Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!

Last time:

"I'm messed up, okay? I always have been and I always will be. I didn't think about your feelings at the time; I was high as a kite. I wanted his car so fucking bad. When I first started talking to you, yeah, it was for the bet. But he crashed his car the next week, and I still spoke to you. I got to know you and I wanted to be around you. I wanted to be your friend, Bella, because I care about you."

"Don't call me that," I hiss and he looks startled.

"What?" he chokes out, his voice getting thicker with his tears.

"Don't call me 'Bella'. You don't have the right to call me 'Bella' anymore." He lets out a sob from his throat then and I wipe under my eyes with my thumb.

Getting up from the floor, I grab a glass of water and lean against the counter, looking everywhere but him. I take deep breaths, willing myself to not cry. So, Mike crashed the car and Edward still carried on with the bet. What else did he offer him? I'll bet it was much better than a car. After all, he did spend a lot of time with me; time he could have been spending with Emmett, or Tanya.

"Who sent the DVD?" I ask, my voice gruff from crying.

"Tanya," he croaks out and I nod. Of course it was. Why wouldn't she ruin my whole life? "I am so sorry." I ignore him. "Will you ever forgive me?" I look away and shrug, because really, I don't know.

Chapter thirty-five.

Now:

"He does nothing but sit in his room, listening to music. Mom is starting to get really worried about him." Alice sighs, looking over towards Edward. He's sitting in the corner of the lunch room, listening to his iPod and picking at his food, looking sad and lonely. When he first walked into the room, all his friends waved him over, but he ignored them and sat on his own. Did I look that sad and lonely when I sat on my own, too?

"I don't know what you want from me, Alice. He did this to himself." I sigh and put my yogurt on the table, suddenly not hungry any more. Of course, Alice knows everything that went on between Edward and me. Being Edward's sister, she didn't want to know details; she just wanted to know why we weren't together any more. I told her that he was with me because of a bet and she went crazy. She literally went up to Edward and started screaming at him.

He took it like he deserved it, which he did. Hurting me means hurting Alice apparently, and she doesn't take getting hurt too well. When she had stopped yelling at him, he just apologized and walked off. I broke more and more with every step he took. His normally confident demeanor crumbled as he walked away with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slouched over.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Alice says as she wraps her arms around me. I blink a few times and glance at my watch. It's the end of the day already? Where have I been since lunch?

"Yeah, bye." Alice lets go of me and skips over to Jasper, getting into his car. She refuses to ride with Edward as an act of protest. I told her she was being stupid, but she just told me she didn't want to be near her brother right now.

I leave the parking lot and, like always, a silver Volvo trails me the whole way home. I don't know whether to be creeped out or flattered that he wants to makes sure I get home safely. When I arrive at my house, I go up to the door and open it, not even looking back to see if he has left yet or not. I drop my bag in the hallway and go into the kitchen, grabbing a drink. I drain the glass and put it down just as a knock sounds on the door. I go to the door and open it. When I see who's on the other side, I try to shut it again, but he stops me.

"Just five minutes, please," he begs and I sigh. Yes, I want to know why he agreed to the bet, but I also don't want to know. What if he says he only agreed because he thought it would be funny to see me cry? What if his reason is completely horrible? But, what if this was all some stupid joke and he's here to rub it in some more? I can't help but feel that I need to know. So, I step back and open the door a little wider.

"Five minutes." He nods and follows me to the living room. Sitting on the couch next to me, he leaves a wide gap between us. He doesn't start talking right away and I look over to see him looking at the floor, his head in his hands.

"I am so very sorry. Everything is just a big misunderstanding." I shake my head in disbelief, but I don't say anything. How did I misunderstand that the only reason he was with me was for a car?

"I'm not who I used to be. I don't want to be who I am," he sobs, his eyes on the floor. "I never wanted to be like this, but after everything that happened…." he trails off. I furrow my brows.

"What happened?"

I can see him take in a deep breath and run both of his hands through his hair, gripping the longer strands at the back. He's hunched over, nearly falling off the chair, his head still in his hands. I want to go over there and hold him and make all of his pain go away, but I don't know if I could or not. He hurt me in ways I thought he never would.

