It had been two days since their shared drink in the office. Two bloody days of wandering what she was meant to do with Bernie's words. Yes the whole thing had terrified her to hell and back. Kissing another woman wasn't something she'd ever considered before that particular moment when they'd sat there in theatre tired and emotionally drained. She would be the first to admit that she was frightened of what people might say, might think about her. All she was certain of was that in that moment it felt curiously right. That's what frightened her the most if she was truthful with herself. The overpowering sense of safety and comfort she got even from those brief chaste moments of connecting lips. Even the thought of Bernie's lips had her yearning for more, needing to be close to her.
Somehow the ex-army medic had managed to work her way under Serena's skin without her even realising it. Their friendship was born out of her own overwhelming feeling that the blonde was there to keep an eye on her which had initially rilled her up in completely the wrong direction. Somehow a shift had occurred, Serena, almost kicking and screaming, had realised that they were equals and wanted the same thing when it came to their patients wellbeing. From then on she had become increasingly thankful for the blonde's presence, allowing their professional relationship to spill into a strong personal friendship. Despite this, it hadn't been until Bernie had taken that first step into a new unknown that Serena realised just how much Bernie meant to her.
The blonde was funny, intelligent, strong, cool and collected under pressure, independent, confident almost to the point of cocky at times, caring, a risk taker, sassy, the list was endless and Serena couldn't help loving each trait that presented itself. It didn't help matters that under the surface of conscious thought she couldn't help but find Bernie very attractive.
It was nearing the end of the shift and luckily it had quietened down enough that it wasn't strictly necessary for here and Bernie to constantly be on the ward. Serena had just finished up with a patient and headed back in the direction of her shared office. As she approached the nurses station she saw a mass of wavy blonde hair that made her heart skip just a little faster. She sighed in resignation, it was now or never.
'Ms. Wolfe, a word please,' she stated in her most professional manner as she passed the nurses station, pausing only for a moment to make sure the blonde had heard her. Bernie looked up, briefly catching her eye, a look of curiosity crinkling her features. She stood from the behind the computer she had been working at and followed Serena the short distance to their shared office.
As Serena closed the door and turned to face her co-lead she couldn't help but notice the rising butterflies that were turning her stomach inside out. Her hand still on the doorhandles she quickly looked down at the floor hoping it would give her the confidence she needed for what she was about to do. She let out a short sigh before turning fully to face Bernie. The Intensity of the blondes dark brown eyes nearly knocked Serena off her feet.
'What's wrong Serena?' Her concern was blatantly obvious in her voice. Serena's eyes fluttered shut for the briefest of moments before she opened them again, returning her gaze towards Bernie's face.
'I can't do this any more Bern.' She all but whispered. With a small waver in her voice. 'I can't pretend like nothing happened.' She gave a small nervous laugh before continuing, 'Yes, what happened between us terrified me but,' she trailed off suddenly unsure of what she wanted to say. Her eyes wandering to a point just beyond her shoes, her hands fidgeting.
'But?' Bernie asked softly, there it was, that all enveloping caring that made Serena's heart melt just a little more. Her eyes flitted up once more to meet those of one Bernie Wolfe, who had seemingly flowed a few inches closer to her.
'My whole life I thought I new who I was. Confident in the fact that I was straight. More recently confident that the majority of men are jerks and resigning myself to the fact that I would most likely be single for the rest of my life. But then you show up and you pull the rug from under me and turn everything upside down. The amount of times I've told junior doctors not to mix work and love, you would think I could take my own advice. As I said the other day I've never been more than friends with a woman before. It's a new experience and one I never thought I'd have. Then when you said that you thought it wise we keep it to theatre it was like a punch in the stomach. I can't keep running. I can't pretend that I don't feel anything for you.' She had to stop there as she could already feel a few stray tears escaping her. For the latter half of her mini speech she hadn't been able to look at Bernie but at that moment when she did finally look up at the taller woman. She saw a hint of sadness behind the stunned expression.
'Please say something Bernie,' she pleaded. All Bernie could do was close the distance between them and embrace Serena in a tight hug.
