FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
Mulder had been released from the hospital, and was left to contemplate his eventful past week in a quiet apartment. He couldn't figure out how everything had gone so wrong so quickly. Scully had called only once to make sure he was settled at home okay after his release, but she wasn't really present for that brisk conversation. It was almost like she was just a doctor checking up on her patient.
He restlessly stared at his TV screen and pondered on the recent events that occurred. Mulder knew that he had to approach the Scully situation delicately. He had been observing her for almost 2 months now, and he thought he had seen every side to this complicated woman, but he was wrong. He honestly didn't want to force her to come to terms with her feelings before she was ready, because he knew that would lead to her running and never looking back. He had found some solace in the fact that she actually called to check in on him.
He didn't know much about her past relationships, as he never pressured her to talk about them. What he did know, was that he himself was the closest to get to her in a recent while. Mulder smiled at this fact, thinking that once Dana Scully opened herself up to you, it was a beautiful experience.
He analyzed everything he had gathered from her over their time together to figure out how to play his next move. Fox Mulder was not a patient man, but he had to be in relation to Dana Scully. He had gathered that she was very skeptical about anyone that she invited to experience her on a personal level, and if you were granted that permission, you should hold onto it in any way that you can. He had also noticed that she can close herself right back up almost at twice the speed that she opened herself up in the first place.
He sighed and was at a loss as to how to proceed in his current predicament. She had asked for space, and that he had granted her, but he didn't know just how much space was too much to permanently lose her from his life. That was simply not an option.
Mulder was brought out of his musings of Scully by the incessant ringing of his phone.
"Mulder."
"Mulder, it's Bianca. You know, your publisher who you've been ignoring for the last week." She said with direct annoyance.
"I'm not ignoring you, I've just been...busy."
"Well I hope you've been busy approving the final artwork for the book. It's set to release in three weeks and we need all the final edits, plus your dedication if you have one."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll finish it tomorrow and send it over." Mulder let out a heavy sigh. "I've got nothing better to do anyway."
"Whatever slump you're in, you need to get over it. You haven't even given me the first chapter of the second book of this series. What's going on?" She asked, with a tinge of concern in her voice.
"Let's just say I've hit a tiny road bump with my inspirations. Look, I gotta go, lots of work to do. I'll email you when I'm done."
He disconnected the call before she could ask any more questions. Bianca had been his publisher since his career took off 8 years ago, and had become a friend. He knew she would pry into what had him so far off his game, and she wouldn't be happy about it. She was, after all, the one who suggested that he make his rule to never get too close to his muses.
As Mulder pulled out his computer and began to approve all the final edits of his book, the most brilliant idea popped into his head. He knew exactly how he was going to get through to Dana Scully.
SAN DIEGO, CA
Scully had been in San Diego for the rest of her week, and her mother was planning to come and visit with her and Tara for the weekend, then fly back home with her on Sunday. She had touched base with the team working the case when she first got back to town, and was told they had a huge break. The suspect was arrested the next day, and the missing girl that was taken was found alive. Despite the relief she felt from the solving of the case, she was almost disappointed that she wouldn't have work to throw herself into to escape her own thoughts.
Tara could tell that something was amiss when she returned, because when she asked about Mulder, Scully brushed off the subject and changed topics. She didn't want to intrude on what she could tell was obviously a personal matter, so she would wait for Maggie Scully to do so this weekend.
"We should get going to pick up mom from the airport, fight the traffic a little." Tara announced.
"What? Oh, yeah, fine. Do you need any help getting the baby in the car?" Scully answered, not fully engaging in the conversation.
"Yeah, you can just grab the diaper bag for me by the door. I was thinking we would go out to dinner tonight on our way home? It'll be good for you to get out..." Tara's voice trailed off.
Scully had not left the house much since she returned. Tara had suggested many cliche tourist attractions for her to partake in, but she never accepted any of the offers. She mostly kept to herself and slumped around the house. Whenever Tara asked, she would just say she was enjoying her time off, so she never pried further.
"Sure, fine. Let me go change before we go." She solemnly made her exit to her room.
Scully needed to momentarily escape to grasp the last piece of solitude she was going to be able to enjoy. She knew that her mom visiting was more a suggestion on Tara's part, to hopefully break her from whatever funk she was in. She composed herself and let out a heavy sigh, knowing everything was going to come pouring out of her at some point in the next few days. Despite how old she was and how hard she tried, she could never truly hide herself from her mother.
