Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story.

Last time:

"Why are you sat next to her? She might eat you, or worse, squish you." She laughs. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, begging the tears to not fall. I can cry later. Come on, Isabella. You can hold on for a while longer. His smooth chuckle is enough to make the tears fall. Of course, why would he want to talk to me? I'm nothing but a joke to him.

"Don't worry, Tee. I'm coming." He stands and I can see his shoes as he turns, now facing me. "I'll see you around." He whispers, too low for Tanya to hear. I nod and secretly wipe my face with the back of my hand.

"Come on, Edward." She whines and he sighs. I hear their footsteps as they leave that park.

Well, that was confusing.

Chapter five.

Now:

The rain begins to fall too hard and I call Renee, not sure if Alice would even be in Port Angeles still or if she would give me a ride. I had been horrible to her. I wouldn't be surprised if she never spoke to me again. To be honest, I wouldn't blame her.

Renee doesn't ask what happened when I climb into the car, my face blotchy and my clothes completely drenched through. She does, however, tell me that she is always here if I need someone to talk to. I nod to let her know I hear her and continue shivering, turning the heat up full blast.

We get home around seven in the evening. Emmett is already in the living room, sleeping on the couch. I am both surprised and shocked to see him there. Usually, his Saturday nights are spent with his friends, getting drunk. But then again, Edward and Tanya were in the park with me a little over an hour ago.

"Come, sweetheart, I'll get you some food and you need to get out of these wet clothes." I nod and follow after her, letting her lead me up the stairs and into the bathroom. She tells me to take a warm shower and she will meet me in the kitchen with a hot tea and something to eat. With a kiss to my forehead, she leaves me in the bathroom.

After stripping my sopping clothes off and climbing into the shower, it all truly hits me. The Edward Cullen spent his time with me, for no reason. Although he wasn't friendly, he wasn't horrible either. What was up with him? I can't help but feel this is all some kind of sick joke him and his friends have put together, that they are trying to lull me into a false sense of security just to hurt me more.

The thing is, would I let them do that to me? It nice to have someone to talk to, nice to have someone say nice things to you. It's only human to want people to like you. But I don't want to be liked. Well, I don't think I do, anyway. I have always been happy in my little bubble; the only person able to hurt you is yourself.

When Alice barged her way into my life, my bubble popped. Things people said started to affect me in a way they shouldn't. I started to listen to what people were saying, and I took it all to heart. Every single thing affected me in ways I hadn't before.

I know that I shouldn't listen to anything anyone says. The good old saying of sticks and stones and all, but the words do hurt. They tear away at you every day. Things people have said to me years ago, still float around my head, making it spin. The looks, the words. I would take a beating any day, just to stop the words.

Bruises and cuts on the skin heal. Sure, scars get left, but they are nothing compared to the scars and bruises on my heart, on my soul. You can cover a bruise, a little make-up, or a piece of clothing. But the scars inside, you can't get away from.

You hear on the news about people taking their own lives because things get to be too much for them. See pictures everywhere about a young person, another name added to the grave stones. You see people crying into the camera, begging for a reason as to why they have died. Most of the time, the reason is themselves.

Groups of teenagers push and push someone until they snap. And when they do snap, those people ask why it happened, when it was their doing all along. They say how great the person was and how they will miss them. When really, it's just their guilt eating away at them.

I have thought about taking my life before. It was a fleeting thought, but it scared the crap out of me. I know I would never be able to do, nor want to do it, no matter how bad my life is, but I did have the thought.

The first thing I did was call Alice. I told her about my stupid, stupid thought and cried down the phone to her. She cried with me, telling me lies about how beautiful I am and how she couldn't live without me. The next time I saw her in person, she grabbed me and refused to leave me side until I convinced her that I wasn't going to do anything stupid.

The water finally starts to get cold and I get out, towelling off and put on a big hoodie and some big track pants. I throw my hair up, not bothering with what I look like. I go down the stairs and, as promised, Renee is waiting for me with sweet tea and some toast.

I take it gratefully and sip the tea, nibbling on the toast in between sips. Renee watchs me closely, probably wondering what happened. It has calmed down a lot, but when she pulled up, my face was red and blotchy from crying and my eyes were swollen to twice their size.

"Sweetie, you will tell me if there is anything serious going on with you. Right?" I drag my eyes away from my now empty cup and look at Renee. Her hair is up in a simple bun and her big, brown eyes are glassy. Her bottom lip is in between her teeth, a habit she picked up from me. I nod and smile at her, hoping to stop her worrying.

"I'm fine, mom. Really." I hoped to sound cheery, but my voice breaks on my lie. Tears fall out of her eyes and tumbled down her cheeks, making me feel bad.

