Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.

Don't Mess With Kneazles

Trying and failing to wrap his mind around how this could happen, how he could so completely lose his mind and fuck up this badly, Scorpius swiped his hand through his already messy hair as he tried to ignore the pounding in his head. Not an easy thing to do, but the shocks his system was taking numbed at least some of the pain as memories continued to float to the surface, showing him bits and pieces of what had happened the night before. It was a puzzle with a number of missing pieces, but he had enough to get the picture all too clearly.

Sensing eyes on him, and not Potter's, Scorpius turned his head and met a golden brown stare that promised untold pain if he tried anything the creature didn't approve of.

"And just where the fuck were you last night? You could have stopped us!"

The kneazle gave him a dirty look while remaining tense and at the ready, no doubt prepared to pounce and dig its fangs and claws into him if it thought he posed a threat to it or its owner. And that wasn't false bravado on the creature's part, Scorpius mentally acknowledged, they were damn aggressive and possessive things, hence the necessity of a license to own one.

Potter took this one with him everywhere so it was trained, but the Slytherin didn't doubt the animal still had all its claws. He couldn't recall its name, but he vaguely remembered that it was somehow related to the fact that the feline's fur resembled a night sky in that it was mostly pure black with small white splotches on its rump that sorta resembled a quarter moon and stars. The female students thought it utterly adorable, but the creature had never been anything but coolly dismissive towards him.

Studying the animal reminded him that he also had a pet back in his own room to deal with, unfortunately. His grandmother had decided he needed companionship and that giving him an animal to take care of and love was just the thing. His was a little over half kneazle according to its papers and not at all aggressive thus far. It had gotten its brains from its more magical side though, so at least it was intelligent enough to stay out of his way most of the time.

He still hadn't figured out how to get rid of it without his grandmother finding out and skinning him over it.

Pushing that thought aside, it wasn't like he didn't have more immediate problems, Scorpius turned his attention back to the son of a bitch who'd shagged his fucking ass the night before. Still fast asleep of course, and completely defenseless save for the feline guarding him. And while the idea of jinxing the jackass or pushing him off the bed sounded wonderful, if damn juvenile, Scorpius was aware enough to know that he wasn't up to fighting with the other man at the moment. He felt like crap and it was going to take him a while to reconcile himself to what they'd done and how he was ever going to be able to live with it, much less how he wanted to behave towards the other man.

But would he be sending the right message if he just left and dealt with Potter later?

His headache made the decision for him, the Slytherin getting up and getting dressed with the damn kneazle's eyes following him the whole bloody time, obviously not trusting him for a second.

Once he'd found all his clothes and war wearing them Scorpius left the man's rooms as quickly as his body would move, having no idea that the Gryffindor's pet had stolen and hidden his wand while he was sleeping.

)

Waking up by degrees, as was his way, Albus slowly stretched his limbs out while groaning low in his throat, loath to get up at all. If he could have made a living staying in bed all day, with his warm covers and sleep…oh what a happy, happy man he'd be. But he couldn't, unfortunately, and he really did need to get up and go to the loo. He'd drunk way too much liquid the night before and he had a bad taste in his mouth that he needed to…

Mental thought stalling as he remembered the night before, Albus slowly lifted his head up from his pillow as his new thoughts jolted his brain into a state of awareness that usually required a shower and a strong dose of caffeine to achieve.

Holy Hogwarts…had that been…had he really…surely he hadn't….oh fuck.

Knowing in his gut that what he was remembering wasn't the result of some weird ass dream brought on from bad liquor, Albus turned his head to look at the pillow beside his, seeing the indent where another head had rested during the night. Shit. And upon investigation the sheets on that side still carried some residual warmth, though it was faded enough that Albus figured the other man had been gone for at least an hour.

Not that that mattered in the grand scheme of things.

He'd gotten drunk and shagged Scorpius Malfoy…the world was officially coming to an end.

This was going to scar him for life, the memories of the night before becoming clearer the more the horror of it all woke him up. He remembered that he'd been responsible for making the majority of the moves too, which just made it that much worse since he couldn't even say he'd been the one who'd been seduced. Nope, he'd been the one to give Malfoy the hand job, just as it had been entirely his idea for them to head to the bedroom so that he could shag the Slytherin properly.

