but accommodating at every turn, insisting that whatever she wanted they would have. Little did he seem to realize that he'd already created everything she could want on his own, but she promised him over and over that if anything came up she wouldn't hesitate to tell him.
In the hopes of getting all of this done today so that they could have the intermingling of their two separate lives complete, Emma was here putting the last of her belongings away through the house while Killian ran some much needed errands. Mostly she was sifting through keepsakes from her last attic deciding where to put things or debating if she should just toss them back up in this attic as well. She'd barely looked through the boxes before, but felt she should now just to be sure she needed all of this stuff in the first place.
As Emma looked through the packaging, she unearthed things from all different moments in her life. Like her baby blanket, the one that she'd been found in as a newborn. It was all she had of her birth parents, and for a long time she'd warred with her feelings on it. Maybe it was a sign that someone cared enough to make or buy a blanket like this, but over time she'd come to see it as a reminder that for whatever reason, she hadn't been enough for them. Now though, it as just a small token of a chapter in her story. She was no longer the abandoned girl without a family, and she hadn't been that girl for a long time.
Emma moved to another box and found a whole host of pictures, ones she'd completely forgotten about as the years went on. Emma's adoptive parents captured some of these moments, but other snapshots came from her own stints with photography. They covered everything, from her family trips to school activities, and in so many of the photos a certain blue-eyed boy joined Emma, always standing right beside her.
Looking at these pictures now, so many years after the fact, Emma couldn't help but get a little teary eyed. His love for her was so clear now, and in half of these pictures, Killian looked at her with adoration instead of at the camera. It made her heart hurt in that same way that his beautiful words did. Emma made a pile of all the pictures she wanted to keep down here and to display throughout the house but some would go upstairs to gander at another day.
One box in particular proved to be a treasure trove for more memories than she'd ever expected. It was filled with books, or so she'd thought at first glance, but upon closer inspection, Emma realized these were her old diaries that she'd kept as a kid. What started as a therapeutic means of coping with her adoption grew into a habit that stuck with her for years, all the way up until leaving for college. She knew they were all likely filled with poor spelling and questionable grammar, but she couldn't help but want to take a peak at them.
She poured through years of feelings quickly, seeing in them a theme that could not be denied – she'd had it bad for Killian, and he was never far from her thoughts or her heart throughout all their years of friendship. Many of these stories were ones Killian reminded her of in his book, only written with less finesse, but one of the journals, the one from their last summer before college, provided a glimpse into moments Killian had yet to gift her with his take on yet.
Emma debated wading through the pages of the diary and binging on those good memories, but stopped herself, realizing that it would feel better and more vivid if she waited for Killian's point of view. She didn't want to risk dulling that lovely feeling that came with reading his perception of things, but she did allow herself to read a snippet that lined up with his most recent chapter Killian had given her.
Even as she read it, Emma could remember writing it years ago, and how she'd snuck into her house late that night completely overwhelmed with everything. The shakiness of her handwriting compared to the chapters before and after was noticeable, but also understandable. This had been a big moment for them, maybe one of the biggest in the whole history of their relationship.
Still, while she read the words, Emma felt a hunger grow for Killian's take again. Though she'd already read the chapter a half a dozen times, she moved through the house to their bedroom to find it once more, essentially abandoning her final bit of unpacking. Emma pulled out the pieces of paper from their spot with the rest of his revealed manuscript and poured over them, losing herself again in a beautiful moment from long ago.
….
We stood at the shoreline in the fading daylight staring out into the horizon. There was nothing but the ocean as far as the eye could see. The wind blew in our faces as the soft sound of surf mixed with the day's last cries of the seabirds. Summer was here, and so was the rest of our lives.
Walking across that stage today, I'd felt the shift. High school was over, and now Emma and I had one last summer – one last season to be in this place before the real world barreled in in some way or another. I didn't believe for a second that we'd lose each other, but the impending shift left me feeling unsettled because distance of any kind with Emma was less than what I wanted. As if she could sense my anxiety, Emma reached out in that moment to take my hand in hers like it was the most natural thing to do.
