A/N: Hello! This was originally in my story 'Girl Put Your Records On' under the title 'I kissed a Girl'. Hannah xxx
It was Sunday morning, the day after Jack's party, and it was early, barely just six o'clock, darkness still blanketing the outside winter scene, but Ianto Jones was awake. Despite the volume of alcohol he had consumed the evening before, the young man felt alive and refreshed without the faintest hint of a hangover, and was already partaking in his Sunday rituals. Whilst most of the nation was still sound asleep, he'd already eaten breakfast, showered, shaved, dressed and was now sat down in the sitting room attempting to complete a crossword puzzle from the Saturday paper but his mind wasn't entirely focused on it.
It had been fairly easy for his natural alarm clock to settle back into its old routine after his lapse the day before, partially because of the young Welshman's eagerness to be alert and ready and prepared for the day ahead, but mostly on this particular occasion because he had something troubling him from the evenings events, something that had prevented him from a full night's rest… well it was either that or the alcohol he mused.
But of course the predicament was that, due to said consumption of endless cocktails and eventually shots… and goodness knows what had been in that last mixture… his memories of the night before weren't exactly the best. It was most unlike Ianto to get into a situation such as last night, after which all traces of your evening were gone, but with it being a year on from Lisa's rejection of his proposal he had needed this sense of escapism. There were no actual events from the party that he could pin point, other than his arrival (in which he had been in a sober state) and the point at which Owen had accidentally spilt beer on him (which was mostly prompted by the slightly stale smell of Brains on his jacket). He remembered enjoying himself rather a lot more than he was expecting to, but he also remembered feeling highly out of his comfort zone, he remembered talking with Tosh's friend Jack…but he could barely remember seeing Tosh at all.
He sighed slightly to himself, and resolved to wait until Toshiko was awake and quiz her then about what exactly had gone on at this part, until then he decided to simply try and finish this puzzle and perhaps read a few chapters of 'The God of Small Things'. Quarter to seven, the face on his watch read. He sighed once more; it was going to be a good few hours until Miss Sato was awake.
It was mid-morning now, well almost the afternoon really, it was getting on for twelve o'clock. The sun that had been trying for the last few hours to break through the thick layer of dull clouds had now succeeded, casting a bright, deceptively warm glow across the winter sky. Beams of light burst through the blinds in her bedroom, and it was this that finally aroused Toshiko from her deep slumber. She sat up quickly, stretching as she went and rapidly regretted the movement; unlike her roommate Toshiko was most certainly paying the price for having an enjoyable evening the night before. With an almighty groan out loud, she slumped back down into the mattress, cuddling the duvet to her stomach to fight away the nausea and drawing her pillow up over her head to block out the ringing in her ears. Today was not going to be fun.
Ianto put down the book that he had become absorbed in on the coffee table as he heard what sounded like a faint groan echoing from the direction of Tosh's room. I guess she's up then, he chuckled to himself and got up to get her a glass of water, two ibuprofen tablets and a cup of his specialty blend coffee – the ultimate hang-over cure.
Ten minutes later, Toshiko heard a knocking at her door.
"Go away… I'm asleep".
He chuckled to himself from the outside of the door, and decided to head on in anyway.
"Ianto Jones, I told you I'm sleeping!" He heard her voice mumble from under the depths of her duvet.
"Oh really" He said, setting the tray bearing her anti-hangover kit to one side and tickling the dainty pair of feet exposed at the end of the bed; Toshiko squirmed in response.
"Fine, fine; I'm awake, you can stop that now!" She grumbled.
"Well, now that you're 'awake' perhaps you could remove the pillow from your head so I can talk to you properly?" Toshiko replied something inaudible from under her covers. "I come bearing gifts…" Ianto persuaded.
Rather hesitantly, Tosh removed the pillow from her head placing it behind her, and slowly sat up, clutching her head as she did so. She gladly accepted the tray of goodness which Ianto was now passing towards her, and quickly took the two painkillers with the cool and refreshing water, after which she gulped down an eager mouthful of Ianto's special blend coffee.
"Oh you absolute angel!" She exclaimed with a happy sigh as the hot liquid ran down her throat. "You have no idea how much I needed this, thank you!"
"You're welcome" Ianto smiled. "I take it that someone isn't feeling too dapper after last night's events…?"
Tosh rolled her eyes in response, "Oh that is the understatement of the Century. My head feels like it's filled with cotton wool, I can't shake the ringing from my ears and my stomach has never felt quite this unsettled in my whole life. It's worth it though."
"Ah you had a good time then?" Ianto asked, hoping that he would shortly be able to subtly bring up exactly what might have happened at the party.
"Yeah I had a great night! Jack's parties are always hilarious and completely outrageous fun, but this one was especially brilliant because…" She trailed off, flushing a little.
