Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.

Note: I got bored at work and thus Snow's song was born. It's to the tune of 'I Am Cow' by Arrogant Worms, a song and band probably unknown outside of Canada for the most part lol.

Pet Retrieval

Yawning widely Snow thought to himself that he would be quite happy to wake up every morning on a nice warm bed with Albus and Yue close by. He liked not sleeping alone. And maybe he could ask Yue to ask Malfoy to let him sleep with him instead of the bed he was supposed to sleep in. He'd much rather sleep with his person if given the choice. But even if the man wouldn't let him he was still happy, Snow decided with a content little purr, because he had a name now and soon Malfoy would come and get him because Albus had explained what had really happened before to him.

In fact, he was so happy that he felt like singing, Snow decided, humming lightly to himself before he began to sing in his own language.

"I am Snow, hear me mew,

I am twice as cute as you,

And I'm super white and fluffy too,

Kneazle, kitty, pet and creature,

Malfoy is my person, People

I am Snow, I am Snow, hear me mew…"

"You're really happy to have a name, aren't you?"

Turning to look in Yue's direction, the kneazle staring back at him with amusement, Snow would have blushed if it were something he was capable of. As it was he stared down at his paws as he mumbled that yes, he was very happy to have a name now.

Shaking his head Yue got to his feet and stretched out his body, feeling relaxed and ready for the day ahead. And seeing a bird fly past the nearby window the kneazle licked his lips and checked the time on the bedside clock. It was still plenty early…Albus wouldn't be awake for another two hours at least. Perfect.

Starting towards the end of the bed Yue paused to look over his shoulder when Snow asked where he was going. "Outside to get breakfast."

"Your breakfast is outside? Why?" They'd gotten their dinner inside and he'd seen Yue's bowls.

"I'm going to catch my breakfast. There's a feeder nearby and the birds will be coming by." Albus hated watching one animal eat another so he did try to hunt when the man wasn't awake or around to see him do it. Hence the fact that Albus tended to get busy doing something else in the Forbidden Forest when he was looking for a meal.

Eyes going wide, Snow was properly awed at the idea that Yue could catch his own food. He'd tried to catch a bird once…it had not ended well. "Can I come and watch?"

"You'll have to be still and quiet."

"I will, I will!"

Shaking his head Yue knew he'd regret it, but he agreed to let the furball come with him.

)

Naturally Scorpius hadn't taken the Gryffindor's word for it when it came to what had actually happened in his rooms the day before. Instead he hunted up the Bloody Baron after his discussion with Potter and he'd asked the Slytherin ghost to have a little talk with the poltergeist about it, trusting that the man would be more than capable of finding out the truth for him. Peeves was too scared of the Slytherin to lie for long and everyone knew it. And as it turned out Potter had indeed been telling the truth about what had happened, unfortunately, which meant that after he'd gotten up and dressed for the day he'd gone about putting up shields around his rooms so that the poltergeist wouldn't be able to pay him a visit ever again. What he was going to do when he went after Peeves was still up in the air for the moment, it not being an easy thing to punish him. But he would come up with something, oh yes he would.

And after some debate Scorpius magically altered his front door to mirror his neighbor's, making it so that the pet he was shortly going to have to retrieve could come and go through it whenever it wanted. Apparently creatures with kneazle blood didn't like being confined, and even if that weren't the case he wasn't adverse to the idea of the thing spending as little time in his company and rooms as possible.

Even if Potter was of the opinion that the damn thing really liked him for some reason.

He was only taking the stupid feline back because he'd realized how much it would upset his grandmother if he gave the creature to a Potter of all people, Scorpius grumbled to himself. Even the fact that it would be well loved by the animal obsessed Gryffindor wouldn't have quelled her ice cold fury once she found out. And she would find out, she had the power.

Studying his handiwork the Slytherin decided that it was good enough, unable to actually test the spell without Snow present to walk through the door. Snow. What a stupid name. Not the worst name the thing could have gotten stuck with, but seriously, how unoriginal. He couldn't have come up with something way better if he'd cared enough to do so. White cat equally snow, please.

Rolling his eyes Scorpius shook his head and turned to head towards the Great Hall to get some breakfast. He'd walk back with Potter after the meal and retrieve his stupid pet from the man then, though Merlin only knew what bad habits and stupid ideas the thing had gotten in its pea sized brain in the time it had spent around Albus. The other man could sorta talk to him after all, so Potter might have even brainwashed the cat into driving him slowly crazy somehow. He'd have to keep an eye out, just in case.

He was so lost in thought as to how the Gryffindor could get the feline to mess with him that he didn't see them at first. The fact that they were so close to the ground didn't help, though the way the smaller one was dancing around the bigger one should have drawn his attention sooner.

