Gokudera picks up the phone Phoenix had given him, she had promised to call again soon but Gokudera's latest conversation with Reaper sent Gokudera's nerves over the edge. Gokudera pressed redial and holds the phone up to his ear.
"Come on...Come on...pick up."
"Hayato? Did something happen?"
Gokudera breaths out a quick sigh of relief at Phoenix's voice.
"No...Just Reaper messing with my head again."
"Are you sure you're not worried about me?"
"I'M NOT! I just... You're an ally and we can still use your knowledge about Reaper and..."
Gokudera hears a dog bark and Phoenix interrupts him.
"Hang on."
"Phoenix? What's wrong?" Gokudera listens to silence on the other end of the phone. "Phoenix!"
"Shut up will you. Jeez."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, my dog just gave me a false alarm."
"You have a dog?"
"Yep. Benny, he's a two year old Siberian Husky and the best guard dog ever."
Gokudera can hear dog tags jingling and a loud panting.
"Well obviously not if he just gave you a false alarm."
"Oi! Don't talk bad about my dog." Gokudera laughs and Phoenix joins him. "Oh and I thought I should tell you that Reaper has one of his men following each of you and I think he has three on Tsuna. And Reaper likes to...how to put this, spend time with his victims. Another idea I gave him...I am a horrible human being...I am going to hell..."
"Ha, you think I didn't already notice it? I took out the guy following me before taking Juudaime to Osaka. In the crowd, I was able to take out two of the men following him. There's still one asshole that got away. But oh please, don't get like that. Whatever kind of person you were, it doesn't matter anymore. You're regretting it now, aren't you?"
"Well..."
Gokudera drops down onto his couch.
"Well that's good enough in my book. I was the same not too long ago so...if you go to hell, then I'll see you there."
"At least we'll have good company while listing to the screams of the damned." Phoenix laughs. "You do know that you two aren't the only ones on his hit list right? Reapers after any person who has even the slightest connection with your family, and he won't care if they're kids or girls or...Tsuna's mother. He will take them and he will kill them. And if you had let me finish, I don't regret my past. I am who I am because of my past, no matter the scars, no matter the pain...I wouldn't change it for the world.
"Only an idiot wouldn't know that. I'm pretty sure the other guardians have already taken care of the ones threatening Juudaime's family and friends. And the one's following the guardians as well. I doubt they're still alive. And that's good." Gokudera smirks. "You've come to terms with your past, and that's a good thing. At least I know you're strong. Mentally as well as physically."
Gokudera hears Phoenix drop down onto something and sigh.
"I haven't really come to terms with it so much. Watching your family die...seeing your three year old brother be shot in the head...that's not something you can come to terms with. Not in a hundred million years. But I have accepted that there are something's that you can't change, and recently I have tried to look for the good in life. You are to blame for that. And I doubt that the men following your family are dead, injured yes...but not dead."
"I know what you mean." Gokudera looks to the keyboard he has but never plays. "It's just one of those things you can't forget..." He takes a deep breath. "And what-the fuck-ever. As long as they're not following Juudaime anymore. I haven't sensed anyone the whole day."
"This is going to seem insensitive and you can kill me for it if you like but...you got lucky with how your mother died. And if you are looking for a familiar face in the people following you, you won't find one. The same men will most defiantly not be following you. They failed Reaper so he probably has them tied to a chair waiting for bamboo to grow through their feet. Don't underestimate Reapers men, just because you don't sense them doesn't mean they are not there."
"No, I wouldn't kill you for saying it. I get it. I mean...I guess I did get luck with it. I didn't have to see her die right in front of me. But I just...I wish I could've known she was my mother before that. I wish she would've known I loved her...And tch, I know that! That's why I'm keeping an eye out for them!"
"You want to know the worst thing about that whole thing? I can't get their faces out of my head. I wonder if the Vongola could find out who killed them because God knows the O-Loughlin's know nothing! And I am sure that your mother knew how you felt, parents have a...intuition...about stuff like that. Mothers especially...fathers not so much. You know with your attitude you would fit in fine in Chicago, you talk loud as hell and you have the will power to back up whatever you say."
Gokudera gulps, so Reaper still hadn't told Phoenix the truth about what happened to her family.
"I-I'm sure Juudaime can find you. But Phoenix...don't ever change. You're free to hate whoever you want, but don't ever lose you reason for living. 'Kay? Hell you can make it your life decision to annoy the fuck outta me, as long as you don't do anything drastic. Hm...I've never been to Chicago before. Though I've been told the same by various New Yorkers and even people in Philly. I think I'm just the type to fit into major cities."
"New Yorkers talk tough but they ain't got nothing on those of us from the great city of Chicago. When we say we are going to do something you better believe we will do it. We'll kick your ass and then we'll go for pizza." Phoenix laughs and Gokudera can hear her dog bark. "And what's with that answer? You know something don't you. From what I've seen you hate annoying people and now you're basically giving me permission to annoy you. Why would I change, what would cause me to make a drastic decision? What aren't you telling me?"
