Chapter 15: Lost and Loss

Veronica wakes up and is confused for a moment when she finds two shirts wrapped around her. She looks around and sees Nick asleep on the ground beside her, and he is shirtless. A flush appears in her cheeks and she looks away before thinking that he is asleep, he can't see her. She looks back at him and is struck by just how many scars he has. They crisscross his back in jagged lines. They can only be the result of having been whipped, savagely. She shudders to think about the pain it must have caused him. Of all the things she has learned about him, one of the most prominent is that he very rarely expresses pain. She has heard it a few times when he has talked about specific things in his past, but other than that he has remained totally stoic. That, and his crazy, while un-predictable, is trustworthy and worth listening to.

She tilts her head up and looks at the sky, wondering if there are any, 'crows', or red things communing with Nick right now as he sleeps. In all honesty, she hopes so. Thus far his visions, for lack of a better term, have proven to be correct each time. They could really use some guidance right now. Looking around the landscape looks the same in every direction. Endless wasteland stretching for miles and miles.

Nick stirs and after a moment sits up. She watches as he rubs his eyes and looks around them for a moment in confusion. Then recollection dawns on his face and his expression darkens. He stands, "We had better get moving before the sun is all the way up. Otherwise we will waste most of the cooler part of the day." Veronica stands and hands him his shirt. He pulls it on and without another word sets off, and she follows. For several hours they wander. And like them, Veronica's thoughts also wander. Thoughts about her family, the bunker, the brotherhood, and the elder race through her head. She misses them. Now more than ever. She wishes she had worked harder to make them realize that their current path would only lead them to destruction.

Maybe going to that vault had been the worst idea. Maybe she shouldn't have let little Jamie come with her. Maybe she should have just listened to the elder and not poked her head into places she didn't belong. Maybe then Jamie wouldn't be dead and she wouldn't be an outcast, useful only for supply runs. At least she learned from the ordeal. Never trust anyone fully. Not even if they are family. Not even if you loved them. The image of Christine appears unbidden in her thoughts and she scowls. The pretty young face vanishes and Veronica sighs audibly. Stupid woman. Stop falling for people who die or disappear.

Up ahead Nick has climbed to the top of a rise and is shading his eyes. He seems to be looking very intently at something. Hope blossoms inside her chest and she rushes up to stand beside him. She squints out through the almost blinding heat haze, and sees nothing but more wasteland. She shakes her head in frustration and looks harder. Now she can just barely make out what looks like an unusually small range of mountains. No, they are too close to be full fledged mountains. "What are those?"

Nick lowers his hands, "Looks like a stack of rock. That next to it may be large construction equipment. Maybe a mine? Or a Quarry? Either way it is the first thing aside from desert we have come across. We need shelter. There is a chance there could be something in there to help us, but..."

Veronica knows where he was going. "But we have no idea what else may already be living there." Nick nods. Veronica looks behind them. All she can see is their own tracks, nothing else. "Seems to me we don't have any choice."

"No," Nick shakes his head and starts walking, "we don't."

Jane stops for a moment and takes a long drink from her canteen. This is the second day of their search for Nick and Veronica, and so far they haven't made any progress. At least not any that she can tell. They started where the Correctional facility the two were sent to infiltrate, or at least, what was left of it. The entire place was a smoking ruin when they got there. There were some tracks leading away from the facility, but there was no way to tell which were the ones they needed. Luther seemed to pick a set at random and set off. Now they are stuck in the middle of the desert following a quickly fading set of tracks that have lead them into the middle of the desert. A campsite was found a few hours ago, but it was at least a day old, if not older. For whatever reason Luther is convinced these are the tracks they need. Jane has already figured out that all they will find at the end of this trail are two dead convicts.

She had been harboring hopes that she would be able to win some goodwill from Luther, Tyler, and Kc with this mission, but so far none of them have been willing to say any more than a few words to her. Kc is the only one of the three who has warmed to her in even the slightest way, and all that means is that the young tribal girl isn't too offended to mind walking together. "So," Jane starts, "can you tell me why those two hate me so much?"

Kc gives her a surprised look, "Because you are a bitch. Didn't you know that?"

Wow, talk about your slap to the face. The fact that the kid doesn't even seem to realize just how offensive that was makes it even worse. Is she really that bad? Nah, there is no fucking way. With a shrug she reaches a hand into a pocket and pulls out a strip of gum. She pops the overly sweet candy into her mouth and starts to chew thoughtfully.

