"Stupid woman..." He limps over to the bed, not noticing that somehow Reaper had gotten pictures from his apartment in Namimori and placed them around this room. "Maybe I'll finally be able to get a good night's rest. But goddamn, I'm gonna hurt all over tomorrow."
Gokudera falls back on the bed and closes his eyes, relaxing completely before bolting up as he hears the sound of breaking glass from across the hall. As he listens there comes a solid thump and more breaking glass, worry built in his chest and ignoring the pain in his ankle Gokudera runs to his door and throws it open. Another crash comes from within Phoenix's room and he rushes to her door, banging on it with his fist.
"Aydan! Aydan, what the fuck is going on!" Phoenix gives him no reply except for a sudden cry of pain and more breaking glass. Gokudera's worry reaches its peak at the sound of Phoenix in pain and he half screams through the door. "AYDAN!" He takes a few steps back and runs up against the door but it doesn't budge, so he goes back again and runs into the door again a sense of accomplishment filling him as it cracks a bit. Gokudera nods and backs up as far as he could before running into the door at full force, breaking it open and tumbling into the room. His first instinct is to look for attackers but all Gokudera sees is Phoenix destroying the room and everything in it. "Jesus, what the fuck are you doing!"
Phoenix doesn't seem to see or hear him as she picks up a picture frame and throws it at the opposite wall before walking over to the already destroyed couch and pulling out the small knife sticking out of it. Ignoring the blood flowing freely from her hand, Phoenix throws the knife into the TV with enough strength to knock it off the table. Gokudera runs as fast as he can and grabs Phoenix from behind, trapping her arms against her body.
"Stop it Aydan! Stop it right now!"
"No! I have to do this!" Phoenix yells out in an almost animalistic way. "I have to do this!"
Her arm shoots back and elbows him in the stomach, pulling a howl of pain from Gokudera but still her refuses to let go.
"NO! Stop this! You don't have to do anything! Just stop...DAMN IT!"
Phoenix kicks her foot back, hitting him the ankle while screaming.
"HAYATO LET ME GO!"
The silver-haired teen tears up and yells in pain.
"FUCK!" Despite the pain Gokudera holds onto the girl a bit tighter. "I CAN'T LET YOU GO! Because...I let you go once before, and that was the worst mistake I ever made...just...Stop!"
Phoenix stops struggling, still angry but her curiosity overrides it for a moment.
"What do you mean?"
She tries to look at him over her shoulder but finds is impossible so she begins struggling to get out of his tight embrace. Gokudera turns her around so he can look in her eyes, but doesn't release her from his arms.
"I mean...I don't want to let you go. I...I..." Phoenix's bright blue eyes seem to capture Gokudera's thoughts, hypnotizing him in a way. 'Jesus Christ, she's beautiful.' He thinks to himself, before taking a deep breath and kissing Phoenix on the lips. Unlike the last time Phoenix doesn't push him away, but Gokudera does feel her stiffen so he slowly lifts his lips off of Phoenix's and searches her eyes. "I love you."
The anger slowly drains from Phoenix's face and is quickly replaced by confusion, her breath was coming quickly as she tried to work out if Gokudera was lying or not. The anger quickly returns as Phoenix's eyebrows furrow.
"I bet this is just you trying to calm me down. Well it won't work!" Phoenix begins to struggle again and Gokudera tightens his grip on her.
"Stop...Struggling...DAMN IT! In my-DAMN IT, I SAID STOP STRUGGLING!-In my darkest moments, I met you and you...I didn't realize it then, but when you left me to come back to Chicago, I realized that I loved you. I always have, okay?" Gokudera looks into the pale girl's eyes as she stops struggling against his hold. "I wouldn't go through everything that I have for someone I didn't love. So don't you dare think this is all just a joke or something!"
As Gokudera looks into Phoenix's eyes, he thinks he sees a spark of fear but is unsure.
"I...I...I can't except this as a truth...it...it's impossible for someone like you to love me." Phoenix stares at him pleadingly. "You deserve someone whole, someone who can love you back with everything they have! Not someone who's so broken they aren't even human anymore! Not someone who hates what they see in the mirror! Not me!"
"Jesus, now I understand how you felt." The teen bomber sets his jaw. "Listen, we're both fucked up. But...we can make each other whole. I have you and you have me. DAMN IT AYDAN! Wasn't it you who said that you loved me? Well now I'm telling you that I love you. Just...accept me...please." Gokudera wraps his arms tightly around Phoenix and bends his head down so that his forehead is resting on her shoulder. "I want you."
Phoenix forces her way out of the clear hug and takes a step back.
"DON'T DO THAT!" Her voice breaks slightly. "Don't hug me..." As Gokudera looks at Phoenix he sees a look of pure fear come over her face, and hidden underneath that fear, sadness. "I don't care how you see yourself, you are not fucked up! You are the best thing that ever happened to me, so don't you dare say you are fucked up! Don't you ever say that you are!" Tears appear in Phoenix's eyes as she looks at Gokudera. "You're right, I do love you. And that's why I can't let you waste your time on me! I am broken beyond repair and you deserve someone whole."
Phoenix takes a step towards the open balcony door and Gokudera quickly attempts to follow her but his ankle had begun to bleed again when Phoenix kicked him and walking was impossible.