No one else was here on this beach, but even if they had been, I wouldn't give a damn. I was proud to hold her hand like this, and when her fingers intertwined with mine it felt like a live wire shooting raw electricity through me. I could barely think, barely breathe, but I never wanted to let go, not as long as I lived. In the moment where she took my hand, my eyes immediately found her, looking at her profile as she continued her gazing out into the great beyond.
Emma still wore her white dress from graduation this morning, the one that made her look even more angelic than usual. Her golden hair had long ago escaped the style she confined it to for the ceremony, and now the soft strands blew out behind her, dancing so enticingly I wanted nothing more than to reach out and be reminded of how soft her hair truly was. She'd stripped off her shoes the second we hit the sand and her toes were at the edge of the water, the slightest bit of foam lapping over her with each wave. Emma didn't mind the cold of the Maine currents though, and neither did I. In fact, I was practically burning from the inside out just with the feel of her hand in mine.
"We did it," Emma finally said after a few minutes just standing there in silence.
"Aye, love, we did." Emma looked over at me then and smiled, squeezing my hand with a sad smile coming over her face. Without hesitation I stepped closer, abandoning my watch of the water, to pull her closer. "What's wrong, Emma?"
"Nothing. It's just, we're leaving for school at the end of the summer." I furrowed my brow, not understanding. We'd specifically chosen schools in the same city, or at least I had, despite getting into some other top Universities across the country. All I'd needed was one indication of Emma's interests and I made my plan. I was off to Northeastern University in the fall, approximately one and a half miles away from her at BU.
"We'll both be in Boston though. Together." Emma brightened a little at that but bit her lip all the same, a lingering sign of her worry.
"I know. I'm just scared. I don't want to lose you, Killian."
Something in me finally boiled over at the point, and in a second, my desire to show her that I was never going anywhere trumped the years of anxiety and fear I'd been holding close instead of telling her the full truth. My hand came up to cup her cheek, and I watched as her shining green eyes widened. Before I could second-guess myself anymore, I leaned down to press my lips to hers and felt immediate pleasure at the brush of our lips. Though Emma seemed surprised she didn't push me away, at least not before I pulled back, already craving another taste.
"Why?" Emma asked, the breathiness in her voice undeniable as her emerald eyes searched mine for answers. I moved a wayward strand of her hair out of her face and behind her ear, emboldened by the kiss even though I still felt terrified.
"Why what?" I asked, hearing the warble of uncertainty that the words held.
"Why did you kiss me?" Here it was, the moment of truth, and I could not lie to Emma. I never had been able to even all these years of holding back.
"Because I'm in love with you, Emma. I've always loved you, since the first time we met here on this beach." I immediately wished I could give her better words, grander turns of phrase to make her see how much she meant to me. She was everything and all of me belonged to her without doubt or question, but I couldn't get the thoughts off of my tongue. They held back, waiting for a sign that I hadn't completely sabotaged the greatest relationship I'd ever known.
One heartbeat marked the length of silence I waited through, but it felt like years passed me by in that moment. I needed to know what she thought, half convinced I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life, but then a smile appeared on my beautiful Emma's face that out shone the sun. She seemed joyous in a way I'd never witnessed before at my words and my heart pounded in my chest, pumping raw and unbridled hope through my system.
"You love me?" She asked, and I could hear how choked up with emotion she was even as she took a half step towards me.
"I love you." I couldn't tell which of us moved first, but we collided then, crashing into each other to try and ease the tension that had resided between us for years. Emma's arms wrapped around my neck as her lips came to kiss me, and this one blew the other clear out of the water. Emma tasted just as sweet as I'd always imagined, and she kissed like a dream. I could hardly comprehend the sheer bliss that came from holding her in my arms and kissing her like I'd always wanted to, but then she pulled back and whispered a few words of her own.
"I love you too, Killian. So much." In a second, all the what-ifs of my life faded away, replaced with an unimaginable but gorgeous truth: Emma Swan, through some kind of miracle, loved me. This girl with the golden hair and the quick wit who cared about everyone no matter who they were and who held more passion for life in her heart than anyone I'd ever met, loved me. Emma loved me!
