Chapter Eight - Pain and Pleasure

He knew he should have made his proposal more special, he had wanted to, but at that moment it had just seemed…right.

Leesia smiled, with a hint of a giggle and leaned over him to kiss his lips sweetly.

"Can I take that a yes?" he questioned with a teasing grin.

She pinched her lips briefly between her teeth and shock her head.

"No?" he gasped, shocked. He was completely taken aback. The way he raised his eyebrows and his mouth fell ajar, proved that to her. He held his expression, questioning her. He had not expected her to turn him down. "Why?" he asked in a defying, childlike tone.

She smiled at him, finding his confusion very endearing. "I love you." she told him quickly, to take away any doubt he may have had for her feelings towards him. "And I would love to marry you…" she paused looking thoughtful.

"But?" he prompted unsteadily, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer to that.

"I know my feelings towards you have not and will not alter, but you do not have such luxury as you have not yet remembered any of our time together when we were ascended. How can you be sure of us, when you can't remember how we met, or our first times, or anything of our first year together."

His stubborn pout was prominent. "There a fly in you logic."

"Fly?" she questioned, having never heard that particular phrase before.

"Never mind. My point is, what if I never remember?"

While sharing a Kel'No'Reem session with Teal'c weeks before he had managed to recall seeing Bra'tac and Rya'c enslaved while he was ascended. In doing so had saved their lives, but as far that was the only memory of his time with the Ancients. To start with it had given him a boost of hope that all his memories where still there and they would eventually come back to him, but as the time had dragged by with no more insights he had gotten very disheartened. Now, fearing that it was a once off that had only occurred due to the dire need for it and was unlikely to happen again, he had resided himself to accepting that that part of his life could always eluded him.

"I know all I need to know. I know you, I trust you and I love you." he said, repeating her own original argument back to her.

"And that is why you will remember." she told him confidently, kissing him on his forehead. "Have faith in yourself." she kissed his check. "and in us." she finally kissed his lips.

"Just give me a hint, a clue, something, anything to go on." he begged earnestly.

"Always so stubborn. You know I want to, but I-."

"Please." he added, quickly interrupting before she could refuse. "Just one little hint and I'll stop asking, I promise."

She sighed, looking down at him disapprovingly. His hopeful gaze weakening her resolve. How could she resist? She rolled her eyes at him and softly told him, "Malgena."

"Malgena?" he repeated excitedly.

"Yes." she nodded with a smile.

"Malgena…Malgena." he murmered, carefully rolling the word around his mind, testing its familiarity. "What is that?"

Cradling his cheek, she gently kissed him. "You tell me."

The word stabbed at him, there was something, flitting around in his memory, just out of his reach, but he couldn't place it. It sounded almost Spanish, but he couldn't think of a translation for it… In any language he knew.

With a sigh of frustration he eased himself upright, gently lowering his weight onto his wounded leg. He ignored the crutches lent up by the door and with a very slight limp he hobbled across the hallway to his den. Well former den, it was currently in the middle of being transformed into a nursery. The boxed books, files and artefacts and the indentations in the carpet from where the furniture had been were now all that remained to show its previous use. His den, his study…his sanctuary really. Whenever something troubled him this had been where he came to bury himself in work and forget about his problems. This was his place of solace and he had given it up so readily, without blinking an eye, for his child.

He began searching through the many boxes for one he had labelled 'dictionaries', hoping that particular box wasn't one that had been taken to his lab at the SGC.

"What are you doing?" Leesia asked with a hint of amusement, leaning against the doorframe.

Daniel found the box he was searching for and pulled it open. "Looking for the translation." he replied without looking up as he settled himself on the floor and began scattering the contents around him.

"It is late."

"Yes, it is." he muttered, barley registering that she had spoken, as he focused on the task at hand.

"Do you not wish to rest?"

"Uh huh."

She smiled with a small shake of her head. He was completely absorbed and she doubted he was even aware she was here, let alone what she had said, his answer was only a reflex response. One she had heard many times before. She loved his dedication, but couldn't let him carry on his search knowing it was futile.

"Daniel, you will not find Malgena here."

"Uh huh."

"There is no translation."

"Uh huh."

She waited a few seconds for her words to filter through to his determined mind. Saw the exact moment it clicked in. He paused. "…wait, what?" He questioned, finally looked up at her from the books.

She bit her lip to stop her grin from becoming mockingly too big. "There is no translation for Malgena." she repeated.

"So it's a name of something." he said knowingly, carefully studying her reaction. "What is it? A place? A person?"

She folded her arms pointedly across her chest and refused to answer. She debated reminding him that he had promised to stop asking questions if she gave him a 'hint', but decided against it. She had know that was a promise that was doomed to fail, with his inquisitive nature to stop seeking the answers would be an impossibility.