"Because?" The Welshman asked, raising an eyebrow to urge her to continue.
"Well… Owen and I sort of, well umm yeah" She stumbled through, with the largest grin on her face that she had worn in a long while.
"About bloody time!" Ianto replied with an expert eye roll and laugh.
"Oh be quiet" She replied, the smile yet to fade, lurching her arm out to mock slap her sarcastic friend. "Oh ah… movement, not good" She finished, clutching her stomach and slowly settling back against the headboard.
"And that's why you shouldn't hit people…" Ianto grinned.
"Don't make me do it again!"
"Now, come on I know that's not much of a threat as you'll only come off worst from it anyway."
"I hate it that you're always right" She fought back a grin. "Are you honestly not feeling anything after last night, you'd had an awful lot!"
Ianto shrugged, "No, I'm absolutely fine… physically. Slight problem though, I can't really remember anything" He admitted.
The young woman started laughing in response, "Oh you really were quite the hilarious drunk, kept doing impressions of Rob Brydon and trying to get everyone to play twister and then… but you really don't remember anything, I mean, nothing at all?" She asked.
"Oh gosh, twister? I barely even remember seeing you there Tosh, let alone anything that happened, why did I do anything embarrassing? Even more embarrassing than twister?"
Toshiko giggled, "well that depends…"
"Depends? Depends on what?"
"Well, whether you think it's embarrassing or not… whether you think it's weird"
"Oh lord, what, just tell me, what did I do?"
Ianto, who was so used to being the composed one, the one with the upper hand, the one with greater integrity in situations such as these was beginning to grow just a little uncomfortable, and just a little impatient. He didn't make a habit of getting drunk a) because he felt it wasn't necessary to have an enjoyable time, and b) because alcohol always leads to trouble or embarrassment, and he was starting to think that this predicament was providing a firm set of evidence as to why he should always uphold these rules.
"Well, I mean, just so you know I don't think it's weird, as long as you're fine with it I really couldn't care less, I mean to be honest you go to one of Jack's parties expecting this sort of thing… I just didn't expect it to be you to… but anyway it really isn't a big deal…"
"Would you just tell me already, please!" The young Welshman cut her off, pleading.
"Ok, well… you kissed Jack." She said, quite bluntly and straight to the point.
"I what?"
"You kissed Jack, you made out, tongue wrestled, you snogged! Well, I suppose technically it was Jack that kissed you…"
"Hang on a second, you're telling me that Jack – and I'm assuming you mean your Jack, though I'd love for you to tell me that it was another Jack, short for Jacqueline maybe – kissed at the party?"
"Yes, and no, not Jacqueline. Jack, American Jack, Captain Jack."
"Really?"
"Yes, and you seemed to be rather enjoying yourself…"
"Hang on, you're telling me I kissed another guy, and I liked it?" He questioned with disbelief.
And then it hit him, memories started flashing back, fragments of last night pouting back into his conscious mind. An introduction, him flirting with this other man (Ianto added this as another reason not to over consume alcohol again; he didn't do flirting), being poured endless and endless drinks, being asked that fatal question… 'have you ever kissed a man Jones, Ianto Jones?... do you want to?' he heard himself reply… 'No… That would depend on the man…'. He remembered wanting Jack to kiss him then, remembered the older man's charm having won him over in an instant, that glorious coat, the strangely enticing aroma surrounding him… that gorgeous face. He wanted it. And then it happened, and he really had enjoyed it, most unexpectedly and most uncharacteristically he had enjoyed that spontaneous kiss with a member of the same sex, and he had no idea whatsoever to make of it all.
He gasped a little and pulled his hand up to his mouth, "Oh god I remember, he was… we were… and it was… oh dear I…" He mumbled, flushing out of both embarrassment and uncertainty.
"Hey, you know its ok, like I said it only matters if you want it to matter. If you don't think it's weird, then it's fine."
"But I do think it's weird! It does bother me!" He protested, brow knitting together into a frown.
"Oh, well I mean, really Ianto it's no big deal, it was just a kiss, I mean no one else there even batted an eye lid…" Tosh said, trying to be reassuring, but was ultimately a little surprised at his reaction. She was the first to admit that Ianto Jones was a very private man, even those closest to him never could quite tell what he was thinking or how he was feeling, but she had always assumed that he was a little more comfortable with himself than to let something like this bother him.
"No no, it's not the fact that I kissed a man at a party that's weird… I mean yes, it's a little surprising to say the least and quite possibly the last thing I expected you to tell me I'd done, but it would have been fine if I could say that that's all it was, just a drunken kiss… that it meant nothing and could be easily swept under the carpet, but the truth is…"
"The truth is?"