We were consumed with out confessions, ensnared in this new discovery, and I have no idea how long we stood out there, clinging to each other, but when we pulled back finally, the moon shone bright and the sun had sunk long ago. The stars in the clear night sparkled, bright and vibrant in an inky black sky, but none of it held a candle to my new reality. I had the love of the best person alive, and I swore then and there to never lose it as long as I lived.
….
Nothing could take away the shine of the happiness Killian carried with him since making his way back into Emma's life, but of course the Universe would try to chip away at the blinding joy from time to time. Today's attempt came in the form of his Storybrooke neighbors, for even though his tasks this afternoon were clear and easily accomplished in theory, he had people stopping to talk to him left and right as he moved through the town checking things off his list.
Sending off the final foreword of his book to his publisher should have been a five-minute task at the post office, but it took nearly thirty with the swarm of elderly ladies who asked after Emma and that 'big old house' that needed 'filling with babies.' Not that Killian didn't agree with them, because that was in fact the plan, but he didn't need these women pressuring his Swan with their thoughts on when and how to go about starting their family.
From there he went to the grocery store, where Killian had all of five ingredients to pick up for their intended dinner. That quick trip devolved into a horror show right quick. Between all the people coming up looking for information on the moving van outside his and Emma's home, and the staff who were frustrated with Killian for the slower than usual lines, Killian wanted to tear his hair out.
Finally Killian made it out and to Granny's to grab him and Emma their lunch. There at least was some verbal reprieve, thanks to Granny herself who openly chastised their neighbors for badgering him, but he could still feel their stares, eyes watching him for some sort of silent sign of more information. He kept his eyes averted, completely aware that prolonged eye contact would just invite more talking that he didn't want to partake in.
Killian couldn't understand everyone's fixation with him and Emma as a couple, but he prayed that it would fade soon enough. If he was going to be spending the next sixty years with Emma at his side only for the town to stalk their every movement, Killian was bound to lose it at some point. Granny, thank the Gods, was speedy in seeing to his order though, and disaster, at least for today, was averted.
With grilled cheese and onion rings then in hand, Killian made his way to his final stop of the day. This one though, required a level of discretion he hadn't been able to achieve up until now, but he had a plan. He dropped the food off at his car and then made his way down one of the side allies off the main road. Killian knocked on the side entrance of Cecilia's Stones only for it to open up moments later.
"Oh good, you're here. I've just closed the blinds and put up the sign. Come in, come in." Killian followed the older woman and namesake of the town jewelry store, glad to find the place completely empty as promised. He exhaled the breath he'd been holding and followed Cecelia to the case she led him towards. She pulled out a black box from beneath the counter and opened it to show him the ring he'd had specially designed for Emma.
It appeared to line up brilliantly with his specifications: a large yellow diamond wreathed with smaller white ones on a white gold band. Killian originally wanted to buy a larger stone, but Cecelia insisted Emma would only find stress from anything more ostentatious. As it was, she'd had to custom order the central diamond since she didn't usually carry this size. Killian eventually conceded the point, especially when he considered how unruly a diamond that size would be for a doctor.
"And the message?" Killian asked as Cecelia pulled the ring out to show him the inscription.
"'My Life and My Love' just like you wanted." Killian nodded, taking the ring in hand and wondering at how something so small would be the sign of their commitment. His feelings for Emma felt so gargantuan but this tiny band with a couple of precious gems was supposedly enough to remind her and him of their ties to each other.
"You already bought her a house, Killian." Killian's eyes flashed up to the woman who was smiling at him with amusement.
"How did you know what I was thinking?" Cecelia took the ring back, packaging it up again as she placed it in a bag for him to take home. He'd already paid her in full months ago, but still she included a receipt.
"Honey, most of my business is for men trying to express their love. Every once in a while I get one like you who doesn't feel like a beautiful piece is enough. It's that look in your eyes that tells me you and Emma will make it. Not every couple has that same amount of love, but the ones that do, they're in it for the long haul." Killian couldn't help the grin that came at her words. He said as much to Emma and everyone who would listen all the time after all.