"I'm not hiding anything from you Phoenix. I'm just saying that if you ever find out, to not chance. I know what it's like to find out who killed your family, or in my case, my mother, and it's not something just anyone can handle. That's all I meant."
"You gulped idiot. People don't gulp when they are being empathetic; they gulp when they are nervous, when they are hiding something. Now what the hell do you know about me family's murder? And why the hell would I not be able to handle finding out who killed them. I'll handle it fine; I'll take my knife and slowly skin them alive. Maybe I'll kill a couple of their loved ones and let them live with the image of their dead family in their heads for elven years."
"I was drinking something damn it! Can't a guy even fucking gulp without it sounding incriminating! I don't know anything, I already told you. But like I said before, revenge like that won't get you anywhere. Deal with the people who actually did do it. Don't involve innocent people. Though, I should really practice what I preach."
Gokudera can hear Phoenix stand up and begin to pace.
"In...innocent people! There is no such thing! Did you know that I have over thirty whipping scars on my back from one man? Or that I can't remember the week of my tenth birthday because my foster dad got drunk and decided to bash my head against the table five times? The only reason I am still alive is because someone from the system walked in. And why don't I believe you about the dri-Damn. I'm starting to not trust people again. Maybe Reaper was right; maybe I'm not cut out for the "good guy" thing."
"If I had known you back then, I would've..." Gokudera grinds his teeth. "Tch, it's no use thinking about the past. I just hope you took care of that bastard. No, you can be a 'good guy' if you want. You have potential. I mean, you're not exactly a horrible person. Though your jokes need a bit of work." Gokudera smirks. "You can hate me, if you want, but trust me when I tell you; revenge will not bring you peace."
"Which bastard? The smoker or the drunk? Or the abusive, or the freak, or the one with a junkie son who made me get his drugs? No, only one of them got what was coming to him. What about my jokes? Huh! I have been repressing emotions for years! You try joking around after that!" Phoenix goes quite fore as second. "Jerk" Gokudera laughs slightly. "Why would I hate you? You're just giving me advice. Advice I probably won't take but still...why does Reaper think you want in my pants?"
"Shit, I thought that the same guy did both. And motherfucker, there have been that many! Jesus woman, take better care of yourself. And uh...I don't know, maybe 'cause I'm a jerk? I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. As for the getting in your pants thing, THANK YOU! He just keeps bringing it up and I just don't fucking know why he thinks that way. Maybe he views our talking as flirting or some shit. WHICH I'M NOT! I'm just talking to you like a normal guy would. Unless you're supposedly flirting with me..."
"That's not even half the bad homes I've been in. I have only ever had one good home while in the system and they didn't like me so I got sent back. And I was a kid, how was I supposed to take care of myself when a two hundred something man comes at me and I weigh 90lb tops! You were raised a hit-man I wasn't. And I am not flirting with you!...I'm not even sure if I know who to flirt...never had to before...Although the over protectiveness you keep showing can be seen as flirting, I mean, you did call to make sure I was okay."
"Geez, I...I don't know what to say other than sorry. I'm awkward okay! And it's not flirting! You're a woman, I have to protect you!...Err...It's instinct, I mean. You know, that feeling men get? Gah! Whatever!"
Phoenix bursts out laughing.
"You say sorry and then yell 'I'm awkward!' Wow. Don't apologize I'm over it...mostly...Kinda...Okay so I'm not. Hard to forget when you can still feel the scars...And you have to protect me? Yeah okay, you just concentrate on protecting Tsuna, I'll be fine protecting myself. I did learn a few things about fighting in all those bad homes I went to. You know sometimes I want to strangle you!"
"You laugh when you say you wanna strangle me..." Gokudera laughs. "Man and I thought I was weird!"
"I am weird! Any girl who decides at the age of seven to be a professional killer is going to be a little off." The girl laughs. "So what? Weird and proud of it!"
Gokudera chuckles, Phoenix's laughter was contagious.
"I'm not any better! I was eight when I decided to become a hit-man."
"What a pair we are...no wonder Reaper thinks there's something going on."
Phoenix laughs and Gokudera feels his heart speed up.
"Why am I reacting like this?"
He wonders before replying.
"Heh, I have a feeling you like the fact that people ship us."
Gokudera gulps and wipes his sweaty palm on his leg.
"I neither like or dislike it. Frankly I don't care what Reaper does just as long as he stays away from me." Gokudera hears Phoenix get up and a dog bark. "Hey Hayato, I gotta go. Team meeting time. Call you tomorrow?"
"Uh...Yeah. Sure. Whatever."
"Cool."
Phoenix hung up and while Gokudera stared down at his phone thinking.
"Why is it so easy to be myself with her?"