It took Pauline nearly an hour to make it to Halt's cabin the snow was lite so it didn't slow her down, her mind did it weighed heavy on her. She hadn't confronted halt since she left him that blasted note and true she couldn't blame him if he shot her with his bow for knocking on his door. First she leaves him then she gets pregnant with his baby then she loses his baby and leaves him again... No she couldn't blame him at all. Her legs grew heavier as she drew closer to the trail that lead to his cabin. She could see the faint light at its end where his cabin stood. She took a deep breath and trudged on through the snow pulling as ,unchanged confidence as she could he had just left like it was nothing just gone on with his life like nothing had happened. She walked up onto the porch and knocked on the door curtly.
Halt looked up from his files he was sitting on his sofa with his feet propped up on the coffee table. He looked at he water clock on the mantle it was nearly 11 "who the devil" he muttered to himself standing he was indeed a little scruffier than normal and leaner perhaps a bit older looking now that he was in his thirties. He walked to the door and opened it. When he saw Pauline standing there he froze. Emotions started to whirl around him "what are you doing here?" He said a little more shortly and angrily than he realized. "Happy Yule to you too" she said just as shortly. He tried not to snap at her instead he stepped aside the door and let her in. She eyed him but entered, the warmth within the room washing over her. He tried to be polite and took her cloak hanging it on the hook by the door before moving away to stand back by the fire not looking at her. She looked at him he looked thin and now that she studied him he seemed to have aged a bit she had always been so short with him before she hadn't noticed his hair was still dark but there was something different in his features she sighed and set the basket on his kitchen table "I'm here because Lady Sandra sent me to bring you this seeing you now I see why she did... Are you trying to starve yourself?" She said. He tried not to snarl at her "I've been preoccupied..." He said shortly "she couldn't have sent an errand boy in the morning?" "Apparently not or I wouldn't be here now would I" she said just as shortly she sighed rubbing her temples "... It's obvious she wants us to talk..." She said. Halt shook his head "there is nothing to say Pauline all that needed to be said was said three years ago... In a letter... On my pillow" he added the last two bits grimly his face portraying his frustration.
His words bit into her but she deserved them she had her reasons for not wanting to say what she did to his face but he didn't know them. "Please?" She said "we have to work together whether we like it or not the least we can do is get this out of the way so we can at least do that." Halt stared at her hard he hated it but she was right "I am going to need something a lot stronger than coffee for this..." He said walking toward the back door. He opened it and walked into the yard toward the root cellar. Pauline had walked out onto the back porch and watched him it was a dark night with a full moon. Much like the night they had lost their daughter. She shivered and rubbed her arms at the thought as she looked up at the moon. Halts anger was bubbling in him he didn't want to talk to her but when he saw her standing on the porch looking up at the full moon he knew he had to. Some of his anger ebbed away he knew how bad it hurt her to lose their child it had hurt him too 'but then she left you' his subconscious pried at him. He nodded his head toward the door and she entered the house and tried to shake the memories from her mind. He poured them both a drink and handed it to her "this'll help" he said simply. His voice wasn't as cold as it had been before as he tried to remain calm. "Thank you" she said softly taking the cup from him. She sipped it lightly the drink was strong but it warmed her from the inside.
They went and sat down on opposite ends of the couch after their first drink. "I'll let you start then..." he said leaning back to listen to her. She eyed him then sighed and spoke the drink had scattered the bad thoughts away but had also effected her other train of thought. She finally started speaking after taking a moment to organize her thoughts "I am sorry for leaving you with nothing more than a letter... I was worried if I tried to tell you in person you wouldn't let me go." Halt scoffed into his cup as he took another deep sip of his drink. She could tell this was going to be a hard talk and took another drink of her own drink topping them off the strong liquor eating into them both now "Halt what happened between us was a mistake" she pleaded. Halt's anger flared again "it didn't seem much of a mistake when you sat right where you are now and asked me for it!" He stood and walked back to the fireplace trying to keep as calm as he could. "It was a mistake Halt I was young and stupid and in love! We should not have done it!" She said her voice starting to rise as she saw him getting frustrated "you got me pregnant we weren't even married you wouldn't even marry me with me 5 months pregnant! You just expected me to birth a child and quit my job and live here out of wedlock I never could have shown my face in Wensley again!" That was it Halt snapped "Last I checked it took two to achieve such a thing and I certainly didn't do anything you didn't consent to!... Not that any of that mattered seeing as our child is dead and never even got to take her first breath and you went right back to your bloody job right after! Last I checked you were showing your face just fine!" "Losing her killed me inside, Halt!" She said they were both furious with each other now. "And you think it didn't kill me! Having to bury my own daughter on the edge of the meadow with all the other old and dead! She never even got a chance to live!... Have you even been to see her?!" He said. "Of course I have! What he hell kind of question is that!? I was her mother!" Pauline said three years worth of pain and despair pouring into her words "don't you understand?! I didn't leave you because I didn't love you! I left you because I couldn't look at you everyday without thinking about her!" Pauline sobbed covering her mouth to muffle her sobbing she finally quit yelling and spoke between sobs "it broke my heart to leave you but I couldn't sit here day after day looking into your eyes pretending things were alright. One night bonded us together but one night also broke us apart. Every time I looked at you she was all I could think of... How cold and pale she looked... Then you left and when you came back you were so grim and short-" "You had left me with a note and nothing more I had just lost my child and the woman I loved I had lost the life together that we had been planning... I had lost everything of course I was bitter every time I looked at you all I could think of was that bloody letter..." He said finally calming himself as well all the pain of the past 3 years pouring out of him. "I'm sorry... I didn't have the best track record with trying to talk to you either" she said softly. He consented "that's true."
She stood and walked over to him perhaps it was the strong liquor or old memories bubbling to the surface but she reached out and touched his face he flinched slightly and she withdrew her hand "I know I'm in no position to ask for favors from you after what I did. But... But will you do something for me?" He looked at her curiously "will you come with me to see our daughter?" She asked. He studied her a moment "yes" he said softly his voice smooth and even again. She nodded "thank you."