"Oh yay, they're friends now."

His voice had his pet stopping mid dance, the feline making a distressingly happy sound before running towards him as quickly as his little legs could carry him. Potter's kneazle just kept walking, all cool and composed as per usual. Why couldn't his pet be that mature and badass? It was fundamentally wrong that Potter got the Slytherin version of a feline while he was stuck with a Hufflepuff cat on a sugar high.

When his pet reached him and started weaving in between his legs while purring Scorpius leaned down and scooped the puffball up, not wanting to trip over the damn thing because it had all the sense of a lemming.

"So you're keeping him now?"

Scorpius was tempted to tell the Gryffindor to bite him, but the man had done that before and he didn't want to tempt Potter's Weasley genes. Better he just ignore the annoying prat.

Leaning down to let Yue hop up and into his arms, Albus shrugged off the silent treatment he was getting from the Slytherin and instead turned his attention to his pet, asking the feline if he'd be correct in assuming that he'd been out catching his own breakfast and therefore didn't need to be fed. When Yue nodded his confirmation Albus did his best not to wonder what his kneazle had eaten and instead started heading in the direction of the Great Hall.

"Aren't you worried he'll eat someone's pet, letting him hunt when he likes?"

"He hasn't done it yet." Albus pointed out when the Slytherin fell into step beside him. "And he's too smart not to be able to tell a pet from a wild animal." Pause. "And I don't think you have to worry about Snow eating a pet if you let him wander either. It's the stairs you're really going to have to hope he's careful about."

"It would be a little funny to see him try to navigate them." Scorpius said aloud, though more to himself than to Albus.

Looking heavenward Albus silently asked the fates why they made Slytherin humor so twisted before asking the blonde just how old Snow actually was. He'd forgotten to ask before and he was curious as to how much bigger the ball of fluff was going to get.

"He's five months old…and part Skookum."

Given Malfoy's tone of voice he was going to guess that particular breed of feline was small to begin with, Albus decided, making a mental note to look it up when he had the chance to appease his curiosity and learn more about it. "Well odds are he'll get bigger, most house cats are well over a year old before they finish growing."

"Well he's more kneazle than cat, when do they stop growing?"

Albus and Yue gaped at Scorpius like he'd just told them that he'd always wished the Sorting Hat had put him in Hufflepuff.

Annoyed, their mouths were literally hanging open, Scorpius glared at them as he demanded an explanation for their reaction.

"Sorry, I just…are you sure about that? There are some disreputable breeders out there." Albus didn't continue, not wanting to hurt Snow's feelings by drawing attention to how small and un-kneazle like the feline was.

Snow was a sweet natured powderpuff.

Considering the possibility that maybe he could maybe get rid of his pet if he told his grandmother she'd been sold an inferior product, that would really piss her off, Scorpius mulled over the possibilities before naming the breeder listed on the papers he'd been given.

"Oh. Huh. No, you can trust him." Studying Snow more closely, aware Yue was doing the same, Albus could not see the kneazle in him but hoped for the feline's sake that that side of his nature took over soon. Scorpius would get along better with it then. Kneazles, even when they were young, tended to be very aggressive, un-affectionate towards most, and prone to demanding a certain level of respect and attention from their people and getting violent if that didn't happen.

Feeling like he needed to set an example for his kind Yue wiggled out of Albus's hold and took a seat on the Gryffindor's shoulder instead, perching there with the sort of posture and expression that said he was the ruler of all he surveyed and that anyone who thought differently was in for a world of hurt ASAP.

Watching the kneazle out of the corner of his eye Scorpius had to admit that the feline did look pretty sick, even more so compared with the ball of fluff he'd only just now realized he still carried. He hadn't even realized that he and Potter had been walking side by side and holding a normal conversation until now, which was just wrong on a number of levels.

Thinking much along the same lines Albus kept his face very blank as he pointed out that they could leave their pets to wander the school while they had breakfast since both had apparently eaten anyway and Yue was more than capable of looking after Snow.

"Why did you name him that, anyway?" Calling his hyperactive terror Snow made sense because of the thing's coloring, but he'd never even heard of the name Yue before.

"Oh, because the marking on his lower half look like a moon and stars. Yue is Chinese for moon. I wanted to name him after his coat, but Moon didn't strike me as a good name, and Luna would have only worked if he was a she. Lune was a no go either and to make a long story short Hugo knew how to say moon in a lot of languages and I settled on Yue."

"I see."

"Out of somewhat morbid curiosity, are you being polite to me so that I'll take your cat off your hands whenever it suits you?" Albus just grinned when the Slytherin glared at him. "I'm just asking. Because you can be your usual asshole self if you want, I'll still let him visit Yue and I. It's not like my bed isn't big enough for the both of them and me."

