Blaine's teeth grazed over Kurt's pulse and Kurt's hips bucked up. Suddenly Blaine was off him and Kurt whined at the loss of body heat. "Blaine." Kurt sat up.
"Kurt," He sat on the edge of Kurt's bed, one leg up so he could turn and face Kurt. "Did you decide what you want yet?"
Kurt opened his mouth and then let it close. "No."
Blaine nodded once. "Then no hips or kisses. I'm sorry I did that."
Kurt licked his lips. "So you're not going to kiss me at all?" Kurt's heart BEAT for Blaine's kisses, as lame and stupid as that sounded. When the college boy was around they were almost all he could think of. When Karofsky was harassing him, as he'd just began to do in earnest, they were all Kurt could think off. When he had to do that glee assignment about 'the future', they were all he could think of.
"Not unless you decide you want me too." Blaine said, but he was staring at Kurt's mouth. He ran his tongue over his lips again, watching the way Blaine's eyes followed the movement.
"Kiss me." Kurt ordered. "I want to know what I'd be missing."
"Kurt… you already know." Blaine said but he moved closer.
"I need a refresher." Kurt answered, encouraged by the look in Blaine's eye. "Kiss me."
And then their lips were together again and Blaine was leaning back, pulling Kurt on top of him. Blaine's strong legs lifted and folded, wrapping around Kurt's waist and setting butterflies off in the younger boy's chest. He hadn't had time to appreciate this position before, but now… his hips canted down and Blaine moaned. He couldn't move too much with Blaine hanging off him, but the little he could do Blaine didn't fight. Instead the man's kisses got fiercer, pulling Kurt harder against him.
Kurt's body felt too hot against Blaine's. Normally he wasn't one to complain about temperature, but this was just too extreme. He wanted something to alleviate the irritation, and backing away from Blaine wasn't an option. The man was too good with his mouth and Kurt wanted him too much. The want bubbled up in him, overflowing.
"Kurt…" Blaine whimpered as he pulled away from Kurt's mouth to start a trail of kisses up to Kurt's ear. Their hips were rocking together strongly now, the friction immobilizing all of Kurt's motor controls. He wanted clothes gone, but couldn't even begin to take his hands off Blaine to try.
Blaine and Kurt rocked together until the springs in their stomachs released and their pants were messy. Blaine gasped against the soft skin of Kurt's neck as he came. Kurt's fingers dug into Blaine's curls, pulling them all out of sorts.
"Blaine." Kurt whispered and his arms gave out, all of his weight falling gently onto Blaine and pinning him down.
Blaine wiggled a little to get comfortable and then pressed his lips to whatever part of Kurt was near his mouth. He felt so much calmer now, his head was clearer.
And he realized he really shouldn't have done that. He kissed Kurt one more time. "Did you pick something?"
Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's neck, clutching him tighter. "Why do I have to pick now?"
"You don't have to pick right this second, but before we do anything again. I… doing this without that kind of definition won't work for me, no matter how into you I am. I'll feel guilty every time, it's sort of coming on right now."
Kurt sighed and removed his face from Blaine's neck. "You should go then, if you regret me so much."
"I don't regret you." Blaine rolled his eyes. "I just… Kurt… you think of what we're doing as what exactly?"
Kurt blushed and pushed off Blaine completely, sitting up and squirming in his, no doubt uncomfortable, pants. "What do you mean?"
Blaine reached out and clasped Kurt's shoulder. "I mean, to you, are we having sex? Fooling around? Or what?"
Kurt blushed even more. He turned to look Blaine in the eye. "You don't think we're having sex?" His eyes were big and almost shocked. His pretty, pretty eyes.
"Kurt, don't think about me right now. Just answer the question. From your perspective, are we having sex or not?" Kurt nodded. "Thank you. Anyway, my point with all of this is that I DON'T want to just take that from you meaninglessly. I need you to understand what's happening and decide if you're okay with that, and I need you to tell me. I've offered you what I can, and now you need to tell me if you're comfortable having your firsts with a friend with benefits.
"I, in no way, regret you though. What we've done together, it makes me feel so good. I just don't want to continue, and risk feeling badly, if it's not something you're going to agree to. Do you understand?"
Kurt stared at him. "Why are you being considerate of me?" He seemed genuinely confused. "You could just take from me and you don't have to think about me at all. Why are you doing this to begin with? Nobody else thinks about what I want." The way that just rolled off Kurt's tongue without any thought made Blaine's heart constrict painfully.
"Kurt, I like you." He made sure he was looking Kurt in the eye as he said it. "I want to know you more. Can you just accept that I don't want you uncomfortable while that happens?"
Kurt took in a breath. "Okay."
They got cleaned up shortly after that, out of things to say to each other. Kurt spent longer than necessary in the bathroom looking at his body. He'd cleaned up and put his pajama pants on, but then he'd gotten caught by a flash of his face in the mirror. His lips looked swollen and there was a small red mark just at the juncture of his neck and shoulders. It would probably go away soon, judging by the amount of time it took the other marks to go away.
Kurt fingered the mark. It was a nice even red, a bit unlike his last bout of hickeys. Those had ended up looking a bit like hives before they finished healing. This one though, it looked like it would just bruise a little and then heal. Heat flashed through him as he thought of the reason the mark was there. He was struck with the desire to acquire another.
"Except Blaine wants an answer." Kurt slumped against the sink. He peered into the mirror, locking eyes with himself. What did he want?
Phantom hands roamed down his sides, Blaine's hands. A shiver went through him. Being with Blaine felt SO good.
But… Blaine did have a point. He'd been about romance his entire life, was he really okay having all his firsts with someone he wasn't in love with? The phantom hands slid over his ass.
Kurt thought of what he'd told Mercedes. Despite the conversation with Blaine, and how clear it had been that Blaine wouldn't have considered what they did sex, Kurt still did. He wasn't a virgin anymore.
"So it doesn't matter." Kurt said to himself in the mirror, but it felt bad. "Okay… so maybe if I just hold some things back." That felt better. His stomach relaxed. What things to hold back?
Kurt hit a road block. He'd never been comfortable looking up sex things, he didn't know all the different types of things that could happen. Maybe he should have that conversation with Blaine then, so he could better figure out his limits.
Kurt sighed and looked back to the hickey. Then he opened the bathroom door that lead to his bedroom. Blaine had said he'd come back, he should be waiting.