"The truth is… I liked it" He whispered. "I liked Jack, I'm not even sure I can blame that on the alcohol, and though everything is still a bit hazy I can definitely remember feeling… oh what on earth does that mean then!" He sighed, flushing a little again.
"Well, it doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to mean. Just because you think you might have like one man doesn't necessarily make you gay, you don't have to define it as anything. You don't have to label your feelings; just speaking from Jack's point of view for a minute, I know that he hates labels and categories. He sort of doesn't see gender, just people and to be honest so many people could live much happier lives if they followed his example. There's no need to worry about what happened, just accept that you had a great evening with someone you liked, and if that's where this ends then just cherish the somewhat fuzzy memory, but if…"
"But if?"
"But if you like, I could always give you his phone number" She said wiggling her sleepy eyebrows at a Ianto level of perfection.
The young Welshman simply rolled his eyes in response.
Three or so hours later and Tosh was feeling a lot better, in fact she was out of her bedroom and now sat in the sitting room finishing of her late lunch and catching up on the IT Crowd, whilst Ianto was now taking his own turn at camping out in the bedroom. For the last twenty minutes or so, he had been sat on the corner of his bed, rolling his mobile around in his hand, crumpling and uncrumpling the sheet of paper with Tosh's neat lettering containing the vital data required for the text that Ianto was taking so long to deliberate sending. He looked down to his mobile and opened up a new text message only to close the window again with a sigh.
He had absolutely no idea what he was doing, the young man was entirely out of his depths and that scared the living day lights out of him. He hardly knew this Jack, and what he did know of him was learnt in a somewhat drunken state, the only things he really knew for certain about him was his job, the fact that he was friends with Tosh and the fact that he was bloody beautiful. No matter what Tosh said to him, whilst it had been a nice ideal, putting it into practice was going to be very tricky indeed. Especially considering that he had no idea what he was hoping to gain from sending this text, or if he wanted to gain anything at all, or what he would do once he had gained it… or of course how the recipient reacted, after all Tosh had said that this was a semi-regular occurrence, maybe he had already been forgotten the Welshman mused.
Oh for goodness sake! He shook himself internally. I am not a 13 year old school girl, I can handle this, after all it's only polite to follow up from something like this even if nothing else should happen, isn't it? He thought.
Hey Jack, it's Ianto. He typed and sent. A kiss was deleted and re-added to the end of the text about 12 times before he finally decided on the 'less' (or in this case nothing) approach.
Ianto who? x He received back, simultaneously disconcerted by the lack of recognition and secretly pleased by the kiss.
How many Ianto's do you know? x He texted back, hoping that Jack was just fooling around.
Just one, but that one hasn't got my number… though I wish he did…. x
Tosh gave it to me, hope that's ok? x
Of course it's ok, did you not read the last text Jones, Ianto Jones? x
Ianto smiled, finally reassured that Jack both knew who he was talking to and was pleased to be doing so.
I did, but it never hurts to check Captain x
Indeed it does not, so what can I do for you? ;) x
Just to… say hello x
Hello? x
Yes, so ummm…. x
So? x
Right… well… how are you? x
Great, you? x
Yeah, ok. So…x
So? :L x Clearly subtlety was getting him nowhere, either that or Jack was deliberately playing games with him and Ianto decided that even based upon the little he knew of that man that it was most likely the latter.
You aren't going to make this any easier for me, are you? x
No! x
I enjoyed you're party last night x Ianto deliberated in sending this reply for about ten minutes, still highly uncertain as to what he hoped to gain by the end of this conversation and uncertain as to how he felt about pretty much anything right now. He hoped Jack would understand that by party he meant… well, he was sure he'd understand.
I enjoyed it too x
I'd never done it before x
*Been to a costume party I mean… x He quickly added on to the end.
I know, you told me. I'm glad that mine was your first x
Me too… Ianto mused, and quickly snapped himself out of it – were they talking about the costume party or about the kiss? He barely even knew this man and yet he felt as if he had known him as long as Toshiko, yes he was attractive and charming and knew how to work his way under your skin, but Ianto really didn't know anything about him which was a fact he was starting to think he'd like to change even if it ended up being on just a friendship level.
You doing much this afternoon? x
Nah not really, fancy a coffee in town, about four? x
Yeah why not, providing I get to pick the café, I'm very particular about my coffee…. x
I bet you are! Ok just tell me where and I'll meet you x
Ianto read that last text and found his mouth to be curling up at the corners, smiling to himself in his bedroom. There was no denying the fact that he was yet to get over the whole unusualness and newness of this situation, or that he had no idea what this meeting (date?) would entail or what he wanted from it; but it would be an outright lie to say that he wasn't really rather excited.