'Why didn't you say something sooner?' She whispered into the brunettes hair.
'Because it's what I thought you wanted. Friendship I mean.' she almost chocked out. Bernie pulled back ever so slightly so she could rest her forehead against Serena's before tilting her chin up with her hand and looking intently into the brunettes eyes. Her hand came to gently rest against Serena's check as her thumb brushed gently against the roughed skin there. By this point both women's eyes were sparking with unshed tears.
'I couldn't believe my luck having such an intensely amazing woman in my life. I didn't want to ruin that by scaring you and therefore push you away.' She confessed not taking her eyes away from Serena's. She pulled back even further and ran her fingers down to entwine her hands with the brunettes as she pulled her over to sit on the two chair's that weren't really necessary for the room but somehow found their way there.
She leaned an elbow on the back of her seat as she turned to face Serena. The thumb of her other hand tracing small circles on the back of Serena's hand.
'If I'm being honest with you? I'm scared as well. What I had with Marcus, I thought it was real, that it would be forever. But honestly when people describe true love, that's not what it felt like, not really. I loved him yes but not in the way you're suppose to love the one you marry. Then there was Alex and that was never really going to work out. That was born out of war, fear of death, the need to be with someone to make you feel like you weren't alone in an endless reign of gunfire and needless bloodshed.' She paused then her hand moving from Serena's hand to her knee and squeezing gently. 'And now there's you. Wonderful, funny, attractive you. I love your confidence, your talent, your passion, your smile that makes me feel like a lovesick teenager all over again. I love the little frown which means your stressing or concentrating on something. I love how you give your all to something. I love the way you move in theatre. I love the way you make me feel like nothing else matters and that everything will be ok.' She was stopped then by Serena's hand coming up to gently cup her check before she moved forward to press a firm but gentle kiss to her lips.
At the contact Serena felt Bernie instantly relax into her, letting her mouth be explored by Bernie's soft but questioning tongue. Only the need for air break the pair apart.
'No more secrets?' Serena asked with a relieved smile playing on her lips.
'No more secrets.' Bernie replied a joyful smile pulling at the corners of her own lips.
'Now I do believe there is a pile of paperwork that desperately requires our attention before the end of the shift. So, hop to Ms. Wolfe.' Serena smiled, never breaking eye contact with the blonde as she made her way to her own desk.
'Oh you are such a task master Ms. Campbell,' Bernie replied with a small smirk in her voice.
'Yes but you wouldn't have it any other way.' Serena said with a small wink. Bernie couldn't help but laugh as she moved to the other side of the office to her own horribly tall pile of paperwork. The two women sat, working in comfortable silence, looking up at each other every so often. Knowing that things between them would never be the same again. The feeling of mutual respect, attraction and love filling their eyes.
As they walked across the car park to Serena's car, Bernie couldn't help but want to be in her company for as long as possible, their fingers laced together with gentle ease. Serena turned to face Bernie with an easy smile playing at the edges of her lips. Eyes flickering down to the tempting smile before her, Bernie slowly leant down to gently brush against Serena's mouth smiling before she firmly kissed the shorter woman needing to know that this was real. She felt Serena's tung softly sweep across her lips and parted them to allow the brunette access. She moaned into Serena's mouth at the feelings burning inside her. Even during her army days she had never felt as alive as she did now. Needing more contact, her arms snaked around Serena's waist, effectively trapping her as she pulled the brunette flush against her. She felt an arm fall around her neck and a hand in her hair. If this wasn't living she didn't know what was.
As they parted Bernie's eyes took in every inch of Serena's slightly flushed face. She deeply needed to remember every inch of the one person who she was falling completely head over heals in love with.
'I want to do this properly Serena. I want this to work.'
'Me to,' was all that the brunette managed as she couldn't tear her eyes away from Bernie's
'Would you care to join me for dinner on Friday?' Bernie asked nervously.
'Of course I would,' the shorter woman replied without a beats hesitation. With that Bernie placed a chaste kiss on Serena lips before wishing her a good night.