They had picked up Maggie from the airport, and enjoyed a relatively quiet dinner. Scully wasn't so much the conversationalist during the evening, so Tara and her mother mostly carried out the dinner discussions. She could tell her mother's interrogation was coming by the glances she received across the table. She tried to muster a smile and an occasional comment, but her heart just wasn't in it.
They returned back to Tara's house to settle in for an early evening. It took absolutely no time at all for her mother to gesture for her to sit next to her on the couch so she could begin her questioning. Scully figured she better get comfortable.
"Dana, is everything okay? You seem a little distant." Maggie asked, concerned.
"I'm fine, mom." Scully answered quickly. Too quickly for her mother's liking, causing her to receive the raised eyebrow look she knew too well.
"Dana, I don't know what's going on, and Tara hasn't told me much, but I haven't seen you this distraught, maybe ever. Something is obviously wrong."
Scully let out an exasperated sigh, she knew there was no escape from this. She couldn't wallow in her own feelings anymore, despite how much she may have wanted to.
"Mom, it's nothing, really. I - I met a guy recently. He's, different, than guys I've dated before. I don't know, things moved rather quickly, and I guess, it wasn't what I thought it was initially." She managed to stammer out.
"It wasn't what you thought it was, or wasn't what you were hoping for?"
"It was more than I could hope for." Scully said in a small whisper just under her breath. She closed her eyes to try to gain her composure before she continued. "I guess we just, fell into things too quickly and it didn't turn out the way that I thought. That I'm used to."
"You mean, you didn't automatically run away from him?" She asked peering at her daughter over the edge of her tea cup.
"Oh, I ran. But I've never felt this horrible about my decision. I'm so used to detaching myself from the situation before it can cause me any hurt, which is I guess what I did in this instance. I've only known him for a short time, and I didn't imagine it would be this hard to fall into the pattern that I've become oh so accustomed to."
"What made this man different?" Maggie asked with genuine interest in her voice. She had never seen her daughter so shaken up before, especially over a guy, and wanted to know just who had managed to break down her daughter's walls.
Scully smiled to herself. "I was, different when I was with him. I'm so used to having to be Dr. Dana Scully, serious professional, that I forgot who I am outside of my work persona. I guess I even carried it over into the small personal life that I had. He, he just challenged me in a way that was exhilarating, and fun. I don't remember a time that I've ever felt so carefree." She paused, a shadow of fear slowly crept over her face. "That's what scared me. I got lost in this person that I didn't recognize, and that's who he started to fall for. It's like I was living an alternate life and it's that person that he was interested in. That's not the real me, it's only when I'm with him. I can't - I don't think I can be that person all the time, and it wouldn't be fair to him." She finished, fighting back the tears that were attempting to escape her eyes.
Maggie wanted to reach out and grab her daughter, pull her into her lap for comfort like she used to when she was a little girl. She hadn't seen her daughter so vulnerable and lost as to a solution before. That's when she knew exactly what to do to break her from her reverie.
"Dana, have I ever told you about when your father and I first met?"
"I've heard about your first date a million times, mom. What does this have to do with-?" She closed her mouth in response to the look her mother gave her.
"Our first date, yes. But not our first meeting. See, your father was always much the impassive man you knew too well. He didn't always share his emotions, and had a hard time letting others see what feelings were passing through him." She paused, watching her daughter absorb the familiarity that washed over her. She was, after all, her father's daughter in this respect. "Well, when we first met, I made him work for me. He asked me out, as serious as he was, and I told him no, several times. He then courted me for two weeks, and in those two weeks I was introduced to a man that few people had the pleasure to experience. He bought me small gifts, and threw me cheesy lines. He opened himself up to me, and let me see this ulterior side to him. He said that I brought out the best in him, and that's the person he hoped he could always be, for me. As cliche as that was, it was the most intimate thing we've ever shared." She smiled to herself and looked up to see the tears falling from Scully's face that matched her own.
They both sat in a comfortable silence in memory of the husband and father so recently taken from them. Maggie grabbed Scully's hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Honey, all I'm asking is, was it such a bad thing to let him see this side of you?"
Scully thought for a moment before responding, scared of her own answer. "No, it wasn't. He made me feel alive again. I hadn't realized that I was just going through daily motions, but not really living. I'm just, terrified. I've never felt like this before, and these unfamiliar sentiments are what is making me want to run screaming."
"Do you think that he won't accept every side of you?" Maggie asked cautiously. She had never met the man, and had hardly anything to work from to reassure her daughter. She had to just play everything carefully, and keep Scully talking until she came to her own conclusion.