And oh but he had, Albus thought with a groan, able to remember quite clearly just how sweet an ass the Slytherin possessed. It had taken some serious preparation, like all Malfoys the blonde had been a tight ass, but oh once he'd gotten the man all relaxed and loose beneath him…

Groaning at the thought, particularly when a mental image of what Malfoy had looked like as he'd thrusted inside him, the way those grey eyes had stormed and the little gasps and moans of pleasure that had escaped those surprisingly delicious lips…going to haunt him forever, Albus decided with another sound of dismay. Forever and ever.

Shifting back onto his back Albus raised his hands towards the ceiling in a 'Why?' gesture that pleaded with the fates to clue him in as to why the hell they'd let him make such a monumental, life altering mistake.

One Malfoy was no doubt plotting to kill him over at the Slytherin's earliest convenience, Albus thought bitterly as he dropped his hands back to his sides, too busy bemoaning his fate to react to the familiar feeling of his kneazle stepping onto and over his legs on the way up to face him.

Looking back over to where Malfoy had been sleeping earlier Albus wasn't really all that surprised to see Yue walk in a circle before curling up there to take advantage of the warmth. Nor was he terrible surprised to see that his pet was wearing an extremely disapproving look on his black face.

"I know. I know. I really fucked up last night, didn't I?"

Yue nodded firmly, in complete agreement of that statement.

"Thanks for that. You're always so supportive." Forcing himself to sit up Albus scrubbed his hands over his face, wishing he could brush the memories from his mind just as easily. Memories he was pretty sure were etched onto his brain to the point where only a memory charm would be able to erase them. Well no, actually, he didn't want to lose the memories so much as change the man he'd made those memories with. The sex had been pretty damn good considering how impaired they'd been at the time.

It sort of made him wonder just how good they would have been if they hadn't been drunk.

Groaning at the thought Albus threw back his covers and got out of bed, knowing that if he didn't get his bum in gear he'd be back under them and hiding like a kid in seconds. He needed the loo and a hot shower, he told himself. He'd think better and straighter then and…and maybe the fates would take pity on him and give him some clue as to how he was going to fix things before he suffered major brain damage.

)

Stumbling out of his bedroom and all the way to the bathroom, Albus quickly did his business and then headed for the shower, deliberately turning the temp up even higher than normal. It was funny really, Albus thought bitterly, how he'd always thought that it was actually a good thing that he tended to remember everything he'd said or done while under the influence of alcohol. He always knew if he needed to apologize for something, could help fill in the blanks for others, and in general those memories tended to encourage him not to drink too much unless he had a really good reason to do so.

Now he was sorta wishing he was one of those people who blacked out everything that happened to them when they over indulged.

At least he'd topped, though that wasn't necessarily a good thing since he'd bet the contents of his bank vault that Scorpius had wanted to kill him this morning for that reason alone. Because while he of all people knew not to believe gossip blindly, he had always figured that it was safe to believe that Scorpius really was the type to always top and never bottom. It just fit the man's personality, and he could at least testify to the fact that the one lover he knew they in common had been a bottom. So yeah, if he'd taken the man's ass's virginity he could see his name becoming numero uno on the wizard's shit list.

Come to think of it…why hadn't Malfoy tried to take him out while he was sleeping?

Yue's presence? His kneazle wasn't someone you wanted to mess with after all. Or maybe Malfoy hadn't remembered what had happened last night and that's why he'd left without striking out at him? Maybe the blonde had blacked it all out and was even now planning to act like it hadn't even happened for the sake of both their sanities. That would be awfully handy…so he wasn't really counting on being that lucky.

It was far more likely that the Slytherin had wanted time to formulate a punishment great enough to fit the perceived crime and he'd be seeing the man's wand pointed in his direction in the near future without warning. That would be fun.

Wincing at the mental images his brain was now generating Albus stuck his head back under the running water and seriously considered just drowning himself and getting it over with.

This was not the way to start the day.

)

Towel wrapped securely around his waist Albus opened the bathroom door ten minutes later, surprised to find his kneazle waiting for him on the other side with something in its mouth. Not a mouse or rat either, Albus thought as he crouched down, recognizing the item in question straight away as he took it from his pet's mouth. "A wand?" Not his either, which begged the question of where Yue had gotten it. Perhaps someone had dropped it in the hallway last night and Yue had picked it up?

Or… "Did you find this in my bedroom?"

Yue shook his head.

Albus considered this, studying his kneazle's face intently. "Did you take this out of Malfoy's pocket while he and I were sleeping?"

Nod.

