A/N: Thanks for the reviews! –glomps- Sorry for the SUPER late update, Happy Belated Valentine's (like REALLYYY belated)!
Amongst the pink rubble and ripped hearts, Belphegor noticed something that extremely (see what I did there, Ryohei?) stood out –a single white book, the Varia's daily diary.
"Ushishishi~"
The Varia's Daily Diary
Entry 3:
Valentino Day
14th March
.
Ushishishi, hello, peasant. You've heard of that day where peasants confess to more attractive peasants, right? Valentino... Versace? Something like that. The prince doesn't really care.
It's supposed to happen on the 14th of February. The prince knows this because he is a genius, and not because he cares.
However, a certain peacock decided that this celebration would be a great way to help the Varia bond.
It all started this morning.
"Gather round, children~!", the she-male called, waving his hands together.
"Say that again and I'll kill you", Boss glared, "Trash."
"Ohohoho, sorry Bossu~!"
Boss somehow got even MORE irritated and had to use all his willpower to stop himself from stabbing the peacock with his butter knife.
"Anyhoo, the reason as to why I've called you all here is…."
"VALENTINE'S DAY!"
No response.
The prince heard froggy mumble something like, "I knew it had to be something like that…"
"Trash…"
"VOIII! WHAT THE HELL?"
"You wasted Bossu's time!"
"Ushishishi~"
As you can tell, we all had the same reaction. Mostly.
"Mou! You guys never like my ideas!", the peacock pouted.
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR IDEAS ARE ALWAYS STUPID!", Sharkie yelled, as usual.
"For the first time, long-haired commander's got a point."
"Non, non!", Luss said, shaking a finger, "This celebration has a strong point! It'll help us all bond and get to know each other~! Ehe..."
"I'm leaving before I kill you."
And with that, Boss took his leave, followed by a cursing Sharkie.
The lightning idiot tried to leave too, but Luss grabbed onto his collar and nearly choked him.
"Shhhh!", the feminine man held a finger to his lips, "Now that they're gone, I have the REAL topic to discuss."
At this, we all raised our eyebrows.
Technically, just Levi.
You can't see the prince's gorgeous eyes and froggy's emotionless anyway.
"You see, I want to plan something completely lovey-dovey for Bossu and Squ-chan!", Luss whisper-squealed.
This time, Levi face-planted, the prince ushishishi-ed and froggy remained the same.
"W-w-why would you want to do something like that?", the lightning idiot shout-whispered.
"BECAUSE!", Luss started, "They're in LOVE!"
"And what would make you think that Bossu is gay?"
"EVERYTHING!"
That time, the peacock really DID shout.
But for some reason, we didn't hear a "SHUT THE FUCK UP, TRASH!" or a "VOIIII!"
All we heard were moans. And grunts.
Luss' face went extremely red, "Ehehehe! See, see? They're at it again~!"
"Ushishishi, do you mean what I think you mean?"
"They're making love~!", the peacock put on a dreamy face.
I let out a big frown, "That wasn't what the prince was thinking at all…"
"Disgusting", was all froggy said.
"Don't you see it?", Luss began, "They've been together for who-knows-how-long, they're always together at night ANDDDDD they're completely S and M!"
The lightning idiot chocked on his own spit and looked like he'd lost all reason for living.
"The only problem is that they won't admit their feelings for each other…", he pouted, "Which is where we come in!"
"We'll throw them a surprise Valentine's party!"
"Valentine's Day has passed already", froggy said, bored as ever.
Luss pouted, "I know… But I just got the idea today, so it's perfectly fine!"
"Ushishishi, sounds fun~"
"You sound like a pervert, Bel-senpai."
"Shut up", the prince said, throwing knives at the stupid-looking frog.
"Hehehe~!", Luss giggled, "So it's settled! I'll call it 'Operation: Get Squ-chan and Bossu together with a super lovey-dovey Valentine's Day surprise party'!"
"OGSABTWSLDVDSP for short."
And that was when it all started.
We hung pink ribbons, streamers, banners, balloons, plastic hearts and pretty much every other kind of decoration your peasantly mind can think of. The Varia lounge was completely transformed into some teenage girl's fantasy world.
Levi said he was completely against the whole thing, but it's probably because he's in love with Boss.
"Okies, I think we're done~!", Luss announced, clasping his hands together.
The peacock inspected the whole area and smiled creepily to himself, "They'll love it~"
"Shishishi, they'll love it, all right."
"Squ-chan, Bossu~ Come down quick!", he called.
We stood there awkwardly, waiting for a response –other than muffled moans.
"VOIIII! WHAT THE HELL IS IT THIS TIME?"
"Something utterly important~!", Luss could hardly contain his squeal, "It'll benefit both you AND Bossu!"
"Fucking trash… This better be good…"
In a couple of minutes, Boss and Sharkie were down, both in suspiciously messy renditions of their uniforms. Which of course made the gay lord squeal his feminine heart out.
"VOIIII! Quit doing that!", commander yelled, covering his ears. Now he knows how we feel.
"Ehe~", Luss giggled, "Take a look around you. Do you notice anything different?"
At this, both of them snapped to attention and looked around the room. The two looked more and more horrified with each passing moment.
Even when they saw the banner.
Especially when they saw the banner.
A certain banner that a certain peacock made which read: 'SQU AND BOSSU – HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! HOPE YOU HAVE FUN TONIGHT.'
The innuendo there is just pathetic.
Boss clenched his fists and whipped out his X-guns.
Sharkie unsheathed his sword.
"What exactly are you trying to say, trash?"
"Voi, 'the hell is this?"
"Ehehehe~ Don't you like it?"
"What's there to like?", froggy added helpfully.
"Mou!", Luss pouted, "I'm just trying to get both of them to express their feelings…"
"WHAT THE FUCK?", the two of them shouted in unison.
"W-what?", the peacock shouted back at them, "It's pretty clear that the two of you have the hots for each other! I mean, come ON! The two of you are always together, you're always-"
Boss stopped Luss' fangirling with a bullet to his head.
"KYAAAAAAAHH!", Luss flew to the other side of the room, miraculously still alive.
You can guess what happened next. The whole room turned into a war zone. It wasn't exactly fair, having two very angry people versus a very disappointed peacock.
"This is pretty funny", froggy mused, watching the fight.
"You're a sick, sick person."
"So are you, senpai. So are you."
End of Entry 3. Tell me who you think should write the next entry! Sorry for the super long hiatus!
-Plastic Petals.