"It was Christmas, about five years ago. Mom and Dad were still in bed and I was bored, so I called my friends and we all went out," he pauses. His eyes are far away, like he isn't really there. "We had only been out for an hour when one of them pulls out a joint. I was only twelve and I can remember yelling at them that they were too young to be smoking that. They laughed and told me to grow up. They were all fourteen and it was cool to smoke pot.

"They smoked it anyway. They even offered some to me; I declined. I can remember thinking 'why would anyone need drugs?' to myself. He chuckles, but it falls flat. "They smoked a few and I just sat off to the side. I didn't want to get in trouble. I was so relieved when Esme called me and asked me to come home. I told the guys I had to go home and they said they would come with me." He stops talking and runs his hands through his hair. My throat closes up at the anger and hatred on his face. Is that at himself? At the people he was friends with?

"I told them not to bother, but they came anyway. We arrived and I walked in to find Alice and Carlisle in the living room, watching a Christmas show on the TV. Esme was in the kitchen, baking like always." A ghost of a smile flits across his face before it goes again and is replaced by a scowl. He swallows hard and takes his hands away from his hair. He eyes meet mine and I gasp at the pain in them.

"At first we were all just chilling out, watching TV, and having a laugh. Then they all got the munchies. I told them I would get them food, but one of the guys wanted to get it. He went into the kitchen and came back out, Esme following him with a plate of freshly cooked cookies. They all dived for them and she smiled, handing them out." He lets out another sob and I take his hand in mine, wanting to offer him some form of comfort. Yeah, he's hurt me, but he's hurting too.

"They were fighting over the cookies, just messing around, until one of the guys took it too far and punched his friend. Esme stepped up and tried to break it up. She was knocked into one of the windows and it shattered as she went through it." I gasp, my stomach going into my throat and my heart sinking at the same time. Poor Esme. Why doesn't anyone know about all of this? Surely my parents would have told me if they knew.

"She landed on the glass and it punctured into her stomach and back. Carlisle went into doctor mode and the guys ran. They knew they would get in trouble, so they fled the scene. Alice called an ambulance and I just stood there. I had no clue what to do." I rub the back of his hand with my free one. He's lost in his memories, but I want to help him if he needs it.

"She had lost so much blood by the time the ambulance arrived. I can remember, it was like she was lying in a puddle. I know people aren't supposed to be able to smell blood, but I could; all salt and copper. It was so strong. I threw up; I ran to the bathroom and threw up while my mother was dying." He shakes his head, his eyes meeting mine briefly before he looks away again.

"She was in the hospital from nearly a month. She lost a lot of blood, but she also lost her baby." My free hand goes to my mouth. Esme was pregnant? When was she pregnant?

"I'm so sorry," I whisper and he turns to me, leaning forward and putting his head into the crook of my neck, nuzzling into me. I let him. What he must be going through is so much worse than my stupid problems.

"She was eight months along. They tried to save the baby, but they couldn't. They had to remove the baby and then her womb to stop the bleeding. It was her last chance to have a baby, and I stole it."

"No! That wasn't your fault!" I hiss, holding him tightly to me. He nods against me, and I want to tell him again, but I know he won't listen to me.

"When she got out of hospital, she was so sad. She had to take medication because she was depressed. She seemed to be getting better and then one day, I came home from school and found her in her bedroom. She tried to kill herself with her sleeping pills. I called Dad and he got her to the hospital.

"Alice and I went to see her when she woke up and she just sat there, glaring at me. I asked her what was wrong and she told me it was all my fault. She told me I had killed my little brother and she didn't want to live if she couldn't have him. She told me she didn't love me anymore because I took away the one thing she wanted most." He stops again and I can feel my shirt slowly get wetter and wetter. His whole body shakes against mine as he sobs into my neck.

"She didn't mean it, Edward. She loves you, you know that." He shakes his head, but I know he believes me, deep down.