Okay, technically speaking he should at least scold his pet for stealing, but Albus could follow the creature's thought process and had to agree that it was probably for the best that Yue had taken steps to insure that if Malfoy had woken up in a murderous mood the Slytherin would have had to do it physically instead of just offing him while he slept.

So instead Albus gave his best friend a good scratching under his chin and rubbed the kneazle's fringed ears for good measure as he thanked the creature for always having his back, smiling automatically when Yue purred his enjoyment.

Now he just had to figure out how to get the wand back to Malfoy without them actually having to interact, Albus thought with a sigh, as he had no idea what he was supposed to say to the Slytherin. Or if he should even say something at all since Malfoy would no doubt want to pretend it had never happened whether the blonde actually remembered what had happened or not. Assuming the man didn't intend to perform memory charms on the both of them or just plain jinx his ass into the next century for fucking his.

It had been a really nice ass too.

And thoughts like that could get him killed, Albus scolded himself as he rose to his full height and headed for the bedroom to get dressed, dropping the Slytherin's wand on his dresser. Once dressed the Gryffindor picked it up again, rolling the wand around in his palm as he pondered what the hell he was supposed to do with it. Leaving it propped up against the man's door or in a bag would be the safest thing to do, but he preferred to face his problems head on and the sooner he faced the other man the sooner he would know where they stood and just how much the Slytherin wanted his head on a platter.

Sighing at the thought Albus walked out of the room and headed for the coat rack he kept near his front door, sliding on his long leather coat before slugging his largest satchel over it across his chest, leaving the flap open.

Calling for Yue Albus picked the kneazle up and dropped the feline into the satchel, this being their normal way of transporting his pet while inside the castle.

And he'd let him out to wander as soon as they were in the Forbidden Forest, Albus promised the kneazle as he opened their door and stepped out, locking it behind them. Yue could catch his own breakfast if he wanted shortly.

"Provided I'm up to going anywhere besides the medical wing after this." Albus muttered to Yue as they crossed the hallway, the Gryffindor taking a deep breath before forcing himself to knock on the potions teacher's door, pulling the man's wand out of his pocket with the other.

They didn't have to wait long, Albus and Yue both a little amused when the Slytherin opened the door just enough for him to see them and glare at them.

"I thought I should-." Albus didn't get to finish his sentence, the blonde snatching the wand out of his hand on sight.

And then Malfoy slammed the door shut in their faces.

"That actually went better than I thought it would."

Shaking his head Albus decided to let it go for the moment and started on his way, thinking that he should keep his eyes out for anything interesting in the forest that the Slytherin might want for his storage room.

He'd always been a big believer in bribery.

)

Marching back into his parlor with his wand Scorpius was torn between being grateful that he had it back and that Potter had been the one to come to him and not the other way around, and mortified that he hadn't handled the whole thing better. He should have let the man finish his sentence at least. Now he looked like some immature teenager who couldn't handle a morning after conversation. Potter had come right over, for Merlin's sake, which just made him that much worse, leaving the way he had.

But he'd had a headache, dammit.

Lips curling into something perilously close to a pout Scorpius crossed his arms and stayed like that until he felt something bump into his foot.

Looking down the Slytherin studied the ball and then turned his attention to scanning the rest of the floor until he spotted the creature who'd thought it perfectly all right to body check the cat toy in his direction. Couldn't have done it any other way, Scorpius thought darkly, given how small the bloody thing was. It was about half of Potter's kneazle if you discounted all his feline's fur.

Like a wad of cotton, he thought as he lightly kicked the ball in the direction of the pet his grandmother had insisted he just had to have. Apparently she'd thought he'd react better, or at least be more inclined to be nicer to a small animal, so she'd gotten him a kneazle mixed with some kind of cat called a skookum, which was one of the smallest cat breed there were according to her.

The fact that Potter's pet could totally own his pet in a cat fight displeased him almost as much as the idea of owning the thing in the first place.

What the hell was he supposed to do with it, anyway, Scorpius fumed, kicking the ball back towards the cat as soon as it head butted it in his direction again. It probably couldn't even take down rodents without injuring itself.

Huh, maybe he could say Potter's kneazle was picking on it and that was why he had to give it back to her. For the thing's own safety, Scorpius reasoned, as he continued to send the ball back to the feline with nudges of his foot.

No…his grandmother knew him too well to think he'd take his cat being picked on by Potter's. That would be a declaration of war in his books and they both knew it. That he didn't even like his pet was beside the point. Until someone else owned it the dumb creature was his.

Dammit.