She lowered herself behind him, running her hands over his tight shoulders down his chest and hugged him. "You cannot force yourself to remember."

"If want to marry you before this baby is born I'm gonna have to."

"It is not a condition. I only wish for you to have peace of mind."

"I know, but I already do. I…" he paused, 'Malgena' niggled in his head. Slowly he turned to face her, realisation shining in his eyes. "I'm missing something important aren't I?"

Gently she caressed the worry lines off his forehead with the tip of her finger. "Daniel, you must stop asking such questions for I am not able to lie to you and I detest denying you anything. You must remember for yourself. You have the most amazing mind I have ever known. You need only have faith in yourself." as she spoke she stroked her hand down his face, cupped his chin and angled him gently so she could finally lower her lips to his.

He knotted his fingers through her hair and cradled the back of her neck, holding her closer to him, prolonging and deepening their kiss.

She loved how he kissed her. The feel of his lips and tongue waltz with hers, and with her hormones on a constant heightened state due to her pregnancy was all it took for her to want him so badly it made her ache deep down in the pit of her stomach.

She felt the corners of his lips turn up as he began pawing at his t-shirt, in her need to feel the tingles of their skin making contact with one another.

"I am sorry, but I need to feel you, immediately." she breathed, parting her lips briefly from his so she could pull his t-shirt over his head.

"That is nothing to apologise for." his breathing was quickly matching hers, showing her she was not the only one deep in desire. He welcomed the sight of her mirroring him, revealing her smooth, soft skin to his eyes. His hands followed the path of his sight, wanting to feel the warmth and softness of her skin against him and they moaned as the tingles absorbed into each of them.

"This pregnancy seems to have altered me into a quivering assembly of rampant hormones and I do not know how I can control them." she said as they stumbled back towards the bedroom, their lips and hands barley leaving each others skin.

"I noticed." Daniel said with a large smile. He was loving her overactive hormones. It had been too long.

"And I warned you that I might become addicted to you"

"I'm not complaining." he swallowed hard as her lips pushed lightly against his Adam's apple.

The warm glow of the three orange and pink setting suns, bounced beautiful colours off the shallow ripples of the calm sea. The air was fresh with the aroma of peace and tranquillity. The couple stood together side by side on the shoreline. The desperation of her silken voice slashed through the stillness.

"Ego mos asordo tua." Leesia said, firmly. She gripped tightly onto the front of his tan robes and looked up at him, pleadingly.

Daniel stubbornly, shock his head. "Haud!" but his tone softened when her expression turned to one of longing and fear. "Ego moris periclitatus tua…" he said as he traced his hand, opened palm, across her stomach, from one hip to the other. "…neque nostrum filia."

"Daniel, mai pertinax maritus, comdo subsisto!" she said desperately to him. Her eyes filling with tears, beseeching him.

"Ego nolo," he told her, his tone mournful and with a hint of anxiety. "autem ego volo repeto tua. Illud est promissio." he gave a small hopeful smile as he wiped away a tear that had started its journey down her soft cheek.

They pulled each other close, in a tight embrace. Throwing all their love, passion and longing for each other into that one innocent act. Their combined energies glowing as they transferred back and forth to one another making the warmth of the suns pale in comparison.

…

Daniel woke with a start. The images still fresh in his mind. He wondered if he had been dreaming. He didn't usually dream in Ancient and somehow it seemed far too…real.

He didn't want to wake her, she was sleeping so peacefully, with her body curled around her bump protectively, but he simply had to know.

He stretched his arm out and gently shock her, softly calling her name to rouse her from her slumber. She rolled towards him, keeping her eyes delicately closed and asked sleepily. "Is it time to go already?"

"No love," he whispered, glancing at his bedside clock. "It's still early."

"Are you all right?" she asked, peeking at him, through her heavy lids but the broad smile on his face told her that he was good.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." he said quickly. "I think I remembered something."

"Is it how I am carrying your child and therefore need my sleep?" she questioned with a grumble.

She was right. He shouldn't be waking her up like this. She needed to keep her strength up and the pregnancy was making it harder for her to get any decent amount of sleep as it was, without him taking more time from her. He was about to apologise when she suddenly met his pursed lips with her own. She smiled against his lips, silently whispering to him that she wasn't angry.

"What did you remember?" she asked him, the wariness still evident in her voice and he reprimanded himself once again for waking her. Damn his insistent curiosity. She settled herself back onto the pillow, and waited for his newest tale.

"I'm not sure, I might have been dreaming," he warned "but I think I remember something from when we were ascended."