"He's definitely seen every side of me. He, uh, well I guess he met me as Dr. Scully, at Quantico..." Her voice trailed off, thoughts forming in her head. "He met me as Dana 'Ice Queen' Scully and still pursued me. He was interested before, and just brought out the other person in me. He - he fell for both sides of me. Oh, god. I'm such an idiot." Scully exclaimed, more so to herself than in response to her mother. She buried her face in her hands as she mentally evaluated just how wrong she had been.
Maggie smiled as she had struck just the right chord to make the melody of realization play in her daughter's mind.
"Well then, I can't tell you what to do, Dana, but I hope that you give this man another chance. From what I've heard, he makes you happy, and I approve of anyone that is able to do so. I've also heard he's quite handsome." Maggie said as a smirk appeared on her face and her eyes gleamed at her daughter.
"Mom! I'm not discussing him with you anymore, and stop talking to Tara." Scully said in a mock embarrassment. She sobered, and let a small smile touch her lips. "Thank you. I needed to talk about it, despite how much I didn't want to. I don't think I would have made the connections without being forced to dwell in my thoughts." She teased lightly and kissed her mother on the cheek, making her way upstairs to escape to her room.
Scully had an important phone call to make, she just hoped too much space wasn't created. As she paced around the room, dialing the familiar number, she began to lose confidence. She didn't know how understanding he would be, given their current situation and her lack of enthusiasm to fix it. Her heart dropped and she felt the sorrow flood through her as she heard the message play back in her ears.
The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. If you feel you've reach this recording in error, please hang up, and try your call again.
FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
Once Mulder had stumbled upon his inspiration to get through to Scully, he had disconnected everything in his apartment to maintain this perseverance and crack down on writing his second book of the series. He was in such a writing flow that he couldn't break from this thought process. It was also a nice change from sulking in his own concerns about the situation, and he needed a break from letting his mind wander too far. He spent the entire evening and most of the next few days alternating between writing and sleep. It wasn't really until the Sunday night that he realized he had completely gone off the grid from everything, and everyone.
He had accomplished writing a good majority of his second book over the weekend, and had a solid start to a draft to give to his publisher. Mulder had finally decided to join the real world again and break out of the fantasy world that he produced in his mind.
He reconnected everything, and finally checked his email. He had several from Bianca, since he forgot to send in his final edits on Friday like he had promised, and a few from the Gunmen checking in on him. He was more surprised that they didn't make their way over to see if he was still alive. He was instantly saddened by the lack of communication from Scully. Mulder knew that he shouldn't have expected it, but was almost disappointed that there wasn't even another attempt to check in on him.
Despite the doubt that was creeping through him, he continued on with his plan to break the space that she had created between them. Their initial meeting had been fueled by mystery and intrigue from the puzzles that he challenged for her to solve, and this would be no different.
Just as he finalized and sent everything off to his publisher, he jumped at the sound of his phone ringing. He had forgotten just how disconnected he had become over the weekend.
"Yeah, Mulder." He said hurriedly, fumbling with the phone.
"Mulder...It, it's me. Scully..." She responded in a cautious whisper.
There was a heavy silence that filled the air, as he didn't quite know what to respond. He hadn't expected to hear from her, and honestly couldn't believe that he was.
"Hello?" She said breaking the stillness, worry filling her voice.
"Yeah, uh, sorry. I - I wasn't expecting to hear from you." He said as passive as he could. He didn't want to give away how excited he was to talk to her, and wanted more to gage where she stood on their current relationship, or lack thereof.
"Oh. I tried calling this weekend, but the number said it was disconnected. I, um, just thought I'd try again once I got home. I just wanted to see how you were doing." He could almost hear a sadness to her voice, but didn't want to make a hopeful assumption.
"I'm doing great. I actually got a lot of work done this weekend with so much free time on my hands." He said excitedly.
"That's good. Sounds like you needed the time alone then." She scoffed almost bitterly at the chipper tone in his voice. She wasn't really hoping that he would be as broken down about their time apart as she was, but she hadn't expected him to be so happy about it.
"I guess so, it's been rather constructive. How was your time off?" He asked in an innocent voice. He could tell that she wasn't happy about him being so productive with his time off, and knew he had her just where he wanted her for his plan to work.
"It was fine. I have to go though, I was just checking in. I'll talk to you later, if you're not too busy. Goodbye, Mulder." She hung up before he could answer, and was instantly irritated. Damn him for handling this better than she was.
