Arthur tried to feel something, but he just felt empty.
"How did this happen? Was it because of that poison?"
"What poison?" Guinevere asked, and Arthur noticed how Hunith wrapped her hands around the younger woman.
"Yes. And no. It's some kind of side effect. It's because of the poison and the antidote," Aeron murmured.
"You two can't do anything?" Arthur demanded.
Gaius looked apologetic and shook his head.
Arthur sighed and turned to Hunith. "Hunith?"
The poor woman looked so sad, but still she tried bravery to smile.
"I'm not alone, Arthur, I can handle this. I know, that someday he… that he…" She couldn't find the words to finish her sentence, and so Arthur knew that there wasn't much of hope. They all knew it.
"I have to see him." Arthur started to walk toward Merlin's room and no one stopped him.
His hand hesitated for a moment at the door handle. Finally, he forced himself to enter.
The room was quiet. Merlin sat on the bed. Everything seemed normal; Merlin looked healthy and rested. But something was different.
Merlin turned to see Arthur, and his smile was hesitant. He rose and stared at the Prince. Arthur swallowed. This man was close to that which Merlin had been years ago when he had come to Camelot. He even looked younger, somehow. In Merlin's eyes shone a glimpse of innocence again. At some point, he had lost it, and Arthur hadn't even noticed. Merlin seemed restful, but quieter, and that was even stranger.
Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't say anything. Merlin looked at him, confused; but unlike Arthur, Merlin spoke. And he asked a question that Arthur never wanted to hear.
"I'm sorry, but do we know each other?"
There wasn't anyone waiting for him. Just Gaius. Arthur walked to the bench, sat quietly down and stared into the emptiness.
It had been a blow below the belt. It was as if all the air had been forced out of his lungs. Arthur watched his hands and realized that he was trembling. He had never imagined that this could happen. He was always prepared for the fact that death was a part of life: that anyone around him could die at any time. People whom he trusted could betray him. Arthur was thought that he had been ready for any loss; he was not a dreamer but a realist. But this, this had never crossed his mind. He could still see his friend before him, but it was no longer the same. Merlin couldn't remember any of them; he had even forgotten his own mother.
"I gave him a sedative. He is sleeping now."
Gaius's voice penetrated Arthur's consciousness, and he turned to look at the older man. Still, he couldn't say anything. Gaius sat down on the other side of the table and poured them both a drink.
Arthur drank his with one gulp, and immediately spat it out again.
"My God, what is this?" he gasped.
Gaius smiled, tasting his share cautiously. "Something that is only for special events."
"Warn me next time," Arthur said, and held out his mug. Gaius filled it again.
This time, Arthur was left staring at the dark liquid thoughtfully. He though about Merlin, but something else too. He remembered the previous night's nightmare.
"Gaius, there is something else that I have to discuss with you."
"Yes?"
"It's about my mother."
#
Morgana stood in the middle of the arena, her head held high, proudly, fearlessly. This time, she wasn't going to lose. No, even though she was surrounded by druids who were ready to resist her. She raised her hand and whispered something. Excalibur, which was lying on the ground, rose and flew towards Arthur. It struck him through his chest, sending him to the ground. He was lying motionless, and Morgana started to laugh triumphantly.
"What have you done?" someone asked. She couldn't see who it was; she had her back to him. Morgana turned, and at once her whole surroundings chanced. She was now standing in the woods, near the river. Merlin was standing in front of her. Morgana was startled. Something was different about the man. She remembered that gentle, bereft gaze.
Merlin held out his hand towards her. "Come."
Without knowing why, Morgana grabbed his hand, and Merlin pulled her to him. He put his arms around Morgana and she didn't resist. Instead, she bent into his embrace. It felt good. And then, Merlin raised her face and kissed her.
Morgana woke up gasping air. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. She scrambled up.
"Impossible. It's impossible."
She didn't know what to think. It had seemed so real. She splashed her heated cheeks with the water from a bucket, and felt relief as the colour began to recede. She stared into the water, at her reflection.
Once she had felt something towards Merlin. That he seemed to understand her better than anyone else. Now she knew why. Merlin had magic. Merlin was Emrys. And he was ready to kill her.
Suddenly, she wanted to feel those arms around her again, feel that warmth surround her.
How cold it was now, standing alone in the middle of her small hut. There wasn't anyone to comfort her.
She felt the tears in her eyes.
#
Merlin. That was his name. Merlin. It didn't sound familiar at all.
He stared the roof sailings.
Why he didn't remember anything?
He knew how to eat, how to breathe, how to stand, how to sit, how to walk; but he couldn't remember anything about his life before the morning when he had woken up.
That old man had tried to explain, but Merlin was just too confused to listen.
His mother had been there.
Hunith.
Throughout the day, there had been some others.
His grandmother: Annis.
His uncle: Andrew.
His friends and family. He couldn't recall any of their names.
But the last one had looked so hurt. He had been so sad.
Arthur; his name had been Arthur.
The name echoed around his mind. He knew that it was important to know that name; that there was something behind that name. Behind his own name.
Merlin.
Arthur.
He continued to watch the roof.