Her eyes flashed open with excitement and she smiled broadly. "Tell me." she urged. All thought of sleep undoubtedly forgotten.

"Well, I didn't recognize where we were, but it had three suns and we were by the ocean."

She nodded, spurring him to continue. Her poorly contained excitement nearly made him forget his train of thought. "Uh, we were speaking ancient. You said…" he replayed her words in his head 'Ego mos asordo tua.' "…You wanted to help me do something, but you didn't say what…Um…" He closed his eyes in concentration.

She waited while he tried to translate in his head, but he could tell she was getting impatient. 'Haud. Ego moris periclitatus tua'. "…I wouldn't let you risk yourself…Neque nostrum filia; or our daughter?" he gapped at her open mouthed, before dropping his line of sight to her stomach. His hand reached for it. "… daughter?" he questioned, testing the way the word sounded. Yes, that felt right.

She beamed wider. "You were convinced we were having a girl."

"It was real?" Daniel asked, turning his attention back to her. His eyes were wide, questioning.

She nodded again, this time in agreement. He had been right, this was no dream. He had just recalled his first memory of their time together as ascended beings. He hoped there would be more.

"…You called me…'mai pertinax maritus'" he noticed her look away from him as he spoke. A blush coloured her cheeks, but she looked excited, or possibly hopeful. "…You said; Daniel, mai pertinax maritus, comdo subsisto. Comdo subsisto is; please stay. Mai is my or mine. Pertinax maritus, … maritus? I know that word. Maritus?…'" he absently ran his finger over his lower lip as he thought. Then its meaning dawned on him. His jaw dropped in shock and he stared at her. "Husband? You called me your husband… We were married before when we were ascended."

Her smile grew so wide on her face and even in the dim light he could see the twinkle of tears pooling. "You remembered." She chocked out. Stunning him as she threw herself into his arms. "I knew you would." She breathed into the hollow between his shoulder and neck as she pulled herself tighter to him. He carefully avoided putting weight on the mound that was getting more prominent between her hips, but he grazed his fingers across it, as he had in his memory.

"What was I doing?" he asked her. Reluctantly she pulled her head up so he could see her face. There were tears in her eyes, but she couldn't help but smile.

"It was just before you departed to Abydos. That was the last time I saw you, before..."

"Before I forgot you…I'm sorry." He stocked his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tears that had tracked down her face. He could imagine how hurtful it must be to be forgotten by the one you love. The next word he now had remember saying to her: 'Ego nolo, autem ego volo repeto tua. Illud est promissio.' mocked him.

"I promised you I'd come back." he said mournfully. "I'm so sorry."

"I do not, and have not ever, blamed you for what transpired. I am certain you had ever intention of returning. I realised how close you were to the Abydonians. You must have been left without a choice. All things worked themselves right in the end. Once we were again together, the journey became irrelevant." she smiled, as she began placing tender kisses across his collar bone.

"What is 'pertinax'?" he asked. It was the only thing he had not been able to translate. He had a vague idea, but wanted to confirm it.

She was careful to avoid his gaze, but he could feel that her lips had turned up at the corners against his skin. She was grinning. "Stubborn."

He gave a fleeting grin. He had seen that one coming. "Of course. So now I've remembered something from when we were ascended will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

"We are married already." she pointed out.

"Not according to the laws of this planet." he argued.

"Surly it only matters what is in our hearts."

"I would like it to be legal before the baby is born."

"The laws never used to bother you so much when you were ascended."

"Leesia," He pushed a stray strand of her hair off her face. "I have no way of knowing if any more of my memories will come back."

"There is no reason to believe that they will not." she said interrupting him.

He held aloft his index finger and spoke with his usually quick speed. "My point is; we don't actually know how much of it, if indeed any more, will come back to me. It stands to reason that Oma would have had to remove them to spare me from further punishment. Because I can recall almost everything from before I was ascended, I think it's safe to assume that these couple of memories are a one off that have transpired due to a critical need for then and not likely to reoccur. So to me it's like we're not married, because I don't remember a wedding. Chances are I never will. I don't remember proposing to you and I don't remember a wedding night, or a honeymoon. I would like to be able to remember one. Even if it is a second one. It might not be the original but if a copy is all I can have then I will be grateful. I want to see you in a white dress and I want to speak my vows to you and hear yours…I want to think of you as my wife."

She smiled warmly. "You see how you already are my stubborn husband."

"Humour me."

She rolled her eyes at him with a slight shake of her head, but her smile remained. "Yes Daniel. I will marry you."

He pulled her back into his arms. "Thank you." he said gratefully kissing her shoulder.

"…again." she added, cheekily getting in the last word.