He smiled to himself as he heard the annoyance in her voice, that was the stubborn woman he was infatuated with. He couldn't wait to have his plan play out, and watch her smile again because of him.
THREE WEEKS LATER
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
It had been almost a month since she had heard from Mulder, and had realized that she was the only one to blame for their distance. She had called him when she returned from her time off in San Diego, but he didn't seem too interested to talk with her. Of course, that could have been because she was instantly turned off by the conversation upon hearing how well he was doing during their time apart.
Dana Katherine Scully was a stubborn and prideful woman, and didn't want to express to him just how hurt she had been by their separation, so she distanced herself further.
She started back to work that following Monday and threw herself into her coursework. She did so well on the active case in California, that she had been asked to assist on a current case right here in D.C., that way she didn't have to interrupt her teachings. She was happy to have the distractions, so that her distraught feelings from her time apart from Mulder didn't seem so blatantly obvious.
As she made her way home after a long week of wrapping up the current case, and grading midterms, she found a package sitting on her doorstep. She furrowed her brow as to what it could be, since she hadn't ordered anything, and no one had mentioned for her to look out for something coming in the mail.
She settled herself inside and got comfortable for the evening, leaving the package momentarily unopened and forgotten on the coffee table. When she finally made her way back to her couch with a cup of tea, she turned on an old movie and curled her feet under her.
She looked down at the package sitting on the table in front of her, and was instantly intrigued as to what it was. There was no return address, and just her name had been typed on the front of the oddly shaped envelope, so she couldn't recognize the handwriting. There was also no stamp or address on the envelope, she noticed, so it must have been dropped off personally. That thought made her feel slightly uneasy, given the Duane Barry ordeal, with him watching her for so long unnoticed. She shook those thoughts from her mind, and cautiously picked up the package.
When she opened it, she let a small smile touch her lips. It was a finished copy of Mulder's newest book. She ran her fingers gently over the front cover and found some reassurance that she hadn't completely ruined their relationship. Wishful thinking would say that this was his way of telling her he missed her, but she knew that was too much to hope for.
She opened the front cover and turned the first page, because she could tell there was something wedged between the book. A small card and what looked like a ticket fell out onto her lap. She began to open the small card, but the outside note caught her eye.
Read the dedication first.
She flipped to the next page where she found the dedication, and a small tear escaped her eye as she read the words that stared back at her.
S,
I found my truth in you.
I hope you find your truth amongst the stars.
M
She brushed the tear away with her hand, and reread the inscription. She didn't know what the direct meaning was, but she knew that if it was Mulder, it was a puzzle for her to solve. She smiled and reveled in how familiar this felt, and how much she truly missed it. She then opened the card and finished reading his personalized note.
You finally have your own copy, so you don't have to steal other people's. Enjoy 'dissecting' my message, and I hope to see you tomorrow.
The smile on Scully's face spread to a full grin as she read his words. She rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself at his cheesy attempt at humor, and picked up the ticket to read the details. It was for an exclusive, special book release for the newest novel. When she read the details, she was confused as it stated that 50 lucky fans would win access. She couldn't imagine Mulder revealing who he was to such avid fans, but knew he would be there if he was expecting to see her.
This was the first time Scully felt such a lightness flow through her and knew she couldn't wait to see what tomorrow brought.
BOOK RELEASE
Scully made her way to the popular bookstore that the book release was being held at, and felt anxious to see Mulder again. She was excited and nervous, since she hadn't talked to him in almost a month, and knew she had some major apologizing to do. She found some relief in how sincere Mulder's gift that she received yesterday was, and hoped that he wasn't going to hold her silence and distance against her.
When she arrived inside, she made her way through the lingering crowd to get a better view of the setup. She could see that towards the front of the store, there was a stack of the new novel, and a giant cardboard poster of the cover. She could also see a chair positioned next to it, and read the sign that said there was to be a reading by a close confidant of M.F. Luder.
She scanned the room, but couldn't see anyone that she recognized. She noticed that the back of the bookstore had been dimmed slightly to bring the focus to where the action was in the front. Just as she was about to turn her attention to the speaker that came out on the floor, a sign above the back section caught her eye.
It read, "A writer is a world trapped in a person," and was printed on an overlay of an image of stars in the night sky. When her gaze travelled just below the poster, she noticed a man hanging back in the shadows, and smiled at the familiar figure.