"I feel like I've failed with you.,"she wails and I stand, pulling her in for a hug. She grips me back fiercely and I bury my head in her shoulder, smiling slightly at warmth the hug offers. She cries on my shoulder, begging me to tell her what happened. I just whisper soothing words in her ear, hoping to calm her down.

After a few minutes, she pulls back and gives me a watery smile, looking so vulnerable.

"I love you. Okay? I love so much." I nod and give her my reply of 'I love you too'. When she is sure that I am, indeed, not going to tell what's wrong, she goes into the living room and wakes Emmett up, telling him to go to bed. I can hear some their muted conversation through the walls. He tells her he's going to work out for a while before bed and she agrees, telling him to pump up for the game tomorrow morning.

With a sigh, I push off from the wall where I am leaning and say goodnight to Renee. She gives her reply before putting on her television channel, getting engrossed in some vampire series. My mother sure is a teenage girl sometimes. I roll my eyes and go up the stairs, walking slowly.

I go to my bedroom and fall on to the bed, looking up at the white ceiling. Noticing the flashing of light on the ceiling, I look over to my bedside table and see my phone flashing with several texts and missed calls.

Looking through them, I notice they are all from Alice since I walked out of the shop. I read the text first - she is begging me to call her and says how sorry she is. My heart clenches. Oh, Alice, you're better off without me. When all the texts have been read, I call the voice mail on my phone.

"You have five new messages.," the robotic voice informs me.

"Isabella? Please call me back. I didn't mean anything I said and I am so sorry.," Alice's voice sobs through the phone at me. "Please?" The message cuts off with her last sob. I try to swallow the lump in my throat and delete the message, moving onto the next one.

All of the messages are basically the same, Alice begging me to call her and the sound of crying. By the end of them, I'm crying myself. Why do I have to hurt everyone I love? I am such a horrible person.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know, Renee's running her fingers through my hair, asking me to wake up. I frown at the clock when I see it's only nine in the morning, but then I remember today is Emmett's big game.

I get up slowly, taking my time to dress and do my hair. I decided not to shower, seeing as I had one last night. It's not like we are going anywhere important, anyway. After a small spray of perfume, I go down to the kitchen and see both Charlie and Renee eating breakfast and talking quietly.

"Good morning.," I mutter, walking to the fridge and taking out a bottle of water.

"Good morning, hon,." Renee replies, handing me an apple. Trust her to know I was going to skip breakfast. I take it with a roll of my eyes and bite into it, the juices running into my mouth.

"Did you sleep well?" Charlie asks around a bagel. I nod, knowing they are just waiting for me now to leave.

"Can we leave now?" Emmett asks, irritated, as he storms into the kitchen. Charlie and Renee nod and get up, clearing away the mess from breakfast. I eat my apple slowly, savoring the sweet taste. I can see Emmett glaring at me from the corner of my eye but I just ignore him, eating away.

Charlie and Emmett leave and I follow behind them, letting Renee lock up when she leaves. Charlie gets in the driver's side and Emmett slides into the back. I go to climb in shot-gun, but Charlie tells me to get in the back. With a sigh, I clamber in next to Emmett, thankful the middle seat is between us.

Renee slips in and grabs Charlie's hand after he has started the car. The ride to the football field isn't that long. They play every game at our school, so everyone knows where to go. Well, it's not like Forks is all that big, anyway.

When we arrive in the parking lot, it seems the whole of Forks is here to watch the big game. Today, the Spartans are against the Reservation's Wolves. Our team wins every time they play against each other, but the Wolves just don't give up.

We all file out the car and Emmett runs ahead to get ready. Renee and Charlie walk to the field hand-in-hand, stopping to talk to other couples along the way. I trail behind, my head down and one ear bud in. The loud tones of Kings Of Leon are almost soothing to me as I walk.

We take our seats as the cheerleaders start dancing in the middle of the field. I watch in disgust as they dance in little-to-nothing clothing. It isn't like I hate cheerleaders or anything; I just think these girls, yes girls, - not women, cheapen it by dancing like that. The way they're moving their bodies, it's like they should be at a club, not Fork's' only football field.

Finally, the game starts. Our team runs out onto the field and everyone erupts into cheers and whistles. I put my hood up and the other ear bud in, turning it up loud. The Wolves follow, looking intimidating, but also intimated when they look at our team.

It is a close game, but out team wins again with six more points than the other team. I can practically see the pride radiating off of Charlie and Renee as they hurry to meet Emmett on the field. I roll my eyes and stay seated, tapping my foot to the beat of the music in my ears. Closing my eyes, I lean back and just try and relax.

After about ten minutes, I feel something tapping me on my shoulder and I open my eyes, looking up to find Alice standing there with tears in her eyes. Her lips are moving and her brows are furrowed. A lump jumps to my throat, thinking about her messages last night and seeing her like this now.

I pull the buds from my ears and her eyes go to them, a confused look covering her face.