"I'm not entirely convinced I shouldn't buy her an island or something." Cecelia laughed and shook her head.
"Emma Swan has no need for an island, honey. She's got you, and that's all that girl ever wanted." Killian knew that to be true, but still the reminder filled him with pride and relief. It also made the already present ache to return to her side that much stronger, and with a quick goodbye, and fast movements back to his car, Killian made another, smaller trip to be with his Emma once more.
…..
Later that night, with the last of the packing behind them, Emma and Killian decided to walk from their house down the beach to watch the sunset. It was far cooler outside now than it had been their graduation night years ago, but Emma didn't care, feeling perfectly comfortable since her hand held Killian's.
"If your objective was to lure me out here for a repeat performance of the chapter, Swan… well then I am all too willing to indulge you." Emma laughed, shaking her head before handing him the diary she carried with her. It was wrapped up in newspaper and Killian looked at it with a bit of confusion.
"I thought it might be fun for me to give you a gift this time." Killian smiled at her thoughtfulness, taking the book from her to unwrap it and see her diary.
"Is this what I think it is, love?" Emma smirked.
"If you're thinking it's one of the diaries I never let you read even though you asked me once or twice what I wrote in there, then yes it is." Killian's fingers traced the cover with reverence before he looked back up at her.
"Why, love?" Emma smiled, loving the simple question.
"Because I love you, and I always have. You've been showing me what you remember, it only seems fair for you to get my less literarily inclined version." Killian moved forward, pulling her in for a kiss that was fierce and passionate, effectively stealing Emma's breath away. She moved against him, her hands coming up to run through the hair at the back of his neck and for a moment, she completely forgot her plan. When he pulled back she remembered though.
"We can get to that part later, but I think you should read the first entry." Killian shook his head and then looked over to a large boulder a little further up the beach. They'd sat here plenty of times as kids and Killian helped her up gently to sit down and then came to sit behind her, pulling her close so her back rested against his chest.
"I think I'd like for you to read it, love." Emma started to say that she couldn't do that, but he insisted and eventually she caved. She opened to the first page as Killian moved her hair over her shoulder and pressed a kiss at the spot where her shirt collar ended. It sent a happy hum off inside of her and as Killian wrapped his arms tightly around her Emma began to read.
'Dear Diary,
He loves me! Killian Jones loves me and I have never been so happy in my whole life!
Maybe I should start from the beginning. Graduation was today, and all of us seniors stood up and walked across the stage to get our diplomas. I was sick to my stomach thinking about it and all the changes it would bring, but Killian was there, trying to make it better at every turn.
We muddled through the party that my parents and Liam threw for us after the ceremony (there was cake so it was automatically a pretty good time), but the best part came when we walked down to the beach together. I was so nervous, because I decided I was going to tell him. Tonight was the night, but just as I was about to, he kissed me. Killian kissed me! And when I asked him why like an idiot, he smiled at me, the one he does when he's feeling a little shy, and he told me he loves me, that he always has ever since we first met.
Oh, also I was right. Killian is an excellent kisser – not that I really have anything to go off of but still. He makes me feel like the whole world is right there in my hand and like I can do anything. If this is what it's like kissing him, I can't wait to get to sex.'
Killian let out a cross between a grunt and a groan and Emma laughed lightly at his response. She'd known this part was coming, because she always had a very active imagination when it came to Killian, but his reaction was even better than expected.
"Do you want me to continue?" Killian nodded so Emma read the last few lines.
'Maybe it sounds crazy, but I've always felt like Killian was the person I am meant to be with, and tonight showed me that my dream can come true. I'm his, forever.'
"Are you, love?" Killian asked, snuggling closer to Emma and she nodded.
"Yes, Killian. I'm yours." Emma squeaked out a surprised sound as Killian hopped up and off the boulder, before pulling her into his arms. "Killian?"