The fact that he had firsthand knowledge of the other man's bed just made Scorpius's scowl deepen as he informed Albus that he was perfectly capable of being polite, even when he was dealing with brain dead, useless Gryffindor prats.

Albus smirked, not the least offended. "Well since we're being so chummy at the moment, there's something I've always wanted to ask you. Does that broomstick you carry up your pert little ass all the time hurt, or does it give you a rush, Malfoy?"

Yue snickered on Albus's shoulder while the Slytherin turned all different shades of red.

"How dare-you have no business-was that a dig about what happened?" Scorpius finally got out, his eyes narrowing even as Snow let out a little yelp in response to being held a little tighter than he would have liked.

"Hey, careful!" Reacting to Snow's cry for help Albus reached out and tugged the little guy out of Scorpius's hold and then placed the feline in one of his robe pockets for safety.

"Give him back!"

"When you've calmed down." Was Albus's stubborn, 'not going to change my mind on this one' response. "And what did you mean by a dig? This isn't the first time I've told you you're a tight ass-ah." Light dawning Albus grinned evilly. "You thought I was rubbing it in your face, the whole me topping you thing."

A hiss of indignation was Scorpius's reply.

Shaking his head Albus would have rolled his eyes if it weren't for the years he'd spent with the Malfoy heir when they were students together. At times like this it would be extremely dangerous to his health to look away from the angry blonde for even a second. "Look, if you're worried that I'm going to tell someone that I took your ass virginity, don't. That's not something worth bragging about. It's more like nauseating." Actually it wasn't, but he wished it was so that he didn't have to fight the urge to check out Malfoy's ass every time he saw the man.

Opening his mouth to inform the bastard that he most certainly had not stolen his ass virginity Scorpius had to close it again because not only was Potter right, but contradicting him would mean he'd have to portray himself as the sort who wasn't man enough to always top.

Dammit, stuck between a rock and a hard fucking place.

As hard as Potters oh so sexy rock hard abs, Scorpius's treacherous subconscious purred out.

Hating that voice, and the fact that it too was right, Scorpius did what came natural to him and lashed out at the assehole causing him problems, informing the prat that he could damn well quit smirking like that since he had absolutely nothing to be smug about. Absolutely terribly in bed, Scorpius informed him, the worst he'd ever tangled in the sheets with. And on top of that they would never have gotten naked together if he hadn't been drunk at the time, that's how bad he was.

"I'll give you the last part, but not the first. I happen to be friends with someone who slept with Edward Davenport, and I got an earful about how crappy he is in bed. And you slept with him when we were in school together so yeah, I'm not the worst you've ever had. If you even remember us sleeping together in the first place."

Okay, yeah, Davenport had been a pretty crappy lay, which was why he'd only slept with the whiney little gobshite the one time before dumping his ass. Damn. And as for that other thing… "You do remember that night, right?" If only he remembered he was going to take his memories, put them in a Pensieve, and then force Potter to watch the whole thing so that the Gryffindor was just as traumatized by what they'd done as he was.

Scorpius watched Albus's face closely for his reaction, wanting to make sure the man wasn't lying when it was so obvious that he was weighing how to answer that.

"I remember most of it."

"Most of it?"

"Well hell, I was drunk you know. But yeah, I do remember enough to know that you definitely weren't my worst lay ever, if that makes you feel any better."

It actually sort of did, not that he needed reassurance about how hot he was in bed. He knew he was spectacular, thank you very much. But it had been his first time being on the bottom and it was good to know that he was just as awesome in that position as he was on top. "So who was your worst?"

"A gentleman doesn't tell."

Scorpius snorted. "I've got five galleons that says it was Druitt."

"Druitt? What the…who the hell told you I was dumb enough to sleep with that guy? I'd have slept with you sober first!"

Completely taken aback Scorpius asked him if he was serious.

"Of course I'm serious. Have you spent more than five minutes in that guy's company? His hamster is so totally dead."

Now he was just confused. "His hamster…what's his pet got to do with anything?"

"I didn't mean that he has an actual pet- it's an expression. Like saying someone's a few bricks short of a wall, or so dumb he tried to have a staring contest with a Basilisk. His wheel might still be turning but his hamster's dead. Get it?"

Scorpius nodded, indeed getting it and filing the insults away for future use. He could think of a number of students he could apply the insults to.

And thinking along the same lines Albus shook his head and mentally apologized to those poor students. Not that having Scorpius as a teacher wasn't reason enough to pity them in the first place. Poor, poor them.

"You owe me five galleons."

"Oh bollocks."