"Hey.," I whisper, putting my iPod away.

"Hey," she replies and sits down next to me, looking at the ground in front of us. "I thought you were ignoring me."

"What? Why?" I stutter out, following her lead and looking to the floor. The air around us is awkward, something I never thought could happen with Alice.

"Because I just stood there talking to you for ten minutes and you didn't respond.,"she whines, her voice shaky. I feel so bad right now. I want to take her in my arms and comfort her, but I don't think she would want me to do that. I really am a horrible, horrible, person.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.," I admit, my voice thick.

"I know that." She pauses. "Now." The last word breaks on her lips and I see a tear slide down her cheek.

"I am so sorry, Mary Alice." I sigh, the prickle of tears in my eyes. "I over reacted and I shouldn't have. I just thought.…" She cuts me off before I have time to finish.

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so insensitive. God, I'm a horrible friend.," she cries and this time, I do take her in my arms. She clutches me back as she cries into my shoulder.

"You are not a horrible friend. You are the best friend anyone could ask for and I am lucky I had you as a friend.," I admit, a few tears falling down my cheeks.

"You still do,." she says, a tiny sniffle sound coming from her.

"Pardon?" She pulls away from me and wipes her face on a tissue she digs out her designer handbag. I thank her when she hands me one and I wipe my eyes.

"You still do have me as a friend, Isabella. I don't want us to fall out. You're the most beautiful, considerate, amazing and strong person I know and I want you to be my best friend again. So please, say you forgive me." Her voice is timid, yet strong at the same time.

"Alice, there is no reason for you too."

"Isabella. , say you forgive me,." she grits out. I want to laugh at her. She's like a puppy trying to be a lion. "Please. Please. Please. Please.," she whines. This time, I do laugh and she joins in with me.

"Okay, I forgive you. But, do you forgive me, too?" She nods and hugs me again. We both stand and she starts talking about everything and anything. I just nod and roll my eyes at her, smiling and laughing in all the right places. If it wasn't for the dry tears on both of our cheeks, nobody would have thought we ever fell out.

When we get to the field, Emmett is surrounded by all of his friends. They are all congratulating him on his amazing leading skills. I roll my eyes and keep walking.

"Hey, wait up!" We both turn and see Jasper running up to us, a smile on his face. He takes Alice into his arms and spins her around, placing kisses all over her face. She giggles and he lowers her to the ground again, finally kissing her lips. He's still in his football gear and covered in mud, but still manages to look like he walked out of a sports magazine.

"Hey, baby,." Alice coo's when they come up for air. I feel out of place, like I'm interrupting their moment. Maybe I should leave them to it.

"Hey, Isabella.," Jaspers calls, waving his hand in front of my face. I blink once and blush when he chuckles good heartedly.

"Hey. Great job on the game, by the way." He nods with a grin and puts his hand up for a hive-five. I roll my eyes but high-five him anyway.

"Oh, God. Jasper, don't touch it. You don't know what it's got,." Rosalie hisses, coming over with everyone following her. "Oh, wait! No-one would touch it for it to catch anything anyway." Everyone laughs, except Edward. I frown at him and he looks away, glaring at Rosalie and shaking his head.

"Rosalie, you're such a bitch.," he huffs and she nods, agreeing with him. Everyone looks at him like he has grown seven heads. To be honest, my face isn't much different from theirs.

"What's crawled up you ass, Dickward?" Yeah, what has gotten into him?

"Nothing.," he huffs and runs towards the changing room. Emmett and the rest of the guys follow him, chanting about showers and soap.

I can see Renee coming over her from the corner of my eye, and, apparently, so can Rosalie. She puts on a big smile and walks away, but not before glaring at me one last time.

After Alice and I say our goodbyes, I head back to the car with Renee. She tells me about how happy she is that Alice and I are talking again, and that she knew we would be good friends for a long time. I agree with her, knowing I won't be able to get rid of Alice for a long time now.

I get in the car and Charlie takes off. Emmett will be going to an after game party, as usual. Charlie talks about how amazing his boy was all the way home. How his boy stole the show and the only reason they won was because his boy is their captain. Renee does nothing but agree with him, saying how proud she is and how she has to cook her son a big meal.

I try not to take notice and think back to what happened on the field. Why did Edward say that to her? Everyone knows it, but they never say anything to her. I know he's not scared of her, but still. Technically, by saying that, he was standing up for me. Why would he want to do that? It could damage his reputation.

Sure, he spoke to me last night; but that was because his sister was upset with me, wasn't it? Of course it was. Why would he want to talk to me? Why would anyone want to talk to me?

Thank you all so much for your support with this story and all the lovely messages I get. Also, I now have a BETA. I want to thank them for doing this for me. So, thank you so much!

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Thanks for reading.

Twi-girl09

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