"We're going to answer your youthful inquiries, love, and I'm going to prove to you that sex is even better than just our kisses." Pure heat shot through Emma at the promise and now she couldn't wait to get home.
….
"Killian!" He couldn't help but grin at the sound of his name tumbling passed Emma's lips when she was in the throws of passion. He was addicted to it, and over the past few weeks since they'd finally surrendered to the pull between them, Killian brought forth more of those cries from her than he could even count. Tonight would be no different.
"Aye, love?" He pulled back from her breast where his mouth had been focusing its attentions only for her to groan.
"You can't just tease me all night." Killian nipped at her and she jumped slightly.
"Teasing is such a strong word, love." Emma rolled her eyes but moaned again as his hand moved back down to her sex, his thumb swirling against her clit. He'd already made her come like this once, but there was nothing to say he couldn't do it again with a little patience.
"What else do you call driving me crazy like this without giving me what I want?" Killian pretended to consider while adding one finger and then another into her waiting heat. Emma arched towards him seeking more.
"I call it evidence." Emma looked at him through her thick lashes trying to make sense of him while being overwhelmed with his onslaught of attentions. He took the opportunity to kiss further down her body, opening her thighs wider apart to look at her.
"Evidence of what?" Killian kissed the inside of her thigh and she bucked towards him slightly again.
"Think love." Killian said before setting his mouth on her, and he knew his demand would be a near impossible one for her. Emma always lost herself when he took her like this, and it drove him mad with lust each and every time. He could feel her rising higher and higher with the pleasure of his mouth on her, swirling and tasting but when she was about to fall into her climax he pulled back.
"Wait, what? Killian!" He chuckled at the aggravation in her voice and then she answered him finally. "You're still making this all about my diary, but we both know I'm not questioning any more. The sex is fantastic! Happy?" Killian growled his approval of her words.
"And you're mine, don't forget that part." Emma nodded.
"Yes I'm yours, just like your mine. But if you don't -," Killian ignored the beginning of her empty threat and made good on her wanting with just the right amount of pressure and attention to her clit to send Emma spiraling off the edge.
"You were saying?" Killian asked when he'd come to kiss her mouth again and Emma groaned before pushing him over onto his back and coming to straddle him.
"The cocky, self-assured thing is really hot most of the time. But not right now."
Killian wanted to respond and ask her more about what she found particularly attractive, but then he was distracted by Emma's hand on his cock. Emma successfully turned the tables on him and he fell victim to the same kind of teasing – for that was exactly what it was – that he'd subjected her to. It was near torture to feel so much bliss only for her to then pull away, both with her hand and then her mouth, but when she came up over him again he couldn't help but find her alarmingly sexy as she posed her own question.
"Did I make my point clear?" Emma asked, patiently awaiting his answer. Killian nodded vigorously.
"You did, love. I'll make sure to keep it in mind from here on out." Emma shook her head as she lined up with him.
"Why do I have a feeling that this had the opposite effect of what I wanted?" Probably because he considered her actions and words a challenge Killian was now only too happy to rise to next time he had her in this bed.
"I couldn't possibly guess, Swan." And then he surprised her and pulled her down on him, prying a groan from both of them. The banter was behind them now, with so much desire and want coursing between them, but eventually they returned to their debate a while later once they were both spent, sated, and holding each other.
"Maybe it wouldn't be terrible if we did that again," Emma whispered against Killian's chest and he laughed, at her words before dropping a kiss to her forehead.
"Keep talking like that and it's likely to go to my head, love." Emma laughed against him and as Killian held her in his arms he could feel her falling into sleep. Where Emma led, Killian would always follow, but just before he did, he thought of the ring he had hidden under a loose floorboard in this room and grinned. Soon enough he'd be asking Emma that all too important question, and when he did, she was going to say yes. Of that one truth, Killian was certain.
Post-Note: So there it is, chapter 7 of 'To See You This Way' is complete. I had the pleasure of plotting out some more chapters to come, and am so excited to keep going on this story's journey. I hope you will all continue to join me, and that you have a lovely rest of your Sunday. Until next time!