So she sometimes takes advantage of peoples emotions to get her way. Sometimes she plays and blackmails her own crew to get their compliance with her overly complex plans. Maybe she gets bored and doesn't always finish her missions. So what? Does that make her a major bitch? Actually, now that she thinks about it, yeah it probably does. Whatever. She works for House. The rest of the wasteland can go fuck itself. Far as she is concerned, so long as things end up the way they are supposed to, House in power while the Legion and NCR are royally fucked, she is perfectly content.

She is surprised when the flashback starts. She sees herself sitting on a bench near a trashcan fire. Her gear is completely different than it is now and she looks younger. someone is sitting across the fire from her, and she can't make out a face, but she knows it is a friend. The two of them are discussing a job. The other person is stating something similar to what she just thought about House, claiming that there is no real point in fighting for a better wasteland when something else will just come along and destroy everything you built. She is surprised when her younger self takes offense. The memory shows her getting very angry and going on a long and honestly well spoken rant about how you have to fight for the future. How you have to always look at the better side of things. Always finish what you start, even if you fail in the end, all that matters is that you accomplished making that far.

The flashback ends abruptly and she finds herself rooted to the spot. What the hell? That sounded nothing like her. Or, did it? Is that really what she used to be like? Did she really have such idealistic views of the world? She shakes her head and realizes she has fallen behind. She sprints to catch up with the others. Once she draws level with them she checks her pipboy out of habit. Surprise crosses her face as she sees a marker she placed in the past. She activates it and a sense of dread takes over. "Shit."

The others stop and look at her. "What is it?" Tyler asked, sounding annoyed.

"We have to hurry. If these tracks are actually Nick and Veronica's then they are in serious trouble!"

She makes to push by them, but Luther grabs her arm, "What the fuck do you mean? What is up ahead?"

"A quarry. I've scouted it before. The entire fucking place is infested with deathclaws. It is the only other form of shelter around here. It is the only logical place for someone to go if they don't already know what is there. We have to get moving!"

Luther frantically jumps down a crevice in the rocks as the deathclaw rockets over his head and slams into the quarry wall. The leg he lands on gives out and he feels something snap. With a furious sound he lunges upwards and buries his knife into the soft tissue of the deathclaw's underbelly. With a savage jerk he slpits the beast open and recoils as hot blood and innards rain down. He reaches up and drags himself out of the hole. His leg is all but mangled from the fall.

Somewhere he hears the sound of Tyler and Kc goading a deathclaw as they fight furiously to survive. A scream pierces the air and Luther turns to see Nick pinned at the edge of the quarry cliff and a massive claw bearing down on him. Luther lifts his rifle to fire but the gun only clicks. With an animal sound he charges the beast! In his head a voice screams, matching the sound escaping his own mouth.

"YOU WILL NOT KILL HIM!"

Just as the claw makes to swipe at Nick, Luther collides with it. The full weight of his body sends the deathclaw off balance and they both topple off the edge of the cliff. The claw roars, but Luther cannot hear. The claw buries its fierce talons into his back, but Luther cannot feel. The ground rushes up to meet them. All Luther feels is satisfaction. He did it. He saved his son.

The heavy steel door opens and Luther steps through. A genuine smile graces his tired face as he looks into the room where his wife is cradling his daughter in her arms. She looks up at him and smiles, holding the little girl out for him. He takes the small bundle and gently holds her against his chest. The face that looks up at him fills him with love and warmth. A small giggle escapes the girl as she reaches up and wraps her little fingers in his beard. A tear falls down his cheek. He has done it. He has saved his daughter. He his home.

Veronica watches in silence. Beside her is Jane and Kc. Never before has she heard a sound the likes of which she hears now. Never has she seen anything like what is before her. Nick, holding Luther's broken body in his hands, tears flowing freely down his face, and Tyler with his teeth bared, his head gripped in his hands, and on his knees in raw physical pain. Blood flows from all three of them, mixing together in the dirt of the wasteland. He is gone. Luther. He is dead.

Time seems to stretch on forever as they behold the sorrow before them. Nick exhasts his supply of tears and yet still he heaves and cries. Tyler rises from his kneeling position and places a hand on Nick's shoulder. Nick shakes him off but Tyler grabs him. "No more, he wouldn't want any more." Slowly Nick stands, still holding Luther in his arms. His mouth is set in a grim line and a fire more fierce than any Veronica has ever seen ignites in his eyes.

Nick passes between them and comes to a stop before Jane. The way he is holding Luther almost looks as though the is offering him to her. "House."

Some unspoken conversation transpires and Jane becomes panicked. "No."

"House." Nick repeats.

"Nick, no, he wouldn't do this. This isn't his fault. Luther choose to save you. House had..." Nick pushes past her and walks away. Veronica watches and remembers what he said. War never changes. Well, maybe not, but she is sure that he his about to start a war, and this one will be like no other.