Luckily for Scully, she wasn't very tall and was able to hide amongst the crowd to make her way to the back of the store. She crept towards him, and observed him from afar. She smiled at herself upon realizing that he hadn't seen her make her entrance, noticing that he seemed to be looking around for her. She escaped from the crowd and was able to sneak behind a bookcase that came up just behind where Mulder was standing.
"You know, I once heard that writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public." She spoke softly as she approached from behind him to stand at his side.
"Funny, coming from someone who works in a field where it's always acceptable for her patients to get naked to see her." He joked back, they both smiled to themselves at the familiar banter, though neither making eye contact with each other yet.
"You have a good turnout here, I'm sure all these fans are going crazy to read the newest book."
"Yeah, I actually don't usually come to my own book releases. You know, the whole tall, dark and mysterious thing, but I have a date tonight." He said taking a sideways glance at her reaction. He noticed that her face instantly fell, and his plan was failing fast. This wasn't going as smoothly as he had hoped and cursed himself for not making it more obvious. He should have known that there was a cloud of doubt hanging over their current status, as he himself didn't really know where they stood, but he knew he needed to let her know exactly how he felt. He nudged her with his shoulder lightly, "Well that is, if she accepts my offer."
She shot her head up to face him, and a tiny smile curved at her lips. She had been doubting where their relationship was, or even if it was at all anymore, and knew that it falling so off course was her doing. She didn't expect Mulder to give her another chance, and came here this evening just hoping to explain things to him for some closure. If he still wanted to see her, that would have been the ultimate added bonus.
"I thought, I don't know, that you were upset with me." She said in a small voice.
"I wasn't upset with you, Scully. I was upset with the situation and the fact that I couldn't really do anything to fix it. You asked for space, and I wanted to give you that so you could figure out whatever you needed to, even if that meant walking away from me." He answered solemnly.
"Oh, Mulder. I shouldn't have walked away though, I was such an idiot." She bowed her head, and let out a heavy sigh, plowing through her thoughts before she lost all confidence. "The truth is, this scared me. Whatever we have, or had. I've never felt this strongly for someone before, and I honestly didn't know how to handle it. I am such a different person when I'm with you, almost unrecognizable for me, and I didn't think it was fair to you if I couldn't always be that person."
"No, Scully..." He interrupted, closing the space that separated them and pulling her into an embrace. She placed her hands on his chest and closed her eyes.
"Mulder, please - I need to finish this." She felt him nod in understanding. Keeping her gaze staring at his chest to avoid eye contact, she continued. "I thought that that's the person you wanted to be with, the person that you were interested in. I had it in my head that you would walk away the minute that you met the real me - the closed off, impersonal me that most people meet. So I walked away first, before I could let you close enough to hurt me. But that plan failed, and by distancing myself from you, I ended up hurting myself. I'm so sorry, Mulder. I understand if this isn't what you want anymore, or if I assumed too much and this wasn't really what you wanted in the first place, or if -" Her stuttering was stopped by his lips capturing hers in a soft kiss.
"If you don't know how much I care for you, I'm definitely doing something wrong. I thought dedicating my book to you, having the main character based on you, and flying cross country to see you would imply something, but you're really making me work for it, Scully." He teased, smiling down at her, and heard her let out a small chuckle.
"When you put it like that, it makes me sound so - stubborn." She responded with a grimace on her face.
"Oh, definitely stubborn." He said as he kissed the tip of her nose. "But it's one of the things I adore about you. Just like I love to observe you switch demeanors depending on the situation at hand. It fascinates me, and always keeps me guessing. I also love how you keep me on my game, I've had to really try here, Scully. It's been a while since I've had to dabble in the full Mulder Charm." He winked at her and placed another small kiss on her lips.
She chuckled and let herself fully relax into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist. "So, does that mean I get to see more of this Mulder Charm you seem to think so highly of?" She questioned as her eyebrow began to raise and a smirk appeared on her lips.
"Oh yeah, I've got big plans for you." He wagged his eyebrows.
"Mulder, I really am sorry for how I acted. I just need you to know that. But I'm glad that we're back to this point, I - I'm looking forward to wherever this relationship goes." She said in almost a shy whisper.
"It's okay, I care too much about you to have just let you walk away without a fight." He lifted her chin up and planted a kiss that expressed every emotion passing between them. There were no longer any misunderstandings as to what they meant to one another. Their truths were revealed in this intimacy that they shared. He broke away and looked down at his redheaded, complex muse who turned his world upside down in the best way possible, and smiled.
"Besides, I wasn't going to let you get too far. I still have two more books to write."