"M-Merda!" Gokudera looks at Phoenix and allows his fear of losing her show. "Don't...don't leave me, Aydan. Damn it! Why would you do this!" He looks down to hide the pain he knew was on his face. "You're the only one I've become attached to. My whole life I've had people leave me and be assholes! Don't...don't be the same. You're beautiful, Aydan! Why can't you just belong to me? You deserve happiness! We deserve it!"
The redhead takes an involuntary step closer when she sees how much pain he's in but stops herself and looks at Gokudera with fear in her eyes.
"I can't get attached to people, Hayato. Every time I love someone they die! Every single time!" Phoenix falls to her knees and the look of fear had spread from her eyes to the rest of her face. "I can't lose you Hayato...I can't take it! Don't you understand that this, that us being together, it would kill me! Because I want nothing more than to be with you, but I know if I let myself love you then something will happen! Because something always happened! I-I can't live through that again...If I lose one more person...I-I'll die...I know I will."
Gokudera limps slowly over to Phoenix and kneels down in front of her.
"I'm scared too Aydan. I don't wanna lose you, but isn't it better to have been together than to die and have regrets of never enjoyed being together?" His uninjured hand reaches out and brushes her bangs out of her eyes. "Please. I need you as much as you need me."
Phoenix is obviously holding back tears and it takes her a few seconds to find her voice again.
"You couldn't possibly need me as much as I need you." Her forehead touches Gokudera's and she closes her eyes before almost whispering. "It just isn't possible for you to love me..."
Gokudera moves closer so that their noses touch, keeping his eyes open as he studies the girl in front of him.
"Oh, but it is. I love you Aydan. So...much..."
The clear green-eyed teen moves closer to Phoenix, their lips almost meeting.
"Are you sure that you're not just drunk?"
Phoenix laughs slightly and moves just a little closer to him, her eyes open now and searching his eyes.
"Maybe the painkillers are getting to me slightly."
Gokudera smirks and places a hand on the nape of her neck, closing the remaining distance between their lips with a gentle pull. Phoenix lets their lips stay connected for a second before pulling back slightly, but only enough so that she can talk.
"I didn't give you any, remember?"
Their lips meet again and this time it is Gokudera who breaks away, a blush across his cheeks as she catches him in his lie.
'Shit, she remembered.'
He searches for a reason why he lied, quickly trying to see if Phoenix was angry.
"I-I'm not usually like this...Damn it! You see what you do to me!" His blush deepens. "But...I don't really mind...I guess."
Phoenix smiles and shakes her head slightly.
"Absolutely pathetic. That's what you are."
She kisses him again while winding her fingers in his hair.
"Oh shut up."
Gokudera gives the kiss a little bit of force and smiles as Phoenix returns in kind.
"Not in a million years."
Phoenix smirks as she wraps her arm around his neck and pulls his body against hers, kissing him all the while. Gokudera grins into the kiss as he gently and slowly pushes Phoenix onto the floor while kissing her passionately.
"Where..." He pecks her lips. "did you learn..." Gokudera's breathing was heavy now. "how to kiss so well?"
"No idea." Phoenix pulls his head down and kisses him while her hands find the edge of his shit, pulling it up slightly. Phoenix kisses him again, only breaking away when Gokudera lifts his arms up and lets her pulls his shirt over his head. The red-haired teen takes a sharp breath at the sight of Gokudera's bare torso, her breathing deepening as she doesn't seem to be able to tear her eyes away from him. "I've never done this before. What about you?"
Phoenix looks up into Gokudera's eyes, finally looking away from his naked chest.
"N-No, never. Are you nervous?"
Gokudera kisses Phoenix again as he finds the button to her pants and Phoenix doesn't answer but places her hands against his chest, kissing him as her hands memorize his body.
"W-Wait, I just thought of something."
Gokudera pants as he looks down at Phoenix.
"W-What?"
"Reaper. He's bound to have cameras around here."
Despite her words Phoenix reaches up to kiss Gokudera again, smiling as he kisses her back.
"And? Let him watch if he wants. I don't give a fuck." He kisses her some more, reveling in the feeling of her lips against his and her hands against his chest.
"But I do. He was my older brother for years. Can't you see how that would make me uncomfortable?"
"Not in the least." Gokudera trails his kisses along Phoenix's jaw and down her neck, leaving a few marks on her pale skin. Phoenix's eyes roll back slightly at to feel of his lips on her neck.
"Okay, think about it this way. What if it was your sister?" Phoenix allows him to continue to kiss her neck but quickly forced his head up so she can kiss him again.
"I've walked in on her private moments more than once. And vice versa. I fail to see how it matters." He pecks her lips and smiles. "It's all natural anyway."
Gokudera leans down to Phoenix's ear and bites it lightly smirking as he feels a shiver run though her body.
"No wonder you're so messed up." Phoenix laughs slightly. "Listen I just don't want..." Stops as Gokudera interrupts her with a passionate kiss, his hands resting on her hips. "I don't want Reaper to watch." Her head bends back as Gokudera kisses her neck again. "I can and will punch you in the arm Hayato."
Gokudera finally relents.
"Fine, fine." He kisses her passionately one last time before sitting up. "You're such a tease, you know that?"