"She's right, it's all my fault. If I hadn't brought them back home, none of it would have happened. I killed my baby brother." I let him cry, because he obviously needs it. If Renee told me she hated me, I don't know what I would do. My mom means everything to me, even if she does get on my nerves sometimes. It's obvious Esme had counseling after all of this happened, but did Edward?

"Have you ever spoken to anyone about this?" I ask.

"We went to family sessions, but it was so hard talking to someone about what I was feeling. I never went back after the first two sessions, but everyone else still went." I can hardly understand him because he is sobbing so hard, but I nod and run my fingers through his hair.

We sit like this for nearly an hour. His crying stops and he just sits, playing with the hem of my shirt. I don't move away or speak to him because I know he just needs to be alone with his thoughts for a while. Every once in a while, he sniffles and the sound melts my heart a little more.

Yes, he hurt me and, yes, I shouldn't forgive him so easily, and I'm not. But right now, he needs me to support him and not yell at him and kick him out. He has some serious issues with himself and Esme, and he needs to talk to someone and work through them. Whether that person is me or a therapist, he needs someone to talk to.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, pulling away so he can see my face.

"What are you sorry for?" I don't want to think he's sorry for what he did when really he's just sorry for crying.

"For everything; for just now and for what I did to you." I look away from him, but he grabs my chin and makes me face him again. My eyes meet his and I can't look away from them.

"When I took that bet, it was for a laugh." I shut my eyes and try to get out of his grip. "Please, just listen." I open my eyes again and nod hesitantly. "But after spending just an hour with you, I knew I didn't want anything to do with it any more. I know you probably don't believe it, but you are a special person, Bella." Even thought I don't like him right now, I can't help but blush.

"I told Mike I didn't want anything to do with the bet anymore and he was cool with it. The bet was cancelled before New Year's." I sniffle slightly and look into his eyes. I see nothing but honesty in them. Everything wasn't a joke to him? "Everything was real, Bella," he whispers.

Everything from New Year's has been real? It hasn't been some sick, cruel joke and there weren't any bets? Sure, this may have started off as a bet, but he told Mike he couldn't do it anymore. Is that why he seemed so shocked I knew, because the bet wasn't even on anymore? All this hurt and heartbreak happened for no reason.

"You really loved me?" I whimper, tears filling my eyes. He nods, a small smile on his lips. He leans forwards and brushes his lips gently against mine.

"I still do love you. I never stopped loving you," he admits, his smile getting bigger. "Why didn't you let me explain when you saw that stupid DVD?"

"Because it never made sense for you to love me." He shakes his head and pulls me to him, holding me close to him.

"I love you, Bella," he whispers.

"I love you, too," I admit, making him smile brightly. "If this is going to work between us, you need to talk to someone." His smile turns into a frown and he looks away. I grab his chin like he did to me and make him look at me. "I mean it. You are obviously feeling some hurt and anger and you need to have someone help you with it all." He nods, but he seems like he doesn't agree with me.

"Then you need to talk with someone, too. You need to understand that you aren't fat or ugly. You need to understand how beautiful you are."

Two years later:

Edward and I did attend therapy, together and separately. With help, of course, we became stronger as a couple and as individuals. My confidence grew and I realized that most things that were said about me were just horrible lies.

Edward is in medical school and I am attending the University of Washington to study writing. We're still together and I see him every day after school and on the weekends. Our relationship is stronger than it has ever been, and he is always quick to tell everyone I am his girlfriend.

I love Edward and I know he loves me, too. Everything could work out, but then again, it could all crumble around me. Being with Edward is worth the risk. He has quickly become everything to me, and deep down, I know we will make this will work.

Loving him, and having him love me in return, is everything I will ever need. Our love will see us through everything.

:') I can't believe that was the last chapter. There is an Epilogue coming shortly. I hope you have all enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you all for you support and love. It means so very much to me.

Thank you all for reading and please review.

Thanks, RuthPerk, who has BETA'd this whole story for me.

Thanks again to everyone who has been here from the start, or who has found this story and thought 'hey, I'll give it a read'.

Twi-girl09

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